Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. – JK Rowling

I had a father.

He was murdered when I was in Kindergarten. He was a police officer and died in the line of duty—some druggy scumbag shot him.

He was the best man I'd ever known.

I. Had. A. Father.

This man in front of me was not my father. But he kept saying he was.

The ice-cold feeling that started in my core spread to my limbs.

"I know I can't make up for the past twenty years, but I want to do what I can. Once I learned you both were moving here, I began making arrangements for you. This hotel, the apartment you'll move to next week, and a bank account."

He pulled a blue credit card from his pocket and placed it in my hand. My name was printed on the front. Kate Green.

"There's ten thousand dollars in the account to get you started. I'm also going to pay off your student loans and pay for college so you can continue your education. Anything you need, let me know."

I tried to raise my hand and stop his talking, but I was frozen. Unable to move, I closed my eyes to block out any new information. This was all too much. I couldn't handle any more.

It worked. He stopped talking.

When I opened my eyes, he was standing. His eyes drilled into mine. "I'll go now. Come by tomorrow for dinner to meet your sisters."

My heart stopped.

Carly walked him to the door, and they embraced with mumbled words.

Then he was gone. As if he had not just shattered my world into unrecognizable pieces.

After several moments, I regained some function of my limbs and could move. I wanted a drink but thought better of it. If I had a glass in my hand, I would throw it at Carly's head. I couldn't even think of her as my mother.

The anger that boiled around in my body was at odds with the icy feeling that was still present throughout. I was restless but stunned into motionlessness. I wanted to scream but was choked into silence. Everything inside me was at odds. An internal war, both physically and mentally.

Carly stood by the door staring at me. "I'm going to go... I have to check out the apartment Connor set up. I—We'll talk later?"

I just stared at her.

"Wow." She had a trill, nervous laugh, that belied the excitement she was pretending at. "He gave you ten thousand dollars. Go spend it. Have fun. There's plenty more where that came from, and he owes you." She turned and walked out the door, leaving me alone.

I didn't want to have that conversation later with her—I needed to leave.

Still unsure of my ability to talk, I picked up my phone in a shaky grip and texted Lexi.

I'll go out tonight. I need a new outfit. Can you come get me?

***

Several hours later, we'd returned from shopping and were taking shots of Tequila in Lexi's apartment. She lived within walking distance to UCLA campus, in a small two-bedroom apartment. Her living room had two couches and a TV, with different jeweled color liquor bottles placed on bare surfaces as decoration.

After our third shot, she questioned me, "So what the fuck is going on? I mean, I appreciate this new wild side, but you just spent a shitload of money on yourself, you're taking shots, and you're not acting like you. You haven't even smiled or laughed once."

With the shots loosening my lips and numbing my reserve, I decided to just be honest. Besides this was Lexi, the one person on earth I could open up to. "When I got back to the hotel, a man was there. He said he's my father. And he gave me a bunch of money." There. I think that about covered the important facts.

Lexi's mouth dropped open. She sat silent for a moment before interrogating me. "Shit. Who is he? Does he have other kids? What about your other dad?"

I cringed at the mention of my "other" dad. I didn't like that term. He was my dad. This man, Connor, was the "other."

"I don't know anything. We're supposed to have dinner tomorrow. He mentioned sisters... but I froze. And then Carly left right after he did to avoid explaining." I turned to Lexi, letting her see the desperation in my eyes as I pleaded, "I just want to forget everything. If I think about what all this means, I start freaking out. Like full blown panic attack. Everything Carly's told me is a lie, and I don't know what's up anymore. Tonight, I don't want to be me. I'm just someone with money to spend."

Lex nodded as she let what I said sink in. Then she smiled. "Let's drink to that." She poured two more shots. "To forgetting and spending money. I can help you with that."

After we chased the shots with a lime, Lexi pulled me off the couch. "Let's go get ready; the boys will be here shortly."

***

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize the woman staring back. Lexi had straightened my black hair to sleek perfection. It hung in a curtain down to the small of my back. I was wearing a tight, black, strapless, mini dress and fire engine red lipstick that matched my heels. Lexi looked similar, except her dress was black lace and had a peephole that revealed her perfect cleavage. Her long, sleek legs put her on a different level from me. I might normally feel insecure standing next to such a knockout, but not tonight. Tonight, I was over feeling anything.

Lexi leaned forward in the mirror, pulling and adjusting the top of her dress, then she turned and adjusted the bottom. "Damn, we look good." She blew a kiss to me in the mirror. "Ready?"

"Ready," I confirmed.

As we entered the living room Lexi's two friends, Ronny and Paul, stood and brought us each a shot and a lime.

I quickly downed the alcohol and was sucking on the lime before Paul could make his toast.

"Damn. I was going to say, 'to beautiful ladies and the lucky bastards who get to escort them.'" Paul clinked his glass with Ronny and Lexi before raising it and drinking his shot.

A car horn blared out front and Lexi linked her arm through mine, dragging me to the door. "Ride's here, let's go!"

The outside of The Beacon was lit up bright, search lights crossed the night sky. A line had already formed and was roped off from the street. The warm night air was filled with music from the club and laughter from the crowd in line.

Ronny put his arm around Lexi and started walking to the back of the line.

"Wait, we can go right in, remember?" I pulled the two passes from my clutch.

Lexi slid out of Ronny's embrace and grabbed my hand as we walked to the front of the club, the boys trailing behind.

I had enough alcohol running through me that I didn't worry about being carded. Once we flashed the passes Liam had given us, the bouncer didn't ask any questions. He spoke into his earpiece and opened the velvet rope for us to enter.

A long entrance hall opened up to an enormous space, the club was three floors, and balconies wrapped around the perimeter of the dance floor. A dark red interior and low curvy furniture managed to make the open space look sexy and intimate.

"Let's hit the bar first and then find some seats." Lexi grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd to the long bar stretching across the front of the club.

Many heads turned as she navigated the sea of people, the guys with lust and girls with jealousy.

When we made it to the bar, Paul leaned towards my ear and asked, "What would you like to drink?"

I shook my head and held up my new credit card. "I'll get it, thanks." I tried to muster a smile for him, but couldn't. I wanted to get drunk, and reckless, and not be me tonight, but I couldn't lead on a guy who I would most likely see again. This was Lexi's friend. I didn't want to ruin that.

Plus, I wanted to spend Connor's money. Preferably on stuff he wouldn't be proud of. It would be his fault since he didn't raise me. God, I needed a drink and to stop thinking about him.

Paul shrugged it off and leaned onto the bar, signaling to the bartender without success.

Lexi tugged on my hand, pulling me closer to the bar. "Guys are working tonight. We'll have better luck getting their attention."

I followed her lead and leaned on the bar, trying to wave the bartenders over.

A hand slid over my lower back as a deep voice spoke into my ear, "What are you ladies drinking tonight?"

I recognized Liam, and in my drunken haze, I hugged him without thinking. He smelled awesome, like cinnamon and something masculine. I really wanted to lick him, but I refrained. He looked hot in his black jeans and dark green dress shirt rolled at the sleeves. But I was surprised at my reaction to him—I'd never been so physically attracted to someone. Maybe it was because I'd never been this drunk before.

He smiled at me and then looked over my shoulder to Lexi. "I'm glad you both came out." He glanced at Ronny's arm on Lexi's back and raised his eyebrows. "You brought friends, too?" His eyes swept from Ronny to Paul to me. "I think we have enough room for everyone at one of our tables. Follow me, you'll get better service this way."

"Holy shit, seriously? Thanks man," Paul exclaimed as he slid into a booth on the second floor overlooking the dance floor.

"Thanks a lot." Lexi hugged Liam, and I wondered if her body was reacting the same way mine did.

"What are you all drinking? Rachel can get it for you." Liam gestured to a petite blonde with big hair.

Not wasting a moment, I ordered a round of tequila shots with lime.

"Would you like bottle service?" The tiny server asked in a surprisingly deep voice.

"Yes, please." It sounded expensive. Perfect. I was ready to set fire to whatever money I didn't spend tonight. "Jose Cuervo, salt, and a bowl of limes"

Liam leaned against the railing, nodding appreciatively at my order.

Lexi stepped forward. "Can we get some beers too, Corona?" she asked Ronny and Paul, and they nodded.

"Two rounds of Coronas, too," I told the server, handing her my card. "Liam, you want anything?"

"Make sure to bring extra shot glasses," he replied.

The server nodded. "I'll be right back with your drinks."

Liam leaned into me to be heard over the music, and I leaned into him to soak up his delicious warmth. "Sounds like you're on a mission to get lit tonight."

Then a group of guys appeared, separating us as they surrounded him. They all greeted each other with shoulder bumps and half hugs. There were girls with them as well, and Liam embraced one of them, a pretty blonde with huge boobs. He kept his hand on her back as he turned to me and winked. "Save me a shot."

With his arm wrapped around the blonde, he melted into the crowd with his friends.

"Damn, he's hot," Lexi yelled into my ear. "I think you have a shot with him, lucky bitch."

I shook my head, dismissing my fantasy. "I think that blonde he walked off with has a better shot."

"What about Paul? He's cute and interested." She nudged me while waggling her eyebrows.

I glanced at Paul who was talking to Ronny and thankfully seemed oblivious to our conversation. "Mm, no. I'm not looking for a relationship or complications of friends with benefits."

Lexi wrinkled her nose. "Fuck complications. These boys know better than to cause any of those." She patted Ronny's leg, and he looked over, surprised at her sudden contact.

"Huh? What did I miss?" he questioned.

Lexi squeezed his cheeks. "Just saying what good friends you two are."

Two shots, a beer, and lots of dancing later, Lexi and I left the dance floor to return to our booth. My limbs felt loose, weightless, as I walked up the stairs—practically floating. Liam leaning on the railing at the top of the steps, only a couple of feet away, caught me off guard and my feet stopped on the last step. My hesitation caused Lexi to bump into me, knocking me off balance. I reached for the railing as I tipped forward.

Liam caught me before I fell flat on my face and helped me regain my upright position.

Too intoxicated to be embarrassed, I laughed at my clumsiness and adjusted my dress, it had become crooked during the dancing and the fall.

"Thank you." I nodded to Liam once I stopped laughing.

"Damn," he said, shaking his head.

I took a step back, anticipating a reprimand for my behavior.

But he grabbed my arms and pulled me closer, leaning into my ear, his breath warmed my skin, the rasp of his voice sent tingles to my toes. "You were all angry and sexy as hell when you walked into this club, but that smile... Damn. I don't want to leave your side now. I don't want to miss another one."

I rewarded his words with another smile. I knew it was a line, but I didn't care. His words and the liquor I'd consumed were beginning to melt the ice that I'd felt in my core ever since this afternoon.

"I owe you a shot." I grabbed his hand and pulled him to our table.

"How long are you in town for?" Liam asked as he poured a round of shots.

I spoke over Lexi before she could tell him the truth. "I'm not sure yet, probably just the weekend."

Lexi shot me a wide eye look, and gave her a slight head shake, hoping she understood this as 'shut up'.

I turned away from her gaze and poured salt on my inner wrist to prepare for the tequila. Liam grabbed my hand and licked it off. The heat of his tongue slowly traveled across my wrist, my body absorbed it and my frozen core melted a little more.

Raising his glass to the table, he kept his golden eyes on me when he toasted, "To new friends."

I ignored the toast and took the shot, never breaking eye contact. I didn't want us to be friends, and I was fairly certain he didn't either. He thought I would be leaving. I decided the moment he asked that question, he would be perfect for me to lose myself with tonight. I reasoned this is what girls with daddy issues did, and I had daddy issues. It was not my fault.

I placed a lime in my mouth and then wrapped my arms around Liam, my lips meeting his as we shared the sour fruit. He tasted like cinnamon and liquor, a nice combination with the lime.

~Carly~

Carly was dreaming she was on a beach laughing with Connor. She awoke wrapped in the comfort of knowing that the dream would become reality this weekend.

Then her mind jumped back to the here and now. She immediately went to Kate's room and dread squeezed her stomach. She hadn't returned home. Kate had never before stayed out late, let alone all night. She checked her phone again just in case, but there were no missed calls or new messages. Damn.

A wave of anger washed over Carly. Kate was being very inconsiderate. She was not typically a selfish girl, but that's what she was being now. Yesterday was hard on both of them, but Kate had looked at Carly with such hatred like it was all her fault.

Carly had thought giving Kate time alone to process the information was a good move. She had assumed during that time Kate would have realized how hard the past twenty years had been on Carly. But no, Carly had instead returned to an empty hotel room with no explanation of where Kate had gone.

At least Lexi had been considerate enough to respond to her texts, so she knew her daughter was not wandering around alone.

Her anger threatened to boil over when she thought that Kate may not return today. They had a dinner planned with Connor.

Kate better not ruin this.