Chapter 12

So much.  Just so much and so little I could allow myself to actually process....

That Luke was out of my life for good and now Jack too.  That I myself was kind of out of my own life too as Morgan Honeywell.  This was Albany and though I missed her, I did not miss this bullshit corrupting my life.  I couldn't process how we were leaving.  Running like fugitives.  I didn't know what to think.  Everything was fine and fucking dandy yesterday.  However, I should have known this was coming with all that happened with Luke.  Either way, thinking and pondering all this came later.  I had to get moving the moment Jackson told me we were leaving.

I grabbed some clothes, Luke's coat, my phone, gun, and all the money I had in my house.  And as painful as it was, I took my little buddy's collar off and took that with me.  He was coming with me one way or another.  And sadly enough, it had to be in thought.  That was something I couldn't think about though right away. I just focused on getting the few things I could and jumping into Jackson's car with him.  He didn't bother taking much either.  Just money and clothes, and shockingly enough, his weapons I never knew he had.  Like two hand guns and a shotgun.  The dude wasn't messing around.  It gave me a little hope between the blur of everything.  Of how hopefully we could end this somehow soon and come back home.  But to be fair, hope was small for how on edge I was.

I was shook up.  It was the middle of the night and we were driving.  My thoughts were scrambled.  But I suppose I could be thankful for my mind going crazy.  With thoughts of Luke, of questions how to live now, thoughts of the FBI... that mindset lead to thinking about Spencer.  That and what he also told me.  How the FBI came to talk to him about something.... Something that was weird for the FBI to do. 

As I sat there thinking besides Jackson, just as we started to drive, more rational thoughts came.  Of what Spencer told me... I knew it was suspicious.  But seeing as these guys were really here and after me, I realized that Spencer was approached by not the FBI.  He couldn't have been.  The FBI would have no reason to question him when they already knew everything.  But after tonight... it made sense that it really was the men after me that spoke to him.  That could mean he was in danger since I was leaving; these freaks would go to my 'boyfriend' thinking he would be helping me. 

That made me speak up the moment we started to accelerate down the road.  The car was filled with tension and panic.  Jackson's hands were tight on the wheel and his body I noticed was sitting up very straight.  The streetlights coming in and lighting up the interior every few seconds, I took in his face with that passing of light.  His eyes were brown beams ahead.  Alert.  He actually looked very worried and not his stone self.  At least he didn't look as shocked.  He was thinking.  

"Jackson," I said, swallowing.  I just hope he would understand and be on board.... I wouldn't blame him if he wasn't.  But I can almost guarantee they would go after Spencer.  They watched Luke for three damn years, they would definitely be on Spencer's ass and maybe kill him since he didn't know where I would be. 

"What?" he asked, tense.  His voice was shaky but still hard.  

"Listen, I don't think it was the FBI that talked to Spencer now," I started.

He scoffed in a disappointed way, as if just now thinking about that - and agreeing that had to be right.  He glanced over to where I was sitting in the passenger seat, facing forward out at the road.  Head tilted, I watched him very carefully though.  "You are probably right.  One more warning sign that this was going to happen...." he said, shooting me a glance.

"Listen," I said, faster.  We really couldn't waste much time. I needed to tell him now.  "We need to tell Spencer he needs to run too. To get away.  They will look for me there. They know he is associated with me."

"No," he said strongly, shaking his head.  "No.  That is a huge risk.  Huge.  They could already be there."

My eyes widened.  This couldn't happen.  I didn't want to be the reason for someone else's life being destroyed too.  That's how it was before.  I screwed with this lives of Luke and his whole family.  Now with Jackson.  I didn't want Spencer to be dragged down by this. 

"That's what I'm talking about! We can't let them kill him.  Jackson, I will not fuck up anyone's life again.  I'm not going to let that happen this time.  I can't.  It will be really quick. In and out, we both leave town and he goes his separate way from us."

Eventually, as I continued to push, Jackson did cave surprisingly.  It was one of  the first times he really gave into something so huge and I would be grateful forever for what he was allowing.  I knew he understand my point; that Spencer really was in danger. 

Of course, I was so concerned just getting Jackson on my side, I didn't even consider what I was going to tell Spencer by the time Jackson screeched to a stop at his apartment.  The tall building was daunting, reaching up into the sky several stories. Looking up at it, I knew I had to hurry though.  I had no time to lose and I didn't bother.  I just got out of the car, took my gun just in case, and ran up to where his place was.  My pace was fast but just under jogging; I needed to get there.  That's all I could think.  And when I did, I didn't stop before I heavily knocked on the door.  Like it was such a huge weight for my hand to make that knock.  I was dreading telling him he needs leave as soon as possible.  I was dreading even more telling him why.

But when he answered his door... I felt like I had to be careful and slow though I knew I couldn't.  How could I just drop a bomb on Spencer like that?  Especially seeing his very sleepy eyes when he opened the door in a grey shirt and sleeping shorts.

"Morgan," he said groggily, clearing his throat after speaking.  He blinked some of the sleep out of his eyes thanks to the bright lights in the halls.  Even more because I was sure he was shocked to see me here at this hour.  "What..." he yawned and shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck.  "What are you doing here?"  His eyes sparkled through the sleepiness.  Showing me admiration and worry; confusion. 

Before I could answer, I noticed him in the door frame move slightly and grab the edge of his ajar door.  He was about to step aside and gesture for me to come in.  However, he then noticed how distressed I was.  Not to mention, I had a gun tucked into the side of my waist band.  His eyes grew more serious as he looked me over carefully and saw that.  He raised an eyebrow, tensing up, and trying not to focus on that I had a gun on me.  I saw that shook him up right away.  "What's going on...?"

I had to tell him the truth.  As much as I could, as fast as I could.  It didn't matter if he knew about me or not.  I needed to him to be safe.  "Listen, it's a long ass story, but you need to leave town.  That wasn't the FBI you spoke too.  They were men after me.  They are after me to take me, okay?  And if they can't find me, they will look here for me.  Do you understand?  You need to leave town and if they can't find you, they won't look hard for you.  They will be too focused on me if they pick up on where we are."

His eyes grew more with every word I spoke to him. I knew he wouldn't just say, 'yep okay got it' and I was right.  No normal person would just accept my words and leave.  He needed more.  The issue was I was scared we didn't have much time. "What are you talking about? I--"

"Spencer, I do not have time.  My name is not really Morgan.  It's Albany Higgins," I whispered, staring and searching his eyes, his face.  He just stared down at me interested, stunned with parted lips.  His eyebrows were low, confused, and calling me crazy.  He didn't understand.... "I was put into Witness Protection.  These people are after me, and I'm afraid they could come for you.  So please - please - be driving and leaving town as soon as possible.  Today. Right now.  Please."

There was a very long and quiet pause.  A very long moment as his eyes searched mine.  They looked at me differently for the first time.  As if not seeing me anymore.  "You lied to me? This whole time?" he asked through a shocked voice and tone.  It instantly triggered a ping in my chest for him, who I sincerely have come to care about.  I would miss him and one day, I do hope to see him again. 

His eyes stayed in mine for a long time.  With time short as it is, and how paranoid I was, even if just for that moment... I was frozen in time.  Staring at him and hoping he could see how sorry I was in my eyes.  I felt awful for him to learn about me this way.  But he needed to know now and not later. 

"I had to.  I'm so sorry.  But I'm telling you because you need to leave right now," I put in a slower voice, hoping he understood where I was coming from.  Understood he had to leave right now.  I stepped closer to him where he was standing in his apartment door, the frame made of a dark wood he was leaning his body again.  His body was tight as he stared down at me, frozen.  Closer to him, I was breathing harder.  He just needed to understand....

"Albany.  Not Morgan," he stated.

He was just trying to get past that.  Maybe I should have just told him people were after me for no reason to have sped this up.  But it came out and of course, he did deserve to know.  Just wasn't worth the risk of talking more. 

"Yes.  I came to this town hiding from people under the name of Morgan.  But these guys found me and are coming for me.  I have to leave town." I grasped his hand; he needed to get this through his skull.  "I have to leave town with Jackson.  And you need to leave town too, your separate way to be safe because they will be looking for me.  They will come here and maybe think I'm with you.  So I want you to be safe.  So please leave.  Please.  Do you understand?"

He stared at me hard for the longest moment.  And slowly, he just started to nod at me.  "Yes.  O-Okay.  I'll go.  But please... please be safe." His eyes dropped to the floor, dazed, and I knew that he wasn't used to this stuff falling on you.  And even then, it's hard to let big news like that sink in.  I heard in the quiet space between us his breath pick up.

"I need to go.  But you leave.  Leave as soon as you can, okay?" I asked him, my voice shaking slightly as I bit my lip.  

"Okay..." he whispered.  But in the process, his fingers wrapped in mine as he stared down at me.  Looking a little on edge with those light eyes of his.  "Okay, yeah, I-I guess I'll be going by tonight.  I understand.  I just wish I knew more.  But I guess I can't know more right now.  But just tell me this.... Did you really like me and want to be with me?  Or was I a cover for you?"

My heart jumped again.  Because he wasn't a cover and I didn't like the feeling that came over me at the idea that he thought that.  "I did care and I did like you.  A lot," I nodded, squeezing his hand. But you did kind of use him to get over everything even if you did care.... I shook my head slowly, my heart picking up with how I knew I couldn't stay longer.  I wish I could offer him a more genuine and warmer goodbye.  He deserved it.  Staring up at him, I gave him a sad smile.  "I'm sorry about all this."

"It's okay, don't be sorry," he told me in a soft voice.  "I hope we have time later.  I hope I can get to know you more if this ends right."

"Just look me up online, you'll find enough," I said under my breath, laughing softly as I saw his eyes.  They were no longer tired.  But scared for me.  "I hope for that too," I nodded up to him more seriously.  "I need to go now though.  You need to pack and go too."

He nodded, looking down.  But before we could part ways.... I saw his eyes not leave mine.  Instead, his eyebrows lowered more and his hand not in mine extended out and wrapped around my back quickly.  Blinking, I didn't stop him as he pressed my chest against his.  And though lately I haven't been in the mood to have much romance happen between us, I found this to be an exception.  I held him back to me as well as I felt him dip his head and softly kiss my lips.  He was warm and I would miss that warmth.  But all I could think was that we needed to get moving.

I forced myself to break away first and stared up at him.  Kissing his cheek one more time, I bite my lip as he held me.  Only to slowly look up at him.  "I know you don't know much.  I'm sorry.  I'll try to contact you if this ends well."

"Alright," he nodded.  Looking down, I watched him raise a hand behind him and rub the back of his neck.  "Be safe."

I nodded, pecking his lips one more time.  "Goodbye Spencer," I whispered as I squeezed his hand once more before letting it go.  His eyes were sorry in mine and he offered me a soft gaze before I could turn and start to quickly walk down the steps of the apartment.  Back to where Jackson was waiting in his black slick car for me.  Probably of edge even more and pissed because I made him stop for this.

By the time I walked through the dark parking lot to the car, watching everything around me, I quickly opened the door.  Getting into the passenger side, I took a deep breath as I slammed the car door shut.  I could feel the relief hit me of being back in the car.  Where we could book our asses out of here.  But a feeling of sadness came over me as well.  Still shocked that this was even happening, I just knew deep down that we may very well never return to this place that has slowly become my home for three years.  I would miss Spencer.  I would miss my home.  But I missed Luke and Jack even more and it was because of these bastards that I wasn't with them now. 

Resting my elbow against the passenger side window, I let my palm prop up my face with my cheek.  My eyes staring out the windshield endlessly as I tried thinking of something to stabilize my feelings, I heard nothing but silence.  Jackson said nothing.  He just started the car and brought it to life.  I could feel him glance over every few seconds but he said nothing.  Not until we were on the road, the interstate, and driving.  I was too stunned at the moment to even ask where we were going and what he meant by what he said before about the FBI not helping.  But Jackson wasn't as stunned as I was.  He started to question me.

"Alright, I know this is hard.  But you need to start talking.  Why did they find you?  What did you do?  And I mean what did you really do; no BSing me," he spoke quietly, his eyes brightening with the lights hitting us from other cars and the moonlight.  His attention went back to the road ahead.  His question unfortunately still applied.

Well since I was telling the truth tonight... why stop?  Jackson needed to know anyway about how I found Luke again and he found me.

So I told him.

***

It was about 3:30 in the morning.  I have been on edge but after all this shit... I was exhausted.  And that's before mentioning that I explained to Jackson everything that happened.  He demanded every signal detail with a violent voice once I told him I met with Luke.  So I told him everything and didn't test him.  Told him how ironic it was how we met.  How Luke did not know that I was in Witness Protection - and that's why I punched Jackson. How we knew it was risky but we met after that a couple times.  How we decided enough was enough and that Luke went home not that long ago.  I told Jackson that I dyed my hair because meeting with Luke made me scared and paranoid.  I told Jackson the truth about everything.  I figured he would appreciate that a little better. But I mean... I guess it was keeping him more awake as he was driving.  It was keeping him more up and he in return was keeping me up.

"I mean, how could you be so stupid?  You knew those men were watching him!  You knew how risky that was.  My fucking god, you are so smart and you do something like that...." I watched him shake his head from where I was reclined back in the passenger seat.  Staring up and to my left to him, I saw his jaw tighten even more somehow.  If you guys are dumb and couldn't tell... Jackson was pretty pissed off at me.  I just tried ignoring it but he was right.  I was stupid for it and I knew it.  I knew it each time me and Luke were meeting.

"Listen, I know for christ--"

"Do you?" he asked, tilting his head down to look at me for a small second.  I had loosened the seat belt around me so I could be comy more.  I was also wrapped up in Luke's coat because we didn't have blankets.  Laying on my back, I tried not focusing on Luke at the moment.  But rather Jack's dog collar I was playing with in my hand. 

"Yes! Jesus man, I know.  I know it was stupid.  But I want to see you try to say goodbye to the girl you love and haven't seen in three years.  You would want to see her again too.  You would have done the same thing I would have done."

"I would have known that it wasn't worth the risk!" he said back to me loudly. 

"I know it wasn't worth risking his life over--"

"Yours! It wasn't worth the risk of you being taken Albany!  Why don't you try to think about that too!"

I just shook my head and closed my eyes.  Going into the dark behind my eyelids, that was soothing.  I understood completely where he was coming from. If I was him I would feel the same.  But I know he had to understand where I was coming from on this.  I just didn't need to hear this.  I was tired, shook up, and I didn't need this - and Jackson didn't either.

I sighed deeply, calming my system with my eyes closed tighter.  "Jackson, what's done is done.  I'm sorry you got dragged into this.  You really didn't have to help me and I understand if you want me to go on my own.  But please... please don't talk to me like you are my father," I groaned, shaking my head.  Finally opening my eyes too as I stared up at him as he drove next to where I was reclined back. 

He sighed and I watched him scoff to himself. "You're damn right I'm not.  But I would love to know who didn't teach you common sense," he mumbled and shook his head, pursing his lips.  "Anyway, you are right there isn't anything we can do about it now.  But I can still be pissed off," he said in a darker tone.  I scoffed myself at his words, rolling my own eyes.  Of course he would be still pissed.  Time would take that away with the distance we drive.  It was that thought that also made me feel terrible about this situation. 

I know Jackson is my guardian but this had to go far over the job description. He didn't need to do this for me and I was happy he was willing to.  If I were him, I would have gave me some money and wished me luck.  No more.  But he really did care and it means a lot to me.

Staring up at him, I sighed softly.  He was still pissed and he wouldn't stop being for a while.  I decided - based on that and how helpful he is being - to hold off my questions until later.  It was very late, he was tried, and we were both stressed big time and pissed.  We can save other arguments for off the road. Right now, I had the chance to sleep.  But just as I started to snuggle deeper into Luke's coat, I was going to at least ask one thing I couldn't take not knowing.

"When do you plan on stopping for the night?" Hopefully never.  I was still scared shit-less and I bet Jackson was.  But nobody was following us and I could bet my nerves were talking. If I could just have my little buddy here now, I would feel better.  Or maybe some goddamn food because along with being tired, I'm hungry.  But I would take Jack any day over that.  The thought of him gone forever left a huge ache in my chest.

I had to bite my lip though.  I wouldn't let it take me over.  I had to get sleep, not cry like a baby right now.  I couldn't think about Luke, even with his jacket around me.  I couldn't think about Jack, even as I held his collar.  Almost impossible but at the same time, it made me feel better and calmer. 

"Just before dawn," he said in a groggy voice, clearing his throat a bit.  After all, we have been driving a while now. Most of the time it was near or along the coast down Connecticut towards New York.  Now we were in New Jersey, heading down and in more towards Pennsylvania.  Jackson kept me updated and if he didn't, I was paying attention to the signs most of the time anyway.  "I want to stop right around Philadelphia.  I can grab some fast food on our way in and I can get a game plan going tomorrow after we wake up."

I nodded, sighing and resting deeper into the seat.  Maybe I can get an hour sleep.  Who knows.  But what Jackson said.... Food.  Sleep.  Hell yeah.  Oh god give me some cheap food and a motel and I will be a happy camper or close to what I could come to one. 

I was happy I did get that extra time to sleep too in the car. Gradually, with the sound of the car driving, the feeling of it gently moving... it sent me under and into a sleep I needed more than I knew I did.

***

It was scary, not knowing where we were going.  But even worse was knowing we couldn't go back.  They would be coming after me and I couldn't handle that.  I couldn't process it.  Where would we go now and why...?  For which reason, which routes, and what will happen when we get there?  I thought my sleep would at least slightly ease my worries.  But it didn't.  It only made me feel worse.  Made me take in everything that happened even more. From how everything was normal and boring... to this.

From the moment my eyes found his emerald ones after all these years... that's when it started.  And it couldn't have stopped, no matter how stupid I was being like Jackson said.  Which I was.  We both weren't being smart but we knew it too.  We knew we shouldn't have kept seeing each other after that but we still did.  And now... now my dog was dead.  Now, Luke was still out of my life and for good now.  Now I was running, without a home and life.  And I was dragging Jackson along with me.  I didn't even have Spencer, nor my job most likely.  It just all... all that hard work... went right down the shitter. 

It made me want to close my eyes the moment I opened them in the little motel bed that was parallel to Jackson's.  It's not like I had much of a choice though.  Jackson opened the drapes that were hanging by the long window looking out over the parking lot and the road that got us on the highway.  At least it wasn't too bright.  It was about two in the afternoon when I woke and the sun wasn't directing in like it would in the early morning.  But if that didn't do it, the awful smell of coffee raised my senses.

I just groaned from where I was laying on my side, facing the bedside table between the two beds with matching dark green comforters.  Grey and brown carpet to go with the oh so gorgeous color scheme this place had going, at least the walls were white when my sleepy eyes found them.  But that was before I saw Jackson, sitting in the middle of his bed with a cup of coffee in his hand.  I watched in interest as he sipped at his cup, not seeing I was up yet.  His eyes were bent down and studying the huge map he had layed out before him.  There was a pen in his hand not holding the cup, hovering over the map with intention to give us direction.

I noticed a rare sight to see: Jackson with messy bed hair.  Hanging around his face as he looked down to study the map.  For once his long brown bangs not curled back and slick, it was an interesting sight.  Of course, he still slept in the same looking clothes.  I could only hope he was in a mood for answering questions.  But honestly at this point, would you?  I wouldn't but I had to start asking.

Sighing, I sat up in bed where I had been laying and fighting myself to turn around and sleep.  But I wanted to know what was going on.  Yawning, my eyes glanced over to the little table that had a little lamp.  As well as my hair tie I had.  Grabbing it, I started putting my hair up in my bun without brushing it.  After all, it would just be a day of driving today.

Seeing me up, he raised his brown eyes up to mine and looked at me with a blank face.  "You slept long," he said in observation.  Pursing his lips, he couldn't peel his eyes away from the map long.  Or his mouth from taking another sip of coffee (since there is a coffee maker in the motel room here). 

I nodded. "I know.  I was really tired," I said, taking a deep breath.  I didn't wait long to ask him.  "Okay Jackson listen."  I grabbed his attention again, looking down for a small moment.  Crossing my legs on the bed as I faced him on his, I asked.   "Yesterday, you told me that we were on our own.  The FBI can only clean up our mess... but can't help.  What the hell is that about?" I asked, my eyes shooting up and into his.

I watched Jackson sigh, not at all looking enthused enough to talk about this.  But he knew I wanted to know and that I probably needed to know as well.  With that, I watched him move from where he had been sitting cross-legged, more towards the edge of the bed and facing me a little closer.  Setting his coffee down, his gaze penetrated mine. 

"Albany... Listen.  The FBI... you know you were a special case for them.  And... I know you are still in their 'system' technically.  But you and I kind of branched and drifted away from them, if you get what I mean."

Uh... huh?  I didn't get it.  Or rather I didn't want to because I did not like at all the way this was sounding.  It sounded like we were helpless and they weren't even there for me anymore.  Then again, they seemed like liars lately anyway.  Which started to make this a bit more harder for me to handle. "Um, no I don't get what you mean.  These people should be here protecting me!  And so far they have just lied.  They said they spoke to Luke and they never did."

Jackson sighed.  I noticed a difference in him instantly.  He tensed up and his eyes, for a long moment, fell to the bed he was sitting on as he spoke.  "Alright.  Besides the fact that they have been unresposive to some things, they have told me... quite a while ago... that Reid was no longer one of their primary targets.  As years past... it didn't get better," he said.  And struggled to get through that I could see.  He seemed ashamed and he should have.  He was apart of the FBI!  He knew this the whole time and never told me?! Oh and how out-fucking-ragious was it that Reid is just not that important like before!  Well fuck me ladies and gents.  Wasn't this perfect?

"You never said anything to me!  They weren't even... they weren't even watching for signs," I realized.  "No they leave just you to protect me.  How ball-less can those assholes get!" I said in a loud voice, raising from the bed to my feet, throwing the cover that was over me off.  "A-And you!  You never even told me they weren't looking for Reid as much!"

"Why would I tell you?  That would just make you worry when I can't do anything about who's the most wanted and who's not.  I work for the FBI, I don't call the shots," he said up to where I was standing and staring down at where he was sitting on the bed.  He narrowed his eyes up at me as he spoke in a grave voice up at me, his eyes staring daggers mine.  "Do not start this.  I am in control; I have known about Reid not being a priority.  Everything would have been fine and stayed that way if you and lover boy didn't continue meeting up."

That shut me down.  Only because it was true but even still, I was upset.  Why didn't Jackson tell me?  I know he didn't want me to worry or be scared so I suppose I understood.  But this was my life and I deserved to know everything that was making it revolve. Like I said though last night.... It was over and what's done is done.  So was this.  I couldn't do anything about it.  Besides be mad at him.  Which I planned on staying.

"I can't believe we aren't getting any help.  None.  Just because Reid isn't a priority, shouldn't they still help us?  What the hell are we suppose to do!?" I asked, eyes wide and trying to appeal to Jackson's for an answer.  He only stared up at me, not breaking.  He tightened his lips in a scowl and raised a brow.  

"They don't owe you anything, not when you were lucky to get in to begin with.  So we work it out.  We push on.  We travel further.  If it we need it, we can find help, one way or another.  Stop freaking out," he said sterly to me, but in a sure voice that was reassuring to me.  One I had to nod too.  One I had to trust.  I had to.  What else could I do?

Not much.  I trusted Jackson - well enough that he was here and on my side to help me.  That's what I had to go with and did.  He was on my side, even if we were mad at each other.  And we were on the same path.  He was mapping out where to head to next.  And the plan was to keep going through Pennsylvania west and head south a bit into West Virginia.  The plan was really just to keep driving for now, no matter where.  Just to get away from Connecticut and where we were before.

No matter where we were going though, it meant leaving right after we got ready and packed the few things we had and the fewer things we brought into the room.  We were out and driving by four and according to Jackson, it would be smart to stop at around nine or ten tonight.  Then to start driving for an extra long day the next day.  I agreed.  But first thing is first: get through today with half the day already done.

Time flew by fast.  We were mostly quiet while we were driving.  Conversation actually occurred - not something that ended with us fighting either.  "You ever been through the Appalachians?"  Jackson brought up to me as we were just pulling out of a little gas station we stopped to in a small town.  A very small churchy looking town out in the country.  With a corn fields that lined one side of the road, the other open fields with scattered houses and trees. Wide open spaces.  The sun started to lower more in the sky and turn the first shade of orange.  It lit up the gorgeous fields along side of us and for once this whole time, it put me at peace.  His words brought more peace to me as well.

Looking from the window to where Jackson was concentrating on the road, I smiled softly.  "No," I scoffed.  Such a ridiculous thought... but I understand why he asked.  Looking back out and ahead of us, I took more in.  There were some cars ahead of us, some behind spaced out, and it was nice because it was a simple road.  A simple town.  I licked my lips as I continued speaking.  "You know about my childhood, my life.  The only time I left town really was when I ran away and when Luke and I went a few places, no more than a few hours away though."

"I was hoping you had at least some relief from that shit..." he spoke softly, his eyes glazed slightly as he stared out ahead of him, his hands eased on the wheel.   

"Not really.  I was happy with Luke.  But I mean before that it was hell.  I couldn't stand the idea of ever going back to a life like that with that stupid fucking bitch."  Clare.  God I'm happy I shot her.  It still haunted me, yes.  I still hated that I killed my mother.  But at the same time... she wasn't ever my mother. The only reason I might wish I could take back what happened was because of what happened.... That I took away Luke's baby.  But I couldn't handle thinking about that right now.

"Well we are changing that," Jackson said.  His tone didn't change.  But his words brought about a lighter subject.  "We will be driving through them, which--"

He was cut off from speaking.  As was both of our breaths.  Nothing was stable and all within a second.  Thanks to the rough jolt, the hard impact, coming from behind us and on Jackson's side.  We were hit by a vehicle. And with the force... with my scream and shock and rush... it was clear that this way in no way an accident.    

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I want to apologize if this is not as smoothly done as it usually is to you, readers.  Like you can tell, it's hard to write when you are so busy and when I do, I feel like so much time goes by... I just hope it wasn't too scattered and it flowed well.  I hope you enjoy it :)

I also want you to know that if you comment and I can't get back to you right away like I usually leave comments or responses, it's because I'm busy.  Like I have yet to respond to comments from a few chapters back so I am sorry for that as well but I will get to it!