It was rather shocking to see Mrs. Carl when I stepped into history class.

Great.  Snow now not only did I have to deal with the class without Dannon, but I also had to deal with the crappy teacher again.

I would admit it: I’d grown used to Miss Tanta—liked her even.  But now Mrs. Carl was back to torture us until we died.  Yay.

“The devil’s mistress has returned!” Garrett whispered into my ear, succeeding in making me jump so high that it was insane.

I spun around, tossing him a glare.  “Dammit, Garner!”

“Brianne!”

I cringed as Mrs. Carl called out my name.  Damn.  Her first day back and she caught me swearing.  Nice.  I bit my lip, shuffling up the aisle, toward her desk.  It was said that those called there never returned as the same person they once were.  They were traumatized beyond belief.  Even the bravest of people couldn’t survive her terrible punishments.

“Yes, Mrs. Carl?” I asked softly, stepping up to her desk.

Mrs. Carl spun in her seat, turning to face me.  I was surprised to see that there wasn’t any annoyance on her face what-so-ever.  “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble for swearing in my classroom,” she assured me.

I sighed in relief.  “What is it then?”

Mrs. Carl smiled slightly.  I was taken aback.  This teacher, the one teacher that I managed to despise with my entire being, was smiling at me.  What had this poor woman gone through when she was gone?  Obviously hell.  She was traumatized, the poor soul.

Then she sighed sadly, and a sympathetic frown appeared.  “I heard about Dannon,” she said softly.  “And I heard that he’s important to you.”  She let out a puff of air.  “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

I stood there, staring at her in shock for a long time.  I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.  Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, I was able to stop looking like an idiot and talk.  “I’ve been better,” I said with a shrug.  “There’s nothing I can do, so. . . .”

Mrs. Carl smiled slightly.  “You’re strong, Brianne.  That’s good.  It’ll help you cope.”

I shook my head, staring at the floor.  “It’s not helping at all.”

I glanced at Dannon’s vacant seat.  My chest panged, and I suddenly had the urge to run.  To run from everything, everyone.  To just forget everything.  I blinked, disturbed and shocked by this sudden little outburst.  Where the hell had that come from?

“I know it may seem odd, coming from the strict teacher that sucks the souls out from her students,” Mrs. Carl said, obviously attempting for humor, “but I just wanted you to know that I am here if you need someone to talk to.”

I smiled one of my miniscule smiles.  I guessed Mrs. Carl wasn’t half as bad as she seemed to be.  “Thanks.”

Mrs. Carl nodded.  Then she gestured for me to sit back down.  “You’d best sit down.  Shelley and her boyfriend look like their eyes are about to pop out of their skulls.”

My eyes widened as I turned to go back to my seat.  Mrs. Carl got into the romance drama here?  She was turning into the exact opposite of what I thought she would be.  Now that I thought about it, wasn’t that what always happened?  I’d assumed Dannon was a jerk, and so was the rest of the crew.  And they were the nicest people I knew.

I used to be so judgmental, I thought dully.  So damn judgmental.  It was a wonder anyone tolerated me.

As class began, I let my mind wander.  It’s not like I could stop it.  Dannon’s seat was right across from mine.  It’d always been like this since he’d left.  I’d attempt to keep my eyes off the vacant seat, and in the process my mind would turn to memories of the past that I would cherish forever.  Usually this ended up biting me in the ass because I got called on when I least expected it.  But today Mrs. Carl left me alone to my thoughts.

What a nice lady.

“What did she want you for anyway?” Shelley demanded as we exited the history room after class was over.  “I thought you were going to be screamed at.”

I shrugged.  “She talked to me about Dannon.”

“Dannon?” Shelley’s eyebrows crinkled together.  “What the hell?”

I shrugged again, walking backwards toward where Kyla was waiting near the end of the hall.  It was time for English.  “She’s not as bad when she’s not scowling.”

I turned and walked to Kyla, shifting my bag on my shoulder.

| It ♥ All ♥ Started ♥ With ♥ An ♥ Apple |

“Isn’t this beautiful?”

I glanced at Dannon, smiling brightly.  I nodded and looked up at the starry night, my eyes wide.  We’d snuck out to go to the park just to hang out.  Dannon didn’t understand why we had to sneak out to come here seeing how we were trusted teenagers, but I insisted.  Hey, I needed adventure in my life once and a while, didn’t I?

“It is,” I breathed.  “Why are there so many?”

I know it was an odd question, but seriously.  There were so many stars in the sky.  More than usual. 

“It’s to show you that everything will be okay.”

My eyes narrowed.  I turned, shifting onto my side and staring at him, hard.  “What do you mean?” I demanded, my eyes searching his face for an answer.

Dannon copied my position, smiling.  Even though it was hard to see remotely anything in the darkness of the night, his smile was bright.  His teeth flashed in the darkness. “I may be gone now, but I’ll be back.”  He grinned, pulling forward to kiss my forehead softly.  “I’d never leave you, hon.”

Suddenly I was in the hospital.  I looked around the room dazedly, confused.  How had I gone from the park to Dannon’s hospital room?  It didn’t make sense.  Like, at all.

I stepped forward, collapsing into the guest chair.  Dannon remained motionless, as usual, in the bed.  His time was running out.  It was only a matter of time before his remaining days were gone.  Usually just thinking about it made my stomach curl in on itself and tears burn in my eyes.  But, today something was different.  Why didn’t I feel my usual despair?

“Brianne?”

My eyes shot up and I gasped.  Dannon blinked, looking as dazed and confused as I’d felt just a moment ago.  And who could blame him?  He’d taken a month and a half long nap.  But that didn’t matter.  What mattered was that he was blinking, moving, breathing, staring.  And with that thought in mind, I rushed to his side, my hear thumping loudly in my chest.  “Dannon?” I breathed.

“Bri.”  Dannon brought a hand up, caressing my cheek.  He smiled slightly, absolute love clear in his eyes.  I felt my hear contract.  “I told you I’d be back.”

My eyes popped open.  I sat up and rubbed my eyes, looking around.  I was still in the park.  Well, that explained the part in the dream where Dannon and I were in the park together.  I felt oddly refreshed, as though something incredible was going to happen.  The feeling felt so foreign now.  It was odd to feel good.

My gaze rose to the sky.  That was the first dream since Dannon had gone into a coma that didn’t end with me crying over Dannon’s motionless body.  I was crying happy tears.  Why was that?  Was it some sort of sign?  My eyes narrowed.  What was this supposed to mean?

Nothing.  It was just a dream.

I’d gone insane.  That was the only plausible solution.  I’d gone insane and was taking every dream that I had and was deciphering it.  Yep, there was something seriously wrong with me.

Shaking my head, I forced myself up from the ground and grabbed my backpack.  I’d come straight here after school instead of getting a ride from Kyla to the hospital.  I didn’t know why.  I mean, going to the hospital had become a given; like, it was abnormal for me not to go.  If I had time after my visit I would go to the park.  But to come first was . . . odd.

What the hell was going on with me?

I shoved my hand into my butt pocket, pulling out my cell phone.  Dammit.  It was four-thirty.  That didn’t leave much time to visit with Dannon.  My mom put a curfew on me, saying that I had to be home by seven o’clock.  At first I’d been pissed, but now I could understand why.  She didn’t want me wallowing in my sorrows all night long.  Not that it helped by being home.  My thoughts tended to spin out of control before I could stop them.

I was ready to walk the rest of the way to the hospital, but a car pulled up beside me before I could even begin my journey.  I squinted, trying to think of whose car it was.  I recognized it; otherwise I wouldn’t have stopped to peer inside.  Strangers stopping in front of you was a huge I’m-going-to-slaughter-you-in-the-back-of-my-creepy-white-van tip-off. 

The window rolled down and the driver’s face became visible.  “Oliver?” I asked, shocked.  “What are you doing here?”

Oliver smiled thinly, gesturing for me to get inside.  I complied immediately, slipping into the passenger’s seat.  “I don’t know exactly,” he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.  “I was driving and just ended up here.”

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.  “Huh.”

Oliver sighed deeply, setting the car into gear and pulling into the road.  “I’m guessing you’re going to the hospital?”

I nodded.  “Yep.”

Oliver sighed again.  I turned to him, and, for the first time, I saw true despair in his eyes.  Dannon’s condition was killing him.  And no one had taken notice of that because of me.  But Oliver was Dannon’s best friend long before Dannon knew me.  Suddenly I was disgusting with myself for not making sure Oliver was all right.

I placed a hand gently on his shoulder, struggling to smile.  “Has anyone asked you how you’re doing with this?” I asked softly, my eyes searching his face for an answer.

Oliver looked at me for a moment before turning back to look at the road.  “Not really.  Kyla has been trying hard to make sure that I’m okay, and everyone else asked me once or twice in the beginning.  But other than that, no.  But that’s okay.”  He smiled briefly.  “I’m doing fine.”

I cocked an eyebrow.  “You lying to me, Oliver?”

“Yes.”

How blunt he was.  I sighed deeply, closing my eyes for a moment.  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.  “I’ve been selfish, moping around like I have.  I should be trying to be strong for everyone and—”

“Don’t start trying to blame yourself.”  Oliver shook his head, tossing me a pointed look.  “Dannon would be pissed.”

I couldn’t argue with him there.  “You know, it may help if you went to visit him.”

Oliver shook his head vigorously, his hands squeezing on the steering wheel.  “No,” he said quickly.  “That would make it too real.”

I looked out the window for a moment, trying to think of what to say.  I could understand what he was saying, I really could.  I wished that I had the option to deny what was true.  Pretending that this was all just some sick dream and that I was going to wake up soon.  But I couldn’t.  Not when all this shit had happened.  Not when he’d gone into a coma right in front of my eyes.

“Maybe making it real and accepting it will help,” I said, glancing at him from the corner of my eye.

“Has it worked for you?” Oliver demanded, clutching the wheel even tighter now within his hands.  His fingers were turning red.

I shrugged.  “I’m not sure.  I haven’t exactly had the chance to see things any differently.  That, and, I’ve been fighting it the entire way.  I’m not making it easy for myself, which is probably a dumbass way to go.”  I smiled a tiny smile.  “But we’re very different people, Oliver.  And I know that if you don’t go visit, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

Oliver didn’t say anything for a long time.  For a moment I thought I’d destroyed any hope of getting him to visit his friend in the hospital.  It wasn’t like I was going to guilt him into going.  If he didn’t want to, I wasn’t going to make him.  It was his choice.  But what I told Oliver was true: If he didn’t go visit Dannon soon, he was going to regret it forever.

“Time is running out, Oliver,” I whispered.  “He only has weeks left.”

Oliver sighed shakily.  “I’ll go with you,” he said after a moment’s hesitation.  “Just don’t it against me if I bawl like a baby.”

“I won’t.”

| It ♥ All ♥ Started ♥ With ♥ An ♥ Apple |

“I could give you time alone with him if you’d like,” I said softly as we made our way down the long, desolate hallway of the hospital.  Things were freakishly quiet today.  Everything seemed to echo. 

“Thanks, Bri.”  Oliver paused, pain flashing across his face.  “What’s it like?”

I stared at him, confused.  “What do you mean?”

“What’s it like to talk to him and have no answer?”

I didn’t answer him.  I knew that he could tell by my expression that it was painful, almost unbearable.  But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that.  He was already having trouble coming here in the first place.  I didn’t want to ruin it now.  Besides, that was how it was for me.  Maybe it would be different for him.

We reached Dannon’s room.  I stepped to the side, gesturing for Oliver to go in.  “It’ll be okay,” I said softly, trying to reassure him with a small smile.  “I won’t come in until you tell me to, all right?”

Oliver nodded.  “All right.”

And then he was gone, disappearing behind the closing door.  I sighed, leaning back on the wall and closing my eyes.  Despite the fact that he was probably going to cry a ton, this was actually going to be really good for him.  I could tell.  Oliver was the type of person that needed closure.  If he didn’t come here, he was never going to get it.  And if he didn’t get it, who knew what was going to happen to him?

“I may be gone now, but I’ll be back.”

I scrunched my eyes tightly before opening them.  If only those words were true.  They felt true.  I wasn’t going to deny it.  In fact, I was terrified to go in there and see Dannon unconscious.  That would shatter any hope of Dannon coming back to me.  I had to accept that it was only a dream, that Dannon wasn’t coming back.  He was going to stay in a coma until the day he died.

I breathed fast, trying to keep the tears in.  I couldn’t accept it.  I couldn’t hold back the stupid false hope that he was going to open his eyes again.  For some reason that dream had affected me beyond repair.

What the hell was going to happen to me when Dannon didn’t open his eyes?

Only time could tell.

I skidded down the wall and onto the floor.  My head fell back, and I stared at the ceiling through a blurry gaze.  “I could never leave you, hon.”

The words were so Dannon.  It was hard not to believe them.  In fact I did believe them.  No matter how much I tried to resist it, I did believe what Dannon said to me in the dream.  I knew it was stupid, that it would only get my heart broken, but I couldn’t help it.  Dannon had never broken a single promise. 

So why start now?

Suddenly I broke into a huge smile.  I probably looked like a complete idiot, but I didn’t care.  Let them stare while I went insane.  At least I would be happy for a short moment before they stuck me into a strait-jacket.

“Brianne?”

I looked up.  Oliver stood before me, his eyes red and puffy.  I scrambled up and wiped my own eyes.  I stood there awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to say.  Could you really blame me?  He’d just gone through something heart-wrenching.  “How did it go?” I settled on.

Oliver smiled.  “It sucked, but you were right; I needed to visit him.”  He sighed.  “Now it’s your turn.”

Before I could say anything, Oliver lightly pushed me into the room, shutting the door firmly behind me.  I scowled at the door for a moment before stepping forward, approaching Dannon’s bed.

I fell into the visitor’s chair, scooting up to the bedside.  I grabbed one of Dannon’s hands, gripping it tightly within my own.  “Hey, hon,” I said softly, ignoring the dull burn of tears in my eyes.

Dannon’s chest rose and fell steadily.  It comforted me.  Part of me didn’t understand why.  Usually I thought of it as some false hope that Dannon was going to come back to me.  But today I couldn’t help but think of it as actual hope.

Dammit.  The dream was really making me go insane.

I sat there for a long time, just talking to him as though he was going to answer me.  Usually I would be bawling my eyes out, but today I wasn’t.  Somehow I’d become stronger within a short time period.  How, I didn’t know.  Frankly, it was creeping me out.

Aware the Oliver was waiting for me, I stood up and fixed my jacket.  “I’ll visit you tomorrow,” I said softly.  Before leaving, I bent down to Dannon’s ear.  “Listen here, buddy,” I whispered, “break your promise and I’ll kill you myself.”

And then I hurried out of the room to where Oliver was waiting.