[AMY]

Ohh man, ooohhhh man this is bad!! What have I done?

My temper landing me in trouble again! I just can't control myself sometimes! But this time... I've gone and done it!

It's like two people living inside of me! One minute I'm kind and loving, the next I'm triggered and want to destroy anything that gets in my way.

I always do something I regret.

What is this part of me that flips like a switch? Anger and jealousy that doesn't go away until I destroy something, and then is immediately replaced with deep sorrow and regret.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still furious with Rouge for going on a date with Sonic, she's knows I love him! But now I've calmed down I wish I didn't set fire to her house!

Oh chaos, I've really messed up this time!! What am I going to do?

I wish I could find Sonic. He always has the best advice. Dammit Sonic where are you?!

For the last couple of hours I had been hiding in my bedroom, crying, feeling guilty and riding the waves of my emotions.

I'm finding it really hard to cope with my feelings at the moment, but nobody understands. I enter self-destruct mode and end up pushing people away. But that's the very thing I fear the most.

I'm not a bad person, I'm just in pain and suffering. I struggle with my self-image, I worry that nobody likes me, and I'm so scared that Sonic will leave me! If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I'd choose Sonic!

I'm desperate for a normal life, but why would anybody want me? I try to hide my insecurities by trying to act all confident, but that doesn't always work for me.

I flopped down on my bed, exhausted, and cried some more into my soft, pink sheets.

Eventually, I looked up and noticed my pack of tarot cards on my bedside table. Wiping my tears away, I grabbed them and felt some comfort in that they might be able to give me some guidance.

I opened the box and took out the deck of mysterious cards, each decorated with geometric patters on the back. With my hand clenched into a fist I gave the top of the pack one hard knock with my knuckles to clear their energy. Afterwards I shuffled them until I felt that they were ready.

I spread the cards into a fan shape and chose the first three that stood out.

One by one, I put them face down. The first one to symbolise the past, the second one to symbolise the present, and the third symbolises the future.

I nervously turned over the first card.

Past: 'The Fool'

Great. Very funny Universe! Well it makes sense I suppose. To me, the Fool card symbolised the beginning of a journey, balancing risk and potential. Huh! So I guess this could mean that what I've just done is going to set me on a new path! Well I hope so! Please let it be a good one...

With a little more optimism I flipped the second card over.

Present: 'The Tower'

Oh crap!! Not the Tower! This could be bad. My meaning for the Tower card represented imminent or present danger, upheaval and unexpected change. It gave me the chills. Is something bad going to happen to me? Or my friends? This means things about to change in a big way.

I'd better flip the third card.

Future: 'The Magician'

Well this may be a good sign. The Magician card for me symbolised healing, manifestation and connection to the source of creation. Well at least whatever is happening right now, it seems it will turn good in the end. That is, if we get through the hard times...

Although I was still filled with anxiety, I felt a bit better. At least the cards got me into the present moment and out of my head for a bit. Which reminds me I still need to find Sonic.

Maybe I'll just check his house one more time.

[SONIC]

Trying to fight the extreme fatigue that was taking over me, I jogged up and down on the spot for a bit. I didn't want to rest. I needed to go figure out what was wrong with Tails, check up on Rouge, calm down Amy and... talk to Shadow.

My heart lurched nervously at the thought of seeing him again, but my stomach twisted into a tight knot at the thought of not seeing him again. I don't think he'll want to talk to me. Not yet, but I have to try.

My head felt foggy and I was getting light headed but I fought through it by keeping my body moving and tidying the mess in the kitchen. Our mess.

I still had Shadow's smell all over my body. It broke my heart. I wished I could go back to that moment when we shared our first kiss. He was still flooding through my body. I could still feel everywhere where he had kissed, bitten, pulled and pushed me around. My body was tender from our lovemaking. It should have made me happy but instead I felt broken that I had been too embarrassed to admit my true feelings.

When the kitchen was in an acceptable condition I decided to head upstairs to have a cold shower. I had to get Shadow off my mind.

The icy water seemed to do the trick. The discomfort of being under cold water felt almost like an exorcism. I managed to shake off most of the fatigue and a lot of mental negativity, although I still felt unhappy and at a loss of what to do.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by a loud knocking on the door. Who is this now? Could it be Shadow? Nah he's probably just Chaos Control here. But I gotta see!

I raced down the stairs and opened the door.

"Amy!"

"Oh Sonic! There you are!! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Amy threw her arms around me and squeezed until I couldn't breathe. I was glad that I got that shower in.

"Amy, what's this I hear abo-" I pushed her off and tried to question her about the fire, but she interrupted.

"Now I know all about what you and Rouge have been up to and I want you to know it really hurt me. I think I can forgive you, but only if you promise to take me on a date next!"

"Amy, I think we need to talk. Can you come inside for a sec?" I took her by the wrist, pulled her to my lounge and signalled to her to sit down on one of my favourite blue couches.

"Oh err, sure Sonic. What about?" Her facial expression turned serious.

"Now look," I said softly, sitting down next to her. "Tails came over. He said that you set fire to Rouge's apartment, is that correct?"

Amy's eyes widened and filled with tears. She put her head in her hands and started bawling. For once it didn't seem like she was putting it on. She was really upset. I felt a bit sorry for her but I had to get to the bottom of this.

"Sonic you disappeared for days! And turned off your communicator! And then Blaze tells me you're with Rouge! You don't really like her do you? I just wanted to teach her a lesson but I went too far! I regret it so much Sonic, oh how am I going to put this right?!"

"Wow, wow. Now first let me get this straight," I started to explain. I was with Rouge, but I was also with Knuckles and Shadow. It's a long story but Shadow needed our help so we went to rescue him."

Something wasn't sitting right. Why did Blaze tell Amy that?

"So you weren't hooking up with Rouge?" Amy said between sobs.

"No! That's crazy!!"

"Ooohhhh chaos, what have I done?" Amy cried even more and tried to put her head on my shoulder. I kept my distance but patted her back. That was about all the compassion I could manage with her under the stress of everything right now.

"Chaos Amy, I knew you were feisty but I didn't know you had this much of a fiery streak!" I half chuckled at her. 

"Now look, you can make this right." I continued. "All you have to do is go to Rouge and tell her the truth. Tell her what you heard, how you felt and why you reacted the way you did. Trust me, the truth fixes everything. We all fuck up sometimes but what determines our strength of character is realising when we've fucked up, taking responsibility for what we've done and learning from our mistakes. Remember, there's not a problem that can't be fixed!"

Amy stopped crying and looked up at me.

"Plus Rouge is very understanding, I bet you'll be surprised," I added. "Either that or she'll destroy you good and proper!" We both laughed, despite the severity of the situation.

"I don't see how she could forgive me for this but I'll try," Amy said sadly. "Oh thank you Sonic you always know what to do!" Amy pulled me in for a hug. She then tried to go in for a kiss.

"Whoa! Ames, what are you doing?" I shot backwards and lost my balance, nearly falling backwards off the couch.

"Don't you want to Sonic?"

The truth is I didn't want to. At all. I wanted him...

"I've err, just got a lot on my mind, that's all," I replied, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Oh ok. Well how about I come back a bit later then? I can bring snacks and a movie?"

"Actually, I've err, gotta go see Tails. Yeah, pretty urgently. In fact I'm probably gonna head there now!" I stood up and started walking towards the door.

"Well how about I walk you to Tails' house then?"

"Look, not this time," I said, grabbing Amy's hand and pushing her towards the door. "Make sure you go talk to Rouge! Let me know how it goes!"

Amy stepped outside looking disappointed. She turned around to face me.

"Ok Sonic I will. But can we please hang out soon?"

"Sure! I'll catch ya around Amy!" I smiled cheerfully and tried to shut the door.

"Hey wait, what's that on your neck?"

Shit! Amy had spotted the bite mark Shadow had left on me.

"Bye Amy!!" I slammed the door and breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully she wouldn't work that one out.

What a day!

Well at least that's one less person I need to go see now.

The next thing I had to figure out is who do I go see next? Do I follow my head and go see my best friend Tails, or do I follow my heart and go to Shadow...