Warning: 

The next chapter contains scenes with explicit sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.

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Professor Snape's bedroom was just behind his office, in the dungeons. It was a spacious room, with a raised ceiling from which an unlit chandelier hung. The only source of light came from the narrow windows that surrounded the room, the panorama they offered could not be more atypical: being underground, the secret depths of the Black Lake were exposed through the glass. The soft blue-green light tinted the white sheets of the black wooden post bed.

Severus was there, leaning against the headboard, his cloak hanging neatly in the closet, his frock coat unbuttoned, his feet bare despite the cold and damp that were always present in the dungeons no matter what time of year. He had given up all effort to change his clothes and have a night's sleep and rest as Dumbledore had commanded:

"I appreciate this information. Now is the time to keep a constant eye on Draco; a cursed artifact is a danger even to himself. Go to rest, surely today was a very long day". - He had said, while he put the invisibility cloak away.

Severus had bowed, but something in his gaze and his haste to leave the office made Dumbledore stop him.

"No, Severus, you will have to stay at Hogwarts tonight, and I would suggest that you start spending more time here. Christmas is nearing and I'm sure Draco will want to strike very soon. Also, I am running out of excuses to tell the other teachers... Minerva is not taking well you have neglected your obligations as Head of House, although, Filius and Pomona are glad that Slytherin has finally lost its biggest sponsor..."

"I can't abandon her." - Severus interrupted him. His gaze fixed on the floor, his soft voice hiding his consternation at receiving such an order.

"You will not, you will only space your visits. I'm sure you already have enough information and samples to continue your research from here. You can work with Remus; he can help you".

"I can't do that to her, Albus. Not now, please..."

"Now? Has something happened recently that I should find out about, Severus?"

Severus looked up at Dumbledore, suddenly noticing how old the Headmaster had become, how exhausted his wrinkled face looked; he had always judged Albus Dumbledore to be the most powerful wizard of all time, magnanimous and just, but this time, he could see beyond the bright blue eyes, he could see the man, weak and old that he had become, he could see the suspicion in his gaze, the resentment at hearing his refusal to the order given. In the end, Albus had never fully trusted him. He wouldn't fully trust Albus either.

"No". - Severus answered lowering his head again. - "Nothing has happened."

"You have always been an exceptionally good liar, Severus. Since your first year at Hogwarts, always hiding feelings, bruises..." - Dumbledore stopped when he noticed the slight shudder in the professor's body - "So I'll pretend to believe you. If there is nothing more to add, you can return to your rooms, surely tonight you can get a good night's sleep. Good evening".

Now in his room and feeling a certain childish satisfaction in rebelling against Dumbledore's orders, Severus decided to have another one of his sleepless nights, immersing himself in his musings and memories. The light from the narrow windows made his sallow face look ugly, giving his skin a sickly hue. He did feel sick, tired, fed up. Fed up with living his life as a mere shadow: Dumbledore, the Dark Lord, Lily. His life had gone by in protecting and assisting those people who took him for granted, who expected everything from him, who had hurt him in one way or another. And then there was her: Laurel.

He let his back slide down the headboard until his head rested on the pillow, his breath rising in mist, but Severus made no attempt to cover himself with the sheets, just thinking of her, of her soft lips, of the contact of her mouth against his neck, made him feel a fire running through his body. He closed his eyes and completely freed his mind from the chains of occlumency; all Laurel's memories spilled out like an uncontrollable waterfall of visions, laughter, scents, tears, and sweetness.

He thought of the warmth of her kisses, of her exquisite mouth, and that memory mingled with that episode of Laurel unbuttoning his coat; he imagined her deft hands completely shedding his clothes, her warm breath drawing closer to his crotch and the soft touch of her tongue sliding over his eager member. Severus' hands went to his trousers, opening them and releasing his erected cock. He remembered the tone of her golden skin, the curve of her spine and promised himself that he would kiss and savour her entire body until he made her scream with pleasure. Those red lips would only repeat his name, over and over as he thrust into her, hungry for her, for her intoxicating scent of mulled wine, until finally they came together and then he would never feel cold again, because he would spend every night with Laurel.

He opened his eyes when his orgasm had finally dissipated, leaving him with a feeling of emptiness, of heartbreak at finding reality again, alone in his room in the dungeons, with the damp cold digging into his bones. He took the wand from the nightstand and clean himself quickly, turning in bed, wrapping himself in the sheets and letting his thoughts fly back to the woman who had planted in him the illusion of a better life, a life where he did not have to stay in the shadows.

"I love you, Severus"

He was no longer alone, someone loved him, someone loved him despite his appearance and character, someone who knew how to soften his frozen heart. He wondered what Laurel was doing at that moment, he imagined her asleep, dreaming, perhaps of him, perhaps of her family. And even though he had originally wanted to refuse to fully comply with Dumbledore's order, it was impossible for him to resist the heaviness in his eyelids.

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Severus couldn't believe he was back in that Cokeworth playground. Everything was the same as he last saw it more than twenty years ago. The sun, a red giant in the sky, was setting. A familiar laugh made him turn around. There, rocking on the swings was Lily. A Lily identical to the one he had first seen when he was ten years old. Her long red hair danced in the breeze. She looked at him and laughed and swung higher. He tried to go to her, but he was unable to run fast enough, with every step he took he tripped over the overgrown grass. He fell flat on his face a couple of times, bruising his hands against the rough earth, but still, he didn't give up on his attempts. He stood up in despair and yelled at the girl to wait for him:

"Do you remember me, Lily? Do you remember me?"

But Lily was just laughing, swinging higher, higher, and then she jumped. The silent breeze seemed to carry her away, floating on the wind, farther and farther, higher and higher and Severus let out a cry mixed with tears, but he was unable to hear his own voice, he could only feel the hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

He kept his eyes on Lily; the girl had gotten so far away that she was barely a speck in the sky, but Severus didn't look away, didn't even blink. He was afraid of losing sight of her and he stayed that way, until the sun had completely set, and he was no longer able to make out her figure in the dark sky.

The same breeze that had snatched her away suddenly returned, flapping his cloak, drying his tears, and then he heard the heartrending screams.

"Murderer!"

Severus looked around and realized that everything around him had changed. He was now on the hilltop where he had begged Dumbledore to protect Lily. The naked trees rustled in the breeze, bringing with it that familiar voice.

"Murderer! Murderer!"

Laurel was standing among the trees, her wet eyes staring at him in horror. Her lips trembled with fear. Fear of him.

"No... I tried to protect her, I tried to stop it!"

He screamed until his throat ached, but still he continued to scream, because it didn't hurt as much as the pain in his heart.

He drew his strength and ran towards her, the shrub and bushes were quick to catch him, but at that point, Severus was determined not to stop. He pulled with all his might, hurting himself, scratching his legs, bruising his feet, but nothing mattered to him. He was about to reach her when Laurel turned her back on him, walking away; but he wasn't going to allow it. Stretching his arm, he took her by her wrist and pulled her towards him, wrapping her in his arms, in his long black cloak, the two merging in the complete darkness of that forlorn hilltop.

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Like every morning, Severus woke up at the same time, his body, after fifteen years as a teacher at Hogwarts, had adapted to the rhythm of school schedules. However, that Sunday, it was not necessary for him to be that early at the Great Hall. He could spend some more time in bed, loosing himself once more in the events of the day before.

The idea was formed that Laurel might be mad at him. After all, he had left her alone after confessing that she loved him. He didn't have a lot of experience when it came to how the female mind or relationships worked, but it was understandable if she was upset with him. He felt a lump in his throat when he thought of her angry face when he saw him again and worried, he reviewed in his mind the little he knew about courting a woman: dating, chocolates, flirting, but all that he had always found cheesy and ridiculous. He felt that his relationship with Laurel had developed so perfectly naturally that it almost seemed inevitable. As inevitable as the passage of time, when he realized that he was starting to get late. He quickly got out of bed.

"Good morning to you Severus! What a charming surprise seeing you here!"

"Glad to see you too, Pomona".

The Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was sitting at the High Table, a cup of black coffee and a plate of untouched porridge in front of him. Severus kept a folded copy of the Daily Prophet in one hand, but it was not the paper he was scanning. He had noticed with certain concern that Draco Malfoy was nowhere to be seen.

Students were allowed to visit Hogsmeade that day, and high spirits for the upcoming Christmas break were through the roof. Severus had no desire to find himself in the midst of that jovial hubbub, especially when he could have taken advantage of that day off to be with Laurel.

"So how is the project going?" – Asked Professor Sprout, moving her chair closer to Severus. – "Albus has said St. Mungo's is very interested in that research paper you are doing".

"It is going well." – Severus turned his eyes to the smiling woman. – "It is a pity I cannot share more with you, Pomona, but..."

"It is top secret!" - Professor Flitwick jumped into the conversation, his chair levitating swiftly, stopping right next to Professor Snape who suddenly felt trapped between the two curious teachers. – "Though, if you would ever need any assistance with charms theory, do not hesitate to ask for it, I would be happy..."

"Or herbology!" – Interrupted Sprout. – "Plants are the cure for everything, Severus, as you surely know being your long experience as a potion master. I am sure, a place like St. Mungo would appreciate..."

"Thank you". – Said Severus, making the move to stand up. – "Thank you really, Filius, Pomona; but I can't really share what my research is about".

"Oh, you don't have to, dear!" – Exclaimed Sprout, putting a hand on his shoulder and pushing him down to his chair. – "We are just wondering where you have been going all these days, you and the headmaster".

"Dumbledore?" – Asked Severus, raising an eyebrow. – "Has he been leaving Hogwarts?"

"Almost as frequently as you. We thought you might be attending meetings together".

"No... I don't really know... Have you asked Minerva?"

"Oh, poor Minerva is enraged! Being the Deputy Headmistress, you may think Dumbledore would inform her what is going on, but she is in the dark, like the rest of us".

"And where is she now?"

"I think she is imposing a detention; the Malfoy boy is about to fail her subject." - Flitwick said thoughtfully. - "And the boy has missed many of my classes too. You have neglected your wards, Severus... I suspect you hope to leave us soon. Has St. Mungo's offered you a job? A young, brilliant wizard like you, surely you could..."

"You are right, Filius. I have been careless lately. I will do my best to remedy the situation. Now if you can excuse me, I have to go back to my duties".

Both Heads of House watched the flowing black robes disappear through the door that led to the dungeons, both looked at each other with suspicious faces.

"I bet you ten galleons it has something to do with You-Know-Who".

"Knowing he is an ex-Death Eater it would not surprise me". – Answered Professor Flitwick while sipping his tea.

"There are no ex-Death Eaters Filius. Only dead ones".

"Albus trust him, Pomona. I just hope, there are no frictions among the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix".

"Who knows? Snape does look a bit different lately, a bit anxious".

"Who wouldn't? I definitely would not like to be in his shoes, occupying the jinxed position and everything".

"There is something else, something in his eyes I have not seen before".

"Well, now you are legilimens, Pomona?"

Professor Sprout rolled her eyes at Professor Flitwick while she grabbed a muffin from the platter next to them.

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Severus paced from one end to the other in his office. He had tried to talk to Dumbledore, he had gone to the headmaster's office only to find the news that he had left earlier that morning. He could not understand why Dumbledore had not informed him about those mysterious outings, he had also refused to tell him what those "private lessons" with Potter were about; even, he had accepted his refusal not to discuss the subject of the ring further. Anger began to build up in his body, Dumbledore did not consider him trustworthy and even so, he expected complete loyalty from him.

"I've had enough". - He whispered to himself, while searching for his leather satchel, getting ready to leave his office, to leave Hogwarts.

But as soon as he opened the door, he found the pasty face of Filch, the caretaker, who seemed to have come running to his office and was holding in his hand a package wrapped with a scarf.

"Professor!" - He wheezed. - "Professor McGonagall has sent me to take this to you! She has said not to touch it for any reason!"

Severus stared at the damaged package; among the torn paper the brilliant green opals of an ornate necklace could be seen. He recognized it right away, the cursed necklace that had killed at least nineteen Muggles, until recently displayed for sale at Borgin and Burkes.

"Draco" - Narcissa's voice echoed in his mind.

"Has anyone been affected?" - He asked as he levitated the necklace with his wand, examining it closely, feeling the force of powerful dark magic radiating from the beautiful opals.

"A Gryffindor girl. She was in Hogsmeade when it happened."

"Is she still alive?"

"So it seems, Professor. Hagrid has taken her to the infirmary".

"I think the poor girl will need much more than the attention that Madam Pomfrey can offer her." - Severus said, taking the necklace to his office and keeping it in a safe place under lock and key.

He took a few concoctions that he knew would be useful in such a serious case and hurried out of his office straight to the infirmary.

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Professors Sprout, Flitwick and McGonagall, together with Madam Pomfrey were staring at Professor Snape, hunched down over Katie Bell's bed. He was performing a highly complex counter-curse, a difficult spell in an ancient, forgotten language, his wand sliding through her body, picking up small quantities of a dark, viscous substance and depositing them inside a potion from which a grey smoke arose, neutralizing the remains of the fatal curse that Katie was lucky to survive to.

"It is a miracle she is still alive". – Said Flitwick, examining the hole in the glove of the girl, the cause of Katie's close encounter with death.

"The question is who was the intended target". – Said Sprout. – "Certainly, it wasn't the girl".

"We are still not sure, Pomona." – McGonagall eyed at Severus' thin figure. – "But be sure, we will find whoever did this to my student".

Severus stayed with the unconscious girl until dusk, when he was sure, no remains of the curse were left in her body and her parents came to accompany her to St. Mungo's. He was exhausted, he drained himself of energy by focusing all his magic into the dark counter-curse. This was one of the reasons Dark Magic had such a bad reputation among the wizarding world. Dark magic required sacrifice, depletion, hatred and anger, emotions most frowned upon. But not him. Severus understood that the best way to fight Dark magic was with Dark magic itself.

He sat on the bed that had been occupied earlier by Katie, tempted to simply flop down and close his eyes. He felt the heartburn from lack of food, but he ignored it, deciding to simply put his face in his hands and keep it there. In his mind he began to shuffle the different hypotheses of how the necklace had fallen into the girl's hands. He was sure it had been Draco, but he had no proof of it at the time. It had definitely been a stupid plan to try and send that necklace to Dumbledore, it would never have worked.

Severus took a deep breath, thinking about what might have happened to the girl if he had left Hogwarts as he had wanted. She may have died in a matter of hours, or she probably would never be able to regain consciousness. For an instant, images of Laurel lying dead or in a vegetative state flickered in front of him, like headache-inducing flashes.

"She will be fine. She is stronger than you think".

He was surprised to find that he was not alone. He lowered his hands to the bridge of his nose, his eyes peering over the pyramid they formed. Professor Sprout was in front of him, looking at him worriedly. Severus felt a sudden heat on his cheeks.

"How do you know...?" - But then he realized that Pomona was referring to Katie Bell and let out a tight sigh. - "Yes, I have done everything possible, Miss Bell will get better."

"Severus, we've known each other for fifteen years and lately I've noticed that you seem to be carrying a huge weight on your shoulders. Is there anything I can help you with? "

"No, I don't ..." - but he stopped mid-sentence. Actually, there was something Pomona could help him with. - "To tell the truth, I was wondering if you would have a laurel tree in the greenhouses?"

"Laurel?" - Sprout wondered surprised. - "Why of course! You well know the qualities of the tree for magic. Do you need it to make a potion? "

"Rather, for a gift."