Alright, I know that we have messed up a lot of you guys with past chapters, but this one is a literal emotional roller coaster. It has its ups and its downs, but the end is always both welcomed and dreaded. I don't exactly know what to warn you guys of without giving anything away, so I am just going to say... Don't hate us! We only write what our brains decide, and sometimes it's something different than what we originally intended.

So... I am sorry. If any of you have any questions or comments, leave them down below and we will be getting on later tonight to answer them!

Much love, Xx

(Thank you to those of you who have made it this far with us! I hope you stay strong!)

The morning after their break-up, or separation or whatever you wanted to call it, Harry was called into work an hour before his shift. Today was a late shift anyway, so by the time he rolled out of bed at ten that morning, he was fully rested and not even a crumb of the night before hung in his eyes. He showered to remove the dirt and stench of alcohol, then got dressed and left.Michael and Luke were already at work, so the house had been empty and the kitchen a mess from their breakfast.

He didn't know why he had been called in until he walked through the doors and John was waiting there to greet him. "There was a fatal car crash early this morning. Mom and aunt died upon impact, but the little boy was still alive when paramedics arrived on scene. He didn't have enough oxygen reaching his brain, and now he's brain dead. Dad signed off on his donor papers, and the child just so happens to match one of your patients," John rushed out to say, paying for affect as he looked up at Harry. "Aspen."

Harry froze in his tracks and felt as his heart stopped, chest crushing it tightly as the entire world began to grow blurry. "Aspen?" He didn't wait for a response. He was running, pushing his way through the hallways and taking the stairs. He even passed Louis and his group of friends, but didn't offer them even a glance. "Bugsy!" Harry greeted the little girl as he ran into her room, out of breath and panting. "S-Santa. He asked me to tell you something.." Neither would know yet, not her or even her mom. This could be his big surprise for her.

Startled when Doctor Styles came running in out of breath, she paused in feeding Aspen some pudding. Aspen's eyes got wide and she wheezed out before making grabby hands for her favorite doctor. Rose gladly got up so Harry could sit next to her, "Did you hear that, baby? Santa!" Aspen nodded, the baby pink Santa hat on her head bobbing. "What about Santa, Dr. Harry?" Aspen managed to squeeze out before a coughing spell took over and she reached for her juice.

Louis stared as Harry ran by, not hiding the fact that he was staring at the man's ass. He sighed and turned to Zayn who gave him an apathetic look. Neither man looked in Liam's direction, he was in the shit house for a long time.

Harry set on the bed next to Aspen, still struggling to catch his breath, and handed her the juice so she could take a sip before he grabbed her hand and leaned forward. "Lungs, Asp. He brought you lungs," he whispered, hand gripping hers in a soft yet tight grip. This is something he's wanted to tell her, something he's always dreamed about and now it all feels surreal, that he's going to wake up in just a few minutes with a massive hangover and a hate for the world that only seemed to have grown stronger overnight.

Glancing over his shoulder at Rose, he offered her a small smile and nodded. "She's a match." Their girl had a chance now at surviving, at having a normal life.

Aspen's eyes got wide around the straw, pushing it away. "I'm going to get better and be able to go home?" That may be too soon, but Aspen missed her house and friends and school. She threw little arms around Harry, managing to upset the hat off her head as she attempted to climb into Harry's lap. "And, and, do I get to still see you after I leave?" A million ideas were running around Aspen's mind, little girl with big dreams.

"Thank the Lord for matches and Dr. Styles," Rose was emotional, their long hard fight may be coming to an end and they'd bring Aspen home then get married and maybe give Aspen a sibling or two. "Harry, what would we do without you?"

Harry helped her into his lap, an arm wrapping around her waist to hold her in place, cautious of the oxygen mask and tube. "Of course you will, Bugsy. I'll visit every week," the fact that he had forgotten his promise last night and left was forgotten in the moment of happiness shared with them. They've all worked hard for this, Aspen so much more than anyone else.

An hour later, everything was ready. Harry brushed a hand through the girls hair as she was being wheeled away, towards the double doors that closes off the OR section. "I'll see you when you get out, Bugsy. I promise." Smiling softly, he walked over to the next room to and sighed deeply as he pushed through the doors to the first OR room and seen John was already elbow deep in the kids open chest, eyes completely concentrated as he carefully moved. Harry didn't even get a chance to really meet the kid, or thank his sleeping body for what he was doing. He planned on meeting the father afterwards, though, to thank the man and hopefully be able to pay for all three funerals. It was the least he could do.

Scrubbing in, with Dr. Horan and Michael on as standby doctors, Harry pulled on his scrub gown and smiled behind his mask, too excited to contain his excitement or giddiness. "Alright. Everyone ready to save this little girl's life?"

Chewing on a tootsie pop, Louis was glad it was an easy day. Because they all had to work tomorrow, Zayn, Ed, and Alex were taking him out for a late supper at an Italian restaurant, then going clubbing, which they'd protested at first due to Louis being unable to drink, but Louis insisted he could have fun without drinking. Louis watched a new male doctor walk by; blonde hair, blue green eyes, and dimples that didn't quite match Harry's but were cute. Apparently his friends knew the doctor and called him over making Louis blush harder. He wasn't interested unless the man wanted a one night stand, Louis was still hung up on Harry.

"Arick, have you met Louis? Louis, this is Arick the new OB-GYN." Oh shit. Louis had made an appointment with a new doctor, not wanting to rely on Michael. "Erm.. is your last name Hoffmann? If so, I have an appointment with you in about two hours." Louis stuttered out when he saw how intently Arick was staring at him.

"So you're Louis Tomlinson? I may have recognised your name on the hospital website. Pretty cute," Arick winked causing Louis face to grow even hotter until he had to excuse himself and rush off.

Luke happened to be walking by to witness the encounter Louis had with the new OB/GYN. He's heard plenty about the man from Michael, but he honestly doesn't see what all the hype was about. "Hey, mate," he greeted them when Louis' friends scampered off. Receiving a questioning look from his accent, Luke rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall with his shoulder. "I'd watch out for that one. He's engaged to Dr. Styles. You may have heard rumors they're separated, but Harry is territorial and possessive. Ask any other employee here. You don't want to fuck with him." Eyebrows raising after he offered the not so friendly advice, he began to whistle as he walked away, a grin tugging at his lips.

Walking into the theatre to overlook the surgery, Luke watched as Michael and Harry practically worked as one. They moved together easily, the other never getting in the way as they removed Aspens lungs. They had a short time period before they had to put in the new lungs and Luke watched, intrigued as Michael spun, holding the old lungs, and Harry instantly replaced the gaping hole with the new ones. Jumping when he looked up and seen someone was leaning against the wall, hidden but still having a view of the surgery, Luke swallowed thickly when he seen it was Louis. "How long have you been in here?" Must have been a while, considering he had been in here before Luke.

Pushing out of the shadows, Louis sneered at Luke, "About fifteen minutes" Turning to watch through the glass again, he leaned head against his raised arm and sighed. He missed Harry. The beeping of his phone made him stiffen as he reached in ti grab it. A phone call was coming in from Zayn, "Yeah? Just watching surgery, whatcha doing?" As if they hadn't seen each other literally twenty minutes or so ago. Laughing, Louis remembered Luke was still standing there and lowered his voice, "You didn't! Oh my god, we don't know him! I do not need somebody, Zayn. Fuck fine, tell Arick he is welcome then and tell Alex I heard that!"

Louis gave a sigh and hung up on his friend, rolling eyes. Opening the text when it came in, Louis barked out a laugh at the picture of Alex and Zayn with puppy dog eyes and was about to text back when a new message came in from Alex, a close up of Dr. Hoffmann's bum and a butt slapping emoji to follow. "They are now dead." He looked down at the O.R. then went for the door of the viewing area.

"You're going to push him away," Luke suddenly blurted, watching as Louis paused by the door. He had heard the entire conversation, even the muffled, staticky voice of Zayn. This room was quiet. "Harry fucked up, and I'm not saying you should forgive him, but going out with this Arick dude will ruin any chances of you guys getting back together." Luke bit his lip and glanced down at Michael, admiring the man and his colored hair as he worked.

"Michael cheated on me too, ya know? It was a few years ago and I got a stick up my ass and was a dick to him. He slept with some guy he knew from college," he didn't know why he was saying this, but it all just came flowing out of his mouth. "I was hurt, and wanted to leave him. I did for a while there, too, and even called off our engagement." He looked down at his fourth finger, where the cheap little dinky ring was supposed to sit but was instead at home collecting dust in his jewelry box. "But I loved him. I was willing to put it aside and forgive him, because I didn't want to lose him. I'm only telling you this because Harry does love you, even if it is in his own twisted way. But he stays guarded. He will go to extreme measures to hide his feelings and prove something isn't true when it is, just to protect himself. Don't give up on him is all I'm saying."

Louis turned to stare at the man. "I have no plans on going out with him, he's just joining us for clubbing tonight. It's a group thing and I'll stick by Zayn the whole night as both of us are the lone wolves." Why was he explaining this to him? He could bet it would all go back to Harry. His phone buzzed with a text from Alex telling Louis to hurry up and get down to the cafeteria. He quickly typed a reply then slid phone into the pocket of his scrubs.

"But Michael didn't cheat on you with your best friend. Harry ruined us and Zayn and Liam's relationship, with Liam's help," He got quiet when Luke said Harry loved him and moved to open the door when it started to open and Alex was there, "Lou, pizza day!" Louis was going to ask how Alex knew where he was, but shrugged. "I said I was coming! Stop stalking me!" Louis said teasingly as the two friends exited the viewing area to head for the cafeteria. "Hold on, I left something back there."

Louis rushed back up the stairs and into the viewing area to walk ivee to Luke, "Tell Harry I love him, too." He brought a hand out to squeeze Luke's then ran off to catch up with Alex.

----

The hours seemed to pass by in a slow, snail pace while Harry finished the surgery. But the waiting game was only now beginning. As Aspen was rolled up to the icu for close observation, Harry made his way down to the waiting room, where Ryan Pollie sat, father, Husband and brother in law to the three victims. The approach was a little uncomfortable for both as Harry sat down across from him and told him his four year old son was down in the morgue.

But then they started to talk, and he offered Ryan to meet the little girl who's life his son saved, but after declining and watching the man shed a few tears, Harry insisted he pay for the funerals and it wasn't until he agreed that the man left. A dent in his bank account never seemed so important, so worth it. He did rounds as he anxiously waited for Aspen to wake up, checking on outgoing patients and new patients before he made his way down to the morgue.

Henry Pollie looked just like he was sleeping with the bright light blaring down on his face and cheap sheet covering his body, folded at his chest right above the scars. His brown eyelashes rested against his pale cheeks, under eyes slightly bruised and discolored. His freshly shaved head had Harry choking on his own emotions as he brushed a hand over his head gently. "Thank you, little one. I never wished for this to happen, for you to get hurt, but thank you for saving her." He went on to tell the little boy about Aspen, and all the plans she had for her new lungs, and when he left he felt some sort of peace settle over his shoulders.

Making his way up to the icu, Harry showed them his badge and was granted access to Aspen's room, where he sat patiently in the sterile white chair with her moms. It wasn't until it was nearing five hours after the surgery that she began to stir, eyes pinched in pain. "Hi, Bugsy," Harry whispered, automatically moving to her side to check her over. After seeing she was stable and only had minor discomfort in her chest, which was to be expected, he left with a promise to return when he had the chance. For now he has to go and perform surgery on a mid aged man with a ruptured appendix.

Tired, Louis was dragging ass by now. He yawned widely and brought a hand up to rub st his eyes. His entire evening was ruined because another nurse decided to call in sick. They weren't sick, they just wanted the extra holiday off. So he wouldn't be going home until tomorrow evening, so much for any sleep, happy birthday to him. He barely registered walking by Harry in the hallway, blue eyes watching his feet walk along the polished linoleum floor.

"Fuck.." Louis was getting a migraine. Pushing fingers into his temples, he rubbed at the skin and kept walking. With nothing on schedule at the moment, he ducked into an on-call room and climbed onto a bed. He hated that this was the last place Harry and him had been happy. Curling up on the bed, he slid arm under the pillow to will himself to sleep.

Harry was in and out of the surgery within an hour. Going down to the catateria for some coffee for his drive home, he ordered himself a large black coffee and left. He was on call all night, but he didn't see any point in staying when the hospital wasn't really busy. He was only ten minutes away, nothing could really happen in that small time period. He needed to catch up on house chores and sleep, though his mind had completely different ideas.

When he got home, he crushed his empty cup and threw it away, then got to work on erasing Louis from the home. His smell, his forgotten clothes or shoes or even hairbrush. Their sheets were thrown away, as well as the comforter, and Harry was pulling out two brand new sets of each out of the hallway closet. He deep cleaned their bathroom and the guest room, and when he was done he was thoroughly exhausted, his nose hairs were singed from all the chemicals, and his house wreaked of bleach.

He scrubbed his hands raw, then cooked himself a beautiful meal of macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets. They were junk food Louis had bought, but right now they seemed comforting. With his meal in his lap, and Titanic playing on the screen, Harry sipped his chocolate milk and ate, ending up falling asleep just before Jack drew Rose.

As Louis slept, he was being watched from the door. When he rolled over, body beginning to wake up, the door closed quickly. Sitting up, Louis noted the time, he'd gotten some sleep, it would get him through the rest of the night just barely. Sliding off the bed to slip feet back into his shoes, Louis gasped when he realized he'd slept right through the appointment. "Fuck!" He scampered out of the room, only to run into Dr. Hoffmann standing nearby. "Oh, I forgot about the appointment and you're probably ready to leave?"

Doctor Hoffmann upon learning that Louis had to drop out of their plans tonight, volunteered to be the OB-GYN on overnight duty, not that he'd see alot of action, he just wanted to keep tabs on Louis. "It's alright and I got asked to stay, so I have all the time in the world. Wanna do it now?" He slung an arm around Louis' shoulder making the hair on his neck stand up. Arick was kind of creepy, but Louis hated putting labels on people he first met. "Sure, Dr. Hoffmann."

The two rode up to the OB floor, Louis pretending to be engrossed in his phone while Dr. Hoffmann was going over charts and sneaking looks at Louis when the tiny man wasn't looking. When the doors slid open with a ding, Louis followed the man to the exam room. "Alright. Go lay down on the table and I'll get ready." He nodded, doing as he was told.

It didn't take long for them to get underway and soon Louis was watching his baby on the screen. "Can you print four out?" Dr. Hoffmann took the wand off Louis' belly, rubbing the gel off as he got the sonogram printed. "Sure can, but why four? You, mum and dad..?" Louis didn't think it was Arick's business as he rolled to sit up, not realizing his phone had accidentally called Harry, "One for my fiance. . one for my mums," Louis corrected then gave a gasp, "I need five. One for Harry's mum."

Harry awoke with a startle at the sound of his phone ringing. Sleep still clung heavily to his eyes and brain as he pulled it from his pocket and answered it with a raspy, "Hello?" When all he got was silence, he palmed at his eye and was getting ready to hang up when he heard a smooth voice, raspy but also soft with a syrupy sweetness, begin to talk, asking questions about four and something to do with parents.

Yawning, he repeated himself against and moved to lay across the couch, empty plate and cup let to sit on the table. That was when he heard Louis. His head had just made contact with the soft arm rest, eyes drifting close, when he heard the boy speak. His eyes snapped open and he pulled the phone back to check and make sure he wasn't hearing things, but sure enough it wad Louis.

Keeping quiet, because he wanted to be nosy, Harry pressed the mute button on his screen, followed by the speaker button, then laid it on his chest so he could fold his arms beneath his head and look up at the ceiling glowing with the movie still playing. He didn't know why, or how he even felt about eavesdropping, but he just had a feeling he had to keep the phone on. So much for being done with him, dickwad.

Arick went to hand over the pictures, but pulled them back at the last second. "Did you say fiance? Because I heard you dumped his ass when his recent fuck broke down and spilled the beans." Louis' eyes got big and he made a noise. Jumping to his feet, he reached to grab the papers, but once again Arick held them back, "Not so fast, little one. You're single, free from that bastard and yet you called him your fiance and he gets a picture?"

Petite hands were in fists, he had to act professional and not punch the asshole. "It's none of your business, but I still love Harry. What he did hurt me, yes, but someone told me not to give up so I won't. And no matter what, this baby is his. Nobody will take Harry's place as their daddy."

A dark look crossed Arick's face, gone before Louis could see it. Standing up, he was taller than Louis, but still shorter than Harry, so he wasn't that intimidating. "Louis, we both know you were checking me out, I could see you out of the corner of my eye." He licked over his lips and stepped closer to the nurse, "The floor is empty, should we take advantage of it?"

Louis shook his head. God, this was almost as bad as Nick and his sub. Reaching out, he grabbed the papers from Arick's hand. "Fuck you. I love Harry." He hipchecked Arick into the sonogram machine then took off for the elevator. Quick thinking made him pull his phone out to text Alex. Upon seeing a call already in progress and the name, he swallowed hard and brought it up to his ear, "Did.. you hear all that?" Louis gave a gasp when he saw Arick come out of the room. Smashing the button for the elevator, it was pure luck that made the doors open then close as Louis slipped in and pushed the buttons. "Shit..."

Harry was rigid in his seat, glaring at Jack as he told Rose where to get the Axe. Who the fuck was this prick, and why didn't he get the hint to back the fuck off? Was Louis full on declining the offer not enough? He was ready to jump in his car and pull this stranger off Louis, but then he heard the boy press the elevator button, followed by the ding. The confession of love didn't affect him too much, considering he's heard it from Louis before, and even has a text to prove it. "More than I needed to. Who is this fuck?"

Harry jumped up from the couch and began to pace in front of the TV, teeth sinking into the soft pad of his thumb to keep himself from shouting or demanding to do something when it wasn't his place anymore. "Hello? Louis?"

It was going to be a long night. Louis stood frozen with the phone to his ear, trying to control his breathing. "I-Im here, ba - Harry." God, it hurt. He wanted to fall and call him the names that slipped from his tongue: baby, babe, honey, Haz, Froggie, being some of them. When the elevator came to a random floor, he stepped out. It was quiet and dark. Louis checked his watch to see visiting hours was almost over and most of the patients were going to bed.

Walking down the hallway, his shoes squeaking with every step, he let them take lead, shutting brain off for the time being. "I'm sorry I pocket dialed you, but.." He took in a deep breath and leaned down to sip from the water fountain. "I'm glad you picked up instead of rejecting the call."

Harry fell down in his seat as relief flooded through him, even if he didn't understand why. "I was sleepin'. Didn't see who it was till I already answered," he admitted, brushing the long strands of hair back out of his face. At the knowledge that Louis was okay, sleep began to weigh down his limbs again and he felt his eyes begin to grow heavy, flickering images of the movie barely even registering in his head.

"Listen, stay away from the creep. Go find Zayn or someone. I'm going to go to bed." He waited a second just to hear if Louis would say anything, but when the line remained silent he sighed and began chewing on his bottom lip. "Goodbye, Louis." The farewell sounded so finalizing, weighed heavily with something neither have said and didn't want to either. This was the end, wasn't it?

That was the only reason? But, Harry didn't hang up when he saw who it was or heard his voice, which maybe nw could take as a good thing? He wished he was sleeping next to Harry, hogging the blankets and curling up as close to the Dom as possible to steal his bodyheat. Louis was constantly cold and loved to feel Harry shudder when he'd put cold feet and hands on him.

"Zayn isn't at work. NOBODY I know is here," Or like. It was the stuck-up crew as Louis called them. They consisted of the older doctors and nurses who were used to overnights and did them all the time as nobody at home would miss them. Moving to open the door to the stairs, he startled one of the oncologists huddled in the stairwell puffing away at a cigarette. "Mate, you can't smoke in the hospital, people will smell that!" Panicking when he heard Harry say goodbye, he choked back a sob, "Fine. Bye Harry,"

Harry hung up the phone even though he had to force his arms and fingers to move. His body was rebelling against him, wanting to talk and be close to the blue eyed boy his brain claimed to hate. "So much for leaving him alone and staying the fuck away, huh Naomi?" The name came out of nowhere as he looked at the once pregnant cat waddling down the stairs. Her stomach was still the shape of a balloon, though it was deflating now.

She kept glancing back up the stairs from where she sat perched on the bottom stair, her chest puffed out in pride as she more or less gloated about her babies, or the fact that Harry was caving in on himself. "Come here, stupid," he said and rolled his eyes, wanting the company of somebody even if that somebody was an animal. He pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, tip brushing his front teeth, and sucked in three times through puckered lips, making little clicking sounds that caught her attention and had her strutting over to him, jumping in his lap where she instantly rolled onto her side and began to purr as her paws kneaded his stomach.

When nothing but silence was heard, Louis pulled the phone from his ear to see that Harry had in fact hung up on him. Smearing the tears running down his face, his shoes tapped on the stairs as he went to the ground floor and just sat. Staring off into the distance, he rolled the phone around and around in his hands. What the hell should he do?

He sat the phone in his lap, sitting for a second when the door opened, smacking him in the knee. Hissing in a cuss, Louis rolled eyes up to cuss the person, eyes lighting up when the familiar face came into view. "Zayn! I thought you were out with Alex and Ed?" Shaking his head, he offered a hand to help Louis up then wrapped an arm around the nurse, "Nah. I couldn't let you suffer at work, especially when your birthday is in about.." Zayn looked at his watch, "Three hours."

Harry stunk of sweat and sterile soap, neither a pleasant smell though he honestly prefered the first rather than the latter. Leaving his phone downstairs on the table, both him and Naomi went upstairs and he deposited the cat on the cat bed before he stripped from his scrubs. He opened the bottom cupboard, hand hovering over the vanilla scented bath bubbles. Did he really want to do this? Continue smelling like Louis when he was trying to forget him?

Growling, he grabbed the damn bottle anyway and dumped a good amount into the water after he turned it on he watched as the water line slowly grew, bubbles multiplying like crazy until he was left sinking into the too warm water that had a good foot of bubbles rising to greet his chin with feather light kisses as a few popped. He didn't hear his phone ringing downstairs, vibrating like crazy on the glass table. Even if he had, though, he wouldn't have answered it. He was too relaxed.

When John couldn't get a hold of Harry, he took the next step and went to flag down Louis. He was sitting on the spinning chair behind the nurses station doing spins, he was that bored. A person clearing their throat made Louis stop, foot going out to stop the rotation. He gulped when ne saw it was John, plastering a huge smile on his face. "Good evening, John. Can I help you?" Please don't have come to yell at me, it's almost my birthday! Louis pleaded quietly.

"Yeah, have you talked to Harry lately?" John was fashionably late with gossip/news so he wasn't aware the two had broken up. Louis looked at his phone on the counter, nibbling at his bottom lip. "Maybe a half hour ago? What's up?" Now Louis was worried for Harry. He sucked in a breath, blowing it out slowly as he grabbed his favorite purple pen.

Studying Louis for a second, his expression sober, "A patient of his, Aspen isn't doing well at the moment. He's not answering his phone." Louis didn't understand why John had to come tell him this. He couldn't make Harry answer, he was at work. "Um, try again? He told me he was going to bed so maybe he's showering or something?"

John nodded. It made sense, he pulled out his cell phone and hit re-dial as he walked away. Rolling eyes, Louis rolled the chair around and reached for his coffee. It had gotten cold while speaking with John. Damnit.

Sinking into the water, Harry was starting to wish he had brought some wine up or something to drink or do, seeing as he was bored. But the longer he set there, cocooned in the warmth, the easier it was to relax and let his mind wander. Lazily drawing patterns on his thigh beneath the water, causing the bubbles to stir as the water swished and lapped at the edge, he rested his head on the cool edge of the porcelain tub and slowly sleep was pulling him under.

He must have been in there for twenty minutes, because by the time he came to, the water was luke warm and his hands and toes were shriveled. Wrinkling his nose, he pulled the plug out with his toe and let all the water drain, taking with it most of the bubbles, then he slowly stood and stretched, bubbles clinging to his sopping wet hair and body. He didn't bother rinsing them off as he stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He was just walking into his room to get dressed when he heard his phone ringing. Lips pursing, he quickly grabbed his change of clothes and half ass tugged on his boxers as he went, nearly falling down the stairs.

The phone had stopped ringing by the time he reached the bottom step, so he figured it wasn't too important and pulled on his loose black sleep pants that were silk, with his matching button up top with long sleeves. He went to button it up when his phone began to ring again. Picking it up, he felt as the back of his neck became wet from his still very wet hair, making the shirt cling to his skin. "Hey, John. What can I do for you?" Harry asked, getting ready to sit down when he heard John sigh heavily and ask him to get over to the hospital as soon as possible.

"What? Why?" Eyebrows furrowed, he grabbed the keys from off the table and began to walk towards the door, but paused to look out at the darkened street when John said he'd rather not discuss it over the phone. That had every hair on Harry's body standing on alert, his back going rigid. He could tell something was wrong. "John, you better fucking spit it out. Is Louis okay?" Please, he needs to be okay.

But then he told him, the two words raining down on his like ice cold water with fire blazing in the middle of the crystal clear drops. His phone fell to the ground with a satisfying shattering sound as his heart lurched out of his chest. He felt as something began to well in his chest. No. This can't be right. He was still sleeping upstairs. This was a dream. He left the phone on the floor and didn't even bother grabbing shoes. He ran right out the front door, barefeet crunching in the snow and open shirt flapping in the wind, and jumped in the car, frantic hands fumbling to shove the key in the ignition. No. Aspen wasn't dead. This was a big lie, a joke.

Humming to himself, Louis had Pandora playing on his phone as he dance-walked to the lounge, after making sure nobody was watching. He spun around on his toes, attempting to moon walk as he lip synched to Billie Jean and making a new cup of coffee. The song changed to a slower one, so once the coffee was done, Louis mimicked ballroom dancing to the door. Opening it, he was almost run over by a group of people rushing for the elevators. "Assholes! I had the right of way!" His coffee was now all over his top from the abrupt stop, making him sigh as he turned around to make more. Good thing it was slow.

Darting from the room, he made sure the coast was clear before going for the desk. Setting the phone down, he sang along as he opened a chart to slowly fill it out. He had all the time in the world, but he knew he'd more than likely jinxed himself as he heard the door open again and bare feet slapping along the floor. Idiot was going to get pneumonia.

Harry sped down the road, too upset to even care about the stupid speed limit. When he reached the hospital he didn't even park his car in a parking lot. He pulled up crookedly by the front of the hospital doors and turned off his car before he jumped out. He flung his keys back in through the window, a stupid move, and ran into the quiet hospital without another thought.

People stared at the man with wild eyes who had his shirt wide open, revealing his chest, hair wet and no shoes on as he ran down the hallway. He pushed forward though, barefeet slapping against the floor and making obnoxious noises as they stuck. He ended up passing Louis, wide green eyes glossy and honestly unhinged locking with blue ones before he ran up the cement stairs and burst through the door on the icu level.

"Where is she!?!" he shouted, chest bright red and heaving as he shoved past two people guarding the doors of entry and came face to face with John. "Where the fuck is she?"

"Harry?!" Louis managed to jump from the chair without tripping as he ran after his fiance. He tsked at the bare feet, following Harry up to the ICU. His eyes got wide as he quietly approached Harry from behind and moved a hand out to touch him, then thought better of it and stood off to the side.

"What happened?" Louis looked at Harry then at John. He knew they were on the pediatric ICU floor, but Louis' mind was too muddled to put two and two together.

Harry jerked at the sound of Louis' voice, but kept his heated gaze locked on John, growing closer with each second that passed to intimidate the President of the hospital. It worked, because a second later he was lifting a shaky hand towards a door across from them. Shoving him out of the way, Harry ran into the room and nearly collapsed, knees locking when he seen the little girl lying on the bed. She looked like Henry did, peaceful, like she was sleeping. But he knew better. He knew better.

He tried swallowing back his emotions as he stepped up to the bed, but it piled in his throat and came out a choked sob. When he brushed her cheek, he found it was still warm, but her chest was caved in, lips turning pale and skin losing color. "No," he whispered, glancing up to see Rose and her fiance huddled on the couch, both sobbing. "No." Harry repeated, heart clawing at his chest as it attempted to climb up his throat and lodge itself there.

He felt as the first tear fell, hot and salty as it trailed down his cheek and pooled in the curve of his lip. He no longer felt right. His heart hurt and he just wanted to reach out and hold her, to have her open her pretty little eyes and ask him where her hot chocolate was. But with the realization that couldn't happen, came another heart wrenching sob.

Not wanting to interfere, Louis looked at John when Harry ran off to the room. "So, what happened?" John gave a sigh and turned gray eyes to Louis, "Aspen passed away, the little girl with the lung disease?" Aspen..Aspen.. oh shit. The little girl Louis had found in the supply closet that one day, Harry mentioned her alot.

Louis ran a hand over his face. "I... probably shouldn't be up here." He felt awkward being on this floor when it hadn't been his patient, he'd never even interacted with Aspen before that day. "I'm going back to the desk." John shot Louis a look and moved to stand in front of him, "Your fiance is devastated and you're running away? What kind of person are you?"

.

Gasping, Louis narrowed eyes, face getting hard. "We broke up, John. Not that it's any of your business." He scratched at his arm, slowly backing up. Turning to run, he took the stairs back down and didn't stop until he reached his phone. Pulling up his messages, he typed something out to Zayn, then set the device back down burying face in his hands. What the hell was he going to do?

With the powerful new emotions he didn't want to feel, came the overpowering sense of anger. She was dead, and they didn't save her. They could have done something, anything, but they let her die. And then Harry snapped. Her heart machine was pulled to the ground, screen shattering and plastic snapping. The dresser in her room was overturned, and he was stomping out of the room with a now screaming Rose behind him.

"You killed her!" He scream at John, wanting more than anything to punch the man in the face, but he did the next best thing. He grabbed a computer monitor and threw it at the wall, eyes no longer green but black with red rimming everything he saw. If he stopped, if he let go of the anger, he'd end up crying and he didn't know if he could stop.

He cracked the guard in the jaw when the man came after him and bashed his head into the wall, then shoved the other guard into a metal shelf stacked full of stuff and he went running down to the next level. A few guards followed him as he flipped a gurney over and flung files and papers across the hallway, anything to keep himself from feeling.

"You all fucking killed her!" He shouted, having an audience now as he picked up a wooden chair and threw it at the guards closing in on him. His chest was heaving, eyes mirroring an animals that was savage. "Take another step and I'll break all your fucking jaws."

The commotion made Louis and Zayn jump, the latter having arrived just moments before. He didn't like that the guards were treating Harry like he was dangerous. "Be right back." Louis murmured to Zayn. Rushing over to the group, he ducked under a guard's arm - a welcome advantage of being small - and carefully approached his love.

"Froggie," Louis said in a soft soothing voice, a hand going out to touch the man. He darted eyes from his hand to Harry's green ones, offering a sweet smile, "Can I..?" A step closer and he held out the other hand, spreading them to signify a hug.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw John approaching at the same pace with a syringe. "Back the fuck off, John. I know how to calm my fiance down. He doesn't need a sedative. Now get back," Louis hissed, pushing the man back as he shot Harry the smile again. "Can I touch you? Please?"

Harry felt cornered as Louis and the guards drew closer. He felt vulnerable, on the verge of tears as he backed up towards the barricade of people. "Don't touch me, Louis." He forced through a constricting throat. "I fucked your best friend, remember? Twice. He begged for it too. He didn't even think about you, which isn't hard to do. Get the fucking hint that we're done. " He was lashing out, trying to make Louis feel even half of what he was feeling.

Looking for an exit, Harry found one beside him, where people had spread apart to allow a gurney through. "Just do us both a fucking favor and leave me alone. Better you get out now before you end up like Aspen." He growled, sneering as he looked Louis up and down before he bolted for the exit. Tipping a janitor cart over on his way to make sure nobody followed, the hallway became slick with cleaner and garbage. Louis will end up like Aspen if he didn't push him away. Everybody he ever cares about either dies or runs away.

A soft gasp was heard when Harry spouted those horrid words. Tears sprung to his eyes, squeezing them shut. That wound was still raw. "Fuck you," Louis didn't care anymore that Harry had just lost a patient. He was through being second or third place to a selfish man. Stomping away after Harry did, he hopped onto his chair. Taking one look at Zayn, he burst into tears, collapsing in his friend's arms right as the clock hit midnight. Happy fucking birthday.

Everyone who witnessed it stood there awkwardly. John cleared his throat and motioned for his men to leave the floor, so they could get the body transferred to the morgue, Rose and her fiance following closely behind. Louis sniffled. "Well, now what? We're both single, hey maybe we should date each other?" He was joking. The two had attempted it back in high school, but they were too alike they ended up butting heads, especially when Zayn tried the Dom thing for the first time and Louis laughed at him. "That Arick jerk.. we don't need him either."

Harry sat in his car, windows rolled down so the cold air seeped into his car and chilled him down to his bones. He didn't know what to do or how to breath. He couldn't move, couldn't see, eyes blind with the fury still boiling away beneath his skin. But he had fucked up so had with Louis. He had taken his anger out on him.

Sinking down in his seat so his stomach pressed against the bottom of the steering wheel, Harry felt as the first wave of pain washed over him and drew him below the water, sneaking into his lungs and burning his heart. The anger began to subside, and in its place, its absence, was nothing. He was hollow, an empty shell of a man who was left staring at the top bright hospital.

"Well, happy birthday." Zayn laughed when Louis gave him a dirty look and steered his friend to the door to head outside. Both shivering when the frigid air hit them. Neither noticed Harry's vehicle was still there as they lit up smokes. A few minutes later, Ed's car came screeching up, parking unknowingly beside Harry's. "Louis! Merry Birthmas!" Alex jumped out, bringing a pink bakery box with him.

The three sang a very off-key happy birthday as the two newest lit up their own smokes. "How's it going so far?" Alex opened the box to hand Louis a cupcake, it was decorated to look like an ornament, one with a frog in a Santa hat. He took one look at it and frowned, glancing up at the parking lot and noticing Harry's vehicle. "Be right back!"

Jogging over, he was glad to see the window was down as he approached. Holding the cupcake out, he waited for Harry to offer a hand before placing it there as he got up on the running board and leaned in to kiss Harry's cheek then took off running back to his friends, all giving him a weird look.

Harry stared down at the cupcake, eyes tracing over the image before he chanced a glance up at Louis. It amazed him slightly, but he didn't act on anything or actually even feel anything. The death still hasn't caught up to him yet. It didn't feel real, and he loathed the moment it all sunk in and he was left feeling the pain he had only ever tried running away from.

Setting the cupcake on the seat, Harry pulled out of the parking lot before he could do something he regretted, or before he broke down. These people didn't need to see him like that, even though minutes ago they had seen him have a freak out.

----

It was two weeks past the new year, Louis wrongly figured Harry would come back to work, but the parking space remained empty as did his locker. He had just finished a short shift so he was grabbing his stuff to go when Luke cornered him. "Will you go check on Harry? We, as in Michael and I, have tried but he doesn't acknowledge us at all. We think he will with you, please?" Louis had planned on going straight home for a bath, pizza, and bed, but the look on Luke's face and the concern for Harry outweighed his own desires so he agreed. He knew where the keys were kept, Harry was consistent about that. Quickly pulling up to the house, he sat there staring out the windshield. The garage door was closed, a good pile of newspapers, packages, and mail that couldn't fit in the overstuffed box littered the front deck. Shaking head, Louis gathered everything up then let himself in.

The first thing to greet him was preggy kitty followed by her three babies. Louis gave a grin, setting the mail and junk on the table behind the couch and stooping to pet mama kitty then scoop up the calico. "Oh you are my favorite. Look at you gorgeous baby." He kissed the kitten's little pink nose then went for the stairs, "Wish me luck?"

Louis' belly had grown significantly, bouncing with every step he took that he had to cup it with a hand. He didn't stop until he got to the bedroom that he had once shared with Harry. Counting to five, he pushed the door open and walked in. "Harry?"

The days blurred together to the point that Harry had no idea what day it was, or how long it had been since the day of her death. He has drowned the pain in alcohol, forcing himself to keep his emotions at bay so he didn't cry. Bottle after bottle was drained, blood now a solid stream of whiskey. All the people who visited him, tried to talk to him, didn't do anything to him either. Their voices were blocked out as he stared at his blank wall, a bottle of alcohol permanently glued to his lips.

He felt nothing, an obvious advantage for his situation. He hasn't showered, either. He had a thick beard starting to grow in, hair a ratted mess and eyes circled with dark, prominent purple bags creeping closer to the color of black. He reeked of alcohol and sweat. The only time he got out of bed was to go to the bathroom, or find something to munch on to keep his rumbling stomach satisfied. His eating problem has only grown worse, leaving his clothes baggy and ribs nearly showing.

He was just opening a new bottle of some cheap whiskey he had kept stuffed in his closet for safe keepings, all of his other stash gone, when light flooded his dark room and he heard the familiar rasp of a voice that belonged to the person who has also haunted his dreams. Dull green eyes flickered in his direction before they turned to the wall he felt had holes in it now from how long he'd been staring. He didn't acknowledge Louis, or even let on that he knew he was there. He was done with people, with trying to be and do something he didn't want to do anymore.

So that was how he was going to be? Hell no! Louis eyed the bed. Sliding onto it on all fours, he scurried up to Harry and knocked the bottle out of his hand. Almost gagging at the overpowering smell of alcohol and body odor, he slid onto Harry's lap and wrapped arms around him in a hard hug, closing eyes as he'd missed this so much.

Sitting back up, he reached a hand out to touch the patchy facial hair, "I like you clean shaven. Shall we go have a nice bath? I'll wash your hair for you?" Louis liked to think he had magical fingers. Sliding off the bed, he was alarmed at how light Harry was and how easily he could maneuver him. Walking him to the bathroom, Louis carefully set Harry on the closed toilet seat as he reached to fill the clawed bathtub with warm water then added some vanilla body wash, preening inside when he learned that Harry hadn't thrown it out and had been using it. "Come on. Nice and warm!"

Harry moved like a robot, emotionless and limbs barely bending to fold his body down on the toilet seat. He just went with it, not having it in him to fight-- until Louis looked at him like that. Like he was some pathetic person who needed to be treated like eggshells or fragile bones. "I'm not a fucking kid, Louis," Harry said, throat scratching uncomfortably as he spoke for the first time in almost a month. It showed too, in the way his mouth moved to form the unfamiliar words. Shows how much you can honestly forget in such a short period of time.

Eyeing the tub with steam rising from it, Harry stood on unsteady legs. "Why don't you just go? You know you want to. I'm pathetic for letting this get to me so much, right? I need to grow up and be a man. I've heard it all." He didn't seem to notice Louis' bump until that moment. It has grown, so much so that the scrub top was pulled taut around his round belly. Swallowing thickly as his throat began to burn with the emotions he has kept buried, he looked down at the floor, the safest place.

Anger flashed in Louis' eyes. "Why do you have to be so fucking difficult? Is it hard to believe people worry about you? You're shutting everyone out, but I refuse to be. I love you, Harry Edward Styles." Wetting a washcloth, he started wiping the surgeon's face with it. "I want you undressed so I can get you pretty again. You smell like a hobo and kind of look like one." Louis crinkled up nose as he grabbed a water bottle he took from the lounge at work and put it up to Harry's lips, "Drink or I will have you hospitalized for dehydration."

When Harry drank enough to please him, Louis set the bottle down then exited the bathroom. "Take a bath, I'm going to change your sheets." Louis had a slight waddle going from the developing belly as he pulled the sheets, comforter and pillow cases off and threw them on the ground then went into the hallway for new linens and remade the bed. Throwing the soiled stuff into a laundry basket, he went picking up other items from the floor then went back to the bathroom, "Get in the tub!"

Harry wanted to be defiant and act out and tell Louis to leave, but then he smelt the damned vanilla and all hope was lost. Making sure Louis wasn't in line of sight, he tugged his shirt over his head, revealing a sinking in tummy and a depressed looking moth, then slid his pants down his thin legs, muscles and skin stretched over bones. His face wasn't too noticeable due to his scruff, but once it was gone you'd see his hollowed cheeks.

Slipping into the tub and hissing at the drastic temperature change, Harry watched through blurred eyes as Louis moved around the bedroom. It felt odd having him here, but also comforting to have another person in his home without them telling him he was too weak or a fuck up. "Why'd you even come?" Harry asked, finding his throat wasn't as scratchy since he drank the water. Keep yourself busy. Talk. Don't think.

When Louis saw Harry get into the tub, he pumped his fist in victory. Scooping up water in a cup, he dumped it over Harry's head to wetten the hair so it turned almost black and straight. Humming he squirted some vanilla scented shampoo into his palms then started gently massaging it into Harry's scalp. "Because I was asked to. Because I love you," Louis swiped at some foam trying to run down the older man's face. Dumping water over his head again, it took a couple rinses to get the shampoo out. "You're starting to smell prettier." He cooed as he leaned in to kiss Harry's forehead.

Finishing the bath, Louis nodded at the scruff hiding Harry's face. "Are you keeping that?" Even though they weren't couple anymore didn't mean Louis couldn't think dirty thoughts of what the bristles would feel like in a certain place. "Ready to get out? I'm going to order food.. Chinese, Italian, or Mexican?"

Scratching at his chin like he was lost in thought, Harry moved his feet in the water to feel as the water squished between his toes, signing deeply. "I'm keeping it." He needed change, needed to do something to make himself different to show how he felt on the inside. And he had just the idea on what he wanted to do. "Chinese. Can you go out while you order, so I can get dressed?" he was just amusing Louis with the whole eating thing. He wouldn't touch the food, even if his stomach did grumble at the smell.

Moving lower in the water to hide his body beneath the bubbles, Harry let the vanilla seep into his skin and wash away the dirt and grim and alcohol from weeks of wearing. His hair was still in mats on his head, he could feel that, but they were looser from the conditioner that hydrated the dead ends.

Since when has Harry been shy? He brought shoulders up in a shrug and left the room to place the order. Though, he did do another fist pump when Harry said he was keeping the stubble. Absentmindedly, Louis rubbed at his belly, he felt huge for only having one baby in there. But, maybe it took after Harry and be a plump baby. Playing around with his phone, he texted Zayn to see what was up as he'd taken Liam back on a trial basis.

Pacing the room, Louis sipped at the coffee he'd brought. Moments later his bladder was full. He knew Harry had another bathroom, but being pregnant, he wouldn't make it that far as just coughing or sneezing made him pee a little. "Sorry Haz, the kid is sitting on my bladder." Louis was at the toilet with his pants down to do his business.

Harry was out of the tub and wrapped in a fluffy white robe when Louis barged in. Thankful he was covered, Harry grabbed the armful of stuff he needed, hiding it from Louis, and left the bathroom without another word. He chose the bathroom downstairs to use, making sure it was locked before he took the robe off, boxers now slipped in place, and picked up the brush he had brought in. Working carefully, he brushed through the tangled hair until it was all brushed out and smooth, then he separated the hair, pulling the top into a bun.

Plugging in the pair of clippers and, without allowing himself to think, began to shave the sides of his head and the back, leaving the top alone for the time being. It fell in large clumps, leaving the hair about an inch long. He got around his ears and at the nap of his neck, careful not to nick anything. By the time he was finished shaving, he already felt as the weight on his shoulders began to loosen some.

Taking his hair down from the pony tail, strands of hair sticking to his chest and littering the floor and sink, he snipped the first chunk. One after another he kept going until he was left with about three inches of hair. He looked different as he stared at himself in the mirror, better even. He appeared his age with the brown dust of facial hair, thick and growing longer than he's ever allowed it. Slipping from his boxers, he clambered into the shower to rinse the hair off, then rewrapped himself in the robe and snuck past Louis on his way up the stairs, who was sitting in the living room with the kittens. He hid his hair, not yet wanting to hear the boys opinion.

Cooing at the kittens, he gently picked up the one with gold under its eyes and feet. "You're pretty too, but my heart belongs to miss.." Louis thought for a second, staring at the calico until a name hit. Nothing came. "You'll be named properly later." He set the kitten down. Remembering he left his phone upstairs, he had his foot on the bottom step when the doorbell rang. "Damn they're fast."

Starving, Louis was walking into the kitchen with the bags, while being followed by mama kitty and the four babies. "Harry Edward, supper!" He yelled from where he was pulling out plates and silverware and cups. Fishing in a bag, he got an egg roll and bit into it, a low moan escaping his mouth as the gold and brown kitten managed to get on the table and head right for the bags.

The older man got dressed, putting on three thicker shirts before he put on another heavier sweater to make himself appear larger than he actually was, then he slipped on a pair of sweatpants not stained with alcohol or food, having to pull the drawstring tighter than usual. He brushed fingers through his hair, unused to there being so little, and left it without any product so it flapped around as he walked down the stairs.

Entering the dining room, he kept his head held high and eyes trained on the ceiling so he couldn't see Louis' reaction. He didn't want to. He wanted to be alone, actually. His quota for human interaction was already stretched well beyond its limit and he could feel himself bending as Louis' comforting presence prodded at his chilled heart. He set down across from Louis, sock cladded feet crossing to rest on the floor. "You shouldn't have come." He still didn't understand why he did. Love was a piddly ass word used so lightly. He'd bet his damn arm Louis didn't know the first thing above love.

Feeding the kittens part of an egg roll, he giggled when they finished it and started licking his finger with their rough tongues. Hearing Harry approach, he looked at him for a second then went to dish up when he froze and slowly looked up again. "The fuck did your hair go?" Louis loved playing with the long curls, he'd gotten better at French braiding because of Harry.

Watching the man, he didn't notice when the fourth kitten jumped up and took off with his chicken. It didn't look bad, but it was a huge shocker. Touching his own caramel locks, he tried to picture himself with that short of hair and cringed. He was fine with just trims. "I am not having this argument again. I feel better knowing you're still breathing and I can maybe get Luke and Michael off my ass now."

Ignoring Louis' shock from his haircut, Harry pushed the plate away Louis offered him that was stacked full of food and crossed his arms on the table, fingers gripping each elbow. He eyed the growing cats, seeing the one that was his favorite, Cleo, was still so tiny compared to the rest. She was the one with gold on her body, designs so pretty and perfect on her petite body. The entire time he was in his... Black hole, he had the kittens to keep his company. Naomi had moved them up to his bed, probably sensing she needed to be close to Harry.

"It isn't an argument. I'm asking if you did this because you care, or just because you felt obligated to. I'm fine. Go fucking tell Michael and Luke that. Now leave, I can take care of myself," his voice was solid, like iron, but his eyes wavered ever so slightly. His strong revolve was breaking, the pain he has tried to keep from consuming him now twisting in his chest and stomach, creating powerful knots.

Steely blue eyes stared at Harry. It was one thing for the man to reject the food when it was apparent he hadn't been eating, but another to tell him to leave. Slamming his fork down, he walked over to where Harry was and slid onto his lap. Gathering some lo mein onto his fork, he held it up to Harry's mouth. When the man refused to open, his free hand went to pinch Harry's nose so he'd be forced to open his mouth and Louis could tuck in the food. "You spit that out, I'll go get a feeding tube," Louis warned, placing hand over Harry's mouth as a precaution.

It was kind of cramped sitting on the surgeon's lap with an almost five month belly between them. Squirming to get comfortable, he gasped when he felt the baby kick, grabbing Harry's hand to place it at the spot. "I think she knows your voice, and mine."

The food weighed heavily on his tongue, the noodles slimy with soy sauce and the beef chunk thick and pressing against his cheek. He didn't chew, just let it sit there as he breathed through his nose, upper lip curling in disgust as his body began to reject the smell of food, making Louis' pinky finger move along with his lips since it was curled just below his nose. When his hand was suddenly placed on Louis' stomach, he fought against the physical contact, once again not wanting to believe this child was real, when he felt a few flutters beneath his fingers, followed by a powerful kick to the palm of his head.

His eyes turned up to Louis', green eyes curious as he ever so slightly cocked his head to the side in questioning. Then he went ramrod straight as Louis' words digested and he realized what he had said. Girl. It was a girl. He began to struggle, removing his hand from Louis' stomach. Despite his obvious weight loss, he was still able to easily pick the boy up and move him into the chair next to him, then Harry was moving across the room. "Louis, go, please." Harry Styles was pleading? Weak.

When he was moved, Louis instantly got up to follow, he was persistent. "Nope!" He popped the p and walked over to Harry. He brought hands out to catch the others hands, holding him still. "I never thought I'd forgive you for cheating on me, I thought you were just a prick with no soul who coasted through life thinking you were top dog," Louis let go of one of Harry's hands to grab for his bag and pull out a toy that had belonged to Aspen that her mother's insisted Harry have. "Then I saw you completely crumble in yourself when Aspen passed. You are so broken and need someone to love you."

Louis held out the toy and a picture of his newest sonogram which he'd had the doctor type HI DADDY! on it for Harry, "Donny the Dino wants to live with you and I think, we should give our daughter the middle name Aspen in her memory?" He tilted head to the side.

The green dinosaur with purple spots was what did it in for him. Not the sonogram picture, or even the idea that Aspen's name could be their daughters middle name, but the stupid damn dinosaur. He felt his knees buckle and his throat constrict around the ball of emotions weaseling it's way up the tight airway, only to become lodged in the middle of his throat. He tried swallowing thickly to get rid if it, but his attempts were futile.

"I think you need to go and stop spouting this bullshit." Harry forced out weakly, face turned so he wasn't staring at Louis as his eyes screwed shut and his face twisted-- puckered with some unreadable emotions making him look like he just ate a warhead. "You think I want to be saved, but I don't. I'm fine with where I'm at right now." More than fine. Fuck Louis and his need to save everyone.

Alarmed, Louis leaned to help Harry sit down on the floor. He set the toy beside him az he slowly got down on his own knees. Frowning at Harry, he got up again to grab the water bottle and bring it over, putting the bottle to Harry's lips. "Drink, babe. Slowly." He brought a hand up to gently push through the now short and soft locks. the curls gone, but Louis could get used to this.

Setting the water down, he plopped heavily into Harry's lap, "No matter how many times you tell me to leave, I won't. I'm here for life, Harold," As if to prove it, Louis leaned in to press lips against Harry's then pulled back, "You are not fine. You're a mess."

Harry laughed bitterly, the need to mope and be all sad and depressed gone. It was like it was there one minute, hanging over his head and wrapping around his chest, then gone the next. "You're here for fucking life, Louis? Where have you been the past three weeks? You only fucking come when Luke and Michael asks you to. You don't care." Pushing Louis off his lap, Harry stood and began to pace in front of him, feet never stopping and pace never slowing.

Shoving a hand through his hair like he expected it to be swallowed by waves of chocolate curls, he pulled it back down when all that happened was his finger slipped right through it. Fuck him. Why'd he even fucking cut his hair. "And I'm not a fucking mess. I'm fine. I stay hydrated and eat as much as necessary. I'm talking and out of my room. The only fucking that is a mess here is my house. So fuck you." Stomping through the house, he tugged open the front door and jerked a finger towards the snow covered lawn. "Out. Now."

"I do too fucking care! But, I wasn't going to run after you when you cheated on me." Crossing arms, he got up and pushed past Harry to grab his soda and take a drink then dig into more food. "I don't see Michael or Luke here. Your faithful friends who were worried can't make an effort to come see you, yet I can. Funny isn't it?"

Louis shook his head, refusing to move from the spot. "You got out of your room because I got you up!" He eyed Harry's slimmer body, he could see right through the guise of all the layers, plus Harry's face gave it away with the sunken cheeks and not as bright eyes. "Yeah maybe if you were a starving kid in Africa," Stomping over, he took Harry's hand from the door and slammed it shut. "You're not paying to heat the outdoors."

"I'm the one paying the fucking bills!" Harry shouted, and just because he could he opened the door again. "Michael and Luke have been here none stop. My best friend hates me as much as you hate yours because I'm reliving his mistakes." Towering over Louis now, with the cold air sweeping over them, Harry pushed him backwards lightly so he hit into the wall and followed suit.

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm fine." He really wasn't, and he knew that. But he wasn't going to admit that, that he needed help. He was Harry fucking Styles, lone wolf against the world. He's done just fine all these years by himself. He doesn't need somebody to hold his hand for the rest of his life. "And guess what, Louis. I wasn't the only fucking one who cheated. Liam kissed me first. He was the one who initiated it. I just asked him if he'd ever let me fuck him because I wanted to know that I could."

His hands curled into fists as he stared up at Harry, "The fuck do you know? Michael and Luke say you haven't acknowledged them when they're here. That doesn't count." Louis gasped when Harry backed him into the wall, arm going to cover his belly, even if he knew Harry wouldn't harm their daughter, it was instinct.

A small hand went up to slap Harry hard across the face, "Stop being a fucking dick. Why are you refusing to accept that I'm in love with you? Arrogant motherfuck.. open your eyes." Louis looked up at him, hand going to cup his jaw.

Jaw flexing, hands balled into fists at his side to keep himself from lashing out, from wrongfully taking his anger out on Louis. "Do you even know what love is? You use the word like it means something to me, to you, but in reality it means shit nothing. Love is shown through gestures, and so fucking far, everything you've done proves you're just using the word in hopes I'll soften up and let you in. Fucking try again."

Shoving Louis' hand away, Harry slammed the door shut, the door frame shaking, and stormed out of the foyer and into the dining room. "I'm done with this, Louis. Leave. Go back to Arick. Run away like you always do, like you're good at."

Rolling eyes, Louis turned to face Harry. "Excuse fucking you, I'm the one who's been fucking trying. What romantic gesture has your ass done for me? Besides the obligatory proposal the state made you do?" He shook his head. Nope, this wasn't going to work. Fuck it.

"Fuck you Mr. I'm so important and wanted that I fuck everyone within reaching distance. You have NO fucking idea what love or relationship is." Louis walked over and grabbed his bag. Putting the strap over his head, patted pockets for his keys then fished them out. "You're a fucking piece of shit, Harry. All i wanted was to love you but god fucking forbid you allow yourself to be happy. Go back to wallowing, maybe you'll starve to death."

Louis walked to the front door and pulled it open then walked out, slamming it hard behind him. He was going to go back to the hospital and let Mike and Luke know it was impossible. He was washing his hands of Harry.

Harry blinked at the closed door, blood rushing through his ears and creating this staticy noise that was paired with his thumping heart. He was stupid, or just eager for a fight, because he followed after Louis, snow clumping to his socks as he ran down the grassy slope. "I was only supposed to propose!" He shouted, breath coming out in foggy clouds. "I didn't have to do what I did. All I had to do was get down on one knee and propose!" Did that mean anything, though?

"And maybe I will. Maybe I'll drink myself to death. Does it bother you half of the fucking UK will be there, claiming to be my mistress' when all I did was fuck them? Will poor little Louis run away from his own fiance's funeral because he wasn't the only one that Harry Styles made fall in love with him?" Stomping down the sidewalk, Harry stood in front of Louis' car, socks binding with the icy road. "Just because I don't fucking show my emotions doesn't mean I don't love. I've been in relationships, and I've been in love. Can you say the honest to god same? Can you tell me you've had your heart ripped out at the thought of someone leaving, of never seeing them again?

"Have you ever felt so fucking empty and hollow because the person you gave your heart to isn't there anymore? Have you ever felt physically sick because you and the person you love got into a fight?" Swallowing thickly to get rid of the memories sneaking into his voice, Harry took a step forward so his knees bumped into the front of the car. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, eyes falling to the hood of his car. "No? That's what I thought. You don't know what love or heartbreak is."

"Shut the fuck up. You always make this about poor little Harry." The fact that Harry ran out after him and was literally blocking his path obviously meant something. The keys dangling from his fingers fell onto the icy drive as he took one step forward, his shoe hitting a slick spot making him skid, grabbing to Harry's arm to keep from falling.

What Harry was spouting was a bunch of bullshit, he was trying to puff himself up for the benefit of the argument and make Louis either slap him again then leave,but he wasn't rising to the bait.

"What the fuck have I been telling you dense asshole? You are the one I love and we fight so fucking much, but I keep coming back to you. I do not want to go through life without you." Louis smacked Harry hard on the arm and stepped closer to wrap his arms around the surgeon, ear laying against his chest as he listened to the sounds of Harry's heartbeat. "I am not Shirley. Far from it. Stop comparing me to her."

Harry breathed hard through his nose, everything catching up to his and bowing up his body like the wind, bringing with it the chilly bite from the snow. Arms held out awkwardly at his sides, Harry didn't move from the hug but he also didn't shove Louis away. He didn't know how to react, or what to even say. For once, though, he had been making it about himself rather than just Louis, and like he expected, it blew up in his face

"I never said you were Shirley." Harry barked. He could never be Shirley. "I've never even compared her to you, really. You're complete opposites." Expect for they both like to run. Finally defrosting, doing what his body wanted, Harry wrapped stiff arms around Louis and allowed his warmth to seep in through the clothes. "I never meant to let any of this happen."

A smile crossed Louis' face when he felt Harry wrap arms around him. Cuddling in more, he tilted head up to kiss the underside of Harry's chin then went carefully up on tiptoes to kiss those lips he'd been missing.

"Calm down.. your aunt made a comment. She warned me if i pulled a Shirley there would be hell to pay." Laughing slightly, he didn't realize he was crying til the salty drop slid off his nose. "Let what happen, babe?"

Harry shrugged, a flash of fondness flashing through his eyes at what Louis said. Flora. It had to be. God, he loved that woman. "All of this," he said quietly, gesturing out into the darkening street like that was all the answers needed. "Me fucking Liam, us, and Aspen... Passing away."

The pain in his chest was still there at the mention of her name. He didn't think it would ever go away. She was so young, had so much left ahead of her to do, but he hadn't been cautious. He didn't check for the infection. He was too set on getting the lungs inside her to even bother checking her blood, and it was because of that she died. Many has told him they would have done the same, and it wasn't his fault, but he'd never not think it was. He killed her, for all intents and purposes. Which is why he hasn't returned to work. He was too careless. Nobody else deserved to die.

Picking up Harry's hand he kissed the palm then up to each finger. "Things happen for a reason I guess?" He didn't know why, but if it meant he would have forever with Harry then it was good. He kissed Harry's palm again then wrapped it around him again.

Louis could figure Harry was beating himself up about Aspen's death. He kissed the corner of his Dom's lip, "May I be your sub and fiance again? I promise to obey you, within reason." He joked.

Harry tipped his head back to look at the stars that began to make an appearance, that began twinkle in the sky. And when he seen one of them flare bright before receding into a tiny dot, he had his answer, as if he didn't have it before. Aspen was okay, and he needed to move on. There life had been good. It could have been better, before everything happened, but it was fine. He was good, content with life. It was different, but now it was lonely. He had to swallow back his pride, his feelings, and make it seem like he was some hard ass who wasn't fazed just so he could have the company.

The tears he'd wanted to cry wouldn't come, he wouldn't let them, though he knew Louis was crying. It was a silly thing to do. It helped nothing and made your eyes puffy and red. But it makes you feel good. But there are so many other things that can make him feel good. "Maybe," he brushed it off and for the first time in weeks, he cracked a small smile as he looked down at Louis. "There will be some things we need to discuss." Just please,don't leave me alone again. The house... it's too empty.

~~~~

A week later

Happily moved back into his rightful place, Louis was blindfolded and restrained to the bed post by soft scarves of various colors. Louis could smell the vanilla that was now both their signature scent and the rich woodsy cologne Harry always wore while Louis preferred fruit scents. Wriggling, he was completely naked and straining to hear if Harry was around - a little shuffle, cough, footstep or whatnot. "Harry?"

The room was warm, almost too warm as he felt sweat forming behind the blindfold. Rolling shoulder to try to get at it, he gave a grunt when he couldn't reach it. Getting nervous now, Louis tilted head when he thought he heard a noise, holding his breath to try to hear it again.

Harry stood at the end of the bed, admiring the boy's body as he wiggled and flushed a lovely rosy color. This past week has been.. Different, to say the least. Harry was still the same as he'd been this entire new year. He stayed home all day, drank when he knew Louis wouldn't catch on, and didn't eat at all until the boy was home. He was doing better, though. Trying. Multiple bottles of alcohol a day regressed to only one or two, and nearly full plates have become less and less full. He was still underweight, body suffering from his no eating streak, but he felt stronger. Only thing he needed to do now was get his ass back to work. Not yet. He can't yet.

"I'm right here," the older man finally spoke up, a pair of boxers stretched over his protruding hip bones. He really needed to gain weight. His stomach wasn't as sunken in, and his ribs weren't as visible, but he still looked gross his skin was pulled taut, his once very defined abs only faintly visible unless he clenched his core.

Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, he slid on his knees on the Egyptian silk sheets, his favorite during sex because they were almost impossible to sink your nails in, and nudged the thin legs apart. "I didn't leave," he quietly reassured as he bent forward, feet still slightly hanging off the edge of the bed, and nuzzled his face between the boys sensitive thighs, his scruff longer and itchy. He inhaled deeply, stomach rolling as vanilla attacked his senses. He'd never be able to smell it again, or even see a bottle of it without thinking of Louis or this moment.

Either Louis could feel the heavyweight of Harry's stare or he was paranoid as hell. Stretching out his leg, he made a noise when his toe hit something fluffy and warm. One of the kittens had snuck in and was trying to be a cock block. "Shoo precious, get off the bed." He tried to put his foot under the tiny body to urge it to the edge when a low hiss came out.

Jumping when he heard Harry, so close, his head whipped in his direction. "Mmmm.. sir?" It was by accident he'd found out Harry liked that name. Chewing on his lip, he pulled foot up to his body, stretching the other out to seek his Dom. God it felt good to call him that again.

A breathy gasp came out when he felt the prickly beard on his thighs. Swallowing hard, he willed his legs to stay spread, jiggling his encased arms in an effort to grab for the hair that wasn't there as Louis had yet to get used to the haircut. "Oh, sir..." Louis wriggled harder, sucking in a breath.

Grinning at the response, Harry pressed a delicate kiss to the inside of Louis' thigh before he moved up, nose skimming the soft skin, before he mouthed at the side of Louis' cock. It was hard and throbbing, tip swollen as it leaked precum across his thigh. Harry could feel it pulsing against his tongue, fast and angry and only picking up speed when he decided to stick his tongue out and drag it downwards to pay attention to his balls.

He opened his mouth and sucked one in, causing Louis to jerk and pull hard against the restraints, entire body tensing. "Oh, Louis," Harry breathed, silently tsking the boy. He knew of how sensitive Louis' balls were, and that combined with his enjoyment of being restrained and blindfolded, must have skyrocketed the feelings. He just wished he knew more, got a chance to really work Louis over to see what else he likes and disliked. There were so many things they could do.

"Try moving again and, regardless of your feelings towards it, I'll bring out the belt." He growled, eyes darkening slightly as they traveled up the length of the boys body to stare at the cloth covered face. He wasn't going to push his Dom side down anymore. If Louis runs or doesn't run by what he sees or find out Harry's enjoys, then great. No sweat off Harry's back.

He gave a very unmanly squeal when he felt the Dom mouth at his cock. Sucking air in through his teeth as his legs threatened to close on Harry's head. Breathing a little harder now, he shifted, fingers wiggling to touch Harry.

"Oh.. fuck.." Louis cried out when Harry took one of his balls in his mouth. "Sir.. your mouth.. yes.." His back was arching off the bed as he gave a soft moan. Harry's voice made it all the better, he loved hearing his Dom talk, especially when turned on.

Pouting at the mention of the belt, Louis went stock still. "M' being good, Harry. No need for the belt." His hand however. He gave a sly grin, head sinking back into the pillow. Was it too early to tell Harry he loved him? He already had while Harry was on the downward spiral from Aspen's death. "Sir, I love you so much."

Spine stiffening at Louis' words, Harry's mouth opened and closed as he struggled to decide what to say. He finally gave up when his brain just backfired and imaginary smoke came shooting out his ears, and went back to the task at hand to hopefully distract Louis' mind. He sucked two fingers into his mouth and drenched them in saliva before he began to assault the boys stomach with kisses and light bites, his own stomach crunched against his cock.

Circling a finger around his puckered entrance, Harry closed his teeth around on of Louis' perky buds as he shoved one finger in, stopping when he was knuckle deep. "Tell me what you want, Louis. Use your voice." Harry knew what he wanted. He wanted to tease the boy relentlessly, draw him close to his orgasm before he receded and let his high dwindle down before he did it again. Then he wanted to fuck him into oblivion, wanted to mark The boy's body to claim his possession and let all know who the fuck Louis belonged to. But not yet. He could wait.

It wasn't like Louis was expecting him to say it back, it'd be nice, but Harry was Harry and wouldn't say it. If he did, Louis would probably pass out. His head jerked up at the noise, questioning noise coming out until he felt cool and wet fingers prodding at his hole. Jerking slightly, he moaned a little louder, body pliant.

"Ungh...GOD!" Harry had never paid attention to his nipples before. They were swollen and painful, but Harry's warm mouth was making him forget about being uncomfortable. "I want.. you, just you, I don't care..." It'd been way too long without Harry. Without sex. Rolling body when Harry pushed his finger in knuckle deep, Louis whined, "Please.. do anything, I beg of you."

He almost got away with it, with just brushing off the question with breathy gasps and moans, claiming to be fine with whatever. But Harry wasn't having it. Flicking his tongue over the bud, he began to pump his finger in and out of Louis' hole in sync with his body moving, tensing to give the boy some friction on his cock, even if he was actually just more or less fucking the subs penis with his stomach.

"I could stop all this right now and lay next to you, giving you my company. Be more specific, Louis. What do you want me to do?" his voice was forced between parted teeth, the crack barely there due to Louis' nipple still captured in his mouth. He closed his lips and sucked, tongue swirling before flicking as he added a second finger.

Louis was a mess. So much was going on that he almost forgot how to speak. Rolling hips against Harry's finger, he licked over his lips and wiggled hand. "I want.. my hand free to touch you.." He groaned at the friction on his cock, feet curving upward.

"Don't you dare stop, Harry Edward." Louis all but growled. Feeling the second finger, he began to grind against them, feeling his orgasm starting to peak. "Oh god, I want you to fuck me, please? Rough as hell." As rough as they could with the bump in between them.

Harry pulled up, leaving a trail of slobber on the boys chest, and grinned down at him though he couldn't see. "That was all you had to ask." Stretching forgotten, he removed his fingers and suddenly grasped Louis' ass, hands kneading the soft flesh as he pulled his body down, arm restraints becoming tighter, and rest his ass on his upper knees.

The last person Harry fucked was Liam, but he tried not to remember that as he pulled his cock from his boxers and gave it a few strokes, smearing his precum and saliva down his shaft before he lined himself up with Louis' hole and shoved in. He gasped in a shaky breath, hands tightening around the boys cheeks to the point there would definitely be bruises there. He was too tight, too warm, and feeling very much like a virgin, Harry's orgasm spiked to the point he was nearly falling over the edge.

The tightening of the arm restraints made Louis flinch, he was going to have marks from them cutting into the skin, but they were small reminders of Harry and he wore them proudly. Feeling empty for the moment, a low whine came out as he knew Harry was right there, he wiggled his foot until it hit the side of Harry's leg.

Feeling Harry push in made a pained noise escape. It had been way too long for these two. "Hard, babe. Please?" Louis swallowed, his throat getting tight as tears went down his cheeks as he got slightly emotional again. Shifting, he brought legs up to tentatively wrap around Harry's waist, pulling him closer.

When Louis moved, nudging Harry's cock deeper inside him, the older man gritted his teeth and closed his eyes tightly. It was too fucking much. The pleasure was a heated knife in his stomach, a reminder he has only ever felt that pulling sensation with Louis. With other people it was only about fucking. They never took their time, too eager to get the others clothes off, but with Louis it was different. And the fact that Harry was willingly accepting that terrified him. It was never even like this with Shirley.

Moving his hands to grip the boys thighs, thumbs pressing against the underside of his swelling belly, Harry pulled his hips back and snapped them forward, a searing burning sensation shooting through his veins. "Fuck, Louis," he gasped, wanting to claw at his skin to release the fire beneath it. He could feel every ripple of pleasure that shot throughout Louis' body, transferring it to Harry's through the place they were connected.

Louis was making soft little breathy noises as his orgasm started to grow. He flexed his arms, wanting badly to touch Harry with his hands. "Harry.. Please.. can I have my hands free?" He had already been wiggling his nose to the point where he could see a tiny bit of light under the blindfold and some movement, he just wasn't able to make out anything.

Feeling Harry's thumbs on his belly, Louis smirked and tilted head in what direction he thought his Dom was in. "Fuck is right.. I'm close.." He whimpered when his own shock of pleasure ripped through him making his body heat up and a warm sensation start between his legs. "I wanna kiss, Harry. Please?"

Not giving the boy what he wanted, Harry braced his arms on either side of Louis, baracadding his body beneath his, and gave into his instincts. He began to pound into him, headboard smacking against the wall as flesh pressed against flesh. He could feel Louis' body heating up, turning a lovely rosy color. It was a tell tale sign that he was close, and Harry wanted so badly to just draw this out. But the hunger grew, and the need to release became too strong. He couldn't hold himself back any longer, and if he's being honest, he didn't really want to.

Finally giving in, he moved his lips to press against Louis'. The kiss started out sloppy, teeth clanking together before they got in a rhythm and managed to move their lips in sync to the thrusts. Sweat glistened across his skin, and he felt as those strings deep within his stomach began to pull again, making him their puppets and forcing him to go faster, harder, until he was breathless and his moans masked the sound of skin slapping against skin. He'd missed this, this connection they had. From day one this is something they've always been good at doing. Even when their bodies were strangers, they seemed to know how to move with one another and create a song so beautiful and pleasing, one Harry refused to hear until now.

A soft OH came out when Harry picked up speed and started thrusting into him harder. His head fell back as his hips moved to match the rhythm of Harry's, "Fucking hell.. " Louis moaned loudly when the thrusts hit a certain bundle of nerves, his vision was getting blurry behind the blindfold. He was getting closer and closer. "Harry.." Louis couldn't hold back as he came between them, white painting their bodies.

And there it was, the kiss he'd been waiting for. Hungrily pressing into the Dom's lips, his own moving to taste every bit of them, wanting to get to know Harry again. Realizing Harry hadn't come yet, Louis started pushing harder into the surgeon, despite how sensitive his cock was from his release, but wanting to feel Harry's cum filling him up.

A groan filled Louis' mouth as Harry's hips stuttered and thrusts became shallow and sloppy. Eyebrows furrowed and eyes screwed shut as Harry allowed the pleasure to consume him, and with one last lazy thrust, he was coming, hands trying desperately to fist at the sheets but all that happened was his fingernails scratched the surface. He filled Louis to the brink, the boy clenching tightly around the Dom and milking him for all he had to offer.

Spent, Harry collapsed off to the side of the bed after he slowly withdrew from Louis, body sweaty and over aware of everything around him. The silk felt like wood chips grinding into his body and slicing his nerves. His boxers were constricting and hugging all the wrong places, and Louis' arm pressed against his felt too light, too hot. "Jesus," Harry mumbled, chest rising and falling quickly as he struggled to catch his breath.

When the Dom came, Louis was breathless as he felt himself being filled to the brim. When Harry tightened around him, Louis clenched to keep him inside, breathing heavily. Wishing he could see Harry, Louis shook head to make the blindfold slide up more, allowing one eye to become uncovered.

Suddenly he felt empty again, his body was immensely cooler without another on top. He swallowed, lips and throat dry as he rolled the best he could to his side, "Jesus had nothing to do with it. And can I get untied, your daughter is sitting on my bladder."

Rolling his eyes, Harry pushed up on weak arms and quickly pulled a shirt over his head, just to be cautious and not let Louis stare too long, then he untied the ropes and sucked in air through his teeth when he seen the red, angry marks around the boys wrists that were starting to bruise. "Told you you shouldn't have pulled so hard," he said, ducking head as he hurried to the dresser and pulled out a pair of sweats. Once again, he had to pull the drawstrings tighter than he normally did.

"Indian, right?" Without waiting for a response, Harry grabbed his phone and left the room, quickly taking the stairs down to the living room where he plopped down on the couch and curled into a ball with his body pressed to the arm rest. He needed distance right now and hoped Louis understood, even if he did just run out of the room after their first time having sex since the break-up. Whoops.

Examining his wrists, he gave a shrug. No blood had been drawn so it was all good. Too late, Louis was openly staring, especially when the taller male bent over. Harry did not have an ass at all. Reaching out, he poked the dom on an ass cheek then hurried away to give in to the princess in his belly's demands.

"Indian what? I hate Indian food!" Emerging from the bathroom, he gave a sigh. Harry was nowhere in sight. "Nice. What if I wanted after sex cuddles?" Leaving the room, he went to the one he deemed the cats and sat down next to the sleeping mama cat and kittens. Mimsy was nowhere in sight, being jealous of prior preggy kitty and her babies. Reaching over, he picked up his favorite kitten, the calico, and cuddled her against his chest. He hasn't thought of the perfect name for her yet.

Placing their order, Harry leaned back on the couch and threw an arm over his eyes, sighing deeply as he began to see stars and multiple colors behind his closed eyelids. Kicking his feet out, he let them rest on the table and just relaxed, listening to the empty house ricotech and echo with tiny little meows and little paws clicking against the floor.

Then a weight was suddenly landing on his stomach, light but still there and claws sunk into the soft flesh. Removing his arm, he poked Cleo in the side of her belly and grinned when the kitten retaliated by sinking her claws further into his stomach and curling them, making the wounds sting. "Ow, ya arse. I treat you with love and this is how you repay me?" Shaking his head, he cuddled into the kitten when she climbed up his chest and curled into a tiny little ball on his chest. She still hasn't learned how to purr yet, and her fur was still that overly soft fluff that tickled his neck. "I'm still getting rid of you first." As if. The cat has her claws sunk into him in more than one way.

Watching the three other kittens suddenly wake up and scatter made Louis chuckle. The bells attached to their collars jingled as they fell over each other in their attempt to escape. When Cleo was the first to disappear, Louis knew exactly where she went. "Should we go find your sister?" Louis asked the calico as it crawled onto his shoulder to burrow into his neck making him shudder from the sensation of the tiny cold nose and sharp whiskers.

Slowly getting to his feet to not knock her off, he padded down the hallway, seeing another kitten batting at one of Harry's shoes. He snorted and kept going until he found Harry and Cleo. "And I remember you saying you weren't a cat man." He sat next to Harry, reaching out to pet Cleo. The calico gave a meow and jumped from her perch to land on Cleo. Louis eyed Harry, but decided not to say anything as he grabbed phone from his pocket.

Harry buried his mouth in the kittens side to hide half of his face as he snapped his eyes closed, trying hard not to give Louis the reaction he wanted. "Didn't think I'd be," he said, shoulder lifting in a half shrug that upset Cleo, who jumped from his shoulder and took off running down the hallway with the calico one. "She just kind of grows on you," he picked at the loose string on his pants and chanced a glance up at Louis, who was too interested in his phone screen to pay attention to him.

Deciding to be an annoying little pest like Louis was all the time, Harry crawled across the couch and weaseled his way onto the boys lap, legs hugging either side of Louis' as he straddled him. He smiled down at him, grinning when he seen him roll his eyes and puff his lips out in an over dramatic exhalation. "What are you doing?" He asked, stepping the game up as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on the underside of his jaw, followed by a few more chased with the scratch of his growing beard. Oh... This is actually quite nice...

Tiny paws scrambling away with meows made Louis look up for a second then back down at the phone. He still had to name the calico. A hand went up to scratch at his ear as he shifted to bring a leg up when he got a lapful of Harry. He put the phone down and was about to say something when Harry started kissing him, his whiskers against the sensitive skin making a familiar tingle up his spine as he fought a moan.

"Holy.." Louis breathed out. A hand found it's place on Harry's hip while the other dipped between his dom's legs to rub at him. Was Harry making up for the sex they'd missed while apart? "Your beard...never shave it." He moved his hand to Harry's chin to gently scratch at it then buried it in the older man's chocolate locks, missing the curls but the short hair suited him.

Smiling, Harry scooted further up Louis' lap so his crotch was pressing against the boy's stomach before he settled back on his lap, making sure not to put all his weight. He was momentarily shocked to feel something so large and round pressing against him, but quickly realized what it was, or rather who, and made up for his hesitation with a kis below the ear. "Didn't plan on it," he mumbled, grinning slyly as he brought a hand between their two bodies and began to grope Louis through the material of his pants.

"Why did you forgive me, Louis?" He asked suddenly, but didn't pause with his efforts to get the boy mindless and lax. He was a fuck up, a really big fuck up who has made so many mistakes... Yet Louis always comes back. "I'm an asshole." who doesn't deserve Louis.

It was weird that when Harry moved, the baby figured out who it was by voice, and gave a couple kicks. Laughing slightly, Louis shuddered, head tilting to give Harry better access to his neck if he so desired. "Harry.. never thought you'd be horny again," Louis swallowed hard as he dug fingers into Harry's hair and gave a tug, as he pushed his crotch into Harry's hand.

Shaking head, Louis breathed in through his nose, sitting upright again to press a kiss to Harry's lips. "I love you, that's why. I didn't really realise it until this shit happened." Louis smiled slightly and pointed at his round belly, "Plus, we are bringing her into the world and I'd rather she have two parents who live under the same roof."

Harry licked over his lips that still tingled with the weight from Louis' and looked down at the bump squished between their two bodies. "But I cheated and I'm constantly a dick. I can't commit to this, and you know that. Nothing I do, or you, will ever make what I did go away. And I'm sorry," it was the first time he has ever really apologized out loud. Though Louis could see it in his eyes everytime he found them staring at him, or the way Harry would sink in on himself at the mention of Liam or sex or something related to those topics. He regretted it, and was honest to god sorry.

Emotions clouded his eyes, haunting yet entrapping as they gazed into Louis', swimming pupils trapped in a whirlpool of green. "I'm sorry," he repeated in a whisper, hand moving to cup the boys cheek. The rough pad of his thumb drug across Louis' bottom lip, removing the light layer of salvia the two have managed to smear there.

Leaning into Harry's touch, he closed eyes and closed lips to kiss at the thumb then let eyes open, tears shining in them. "Thank you for saying that. I didn't expect it," Nuzzling his hand much like their cats would do, he wrapped cool fingers around Harry's wrist to kiss at it, then pushed to press his lips against Harry's.

"Stop saying you can't, only quitters say that." Taking Harry's free hand, he laced his fingers through it then placed their hands on his growing belly. "I.. might not trust you completely right now, or for awhile," Forever. His mind whispered, making Louis shake his head. The man was a lover, not a fighter and learned the hard way not to forgive so easily. One step at time. "I do love you, but you have to earn it again."

He curled his fingers testingly, moving them over the bump before he smiled softly and looked up at Louis. "You're fucking weird," Harry mumbled, needing the moment to end. It was too strong, too real. He couldn't handle the words he was expected to say hovering over his head like a thick black cloud of smoke snaking into his mouth.

Removing himself, all long limbs gangly and trying to untangle themselves, Harry fell ass first off the couch just as the doorbell rang. "God dammit." He growled, rubbing his assbone as he stood up and pushed Louis back on the couch with a single finger, giving him a pointed look. Grabbing some cash from the vase in the foyer, Harry opened the door, shocked to find that not only was Zayn and Liam there, but also the delivery man who had bags stacked in his arms. "Ugh," he was frozen in place, not knowing what to do until the man cleared his throat. Thawing, Harry handed him the money then took the few bags and box he was offered.

"Move the fuck out of the way, you giant ogre. We need to talk, and hopefully work this shit out," Zayn growled, glaring at Harry as he pushed past him, a possessive hand curled around Liam's wrist to drag him right along. "Come to close to me though and I'll cut your fucking hai..." he cut off abruptly as he turned to face Harry, eyes widening when he seen the lack of hair on his head. "You cut your fucking hair and have a beard? What the fuck? Whatever. I'll cut your leg off and use it to kick your ass with."

"Am not, asshole," Louis murmured. When the doorbell rang, he gave a groan and moved to push Harry off and get up, when he was pushed back down. "Hey! What did the look mean?" He made a confused noise then brought shoulders up in a shrug when all four kittens came running in at once, Cleo launching herself off Louis to the top of the couch. "The hell's your problem, Devil cat?" Scooting forward, he scooped up one of the males and kissed it's head. "Shut up, Cleo."

Gasping when he heard Zayn's voice, Louis jumped to his feet and rushed to give him a hug, forgetting about the animal in his arms until the cat gave an angry noise. "Oops.. sorry, kitty." The smile faded when he saw Liam standing there, a low growl coming from his throat mimicking the noise Cleo had made. "No shit in the house!"

Harry kicked the door shut with his foot and rolled his eyes at Zayn's threat. Like he was scared. "Louis, nice. I'm more at fault than Liam," turning to Louis, he narrowed his eyes for a second then jerked his head towards the dining room. "All the knives have already been locked up. Did that when Louis moved back in, so you guys are more than welcome to join us in the dining room so we can discuss the shit show that our lives have turned in to."

He wasn't happy that Zayn or Liam was here, but he was trying trying not to let it show as he set their food down on the table and set down, tired eyes closing for a second. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled it, feeling as his heart already began to pick up speed. He was fine, he could talk like a reasonable adult if these childish imps didn't start too big of a fight.

Narrowing eyes, he bared teeth at Liam. "Don't care." He stared at the puppy-looking male, closing his mouth then pointed at Zayn with his chin. "He's too good for you you piece of shit." His hand went out to grab Zayn's to tug him into the living room for a second. "The hell you thinking bringing that over here? Harry and I are barely at a starting point. He did say sorry, but it's going to take awhile." Letting the kitten down, he ran hand through his hair.

It still hurt that Louis wouldn't look his way. A hurt noise came out when Louis made that declaration. "Well, I don't think he's ever going to forgive me." Liam didn't dare go near Harry. He chose to stand there, feeling awkward and wishing Zayn hadn't dragged him over. "Um, okay." It was too awkward and he wanted to run out the door and not stop.

Harry ignored them, already too hyped up to get involved in their fight. Pouring himself a cup of wine, he sighed when he took the first sip and felt as his jittery muscles already begun to calm. Sitting down at the head of the table, furthest from the living room, he popped open one of the containers he pulled from the bag and wrinkled his nose when the powerful scent of something hot shot through his nose and burned it.

Coughing, he set the mystery dish aside and jumped when he heard something shattering. "I do not give a flying fuck how mad you two are, or how big of a pussy you are," he pointed a finger at Louis and Zayn, then Liam," you are all guests in my home, and do not think for one moment I will not throw you out and refuse to allow either of you to see Louis," Harry yelled as soon as he walked into the frontroom and seen his vase, which was once sitting on the stand next to the couch, was now in pieces next to the back-door. "Now, all of you pull on your big boy fucking panties and get yet arses in there and eat. And before you even think about spouting some shit off and being a dick or refusing, just know I am not in the mood.

The sound of something breaking made Louis rush from where he was making coffee in the kitchen. "You idiot, that was one of Harry's favourite vases!" He pointed at himself when Harry pointed at him then turned to glare at Liam. "I wouldn't care if I never had to see Liam again," Louis went to grab a dustpan and broom, kneeling to pick up the pieces carefully.

When he went to dump the dustpan, he grabbed his coffee and brought it to the table to sit beside Harry. Crinkling nose at the powerful smelling carton next to Harry, he shook his head and looked in the rest, "I'm not hungry." Sipping at his coffee, he pointed out where the glasses were to Zayn and turned to stand up, folding leg on the chair and then sitting his bum on it.

Harry glared at the two remaining males before he stalled into the dining room and set down again. Opening a bag, and flicking Louis off when he said he wasn't hungry, he pull out a mild noodle dish with beef in it and handed it to Louis. "Eat." He wasn't hungry, either, but to please the boy he took a large bite out of the mystery carton and choked it down, even if it did make tears spring to his eyes and throat feel like it was on fire.

One of you arseholes going to tell me why you're here?" Harry asked, washing down the food with a large sip of wine that replaced the peppers with something sweeter. He glanced up at Liam and Zayn as the two quietly approached the table, the first being more cautious that the latter. Little bitch.

Louis glowered at Harry, picking up the fork to poke at the noodles and roll them around the utensil, more playing than actually eating. Flicking eyes up when he saw Harry take a bite out of the spicy smelling dish, he gave a sigh. "We are sleeping with the windows open. I have a feeling that's going to come back and bite you in the ass," Louis sniffed at a piece of beef then took it off his fork to offer to whatever cat was brushing against him.

Pushing elbow on the table, then resting chin on hand, he looked at Zayn then at Liam. "He's waiting and very impatient so I'd spit it out." Zayn sat down next to Louis with a drink while Liam remained standing, staring more at the table than anyone.

Zayn glanced between the three males before he rolled his eyes and stole the carton of food from in front of Harry, not knowing what the dish was but also not caring. He was a petty bitch and just wanted to steal all of his things. "You fucked my boyfriend, and my boyfriend fucked you. We can't fucking forget it, but I also don't want to hang on to the anger I have anymore. Doesn't mean I won't still hate you, you hairy Jack the skeleton."

Harry raised an eyebrow and moved to grab some chicken dish with the words Tikka Masala scrolled across the plastic top in black sharpie. It was some sort of chicken in a creamy base and tomatoes. "And you needed to come all the way here to make that announcement?" He asked, popping a piece of the chicken in his mouth. It was actually really good, with a slight kick to it but not overly spicy like the rest.

His head shot up when Zayn called him hairy jack the skeleton, raising an eyebrow while trying to figure out exactly what that insult is. Eyeing the noodles, he twirled more on his fork, trying to see how many he could get twirled around. He saw Harry watching him and leaned forward to nibble on the wad then purposely licked at it swirling tongue around with a wink. He was a little shit.

Zayn was making him nervous. He looked at him again, pushing the beef and noodles to him. "Can we eat without fighting? It's bad for digestion." He flicked a piece of beef at Cleo, who was sitting at Harry's feet, meowing loudly.

Liam eyed the seat next to Zayn but didn't sit down, wanting to be good and wait for permission. He didn't want to push his boyfriend and have him leave again. His life had been hell, and he was lucky he even got a second chance. He just needed Lou to forgive him now, but he doubted he ever would. "Louis?" Liam questioned quietly, voice timid as he glanced up. "H-Harry was as much as fault as I was, yet you forgive him? Why? Why can't you forgive me? I've apologized, and I know that will never change anything, but I have a proposition for you."

Everyone went silent when Liam began to talk, and before Louis could speak up Harry was interjecting. "What is this proposition?" His head cocked to the side, Zayn and his conversation forgotten. He was tired of waiting for the brown haired man to get to the point. If someone else was willing to talk, then Harry was game, even if he wasn't supposed to be talking to him.

"I forgave Harry yes, but not completely. He has to earn everything all over again.. my trust, love, everything." Louis looked at Harry when he said that. Turning back to look at Liam, his eyes got dark, expression stormy. "Maybe because I've been best friends with you for fucking forever and I thought that meant something, but apparently not. The fuck happened to brothers? You betrayed me!" He slammed his fork on the table, food went flying and cats scrambled to get what they could.

Zayn slowly pointed at the chair next to him for the sub to sit. He didn't know what was going through Liam's mind right now, but he also didn't want a fight to happen. "Spit it out, Liam. But I warn you, you upset anybody and your ass is cherry red when we get home. I've been too lenient with you and that needs to stop."

Harry smirked at the mention of a punishment and flicked eyes to Louis, or more to his red wrists. He was surprised nobody had noticed them, or the marks littered across his neck and chest. Oh, Louis with a cherry red ass. Harry has been too lenient too, needed to spread his wings and fuck Louis' mind will all of his real punishments. "Yeah, Liam, spit it out. Nobody wants a cherry red arse."

Liam glared across the table at Harry, amazed he had enough balls to even talk to him when Zayn was literally sitting right next to him. Clearing his throat and moving to sit up straighter in his seat, moving eyes to Louis. "You can fuck either Zayn or Emily. Think of it as your way of getting even."

The mention of punishment made Louis squirm as he too looked at his wrists and rubbed at them. He should have worn a longer sleeved shirt. Lifting an eyebrow at Harry, he shook his head. Silently telling him to not get any ideas. But who was he to tell his Dom what to do.

Wrong moment to take a sip of his drink as Louis' eyes got wide and he started choking on his coffee, spitting half of it onto the table and probably Harry. Gasping for air, he coughed and grabbed to take another drink. "Oh fuck no.." Louis' voice was raspy. If he fucked Zayn, and he'd definitely pick Zayn because girls were not his forte, a whole new fight would ensue.

Harry was calm, too calm as he set down his fork and picked up his glass of wine. Only thing to be heard aside from him gulping down the remainder of his wine was every other persons shallow, uneven breaths. Zayn was glaring at Liam with daggers that would surely cut if they were real, and Louis was mopping up his mess of coffee, silently apologizing to Harry with every silent, worried glance he threw his way.

"You thought that was a good idea, did you?" He asked, tongue snaking between his lips to collect the sweet, but bitter droplets of bright red wine that lingered on his lips. "You're out of your fucking mind if you think I'm going to let this snowflake fuck him." He gestured towards Zayn with a flick of his wrist, heated eyes flicking over to him before they found Liam again. He knew Louis wouldn't fuck Emily, he was too big of a fucking sub. Then again, wasn't Emily Liam's Dom?

The feeling of coffee coming out his nasal passage wasn't comfortable, though Lord knows he's snorted worse. Rubbing at his nose, he finished mopping up the puddles then tossed the soggy napkins on the table beside his plate. Scratching at his neck, Louis bit off a tiny piece of noodle and chewed.

Zayn scoffed when Harry called him a snowflake, but didn't say anything. Turning attention to the now beet red sub, he shook head. "Why would you suggest that? First of all, you have no business offering me up for anything, and two, Louis and I having sex would complicate things even farther." Tapping fingers on the table, he looked at Harry, "As much as I dislike you, I think you should help with his punishment. He seemed to like your hands on him, so how would you like to make his ass cherry red?"

Finally, a time he agreed with Zayn about something that didn't involve drugs or alcohol. Returning his steady gaze, Harry's eyes darkened incredibly as his jaw locked, body going rigid in his seat. "Help how?" He wasn't really suggesting the Dom to a completely different sub took action to correct his own sub, was he? The same Dom he claimed to hate, and seems to have a lot to say about? It takes a lot for someone to offer their sub away like this, so either Zayn really didn't love Liam as much as he claims he does, or he really is just at his wits ends.

He didn't know how he felt about all of this, about having three pairs of eyes focused on him, waiting for his response. He would never agree to do such a thing, but then again, he never thought he'd fuck Liam either. This is entirely different and you know it. To silence the screaming voice trapped in his mind, Harry grabbed the entire bottle of wine and just drank straight from it, the time it would take to pour it into a glass far too long.

Louis was so glad he wasn't on the receiving end of the punishment, a cherry red ass didn't sound fun. Looking at Zayn then at Harry, he got up to put his coffee cup in the sink. Reaching up, he grabbed a water glass and filled it with some Pepsi. "Anybody need a refill while I'm here?" Even though he was the one drinking soda and everyone else was drinking wine. Louis grabbed the second bottle and brought it out with him.

Zayn smiled when Louis sat down, putting a hand on his friend's air. "Thought the punishment should fit the crime? Ball gag his mouth shut for say an hour while he wears a cock cage and vibrating butt plug?" No, he didn't have it all planned out, it was a punishment he'd heard about and wanted to find the best time to use it. "And I want your help because he cheated on me with you."

"Um, I'm going to grab some Tylenol." Louis jumped up and ran out of the room to their ensuite to grab some painkillers. They didn't need him present for that, did they?

Harry snorted and ran a hand through his hair, memories of his own punishment similar to that floating to mine. Louis' ended with an orgasm brought on by his own hands, though he had a feeling Liam's would end very differently. "You're fucking sick, Malik. I'm not helping you do shit. I fucked him, and that's that. I'm not going to sit in the kitchen and play house with you to find a punishment best fit for him, or even help with the actual punishing." Crossing his arms over his chest, Harry raised an eyebrow and stared Zayn dead in the eye. He couldn't believe the balls on this guy.

Liam was a squirming mess in his seat, torn between arousal at the idea of being punished, and fear at the actual punishment. He was still fairly new to getting punished and what not, but Zayn always went soft. This time, though, he wasn't sure the brown haired man would show mercy. "Zayn, I don't want Harry. I want you." As if to prove the point, Liam squirmed in his chest again and flushed when his Dom looked down at his lap and seen the growing bulge hidden from Harry's view. Good, he thought, that fuckers seen and done enough. I don't want him anywhere near me. Though his obvious weight-loss was a little worrying, Liam pushed aside his doctor instincts and caring nature and let the hate he felt for Harry fester in his heart.

When Louis didn't hear yelling, he walked back down to the dining room. He stood off to the side, watching Liam squirm and Harry look like he wanted to kill someone. Looking at Zayn, he raised an eyebrow when his friend reached out and grabbed his hand. "A sick man? I bet you've done something similar to Louis here." Louis blinked, wanting to be away from him, looking desperately at Harry. "I didn't mean I was going to let you touch him there, I meant beating his ass beet red to the point where he can't sit down without a pillow."

Cringing, Louis looked to Liam. He didn't feel sorry for the man, but the thought of how much it would burn afterwards was enough to make Louis slightly queasy. He shook off Zayn's hand and moved to slide onto Harry's lap, turning to face him and lay head on his chest. Zayn sighed and motioned for Liam to stand up. "We're leaving. Go get your coat and shoes on."

Harry watched the man for a second, trying to see if he was joking or even just being a dick. But then Zayn said they were leaving, and with one look at the man Harry could see how done he was with everything. "I won't help you with the actual punishment," he said, ignoring Liam as he stood from his seat and ran into the foyer to get his shoes and coat. "But I will help you think of a punishment."

God knows what was going through Zayn's head, or how he could honestly justify asking for someone else to punish his sub. Of course he would deny ever asking it now, but he had. "And can you stop being so touchy feely with my fiancé? You got your chance with him." And I'll break your fucking finger if you touch him again.

Liam looked sick still. He had his coat and shoes on, but didn't know if he wanted to go back in the dining room or wait out there for Zayn. He chose the latter and was in the process of opening the door, when a knock was heard. Since Liam was right there, he opened it to reveal Ashton, Luke, and Michael.

"The fuck you doing here, relationship killer?" Ashton asked, shoving past the sub to come in unannounced, the other two following as they went for the dining room. "Hey Haz, Louis.." Ashton nodded at the sub.

Peeking head out, Louis gave a sigh. Great. Everyone and their mother was coming over. He gave Harry a look as he leaned up to kiss the underside of his chin then laid head on his chest again.

"He was my friend before he was your fiance, you whore." Zayn spit out, not realizing anyone was behind him until he heard Ashton's voice. "He'd be better off with me."

Harry hasn't invited anyone over, so he was surprised to see as three new bodies came waddling their way into the dining room. Momentarily stuck between the need to be a good host, and wanting to bash Zayn's face in, Harry finally pushed Louis behind him and glared at the man standing across from him. "He would, would he? Do you know why Liam cheated? Because you didn't fuck him enough. Do you really think Louis could live like that with you? Sex once or twice a week?" Laughing, Harry pushed a few chairs out of the way and moved to stand inches from Zayn.

"As I said before, you're a guest. One more fucking thing comes out of your mouth and I'll rip out your tongue before throwing you out. And Louis will never be allowed to see you again." he wasn't backing down, even when Zayn took a step closer and made it so their chests bumped together. Fucking prick.

Louis made a noise. "But, but, you.. no, I have to see Zayn." Pouting slightly, it turned into a growl when Liam came rushing in and tried to push the two men apart. Without thinking, Louis brought a hand up to grab Liam's arm and squeeze. "Don't.. touch.. my.. baby." He brought his hand back and punched Liam in the face, a dejavus of when he punched Kyle. Same hand, same exploding pain as he gave a whimper and ducked behind Harry to suck on his knuckles.

It was true though, Harry and Louis were like rabbits. Nuzzling face into the back of Harry's shirt, he slid a hand down to rub over his ass, giving it a hard squeeze. "Speaking of.. " Louis turned to stare at the three new men. "Leave. Harry and I have some bunny-ing to do!"

Shoving Louis away from the middle of all this when Zayn took another step forward, Harry grabbed the man by the neck of his shirt and pushed him backwards. Zayn stumbled a few feet back, but caught himself when he fell into Michael. "You're pissed Louis forgave me, aren't you? You can't stand the thought of your best friend being with me. Why is that? Is it because you know your little boy toy would bend over backwards just to fuck me again, or because I'm more important to Louis now?" Harry didn't know why he was egging him on, why he thought it would be a good idea to piss Zayn off, but damn did it feel good to see his face contort with anger.

He glanced at his friends and gestured over his shoulder at Louis, Liam and Michael getting the hint seconds later. He didn't want the boy in here if anything broke out, and he didn't doubt the hot head would start a fist fight. Luke was the first to step around them, hand going to rest on the small of Louis' back. "Come on, yeah? Why don't we go play with the kittens?"

His eyes got wide, looking between Harry and Zayn. Torn between them, he continued to suck on his knuckles. "Hey.. no need to shove Zay -," Louis misjudged his step and knocked into Harry, making the taller one topple slightly until Louis reached out to steady him. That was much too easy, Harry usually outweighed him by a few pounds.

Ignoring it for the moment, he took Luke's offered hand to be lead away from the group and to the other room where a pile of fluffy kittens were laying. All fuzzy heads looked up at the same time as a chorus of meows overtook the quiet room and the animals climbed over each other to get to Louis when he sat. "Hi babies!"

Harry ended up bumping into Zayn when Louis hit into him, and once Zayn knew the boy wasn't in the room anymore, he swung. Harry didn't flinch, didn't back down or cower as he seen the fist flying closer. He was actually welcoming the pain the punch would bring, wanted it to distract him from everything else, but it never came. Michael had caught Zayn's arm by the elbow and steered his fist towards a wall, where it came just sort from hitting it.

"Touch him, fuck face, and I don't care who you are or what you mean to anyone. I'll bury your fucking ass," Michael growled into Zayn's ear, pinning one of his arms behind his back. "Either you turn around and walk away, and never return, or you suck up your damn pride and talk this shit through. They cheated, they fucked up, but beating each other's asses won't change that. No matter how good it feels."

Luke had excused himself to walk back into the room, eyebrow raising at Michael holding back Zayn. "What's up, guys?" Looking over his shoulder, he lowered voice. "What happened, Mikey?" He would have asked Harry, but the surgeon looked fit to be tied as he shot daggers at the dark-haired male.

"Fine. Let's talk this through. Harry should go first since he's one of the guilty ones." Zayn grimaced when Michael pulled his arm back. "But, do know that you don't deserve that man in the other room. He's too good for you."

It wasn't easy for Harry to pull himself back and sit down, but after a war brewing deep in his eyes, his emerald orbs finally cleared and he collapsed back in one of the wooden chairs and made the legs scrap against the hardwood floor. "Explain, why don't you? Why don't I deserve Louis?" His arms folded on top of his stomach as his feet came to curl beneath his body, toes curling into his barely-there-bum.

"You seem to have so much to say about me, yet you're always so vague and try to be the mysterious bad ass. Well, come on Mr. Dark and dangerous. Speak your mind, tell me why I'm so fucking bad for Louis." Even as the words left his mouth he could hear the responses Zayn would remark with. They all had to focus around his sleeping habits, or refusal to commit or open up. But he doesn't see or know shit. He's as clueless about Louis' and Harry's relationship, as he is with his and Liam's. Jesus Christ. Can't these headaches in a meat suits go away already?

An Incredulous look came over Zayn's face. Harry was going to let him speak or was he going to mindlessly tune him out? Opening mouth then closing it, he studied the male in front of him then got closer, "Do you actually love Louis or is this because you have to? He deserves the best in the world, his upbringing was atrocious. You met Kyle!"

Sighing, Louis got up from playing with the kittens to wander to the kitchen. He hadn't eaten much and it was catching up to him. Eyeing Zayn and Harry, he grabbed the first carton he saw and started to dig into it. He was not trying to get caught being nosey, but Louis wanted to know what his best friend and future husband were talking about.

"Have I not tried giving him the best!?" Harry asked, rising on to two unsteady feet. "I've engaged him, moved him into my home, put food in his stomach and clothes on his fucking back. I can't change the past, Zayn and I certainly can't change what I've done, but you'd be fucking stupid to think I don't care about him. Hell, I let his assholle friends hang around to make him happy because I know I can't." Swiping a hand across the table, Harry watched as a carton of food went flying and made the sauce splatter across the floor and wall.

His chest was heaving and his eyes wild. He glared at all the people in the room surrounding them, not seeing Louis who was hidden behind the wall that seperated the kitchen and dining room. What he just admitted hadn't clicked in his brain yet, but let it all be damned to hell. He was tired of running, of hiding and burying things. "I can't unfuck Liam, and I can't take back anything that I've said. All I can do is prove that I'm done and I'm trying. You don't have to believe me, but I don't expect you to. The only person in here I need to even care about what I'm saying is Louis."

It was the hormones, Louis would tell anyone later, but he burst into tears upon Harry's confession. Dropping his own carton, he rubbed over his bump, leaning against the wall to eavesdrop more. He wanted to jump his Dom so badly, but groping and such wasn't for mixed company. But, when did Louis ever care?

Zayn didn't even engage the fact that Harry had basically called him an asshole when he'd called the man worse, so had Liam and Louis. "That's all I was waiting for. Sort of." Shaking head, he didn't see when Louis walked in, wanting to go straight to Harry when he saw the mess on the wall and floor.

Michael, Luke and Ashton slowly backed out of the dining room, then the three made a run for the door and Liam and Zayn followed behind them. They were all stupid for coming here tonight, but they needed to push Harry and have the dickwad realize he's being stupid and was going to lose Louis again unless he admitted something, anything. It wasn't all planned, either. The night just worked in their favor.

Harry watched as everyone left, eyes hooded as he tried to control his rapid, rugged breaths. He was still pissed off, still hurt and still confused, but when Louis wrapped his arms around his waist it was all momentarily forgotten as Harry folded his body forward to bury his face in the soft stretch of skin across the boys neck that he could easily get lost in. Vanilla overpowered his sense of smell as Louis completely took over the rest, and he gave in easily. He welcomed the boy for the... First time ever? "Let's go to bed," he mumbled, dragging lips across Louis' neck before he pulled back and took his hand.

It may not have been the ideal night, or went how any of them expected it, but it was ending the same exact way both Harry and Louis missed, even if they didn't admit it. They both found themselves laying on the bed, Louis' small body curled up against Harry's as warmth cocooned them and sleep overtook them. It was easy, really. The fall. It was almost like falling asleep. Harry just has to realize it isn't a dream.