~ Chapter 3 ~ A Text and A Decision

Glancing down at my phone and seeing the very number that was carved deep within my brain and that I had hoped would never show up again sent a wave of hot fire panic through my system. Gasping loudly as I jumped up from the couch I was sitting on, I dropped the phone as if it was molten lava burning the soft skin of my palm. Memories buried by my own doing began to trickle out as I felt my body begin to tremble, my skin clammy, and my breathing became short and ragged. I could feel the walls of my lungs burning, sweat began to bead on the back of my neck and spots began to dance in front of my eyes causing me to feel the onset of hyperventilation. I placed the tips of each of my index fingers to my temple and closing my eyes I started rubbing vigorously in an attempt to stop it all the while whispering to myself calming words before it became a full on panic attack. As if this day had not been emotional enough then him sending a text message to me after all of this time had to be the cherry on top.

Easing my eyes open just enough to glance out of the corner I saw Scarlette bend down and pick up my phone that was laying at my feet. Watching her scan over the message I saw as her brow creased and then look up at me, her eyes brimming with tears and emotion. Sadness crept over her face as she lowered the phone down and lightly pitched it onto the couch as she walked over to me and engulfed me in her arms.

"How and why" I croaked out as tears fell.

"My mother just was trying to help you Em, but clearly a text message of his undying love and need to see you was not what you needed right now" she whispered as she patted my back.

"Why would he chance it" I asked her in between sobs.

My heart was breaking over and over and it felt like someone was wringing it out like a dish rag and I could not stop it. It had been so long since I had seen him last, yet my love for him was still as strong as it had always been. I longed to be back in his arms, Scarlette and Aunt Chris knew this and I suppose in my aunt's own way she thought I needed to talk to him. But why he would risk it was still baffling to me especially the known risk if anyone found out. He knew this and also knew that was the reason that I walked away, to save him and his family.

"Because he loves you just as much as you love him" Scarlette said as she moved us to the couch and we both sat down at the same time. A love like we had was crippling and life altering, but mostly it was a weakness that had been exposed.

Pulling my legs up into my chest, I wrapped my arms around them and rested my chin onto the top of my knees. Looking at her I watched her watch me as I quietly hiccupped in between my trickling tears. I knew she could read me like a book but I bet she did not realize how close I was to picking up that phone and calling him, or maybe even trying to see him but I did not even know where he was even living anymore. I knew his family had gotten him a position in a top law firm somewhere in Texas but I was in such a state of despair when my aunt and Scarlette talked to me about it I never even listened to where they said he was going to be.

"Look, I know you are scared but to hell with our family Em. They don't even really know where you are so how in the world will they even know if you are talking to him" she asked, but there was doubt in her voice, one that lingered just long enough for me to know that even she knew she did not believe that.

I just shrugged because I knew my voice would betray me if I opened it right now. Glancing down towards the phone I saw it light up and chime again. As like the last message, this one was more of a desperate plea, practically begging me to call him back. I was in a tug a war with my brain and heart on this where my heart wanted him back but my brain wanted to protect him from my awful family that used their power and prestige to almost ruin him in order to cover up their family secret. I was the official sacrificial lamb so that my family could pick up the pieces, sweep them under the rug and move on as if it was business as usual. I once believed that I had the perfect family until I became the victim of a twisted plot comprised of a cover up so huge it would have left a business of over 50 years and a prestigious family outcast in a world of the social elitists. So, when the proverbial dust cleared I stood alone, judged and sentenced to a life of misery and heartache, all the while they brushed off their expensive suit jackets and returned to their fancy parties, lives of affluence and prestige and careers that provided them with the ability to conceal and deflect the tragedy that was their daughter.

I could stay in the pity hell that I called my life for the rest of the day if I chose but looking up and into the eyes of Scarlette I felt a new-found courage to try to make some part of my life meaningful again. To live again would mean that I needed to sort out my baggage and make peace with it, including peace with my family even if it was once sided. Swiping the last of my tears away with my fingers I looked up and smiled at Scarlette, silently thanking her for once again being my rock.

"Its time to deal with my past Scar" I said, my voice thick with emotion and tears.

"Em you can wait, just tell him you need some more time to settle in here. It is so clear my mother told him you were moving here." She sighed loudly as she rolled her eyes.

"Yea it looks like she told him everything, but how did she know where he was" I asked curiously.

"She finally told me yesterday that she had been keeping up with him for you, so that when you were ready that you could move on with him in your life" she said sadly as she shook her head.

Clearly my Aunt Chris was working on a behind the scenes deal all this time, trying to put my life back together for me. I smiled a small fond smile for my Aunt Chris, she had taken me in and helped me pick up pieces for a little over a year now and never complained one time about doing it. Scarlette was so lucky to have her as her mother.

"I can never move on with him. You know the deal, my silence and obedience for his freedom and absolutely no scandal for either family" I whispered.

"Well my mom will never agree with any of that from either of her brothers, especially for the one that needs to be in prison himself" she said angrily. I knew that Scarlette knew some of it but I was positive that I nor Autn Chris had told her all of the details about what had happened to me, and for once I needed to come completely clean with her if she was going to help me through all of this. Thinking about the journal that was tucked away in that front pocket made me realize what I had to do, that one personal journey of my life held the key to my freedom.

"Not much we can do about it now other than continue to protect the one who deserves it and hope and pray the one that doesn't rots in hell eventually" I spat angrily.

"I'm so sorry Emilee, I never wanted your first day here to be a flashback of the horrors you faced the last couple of years, and I know my mom did not either" she said, her voice heavy with a mixture of sadness and anger.

"I know but maybe this is a sign that its time I deal with all of that instead of running and hiding. You can only run for so long before it catches up to you" I said sighing.

She only nodded her head at me and hugged me once more. Getting up she pulled me up and dragged me down the hall to an open door, stopping right outside of it.

"This is your new room. Start unpacking your things and I will order us pizza. We have a week to get settled before you my sweet cousin start getting your life back" she said excitedly.

"Thank you again for this" I told her pointing to the room.

She smiled and took off back towards the living room, with me fast on her heels. I was headed to my suitcase because inside the front zipper pocket was a journal that was the key to getting my life back and it was time that I show someone what all the secrets were about.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter Three is up yall!!!  Make sure you vote and let me know you are liking it so far.  What do you think is in that journal and what could she have gone through that caused her so much pain.  Let me know what you think!  Next update is next Friday....