This is the main chapter where the abuse starts so.. I thought I'd warn you. Be safe and read with caution.

"Phil!" Noah screeched, running towards him with his arms held open. When they got nearer, they hugged tightly, both wearing soft smiles. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Phil mumbled but he couldn't tell if he was lying or if it really was the truth.

Noah leaned forward for a kiss but Phil pushed him away, murmuring a "no".

-

"Phil, you really messed me up." Noah said, looking at the man with teary eyes. Phil bit his lip, feeling his heart clench with guilt.

"I know.. I'm sorry-" Phil started.

"I know what I did was bad but there was no need to hurt me? Doesn't that just make you as bad as me?"

"Does it?" Phil couldn't look Noah in the eye because he knew it would just make him cry.

"I think so."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be. You made me really depressed... I'm sure you know how it feels."

"I do; it's horrible."

"I'll be happy again if you take me back, you know? Give me one more chance?"

"I don't know, Noah." Phil mumbled.

Noah placed his hand on Phil's knee and his eyes began to fill with tears. "Please..? I don't want to be depressed." Phil nervously looked at Noah's hand, unsure.

"O-Okay." He forced out when he saw a tear leave Noah's eye.

Noah's face immediately lit up and he leant in to kiss his boyfriend. Phil had to hold back tears.

-

Dan walked into the kitchen to find Noah and Phil eating breakfast together, acting like a couple. He couldn't bear to look at them. "Dan, guess who are back together?" Noah exclaimed with a smirk on his face that basically screamed trouble.

"You're not..." Dan said, shaking his head.

"We are." Phil squeaked, his voice shaking.

-

"Do you want to do something tonight?" Noah asked with a pleading smile.

"Not really, Dan and I planned to watch the rest of our anime later-" Phil said, biting his lip slightly.

"Shouldn't you put your boyfriend over your best friend?"

"I promised him."

"Do you not care about me? I'm going back to America in a couple of weeks."

"I do but I don't want to let Dan down."

"So you're willing to let me down for him? I can see how important I am to you."

"Noah-"

"No, I feel like I'm nothing to you."

Phil swallowed, looking at his boyfriend with doubtful eyes. Surely Dan would understand? "Fine." Phil blurted out. "I'll do something with you."

"Yay!" Noah was suddenly smiling again like nothing had happened. "How do you feel about going to a club?"

"I don't really like-"

"Please..?"

"Okay."

-

Dan seemed slightly angry that Phil had changed plans but he let Phil go out with Noah anyway. That was how Phil ended up in a large room, full of people and shaking with loud music. The crowds made him nervous: most people were drunk and dancing. Noah was off to get them some drinks (Phil specified no alcohol) but Noah came back with two bottles, both alcohol. "I said no alcohol." He mumbled but he still took it from his grasp.

"They didn't have anything else. It's only weak too." Noah replied, smiling as Phil took a small sip. He pulled a face that made the other man laugh loudly. "You'll get used to it."

He didn't argue, not wanting to upset his boyfriend.

-

Phil was very drunk around an hour later and Noah seemed almost sober. "Noah.." Phil mumbled, his voice slightly slurred. "I wanna go home."

"Do you?" Noah replied with a smile. "We've only just got here."

"Too many people and I'm tired."

"Just another hour or so? For me?"

"No." Phil dragged out the 'o', speaking his mind due to his drunk state.

"I'll be right back, I just need the toilet." Noah said before disappearing.

Phil sunk down to the floor, his back pressed up against the wall. He reached into his pocket, his whole body shaking. He couldn't even remember his pass code, was it his birthday? What was his birthday? He couldn't remember.

Luckily, it started to ring in his hand. It made him jump but he eagerly picked it up.

"It's eleven, where are you?" Someone said with concern written all over their voice.

"Can't hear you." Phil mumbled, standing up and staggering out of the room to where it was quieter.

"It's eleven, where are you?" Dan repeated.

"I don't know but I wanna go home."

"Are you okay, you sound kind of.. are you drunk?!"

"Noah said it wasn't strong..."

"Phil, is Noah with you? Can he take you home?"

"He left to go to the toilet but hasn't come back."

"That little shit (ah swearing again)." Dan muttered and Phil heard some rustling. "I'm coming to get you."

"Noah..?"

"He can die there for all I care. Go outside for me?"

"Mm.. okay." Phil wandered out a door and suddenly he was outside.

"Do you see any signs? Shops?"

Phil looked around, blinking as he tried to get his bearings. "Uh.."

"I'll take that as a no."

"No."

"Is there anyone around?"

"No."

"I'm going to kill him."

"I don't know what to do!" Phil randomly just burst into tears and Dan bit his lip, not knowing what to do.

"Do you want to go and find Noah? I'll stay on the phone, okay Philly? It will be okay, you'll be home soon."

"Okay." Phil sniffed, walking back inside the building and searching through the masses of people for Noah. He quickly found him, sipping at some strong alcohol as he watched all the people dance. "I wanna go home." Phil mumbled, poking Noah's shoulder.

"I said one more hour."

"And I didn't agree. I wanna go back to Dan." Phil held out his phone and Noah sighed, taking it.

"I'll bring him home in half an hour." He went silent for a moment. "He's fine.. just drunk." Noah began to frown and then sighed loudly. "Stop being so protective. He isn't a child. He wanted to get drunk anyway."

"No, I didn't!" Phil whined, trying to take the phone back.

"Half an hour." Noah quickly said, hanging up the phone. "You wanted to get drunk!" Noah began to shout, roughly grabbing Phil's arm and dragging him out the building. "Why would you lie?"

Phil was about to argue but he couldn't remember... did he want to get drunk? Maybe he did.

"S-Sorry." He managed to say, tears immediately filling his eyes because of the guilt swelling up inside his chest.

"You should be! You made me look absolutely horrible and Dan already hates me! He might stop us from seeing each other and you wouldn't want that, would you?"

"I don't know."

Noah's frown was quickly expanding and his right hand was slowly getting higher. "What do you mean you don't know? Of course you wouldn't want that! I make you happy."

"No, you don't-"

Slap. Phil let out a loud cry, tears immediately plummeting down his cheeks, stinging where he had been hit. "I do make you happy." Noah's voice was stern and so Phil nodded.

"I'm sorry, you do!"

"That's what I thought. Now, come on, you've ruined today completely. Let's go home."

-

The red mark on Phil's cheek had pretty much faded when he got home due to the large amount of tears. He walked in the door, Noah by his side. "He's really drunk." He said to Dan who just sighed, shaking his head.

"Did you force him to drink?" Dan immediately asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Not at all. He insisted he could handle it."

"Yeah, right.. That's not like him at all."

Noah shrugged. "I didn't think so?"

"You shouldn't have let him drink this much."

"I'm sorry. I tried to stop him but he insisted it was okay."

"Just go away. I'll look after him."

Noah nodded, half-heartedly waving. "Bye then." Dan didn't reply, he just took Phil's hand and pulled him towards Phil's bedroom.

"Don't wanna sleep." Phil whined, refusing to lay down on his bed. "Not tired." Dan knew Phil was lying as soon as he let out a large yawn.

"You have to. You'll feel better in the morning."

"I have to see Noah in the morning so I don't wanna sleep." Phil pouted, making Dan sigh loudly.

"And why don't you want to see Noah?"

"He hurt me."

"I know he did but he has changed now, I think."

"I mean today."

"What did he do?"

"You'll make me stop seeing him."

"Tell me, Phil."

Phil bit his lip, shaking his head.

"Please?"

"He slapped me because I lied to him."

"He didn't..."

"He did."

"Go to sleep, I'll deal with him tomorrow."

Phil giggled, his mood suddenly changing. "Danny will protect me." He then slid under the covers and closed his eyes. Dan leant down and kissed Phil's forehead before going into his own room.