I proceeded onto a random city street, the cold damp air hitting me sharply. I tightened the scarf around my neck burying a great part of my face into it as I blinked several times in order not to ruin my eyes with the strong wind.

The city was not that bad in the morning: the pale sunlight reflected on the buildings as every single plant looked soft and fragile, covered in dew. Everything was so peaceful. That's why I would always go out early: at that time of the day, there were no cars, no people. There were only me, nature and silence.

I decided to stop at the park before going to work. I sighed heavily as I plopped myself on the nearest bench, then rubbed my hands together to get as warm as possible. The atmosphere at the park was even more calming. However, I had still woken up on the wrong side of the bed; I felt incredibly nervous. I took the millionth cigarette out of my hoodie pocket and shoved it quickly in my mouth, as if I didn't want to get caught by anyone. As soon as I sensed nicotine penetrate my lungs I felt more alive. While I was letting the smoke out, I watched it spread in the air and take the same colour as the glassy sky.

"Come on," I groaned under my breath when I realized my head was still pounding. It was weird: I rarely had such strong headaches, and it happened every time I drank. But I hadn't even drunk that much. Anyway, there were more important things to think about. Like, for example, what to do with my mother.

"Nothing. It's simple," I told myself: I had always been patient with people; but she had literally made me give up on her. What she had done was unforgettable. I sure wouldn't be back to her soon.

"No," I shook my head "let's concentrate on happier stuff... like Erwin."

Oh, Erwin. What a hell of a guy he was. Good looking, smart, caring, and the funniest dude I had ever met. When I started working with him he was the first one to introduce me to the other employees. Such a sweet and welcoming boy. Everyone could see that I was in love with him. I actually hadn't told anyone, but apparently it was crystal clear. I am usually not a sentimental or emotional person. But every time he surrounded my shoulders with his big, muscled arms... it felt like home. And I would immediately blush crimson red, especially on top of my ears. So yes, it was noticeable. He probably was the only one who hadn't noticed that yet, or maybe he had just ignored it for all this time. But that message from the previous night... strangely, he wasn't at ease. If this time it had been so hard for him to invite me to a stupid lunch... it means he had to tell me something important.

Oh, stop fantasizing, Levi. It's pathetic.

While I was getting lost in my frivolous thoughts, one hour passed quickly; and it was soon time to go to work.

"Ah, that's why you weren't home this morning," I muttered, raising and eyebrow at the sight of Historia sitting beside another girl, both of them tasting a huge coffee.

"Levi, good morning!" Historia exclaimed showing a big, shiny smile "I'm sorry I got out before you woke up. You see, we were-"

"Oi, where's Mr. Big Eyebrows?" the other girl interrupted her, looking slightly annoyed.

"You mean Erwin?" I replied in confusion.

She bursted out laughing loudly, smoothing her dark ponytail: "Of course it's Erwin! Dude, have you ever seen anyone else with such big eyebrows?"

Historia sniggered but immediately got herself together as I rolled my eyes: "C'mon, they're not that big..."

"Yeah, right!" the petite blonde girl agreed, a slight smile still visible on her face "Stop making fun of people, Ymir!"

The older one was speechless: "I... come on, I was just kidding!"

"Okay, I'll leave you to your fight. Anyway, haven't seen him. He said he's going in late."

I waved at the two girls and went to my room, closing the door not to hear the noise they were were making.

"Fuck... so much paperwork to do," I complained as soon as I found a pile of papers on my table. I started my work melancholically, the taste of the smoke still in my mouth.

My room was very badly kept: there was a huge wooden library that covered a whole wall, but it looked like the wood would crumble sooner or later since it was too old and its quality was poor. Sometimes you could even hear some small noises coming from it because of all the termites eating the wood. The desk was old as well, judging from the multiple signs and scratches left on its surface; some were made by pocketknives, others from pens or scissors. How could someone actually treat a desk this terribly? I felt disgusted every time I asked myself that question.

It was always stuffy in there, the smell of mold never going away. I had tried to clean up as much as I could, but there was no way to make it look and smell better than that. I had also considered to buy some new furniture, but I didn't have enough money.

It was even worse to stay at the office without Erwin; it was boring, deathly. Already fed up with my activity, I was about to let the sleep sink in when Historia's friend slammed the door open, making me jump on my chair: "HEY, SHORTIE! If you dare get close to Histor- oh... you were sleeping."

"It's okay. I shouldn't be sleeping," I turned to her rubbing my temples; it hurt a lot.

"Wow, mate. You look awful. Do you need something, like... some aspirin or stuff like that?"

"I'm sure I'll feel better in a hour or so," I smiled whole-heartedly "but thank you... what's you name again? Ymir?"

"Yes," she shrugged, her eyes narrowed "And you're Levi, right?"

"Right. Are you new here?"

"No, I just changed unit."

"Well... welcome to our unit, then," I mumbled, indifferent "Anyway, what were you saying when you came in?"

"Oh. Never mind," she backed out "just... keep doing your work. Do you want me to leave the door open?"

"Um... yeah."

Ymir kept examining me for a while, then shook her head repeatedly before walking away. I turned my head back towards the papers, perplexed. Did I look so bad to get people's sympathy? Slowly getting up, I subsequently rushed towards the mirror hanging on the wall.

"Oh, boy," I commented watching my face reflected on the glass "I look like shit for real. I should start going to bed at a decent time."

I used a finger to trace the deep bags under my eyes.

"Damn, I really suck."

That was my last statement before I sat back on my chair, puffing once again.

"Come on, Levi. Concentrate, you have to concentrate. This is the only way to earn some money, you have to fulfill your duties."

---

"What a good sensation. It's so relaxing. It feels like... a hand? Someone is stroking my hair?"

I snapped out of my half-sleep state as I felt fingertips lay gently on my head and intertwine with my hair.

"Hm... what the...?" I slurred, dazed. I lazily dragged my gaze from that hand to the face of the person next to me.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," a familiar voice rumbled through my head. Only a few seconds passed before I realized who that voice belonged to. I jumped again, this time a lot more than the first time, seeing Erwin's high figure standing there.

"E- Erwin!! I- I... how long have I been out?" I stuttered, quickly composing myself on the chair.

"Oh, I have no idea. I've just arrived," he smiled sweetly.

"Crap... I'm sorry, I had all this paperwork to sign and I dozed off twice," my words came out quiet because of my guilt.

Erwin just looked at me for a while before chuckling: "It's okay, buddy. You know..."

He leaned towards me to whisper in my ear, causing me to shiver unconsciously: "I always fall asleep while I'm signing my paperwork, so I feel you. But don't tell anyone, 'kay?"

"Oh. Well, that somehow makes me feel better," was the only thing I could say as Erwin nodded in approval.

"So... I heard your message on the voicemail this morning," I started awkwardly.

"Um...? Oh, yeah..." he tried his best to seem nonchalant faking a cough. He was adorable.

"Why not?" I shrugged; his whole body suddenly relaxed as if he had freed himself from a heavy brick. He almost made me jump again as soon as he grasped my shoulders with both his hands, in complete excitement: "The food's gonna be great, I promise!"

"Okay...? That's fine, I guess" I smiled, a little weirded out by his enthusiasm, as I lifted his hands off my shoulders.

"Well, try to fix up your mess within lunchtime," he stroked my hair again before getting out of my room "See ya, sleeping beauty!"

I grunted annoyed, adjusting my fringe, and started doing my usual work, fantasizing again, picturing the best scenario of a lunch with Erwin. Him holding my hand, as I keep staring into his ocean blue eyes. It would be a dream.

[author's note]

oh boooooi this sucks .-.

anyway, hELLO EVERYONE! for those ones who don't know me, i'm marty and i decided to write this book after the success i got from my peterick fanfiction called w e a k n e s s (mhh cheeky self-promo)

and i'm italian so yeah please forgive me if my writing is terrible or wrong at some parts

i hope you're liking this book so far and please don't forget to comment and vote :)) also any kind of advice is very very welcome

see yaaa

-marty