It was hard getting Phil to go home the next morning. He had been awoken by nightmares multiple times in the night so he was exhausted which probably didn't help. Dan had to hold his hand all the way to the front door to stop him from running away. When he saw Noah wasn't there, he relaxed a little but he was still petrified. "What do you want to do?" Dan gently asked, not releasing his hand from Phil's.

Phil shrugged, mumbling, "Anything that doesn't involve being alone."

"Okay.. how about a board game?" Phil shook his head. "Anime?" He shook his head again. "Video games?"

"I change my mind. I want to be alone." Phil let go of Dan's hand and began to walk away but Dan grabbed his shoulder. He flinched.

"No, no, Phil-" Dan was on the verge of tears himself. Phil looked at his friend with terrified eyes before running off into his room.

As soon as he was out of sight, Dan collapsed onto the floor in tears.

-

"I decided to actually do a live show today. I missed you guys!" Dan frowned, pressing his ear against Phil's door. "I know I look pretty terrible but that's only because I haven't been able to sleep for the last few days." Dan pushed open the door, looking at his friend. "Say hello to Dan!" Phil sent the man a smile and it broke his heart: it was so obviously fake. It took Dan a couple of seconds to smile back, realising they were live.

-

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight? I kind of sleep better with you..." Phil blushed slightly, holding Lion in his hand and looking at Dan with sleepy eyes.

"Of course you can. Come on." Dan lifted up his cover, smiling softly as Phil slid under it.

Phil fell asleep literally in minutes; quicker than Dan at least. Dan kissed his friend's forehead, mumbling, "Goodnight, I love you." but Phil didn't hear it. He was asleep.

-

"How was therapy?" Dan asked with a soft voice, pulling his friend close. He started to play with Phil's hair, comforting him as he was still fairly tense.

"Okay, I guess. She was really nice and she gave me some medication." Phil mumbled. "I don't really think I'm going to take it though. I don't need it and, even if I did, it wouldn't help."

"Phil, you need to."

"It just reminds me about it. I don't want to be depressed, Dan."

"I know you don't.. but do you remember back in 2009, when I was really depressed? Look at me now, I'm so happy! You saved my life."

"I'm probably ruining your life at the moment."

"You're not. You still make me happy like you did back then. You'll get better, I promise. I'll be there every step of the way, no matter how long it takes."

"Thank you." It went silent as Dan just played with his friend's hair and they both just solemnly thought about anything. Then Phil spoke up with a quiet voice. "I don't think I ever really loved him. There was always someone else on my mind." Dan's face dropped, his stomach flipping at the thought that Phil could love someone else and that someone else was most certainly not him.

"Did you?"

"Yeah. That person has been with me for years now and they have always been by my side, no matter what. Even when I'm a terrible friend, they always come back and give me hugs and cuddles at the end of the day."

"Do they?" Dan was smiling.. could it possibly be him?

"Yeah." Phil grinned to himself, thinking about the brown-haired man that he loved.

-

"Phil. You're such an idiot, you know? You chose Dan over me? He's just out to ruin your life. He will never ever let you find love. I bet he only wanted you for the subscribers." Noah said, that evil smirk on his face again. Phil shook his head of the thoughts immediately, knowing they weren't true.

Noah's hands were on his shoulders and suddenly he was being pushed back into the wall. His shoulders were aching but he refused to fuel the fire that was inevitably going to come out of Noah's mouth. "You're worthless without me. I'm what made you happy." Inside Phil's head, he was thinking: that's a lie. Dan is what makes me happy.

He still found himself flinching at every one of Noah's movements but his words were no longer knives against his skin. They were.. blunt now.

"You'll regret your choice one day. When he leaves you."

Phil's confidence faltered for a seconds as wave of doubt flooded over him. It was taking him under and he couldn't breathe. He flailed out, struggling to stay above the water. Noah just laughed.

Phil woke up and he was breathing heavily. He actually thought he was drowning for a moment but, no, everything was okay. He turned to the side and saw that Dan was lying next to him and he smiled, laying back down.

He closed his eyes and mumbled to himself, "You're okay. Dan's here to protect you."

He believed it.

-

"Hey guys. This video is going to be a serious one so.. prepare tissues or turn off if you get upset easily. This is my story about depression and abuse.. It all started on tour in America, where I met this man called.. uh.. N. I won't say his actual name as I wouldn't like for you guys to like... attack him or something," Phil laughed slightly but it seemed forced. "You probably have noticed how my mood has changed dramatically over the last few months. I started off very happy because he was a lovely boyfriend- always buying me nice things and taking me nice places. Then I found out that he had been blackmailing my best friend, Dan. We then broke up and Dan and I flew back to England." As the story went on, Phil got closer and closer to tears until.. "He slapped me and controlled me. Any time I'd say no to him, he'd fake how upset he was and make me feel guilty." He started to cry at that point, tears flooding out like they'd never stop. "I just wanted to say, if any of you are going through this.. it isn't your fault. I am currently seeing a therapist and it really helps.. Dan is also a huge help and he is just what I need to make me feel better and he'll always hug me when I cry. PJ is a good friend too, he helped Dan look for me when I ran away and he was very good to me. Be patient and you'll get better, I promise."

-

Phil stood in front of his apartment, looking up at the sky. The stars were shining bright and Phil couldn't help but feel like they were mocking him. His new video was uploading and he couldn't handle watching it load. He was standing outside, hoping space would comfort him slightly.

A shooting star flew across the sky and Phil shut his eyes, crossed his fingers and focused all the hope on his wish: Dan and I will be happy again and we'll fall in love.

-

"I'm so proud of you!" Dan exclaimed, pulling his friend closer. "I can't even imagine how much courage that took for you to upload!"

Phil smiled a shaky smile, worry still eating at him but he was considering whether it was actually a good thing. "Thank you." He mumbled.

"No need to thank me! I'm sure all the fans will be proud of you too and they'd be willing to be patient as you get better. They'll probably love all the advice you gave too."

"Yeah.." Phil went silent, looking down at the floor. After a moment of contemplation, he blurted out, "Hey Dan?"

Dan hummed a response, appreciating the moment.

"Is it bad for me to already have fallen in love with someone else?"

"I thought you never liked him and you did like someone else?"

"Well... yeah.. but do you think that's bad? Am I moving on too quickly?"

"I don't think so. You move on at your own pace."

"Then would it be bad if I made a move with this person?"

"I don't know." Dan sounded slightly sad so Phil just.. went for it. He leaned forward slowly, pressing his lips against Dan's. Dan responded almost straight away, kissing back as his mind went crazy with happiness. "Is it me? Am I the person?" He asked with a light blush on his cheeks.

"What if you are?"

"Then I'd be the happiest man on the planet."

"It's you."

Dan grinned, leaning forward and kissing Phil one more time.

-

This is so inspiring... I can't believe you went through all that.

I'm going to kill N whoever he is! He made my Philly sad and that isn't allowed!

It's so brave of you to make a video out of this..

Wow, you have actually helped me so much. Thank you.

Phil smiled as he and Dan went through the comments of his video. A lot were huge paragraphs about other people's stories and, although it made him sad to know how common abuse is, he was glad that people were helping and giving each other advice.

It made him feel like he had made a difference.

This is probably one of my favourite stories that I've ever written... is it bad that I actually really like it? Or is that too bigheaded..?