Severus sat alone on the windowsill at the end of the seventh-floor hallway. His eyes were wandering aimlessly: first to the faint marks on his right hand, left there by the Unbreakable Vow; then to the tiny specks of dust, dancing on the last shaft of sunlight.

He was performing his duties.

He was waiting for Draco Malfoy to get out from the Room of Requirement.

But deep down, there was only one person he desperately needed to see, to talk to, he longed to be with Laurel.

He turned his gaze to the lake, and a pang of fear chilled his heart: She was drifting farther and farther away, and it was all his fault.

He stood up, the heaviness in his chest too much to bear. He was a marked man; maybe he didn't deserve a chance after all the sins he'd committed.

Severus felt his eyes water, triggering his occlumency, instinctively numbing his feelings, stopping all thought and shackling any emotion.

It was already dark when Draco finally faced his Head of House.

Another futile attempt to make him confess what was he doing inside the Room of Requirement, another useless reprimand on his chaotic ways to try to assassinate Dumbledore.

"She was the one who almost drank the poison," — he hissed angrily at Draco. — "If anything had happened to her, I would have poured venom down your throat myself!"

"As if you really care at all for the Soulless one" — Draco paled and his gazed filled up with resentment. — "You care about no one!"

"I care about you! Your stupid games are only leaving you exposed".

"I can take care of my own skin. I don't need you babysitting me" — Draco smiled slightly. — "I am close... I am so very close".

"What are you doing there? If you fail on the next attempt..."

"Dumbledore will be in my hands," — the young man cut in vehemently. — "And when I fulfil my mission, you will no longer be able to usurp my father's position. The Dark Lord will reward us".

Severus fell silent, looking into the young wizard's sharp, tired face.

"I see a lot of myself in you, Draco. I was also very naive, very trusting in our Master's promises. I learned the hard way..."

"Shut up!"

Draco's lips trembled as he addressed his former favourite teacher in that manner. Whom he had respected and admired. The godfather that he saw sporadically during the summers of his childhood and who always brought books of gothic and mysterious stories to share with him.

He had learned to hate him.

"Keep your nose out of my business. You and that pet of yours".

The young Slytherin turned his back and walked away briskly, with a confident spring in his steps.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Severus had wandered through each floor of the school, inspecting the library, the astronomy tower, the gardens, but found no sign of Laurel. He had finally reached the small room that she used occasionally and after knocking a couple of times without getting an answer, he decided to open the door.

The lights came on as soon as he stepped inside. The room was in perfect order, the bed was made, and a few books were neatly stacked in one of the corners of the desk.

Severus sat on the bed, feeling orphaned in the loneliness of the room, surrounded by the belongings of the woman he loved. He looked at the nightstand and his eyes lingered for a long moment on the small laurel tree, entranced by its constant blooming. He reached a hand to grabbed one of the minuscule flowers before it withered away and that was when he noticed the open diary. The final entry from just two days ago:

"I know I could never replace her, but I have no command in my heart. I love him, and I love him dearly and I hope he feels the same".

Severus closed the diary and hugged it against his chest, not wanting to invade her privacy. He let his body fall on the bed, his head against the soft pillow, breathing the scent of Laurel, the weight of her words crushing his chest.

He realised he would never be free to love as his guilt was still prevalent. His sins unatoned, the memory of Lily, still alive.

He closed his eyes, his thoughts drifting slowly, his breathing slowing down. The heavy drowsiness of sleep fell upon him but then a noisy crack made him sit back up.

"Dobby does not wish to disturb you, Master Snape, but Master Dumbledore wants to remind you about your meeting in the headmaster's office. You are running late, Master Snape".

Severus rubbed his face, trying to shake away the weariness that had washed over him.

"Master Snape, would you like Dobby to bring you a coffee?"

"No, I am good". — Severus stood up, turning to the elf, asking suddenly —"Do you know where Laurel is, my assistant? I haven't seen her all afternoon".

"The elves who care for the grounds have said that a woman has jumped into the lake. Dobby has heard that Miss Noel left the Hogwarts grounds".

"She left?! What do you mean she jump into the lake?! —Severus couldn't believe his ears. —"Was she hurt?"

"Miss Noel was fine. She walked on her own accord to the entrance gates. She was accompanied by Master Lupin".

Severus sat back on the bed, feeling a burning sensation fill his stomach, rising to his chest and making him clench his teeth angrily. They must be in Hogsmeade. The wizard could imagine them together, sitting in some corner of a tavern, hugging each other. His face flushed red, and his hands trembled as he gripped his wand. He would go find her.

"Tell Dumbledore I will not attend". — He said as he walked to the door.

"Dobby is afraid he cannot allow it, sir. Master Dumbledore have given Dobby the order to bring Master Snape to his office".

And without much consideration, Dobby took him by the ankle, disappearing with him and taking him in the presence of the headmaster.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Severus was thrown carelessly into the chair in front of the headmaster's desk. The wizard looked angrily for the elf but couldn't find him. In his place, his eyes met Albus Dumbledore, who was next to the Fawkes' perch. He was feeding the beautiful phoenix with his blackened hand while humming weakly, as if he hadn't noticed that the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher had suddenly appeared in his office.

Severus cleared his throat and frowning impatiently blurted out:

"Whatever you're going to say, just say it. I don't have time for these trifles".

"Good night to you too, Severus". —The old headmaster replied without looking up. — I am glad you have decided to show up".

The young wizard massaged his temples, controlling his temper. He knew better than trying to escape his obligations with Dumbledore.

"You seem a bit restless, my friend". — Dumbledore patted Fawkes's head, who gave a soft gurgle.

"She is gone. Out. Somewhere in Hogsmeade I presume".

"And you are upset about it? Were you expecting her to stay around you at all times?"

"I...don't." —Severus face flushed red. — "It may be dangerous for her".

"But she is well guarded as far as I know". — Dumbledore finally looked a Snape with a sympathetic smile. — "Remus is a capable wizard. Miss Noel is in safe hands".

Severus crossed his arms and bowed his head, looking down at his shiny shoes, feeling the sting of his jealousy raging in his mind.

A slight breeze made him look up again. Dumbledore had opened one of the windows, his face turned towards the blackness, carrying Fawkes on his arm. A second later the bird took flight, spreading its enormous wings, leaving a faint trail of light in the thick darkness of the sky. Severus heard the haunting song of the phoenix fell down on the earth, filling all void. Dumbledore closed the window and turned to him.

"There are important matters we need to discuss, Severus".

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

"Do you remember your promise?"

"I am not sure I will be able..."

"No, my friend, I am not talking about my death". — Dumbledore stood up from his desk and walked around his office, his hands behind his back. — "The promise you made to Lily Potter".

"I have protected the boy". — Severus snapped. — "I have done the best I can to keep him from harm being him such an arrogant rule-breaker".

"You don't want her sacrifice being in vain, right Severus? Such a wonderful woman, Lily. Not everyone would have done what she did. What she ended up giving us: A way to defeat Voldemort".

Severus closed his mouth, nodding in agreement.

"She was special".

"She is special still, knowing her blood runs through Harry's veins. Her memory still alive. She is still with us, and the only way she can be vindicated is by destroying her murderer.

Snape's lips twitched.

"And it's supposed to be Harry who does it?"

"It's the only way, but he mustn't find out, not until the last moment, not until it's necessary, otherwise, how would he have the strength to do what must be done?"

"What must he do to destroy the Dark Lord?"

"That is something between Harry and me. Now listen carefully, Severus. There will come a time... after my death... don't argue, don't interrupt me! There will come a time when Lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake".

"Nagini?" —Severus whispered, astonished.

"Nagini." —The headmaster nodded. — "When Voldemort stops sending the snake to do his bidding, and starts keeping it beside him under magical protection, then, I think, it will be safe to pass the information on to Harry."

"But what information are you talking about?"

Dumbledore took a deep breath, resting his hands on the desk. His eyes looked directly at Snape.

"The night he tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, destroying his already emaciated soul. A fragment of that soul was blasted apart from the whole and latched itself to the only living being left in that place". — Dumbledore closed his eyes and sank back into his chair. — Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Harry, and that's what gives him the power to talk to snakes, and the connection to Voldemort's mind that he's never been able to understand. And as long as that soul fragment remains attached and protected by Harry, Lord Voldemort cannot die.

A long silence fell over the men. Severus could hear the beating of his heart, the feelings he had harboured for Lily awakened with an unusual force. Tenderness, passion, sadness, pain. All the emotions that he had kept in his heart overflowed, dizzying him, and leaving him without strength to even look up at the old man.

"So, the boy... the boy must die?" — He finally asked with a broken voice.

"Yes. And Voldemort himself must do it. That is essential".

Severus leaned away from those words, away from the wizard that he once considered the epitome of benevolence. He felt he was unable to breath.

"I thought...all these years...we were protecting him for her. For Lily."

"We have protected him because it is essential to teach him, raise him, to let him try his strength. Meanwhile the connection between them grows stronger. I have sometimes thought that Harry himself suspected it. I'm sure he's preparing for when he does set out to meet his death, it will truly mean the end of Voldemort."

Severus was horrified.

"Have you kept the boy alive so he can die at the proper moment? You have raised him like a pig for slaughter".

Dumbledore finally opened his blue eyes but didn't fix them on Severus. His gaze fell on the oak doors of his office. After a pause he turned his sorrowful face towards the man who was looking at him in shock.

"Don't be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"

"Lately, only those I couldn't save". — Rage, mixed with a sad resignation drowned out his voice. — "You have used me".

The old wizard took a few seconds to answer him. Taking a deep breath, he sized up Severus. He had known him since he was a mere eleven-year-old. Thin and sad. Always sad. Like himself. The love that Dumbledore had felt in his youthful years had ruined his life and that of those he loved. Love was banned in some people's lives. Everything for the greater good. He glanced toward the door again.

"Meaning?" — He finally said.

"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. I cannot take part of this. I will not..." — Severus buried his head in his hands, his voice sounding crushed.

"That is touching. Has your infatuation with Laurel made you soft, Severus? Made you realise there is more to life than defeating Voldemort? Has she made you forget Lily's sacrifice?"

"Never... Don't... I don't..." — Severus stood up, moving away from Dumbledore, his eyes closed in horror.

"Do you love that woman enough to make you forget that it was because of your actions that Voldemort marked Harry as his equal?"

"I don't! My whole life, I have only lived for Lily, and nothing will ever change that". — Severus voice cracked. — "Expecto Patronum"

From the tip of his wand burst a silver doe: She landed on the floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window.

Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded, he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were shinning.

"After all this time?"

"Always". —said Severus.

The soft click of the door latch made his head turn quickly.

"There was someone listening to us".

"It's nobody".

Severus looked at the headmaster and knew immediately what had happened. Cold sweat broke out on his body, his blood drained from his face.

"It was her. You have brought her here."

"I had to do what is best for both of you. What is best for the wizarding world..."

"I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE!"

Dumbledore trailed off, his eyes bulging in bewilderment at the torn face of his most precious spy. The dark eyes shining with rage, his lips down, in a wretched lament.

"Why?"

"It is fair she knows your true feelings. You don't love her enough".

"But I do..." — The man let out a sob Dumbledore had only heard once, the night after the Potter's death.

"Compose yourself, Severus." — He said standing up and moving to appease the teacher.

"Don't come any closer, Albus." — He whispered as he wiped his face with the sleeve of his coat and walked towards the door.

"Wait, we haven't finished our conversation yet".

But the wizard slammed the door behind him and ran down the stairs.

Albus Dumbledore was silent, surrounded by the portraits of former Hogwarts Headmasters, some of them clicking their tongues in disapproval.