Enjoy!🤍

"No matter where you go, you will always be in my heart." —Anthony T. Hincks

————————————————————

Chapter 89
<—————————————>

It was hard to get through the swarm of people, but after a while, I began to shove and push. Eventually, I made it to where I needed to be.

Since everyone was too occupied by the celebratory win, it was empty out here. I could smell the burnt rubber, the old oil. The track stretched for miles, just as I remembered it the last time I was here. There were two cars just before the starting line, so I headed for one before anyone could see me.

I yelped as I felt a hand grasp my arm. I turned in shock, ready to flee.

Luke released me as he stepped closer. His eyes glowered down at me, his lips set in a scowl. "What in the fuck do you think you're doing?"

The cool wind swept through my hair, so I went ahead and put my hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of my way. "I'm going to race for Kade." I tightened the band, then my hoodie.

Lukes' brows scrunched closer together. For a second, I thought his eyeballs would fall from their sockets. "What? You can't race."

I shook my head, turning toward the cars again. I could hear the screams all the way from here, but they wouldn't last long. I had to hurry.

"I'm not amazing, but Kade taught me enough," I responded in a rush before Luke grabbed my wrist.

I yanked it from him, then jerked around with a glare. "Luke, there's no time for this shit. You and Levi can't race, and no one else can be trusted to. I'm the only option we have right now." When he tried to reach for me again, I jerked my arm away, glowering at him. We didn't have time for this. "Luke. You either shut the fuck up, and help me do this, or you shut the fuck up, and get out of my way. Either way, you're going to shut up, and I'm going to do this. We don't have a choice right now."

Lukes' eyes fell as he pondered over my words. "Fuck..." I saw the wind move with it as he blew out a frustrated breath."What in the hell am I doing?"

With a final curse, he ran a hand through his hair. Then he dropped it. His grip tightened around me as he pulled us back into the building. "Come on."

I was shocked at the swift turn, but I shuffled along, pressing my nerves away. I didn't have time to be nervous right now.

"We're going to find you a helmet so that no one suspects it's not Kade. The windows are tinted so you should be fine."

My head bobbed on its own as we continued on. I wasn't sure how long we walked until we were in another room. It was small, but every square inch was occupied with something. Helmets, gloves, jackets, spare car parts and oil, old tires, tools.

Luke continued to murmur under his breath as he knelt to rummage through the mess. Finally, he raised himself, turning toward me with full hands.

I stepped closer to him as soon as he motioned for me. I situated the helmet once it was on, and Luke stepped close to help.

"Kade's going to fucking murder us," he hissed as he tightened it around my head.

"We have no other choice."

Luke handed me my gloves. It may have been a coincidence, but the design was the same as Kade's, just in my size.

"He had them made for you," Luke mumbled the answer to my curiosity, snapping the clasp shut. I swallowed past the thick lump of emotions. He shoved a jacket that was far too big for me into my arms, but I accepted it anyway.

He stepped outside of the room while I shrugged out of my hoodie. As soon as the cold leather jacket hit my skin, a shudder ran throughout me. I just wasn't sure if it were because of that or the nerves.

"I'm ready," I called to Luke, who stepped back in a second later.

His eyes raked over me before he nodded. The doubt still remained, but it was strained by the reality.

"What are you going to tell Kade?" I asked him as he shoved the door open. We began to walk to the tracks again, but I made sure to glance back before we did so. The people were still indulged in the match. "There's no way he'll let it happen, but we all know he'll lose if he goes out there like this."

Luke nodded in agreement, then we stepped into the outside again. There were a couple people this time, but since the helmet was of Kade's design, as well as tinted and my hair was hidden underneath, I was undetectable enough. Kade was much taller and bulkier, but by the end of the match, I hoped everyone would be too indulged in the victory to care about the rest.

He pulled out his phone, his fingers rapidly tapping at the sceen. Several seconds passed before it chimed. "Levi and Raven are going to lock him in a room. They'll tell him as soon as we're on the track. There's nothing he can do from there."

I couldn't help but chuckle, even past the rolling in my stomach. "They're going to have the time of their life trying to keep him in." I paused as Luke led us to one of the cars. "Wait. We?"

Strands of hair fell from their place as he bobbed his head. "Yep. We." Luke pulled the keys from his pocket, the car's horn sounding out as he unlocked it.

I remained in my spot, even after he got into the passengers' side. "You said you couldn't." I mimicked him and Levi from earlier.

My shaky fingers pulled the door open. Once I was inside, I turned to Luke, who shrugged.

"We're not allowed to race," he responded, leaning over to arrange my seat. "They never said we're not allowed to help someone else do it. Ryder's gonna kill me already for just having you here, but I'm not letting you get hurt or anything, so we're in this shit together."

I nodded, sucking in a tight breath as I stared ahead. So many times had I been here, yet this was the one to make or break it all.

Whenever Kade had to practice, he used to let me race his car along the track. I convinced him a couple of times to let me race him, even though I never won. He would let me know what I could have done to win, and let me run over it while he trained.

I tried to recall every last bit of it in this moment. I would need that, and more to win this.

"Lay on the gas a bit," Luke instructed, grabbing my gloved hands, and positioning them perfectly to the wheel.

I did. My fingers gripped the material for dear life as I held on. The engine roared from under us, the sound revving in my blood.

Drawing out a sigh, I murmured, "I'm going to throw up."

Luke shifted in his seat as he glanced out my window. "Yeah, I'm going to shit myself, too." I followed his gaze, and my heart stopped along with it.

The crowd was outside now. Just as I thought the place had reached its capacity, even more followed. They were all squeezing past one another to get a closer look at the track, and the vehicles atop it. Soon, they surrounded the car.

"Thanks for the support," I responded dryly.

Luke shrugged, his lips rolling under the other. Then, he turned to me. "You really think you can do this?"

I couldn't tell him yes, but I couldn't tell him no either. I was an observer, and my reaction time was quick. But, I'd never raced against anyone other than Kade. Since Kade was one of the best, and he had taught me the things I knew, I used that piece of information and ran with it.

My lips parted to release a puff of air. "We're about to find out." I heard the people erupt into sizable boos and cheers as Kade's opponent approached his own vehicle.

The print on his jacket read Warren. He was a tall man, maybe in his early or mid twenties. His stomach was punching out over the top of his black pants. I could see the jacket straining against his body as he turned, eating up every clap and cheer given. He lifted his sunglasses for a moment to soak it all in. Then, he turned to us, his lips twisted into a smug smirk. I wanted to wipe it off.

"Cocky bitch," Luke read my mind. I nodded in agreement before I tore my gaze away.

Luke kept his gaze on Warren as he motioned for me to hit the gas. I did, rolling my eyes as Warren's smirk fell, even though the windows were completely tinted. The car shake from under him as he got into it.

Every second that passed seem to draw me closer to reality. My ears grew fuzzy at the sound of our engines, mixed in with the screams and cries. But, I couldn't focus on them. I had to win. I was going to win.

"Okay," Luke breathed out as the blonde, half-naked girl stepped up to our cars. She winked at our car, and I guessed it was aimed at Luke. "You have to pass the finish line at least two out of three times. Got it?" I already knew this, but I nodded, anyway.

The crowd seemed to hold their breath with me as the girl raised her flag. Her smile raised with it as she glanced toward the cars.

I cracked my knuckles against the steering wheel, tightening my grip. Kade always warned me that if I didn't have control of anything else, have it for the wheel and the brake.

I stored that away as I pulled myself into the perfect position. My shaky foot hovered over the gas, just waiting for the moment to let it go.

Then, her flag fell.

Neither Warren or I hesitated as soon as the yellow fabric touched the gravel below. I heard Luke's breath hitch as I slammed my waiting foot on the gas.

If I let my window down, I could very well touch Warren's car. He and I were in the same spot, nearly at the same speed. But, I couldn't let that get to my head so I maintained my grip around the wheel.

"Here comes the curves," Luke shouted over the engine. "This is how the bastard usually wins. He's a dirty racer."

I allowed my ears to absorb the information before I spared a quick glance to my opponent. I couldn't see him, but by the roar of his engine, I could guess that he was about to use the curve to his advantage.

"Tell me what to do," I shouted the demand at Luke, who was already prepared, "Barely hit the brake, but wait until we get right at the curve. If you don't, he's going to get this round."

I nodded my head a little too roughly, shifting the gears. I could see the curve from here, but the closer we got, the more my stomach twisted into knots. If I didn't brake well enough, the car would flip.

"Here it is!" Luke exclaimed, his grip tightening around the dash. "Barely touch it, Kimberly!"

Warren and I barely missed one another as we both hit the curve. My foot slightly pressed the brake, but it wasn't enough. The fear won, and it caused me apply more pressure to the brake.

I felt my mind close up as the car began to tip from under us. By the time I caught the wheel, Warren was far ahead. I saw him skid into my lane just to be a smart ass.

"Fuck!" Luke and I shouted in union.

He shook his head, shoving a hand through his strands. I didn't wait. I geared down on the pedal as hard as I could. Sander was a few paces away, but the space didn't matter. I had to keep going.

"Okay," Luke hissed out. "He's got the first one, but there's two more."

I dared my ears to tune him out. The only thing that mattered was the prick in front of us. I wouldn't let him stay that far for too long, though.

"He's not going to win," I gritted out, my heart drumming in anger as my fingers tightened around the gear stick.

Warren grew cocky. To taunt us, he slowed down just enough to earn a few laughs from the crowd. But, his smugness cost him.

In a matter of seconds, I was at his side, then far along. I glanced over quick enough to catch his gape.

To add to my act, I turned the wheel just enough to barely miss his car before I continued on. In my rearview, I saw Warren jerk the wheel to avoid the 'hit.' Just enough to throw him off of us.

Luke howled with laughter as he encouraged me along. I fought back a grin of my own that fell as soon as I approached the curve.

"I remember," I shouted before he could.

Warren was on our asses; I could see his glare from here. I didn't have time to tease him any longer, though.

This time, I dared fate to be on my side. If it ceased to be, then so would we. I had to take the chance.

As Luke warned—Warren always took his win here. So, I had to say fuck it.

The curve was sharp. Just as we approached it, I let my foot hover before I barely grazed the brake. It was the perfect amount to stop the car from flipping, but not enough to slow us down drastically, either.

If I would have let my fingers release the wheel even by the tiniest bit, this would have been an entirely different outcome. So I kept my grip as tight as I could, the rubber nearly burning the tips of my fingers, even through the gloves.

My lips tipped with excitement as the finish line appeared in my view. Warren had expected the same act from us around the curve the first time, and that was what had him nearly digging his heel into the floorboard in order to catch up.

But he didn't.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Luke nod with prestige as I passed the finish line. But, this wasn't over. There was no time at all for celebration. The next round would be the one to determine everything.

The screams and cheers from the crowd only lasted mere seconds as I swept past them. Warren passed the finish line only seconds behind me.

"The fucker knows your game now," Luke noted, glancing back at the car. "Got any tricks up your sleeve that won't have the car flipped to Canada?"

I nibbled at the inside of my cheek until I tasted metallic. I had a couple that Kade had shown me, but I wasn't too sure. These were only done when there was no one else on the track. But, they might be our best shot.

Instead of responding, I straightened my back as I pulled the seat closer to the wheel. There were no seatbelts, so we were on our own here. If this was going to work, I needed it to be perfect.

"You might want to hold onto something," I warned Luke, who eyed me cautiously. My eyes remained on the track, squinting as I measured the distance between us, and that wicked curve. It was the key to all of this.

I threw a glare at him. "Do it, Luke." I saw him grasp onto the door for support, his chest bouncing in paces.

I didn't dare move my attention from the front of me. "How far is he?"

Luke cast a glance back over his shoulder. "A couple seconds, and he'll be right by us. Maybe seven."

My lips tipped into a grin as I nodded. I spared a quick shot through the mirror to confirm, and Luke was right. By the speed Warren was attempting to reach, he would fall right into the trap. I just needed to get to the curve.

The tracks were two lanes, either side of them being separated by barriers. They were rideable, but it was a risky bet. Tonight was a gambling game though, and I needed to play my hand.

I allowed my foot to barely hit the brake, just enough to put us behind.

Luke gaped at me with wide eyes as he watched Warren pass us. As soon as his car was in front, I swerved into his lane.

"Kimberly, what the fuck are you doing?" he shouted, his eyes bouncing between me and the car.

"Hold on." I tightened my lips as I blurred him out. The only thing my mind was allowed access to was that finish line, and how I planned to get there.

Warren was in the perfect position, now. My foot weighed down onto the pedal until it hurt to do so. I let the car inch close enough to be able to see his eyes in the mirror. I saw them crinkle with humor as he continued on.

The anger burned my skin as he revved the engine to taunt me. "Cocky little bastard," I hissed under my breath. It would be nonexistent in the next couple of minutes, so I let him roll in his ego.

I narrowed my eyes just as we approached the curve. Warrens' eyes jumped to the side of him that I was supposed to be on, then proceeded to slow enough to nearly cause a rear-end as he saw me advance on him. Just as I wanted.

With every ounce of control I had, I let my fingers guide the wheel. Luke shouted so many profanities, it rattled in my ears. But, I kept through with my plan.

"Kimberly, the brake!" he shouted, his hands searching for a surface to grip. "Slow the fuck down!"

I slammed on the gas as hard as I could, then launched the car onto the barrier. It rattled under us as the wheels jumped, and rolled off the material.

My teeth dug into my lip as I positioned the wheel just enough to stop us from a spin-out. I caught it in the other hand, the car slightly bouncing from under us as the tires hit the track, again.

Warren took the bait perfectly. Instead of proceeding on, his eyes grew as wide as saucers as he predicted a collision. As his hands attempted to steer the wheel away from us, his panic caused the car to slip from him.

Before he could stop it, the car spun out until it slammed into one of the barriers. The last thing I saw was his face reddening as he attempted to get back onto the track.

My foot didn't let the pedal go until we approached the finish line. The crowd was silent as they waited, but as soon as the car swept past the paint, it began. Confetti, stomping, screams and shouting.

My fingers were so firmly pressed into the wheel, it hurt to let go. I pried them away before turning to Luke with widened eyes.

I won. The very fact made my heart jump with both disbelief and excitement.

"Oh, shit," Luke repeated the words until he finally glanced up at me. His eyes were widened in surprise. "You're insane. How in the fuck..." his eyes fell as he shook his head in disbelief. "Ryder has always been the only one to be able to do that, but you just..." he shook his head, blinking at me.

"I told you to trust me," I breathed out. I hadn't acknowledged how afraid I was until now. "Honestly, I have no idea what just happened."

"You won." For the first time, his full lips lifted into a grin. "You did good. More than good. Kade's probably going to break all of our spines, but at least you won for him."

Kade.

I did win. But, I lost so much in the process.

Immediately, my smile fell; the reality was setting in, again. This was the end. The moment I stepped away out of the cages, Kade and I would no longer exist.

With a heavy sigh, I went to take the helmet off before I paused. In it all, I forgot that no one outside other than Luke knew of my true identity.

"Let's go," Luke suggested, nodding toward the crowd. I was right; they were entirely too indulged in the victory. Rather that be Kade or their bets, their distraction was good. "I'm going to be right by you. We'll head straight to Levi and Kade."

I nodded carefully m, my hand grazing the door. I paused to glance back at Luke. "Actually..." I turned to blink away the tears. I expected Luke to tease at it, but he was silent. I think he knew. "Could you just leave me in the room? Tell Levi and Raven to meet me there so that we can leave."

Luke said nothing. He stared at me, his expression tight with tension. His lips squeezed shut before he opened his door. I released a breath that I never realized was even being held before I joined him.

The shrieking intensified as Luke led us through. I felt several shoves and grabs as they congratulated 'Kade.'

I let my eyes remain on Luke's back, speeding up my steps. If I hesitated a moment too long, I knew we'd get separated in the crowd.

Luke shoved the door shut behind us as he motioned for me to follow him. I didn't hesitate as I tore the helmet from my head. I thought the air would help, but it did no such thing. Because I knew that when I left, there would be no air. None.

Finally, we paused at the same room I got my equipment from. He raised a finger at me, pulling the door open and peering inside. I continued to glance around me in caution.

"Okay," Luke breathed out, motioning for me. I hurried in, beginning to unstrap the gloves. "Get changed, I'll be back with Levi." I nodded as I placed the helmet down. His eyes hovered on mine for a moment longer, before his head tipped. "Thank you, Kimberly. Seriously."

"Don't blow my ego up," I murmured as I threw the gloves back into their spot. A part of me wanted to keep them, but I forced myself to put them back.

"Don't get your hopes up." Luke rolled his eyes, humor dancing across his expression as he began to step back.

"I wouldn't think of it."

He shut the door after him. As soon as I stopped hearing his footsteps, I pulled the jacket off and retrieved my own.

After I was dressed, I waited. The longer I did, the more my mind stranded from the victory's adrenaline. I was back, and so was the raw truth.

The moment I left here tonight would be the last memory Kade and I shared. The last I love you, the last kiss, the last shared smile. The last of us.

It didn't make me feel any better that I had slightly led him on tonight. Even though I meant every kiss, every word, I would have done or said anything to have the night end this way. By the way he held me to him, by the way he spoke and looked down at me with such tenderness, I knew that he thought we were back. That he never said or did the things he did. But, he did and he would have to live with the consequences as I would.

I knew that I was running. It was an embarrassing fact, but I knew my own boundaries. If I saw him, I'd break. Just as I was doing right now. But, in the other case, he would be the one to try and put back together what he broke. And, I couldn't let him touch me again.

I didn't know what to make of it all. He was only a couple of minutes away from here, so so close. It would be easier on my heart to go and rejoice, reconnect, and redo everything with him.

But, that anger and hurt still burned inside of me. It was the factor restraining me in this room.

I couldn't forget, no matter how badly I wished it away. Every time I recalled the things he said, the way he walked away from me, I stopped myself from proceeding with him. I wanted to believe he loved me, I did believe it, genuinely. But, clearly not enough if he gave me up so easily.

Kade and I both had been through so much in our lives. Even through it all, we fought to understand ourselves in order to understand the other. There was supposed to be trust in that, in us. If he couldn't trust me enough to be strong through 365 days, how could I do the same with him? I didn't want to be with someone who wouldn't fight for me, because I would have waited however long I needed to.

I'd gone all of my life without his love, yet it seemed like such a laughable time compared to the gift I received in return. I would have waited a million years and one if I were able to experience his love, his generosity, him again.

But, he didn't see that. I couldn't wait for him to, so I had to go on with my plan.

The doorknob rattled from the other side, shaking me out of my consciousness. I swiped at my damp cheeks, raising myself from the wall.

Levi and Raven stepped in, their eyes roaming the small space before moving to mine. Raven scanned me over, her eyes softening as she saw my tears.

She stepped forward, immediately. "Oh, sweet girl," she mumbled, her own eyes watering as she pulled me into her embrace. I sniffed as I buried myself into her hug. "You did amazing; I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," I breathed out through a trembling throat.

Levi was staring at me. His smiling lips mouthed a thank you. I nodded my head in return, before pulling away from Raven.

"I saw that shit you pulled with the barriers," Levi said, grinning at me. "Kade has always been the only one to be able to do that trick. He was flipping the fuck out when he saw you. Fucker nearly fell out with nerves." I didn't bring up Levi's busted lip, but I could assume who it was from.

"I thought you were going to flip the car over," Raven added from behind me, her arm going around my waist. "You nearly gave me a freaking heart attack."

"Speaking of Ryder," Levi started, pointing out the door. "You should get back to him. He might swing all four of us around by our necks, but you should have seen how proud he was of you."

I stepped forward instinctively before I caught myself. My head fell right with my heart. I would have waited a million and one years for him, but he couldn't wait 365 days for me.

Raising my head, I shook it. I swallowed past my heart to speak, "I want to go home."

Levis' brows drew in as he shook his head with confusion. "But, I thought you two—"

I knew Kade was attempting to find me right now. I could guess he'd be here in a matter of seconds if I didn't leave first.

"Please," my plea was low as I looked at Levi.

"Kimberly—"he started, his gaze entirely conflicted as he glanced between me and the hall.

"Levi." Raven grasped my arm before stepping forward. She glared at Levi, her eyes narrowing across him. "Kimberly already said no, and she's not going to say it, again."

I hated putting Levi in this position to choose between Kade and I. I knew it was instinct to choose your best friend, but I was leaving, either way.

Raven glowered at Levi, who still remained in his spot. "We're going home," she repeated to him. "Right now."

His guilt weighed across his expression heavily as he glanced in the direction Kade should come from.

Finally, he released a heavy sigh before he nodded, turning to step out of the room. I could feel the tension thicken as he reached for Raven's hand, to which she jerked back from.

My stomach fell from the guilt. I didn't want to come between their relationship, nor did I intend to. It wasn't my intention to interfere in Levi's friendship with Kade, either. But, I would be gone in four months and their normal could return. I would remain as neutral as possible until then.

There were very few people in the building since everyone was still stuck on the win outside. It was easy to maneuver our way through, but emotionally, I was vacant.

I continued to glance over my shoulder in search for Kade. A part of me wanted him to catch up, as twisted as it sounded. I wanted to to run into his arms, to kiss him, to give him a second chance. But, I couldn't.

I couldn't.

Once we made it to the outside, I barely felt the wind hit my face. I embraced it, grateful that I could even feel anything else other than what I had in the past couple of weeks.

I sat in the back this time so that Raven and Levi could possibly talk. That, and I needed this time to attempt to process my emotions.

I felt the car roar to life from under us. I nearly pressed the imaginary gas pedal; I'd been in the race for too long apparently. Instead, I pulled the hoodie from my head and ran a hand across my face.

Raven glanced back, her eyes softening over me. "Do you want to stay over tonight? You know you can."

If my heart hadn't of gotten crushed and put back together, then absolutely ripped up in the series of a couple hours, I would have said yes. But, since that was the case, I shook my head.

I forced myself into a small smile. "Not tonight, but thanks." I pressed my head against the window, my eyes shutting as I attempted to arrange the storm.

Being with him tonight left my heart into shambles. That, and my brain seemed to be at a constant war for the final decision. But, I didn't have one. I thought I did, but the moment he looked at me, I knew my heart had the final council.

But, my heart was just as dissent.

The way he looked at me as if he never wanted to look away. The way he held onto everything I said as if I was the first person he'd ever heard speak. The way he kissed me as if I were the most succulent source of energy. The way he held me as if I were a precious ruby.

The way he said I love you as if he hadn't absolutely ripped me to pieces. The way he lied to my face in order to protect me, but ended up rewriting over my scars with each word. The way he walked away so easily. The way he didn't fight for us, for me.

Each one battled and screamed over the other. They swarmed around me, claiming every sensible thought. It was nearly suffocating until I stepped in.

Fate was always a prevailing, constituent son of a bitch. She was always there, just waiting and waiting for the worst or best moments to strike.

I would grow to forgive Kade, I knew that. Not for him, but for myself. But, my plan would continue on. Get, or run away. Far. But, I would let fate do her thing. If she felt the need to object Kade back into my life, and if I ever forgave him, then and only then would I consider it all.

However long, I wouldn't wait around for it either. It would always hover in my mind and my heart for the possibility, but until then, I had to keep going. Fate never worked alone.