[TAILS]

"Arrrggghhh!!"

I unlocked my door, tears still running down my cheeks. Stepping into my house I slammed the door behind me and fell against it. I slid down leaning on my back until I was in a crouching position on the floor. I was out of breath from running from Sonic's house to mine whilst crying at the same time. There I sat for what seemed like hours sobbing into my palms.

I couldn't shake the image of Sonic and Shadow together.

It hurt so bad. I never could have imagined that this would ever be a thing!

Sonic was mine, well at least I wished he was. I always imagined us ending up together. It had always been us against the world. I didn't want anyone to ruin this.

My feelings for him had developed over time. When we first made friends he was like a big brother to me. We were still kids. But as soon as I hit adulthood I started noticing him in a different way. I used to look up to him for his coolness and physical agility, but eventually I started to find it attractive. Like when he hugs me, it used to be comforting, now I feel lust, a longing to be closer and intimate with him. It has started to become an obsession. The longer that I don't have his body, the more I want it. And now Shadow  has got in the way of that...

I slammed my fist down on the ground. Why did this have to happen? There is no worse feeling than seeing the one you love with someone else. It burns. My whole body was still in shock.

I felt so ugly and stupid. Why do I have to be me? What's wrong with me? I'll never have anybody love me. If I can't have Sonic I don't want anyone. I'll be alone for the rest of my life...

The thought made my stomach turn inside out. I was going to throw up.

I ran upstairs to my bathroom and vomited out a bit of water and bile.

Uggghhh I feel like crap!

I curled up on the cold bathroom tiles for a while and sobbed some more into my knees.

Then I remembered the video footage...

Well I'd better get rid of that.

With the little energy I had left I pulled myself off the floor and walked to my spare room. Opening my laptop I answered all of the security questions and opened up the spy cam software.

What was I thinking when I did this?

I guess it's dangerous to suppress things sometimes - it creates obsessive behaviour.

I should have just told Sonic how I felt.

I knew the footage had to go. Maybe I could pretend that it never existed and I didn't do something so creepy. No one will ever need to know... I know it's wrong to keep secrets from your friends and those you love, but I don't really feel like anyone would benefit from me coming clean about this...

I opened up the video. A stab of pain hit me as I saw his beautiful body that I could never have.

My heart was filled with grief as I got ready to delete the file. It felt like I was breaking up with Sonic, even though we were never truly together.

Maybe I'll just watch it one more time, to say goodbye...

I clicked play and stared at the blue hedgehog on my screen. It just made me feel weird and sad. I let a few more tears fall and whimpered quietly.

Oh Sonic I love you so much...

"TAILS?!"

My heart stopped as the sound of Sonic's voice made me jump out of my skin and I fell backwards off my seat.

"Aaaaahhh!!!"

SHIT! I left the door unlocked he must have just walked in!

"Tails... Errr.... What the fuck is this?!"

Jumping up as quickly as I could, I stood in front of the laptop to block his view.

Oh chaos, what on Mobius do I say?

My face was white with shock and all I could do was stare at him. He walked over to me and shoved me out the way to get a good view of what was on the screen. He stood there looking at it for what seemed like an eternity and then turned his gaze upon me. I'd never seen him look like this before; his face was twisted in a combination of anger, confusion and disgust. His eyes were wide and his pupils were shaking. In fact his whole body was shaking.

"You... you filmed me? What are you a pervert or something? Please tell me you have a good explanation for this!"

I turned bright red and looked at the floor. My heart was beating out my chest with fear and shame. There was nothing I could say to make this better.

"Tails! Say something!" Sonic wailed, clenching his fist.

I looked up at him and more tears started pouring from my eyes.

"Sonic I... I love you!" I said in despair.

"WHAT?!" Sonic's expression said it all. He didn't have a clue how I felt. He doesn't love me back. It's probably never even crossed his mind. He put his hand on his head and took a few steps backwards. He looked like he was going to faint.

"Sonic..." I took a step towards him.

"I can't deal with this right now," he said to me and turned around to leave.

"Sonic wait!"

"Nah Tails, this is fucked up! I don't know what you're trying to do here but you'd better get rid of that video, ASAP!" His voice was shaking as he shouted at me.

With that he stumbled down the stairs and ran out my front door.

I dropped to the floor. It felt like my reality was closing in on itself, burying me in a deep, dark hole.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse!

My life is officially over.

[SONIC]

Whaattt the fuuuck just happened...?! What in chaos name is going on right now?!

As I ran from Tails' house I felt myself get more and more light headed.

What did I just see?

I needed to run. Very fast and very far. I picked up speed and headed to my safe place, the beach, that stretched out between Tails' house and mine. The sun was setting over the sea casting a deep purple glow into the atmosphere, and the sound of the waves could be heard, crashing together in the distance.

I ran for miles up and down the beach in an attempt to help process what I had just laid eyes upon.

Tails filmed me? But why? There's no logical explanation for this! Unless it was a mistake... Maybe he did it by accident? But he didn't try to defend himself! In fact no, he said... he said 'I love you...' What does he mean?! He can't possibly...

My body filled with dread as the pieces slowly started fitting together. The way he's been getting more shy around me lately. Him asking me about love, getting all embarrassed and not telling me who he was crushing on. His reaction when he saw me and Shadow together.

Tails has feelings for me. This is not good.

But that footage? That just doesn't add up. Tails isn't a creep. Is he?!

My little buddy, where have you gone?

How could I have been blind to this?

How could I not even know my own best friend?

Tears started welling up in my eyes. Try as I might, I couldn't force myself to be positive this time. Everything was falling apart and getting worse. I wished I had someone to talk to.

What is happening to our crew at the moment? We used to be so tight. Now so much shit is going down!

I thought about why there was suddenly so much drama between us all.

It's almost like without Eggman as a distraction, we all have time to face all the parts of ourselves that we were hiding. Has all of this really been bottled up inside of us?

My thoughts drifted to Shadow. With another wave of I pain I remembered how I had lost him too.

Slowing down to a jog and then a walking pace, I panted heavily and looked out to the sun. It had nearly disappeared over the horizon and I was almost standing in darkness under the deep purple sky. A cool breeze ruffled through my quills. I let it blow away some of my anxiety as I inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to catch my breath.

My heart ached. I longed to be free like the wind. Free from feelings and emotions and thoughts. Free from having responsibility for myself and others.

Free from the burdens of existence.