So, I messed up lmao. In total, there will be one epilogue, and there will be two more Kade POV's (including this one!) Enjoy🤍!

"There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this." ― Terry Pratchett
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Chapter 82
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|Kade|

I was hypocritical.

I always had been. Ever since I met her again, I continued to go against my own promise. My plan. All of it went out the window the moment I fell in love with Kimberly. I had accepted the hypocrisy of it, and left it at that, but this...this was different.

Three days had passed since I found out that I was tied to the cages for another year. Exactly seventy-eight hours, and fifteen minutes. Every single passing second continued to taunt me with the inevitable.

I knew it was coming. The words I would never be able to take back, got strung back in my throat every time I looked at her. My beautiful, beautiful girl.

I was being selfish, I knew that. I wanted to keep her for as long as I could. That was what I planned to do beforehand, before I realized that I couldn't keep her from herself or her endless possibilities, not for me and not for anyone else in this world.

Even when she's gone, I'll still love her. I'll still love every single thing there is about the girl, without question. Tomorrow and the days after that, I will still be in love with her. Without a doubt. Every single thing that consisted of Kimberly's very-being retained my heart.

Yet, I had to break hers.

I knew she wouldn't take no for an answer. Her stubbornness was one of my favorite qualities, even though I never admitted it out loud. But, not this time. This time, I needed that same stubbornness to cease for her sake.

She had no idea what those people in the cages were capable of. I couldn't let her find out, either.

The only way to rid her of myself was to hurt her, to make her want to let me go. To make her see exactly why she should. To lie. To go back on everything, and twist it until she hated me.

As bad as it would fucking kill me, I loved her more than she would hate me. I wanted more for her. She deserved more, and even more of that.

Kimberly had gotten the wrong side of the stick for as long as she could remember, something that I vowed would never happen, again. My sweet girl deserved the world, and more. I wouldn't stop her from having it, even if it meant not being at her side to watch her experience it.

I could never give a straight answer if someone asked why she was in love with me, despite being prepared to give a million if they asked it about her. Even if I didn't fully understand why, I wanted to be worthy of it, and more.

I knew, without question, that we would both be shattered from the inside out. Defaced. Ruined. Hurt. As damaging as it would be for me, I dreaded it for her. I fucking dreaded that I had to do it. That I would have to make her second guess every ounce of love I ever carried for her. That she would believe, even for a moment, that it was fake.

Fuck.

Since the moment I came into this world, I was hurt by the very people who were supposed to protect me from the things I was never even supposed to be afraid of. I nearly became that very same person, enabled by the only thing I'd known, embraced, and blossomed in: hate. For so long, I enjoyed the rush, the pain and retaliation, to see those very same tears I once shed, on another's face.

But, Kimberly was an entirely different story. She wasn't even in the pages of any of that. Her name, her face, her held no significance other than perfection, to me. She was good. She was the only good thing to me. My light. My sweet girl.

I never intended to fall in love with her, not at all. In fact, it was the last, if even existing, thing I ever thought of. But, if I knew of the consequences: having the best woman, my woman, in this fucking world, I would jump headfirst for the girl, every single time. I had no regret in it, in her.

Despite everything I faced along the way, it was easy to love her, to treat her the way she should be treated, to cherish her. Without a doubt.

I never wanted to do this to her. Hurting her was my biggest fear, and now the nightmare was here. It was just lingering, creeping, waiting and for me to acknowledge it, to secure its rotten existence in stone.

I was ripped from my wrecked excuse of a mind as Kimberly shifted on my chest. Soft strands tickled at the bare skin as she lifted her head up to me.

I tried to hold my gaze to the television, despite having no awareness of what the fuck we were watching, anyway. Why the fuck would I?

I had to train myself to avoid her eyes for when the moment came. Those marvelous, beautiful eyes of hers were one of the many aspects of her that left my knees wobbling every single time.

If I didn't learn, I could never go through with it. I couldn't bare seeing the lovely spark in them now, not when I was going to take that very same happiness from her in a matter of days. I didn't deserve to have her share it with me.

"You're so quiet tonight," I heard her say.

Her soft hand padded against my body until it found my hand. It took every ounce of control I had to stop myself from returning her touch, from furthering it, even. I knew I didn't deserve it.

"I'm always quiet," I managed to force out, daring the bile to remain at the back of my throat.

But, she was right. I tried to hold my composure, but fuck was it hard.

There was a possibility I would never hear her voice, again. Never see her face, or that heavenly smile. I'd never hear her laugh, or touch her scars. I'd never kiss those beautiful scars on my beautiful girl, again.

I would never have a good day, a good life, a good heart, good, again. Not after her. Good was her, and if she was gone, then so was that. So was I.

I could never love again, that was without question. After experiencing Kimberly, it wasn't possible. There was none that was better than that, and if there was? Fuck them. I didn't want to find it. I only wanted hers. Her.

Right now, I urged to hear everything she had to say. I wanted to hold her to me, to memorize the pitch of her voice, the curve of her lips when she smiles at me, the flush of her cheeks, the melody of her laugh. I wanted to remember everything about her, just in case I was never granted the chance to, again. I wanted to remember her.

I felt her flesh press firm against my own. "You're quiet with other people," she murmured back, chuckling. "I'm your favorite person, you talk to me."

I squeezed my eyes shut with rue. Kimberly was my only person. The reason behind my very existence.

After her, there would be no life. No smiles, no laughs or inside jokes, no soft lips, no midnight grocery shopping trips, no talks with the one person I never grew tired of hearing, no games or unprepared dates, no love...just, nothing. There would be nothing.

I sucked in a sharp breath, my eyes stinging behind it all. Fuck. Just thinking on it was making me physically ill.

My hand stroked the back of her head as her body scooted closer to mine. As soon as she did, I placed either hand around her waist until she was sitting on top of me. My hands fell to her thighs that were straddling me perfectly. Her giggles sounded out, only furthering the ache in my heart.

I gently tugged her down to me. I managed a tight smile, pressing my forehead to hers until our skin's heat mingled.

"Tell me about your day, sweetheart," I murmured, laying a kiss to her skin. "Tell me all about it."

I wanted to hear it, every single detail. I wanted to cherish this last night between us. I wanted to remember my favorite, my only person.

After she told me about her day, I had her tell me her favorite memory. Her favorite food, favorite color. Her dreams and aspirations. Her favorite books, and music. I knew every single answer to every single question already; I just wanted to hear her sweet, delicate voice.

I ached for more of her. I ached for the woman I breathed. I ached for the woman I couldn't have, and the life that I couldn't give to her. The love that I would always, unconditionally, and wholeheartedly have for her.

Then, I begged. I begged in a way that I never had before.

I begged to whatever higher power there was for another chance. Another universe, another timeline. Anything.

One where this moment could last forever, without even a glimpse of an ending, and one where there could be another.