Things had been too good.

Leia should have known that something was going to tip the scale eventually. Her grandmother had always told her that life had to find a natural balance, and while the concept of that had gotten Leia through some low moments in her life, she often tried to ignore it during the good bits. 

She'd texted Taylor as soon as she left the office, asking the blonde if it was okay if she dropped round to her apartment. She didn't want to do this - but she didn't really know what else she could do.

If they called law enforcement or tried to file a lawsuit of any kind, Dylan would have enough time to publish those photos. If they found him guilty or even turned up on his doorstep, he'd have enough time. She'd ran through every possible scenario in her head and there just wasn't one that was fool-proof. She needed time - she needed clarity and she needed to figure out how the fuck she was going to keep her little sister safe from the media and press.

Leia wasn't stupid - if Georgie had just been sending those pics to an average old college student that she studied with, it would be bad but would be brushed over quick enough. 

But Niall wasn't just any college student. He was Niall fucking Horan. He was arguably one of the more influential members of One Direction right now. If those photos got out, it wouldn't just be a scandal... it would be a media frenzy. She remembered what it was like when Harry and Taylor were together for a few short months, long before Leia and Taylor had ever met, and she knew that with the way social media had grown since then, it would be just as horrific for Georgie if not more so.

Leia's stomach churned at the thought of her sister's face splashed across tabloids, her privacy shattered, her future potentially ruined.

Leia's phone buzzed with Taylor's reply.

'sorry - I forgot to let you know. I had to fly back to london for a quick award appearance with joe - i'll be back tomorrow morning. very last minute. everything okay, love?'

Maybe it was better Taylor wasn't in, because now Leia was even more pissed off.

Couldn't she just have one minute in her life without Joe or Dylan or some stupid interruption making things so hard for her? What had she done in a past life to deserve all the hell that the universe was currently putting her through?

Leia's fingers hovered over her phone screen, torn between unleashing her frustration on Taylor and maintaining her composure. She wanted to scream, to throw her phone across the sidewalk and watch it shatter into a million pieces. 

She opted for a brief, noncommittal response. She knew Taylor would probably sense that there was a bit of an off-vibe about the text, but maybe that was better. Maybe it would make what was coming easier for her.

'It's fine. we can talk when you're back.'

As she walked, her mind raced through potential solutions. Could she reach out to Niall directly? No, that might only complicate things further. What about appealing to Dylan's humanity? She scoffed at the thought. Dylan had proven time and again that he had none.

She found herself at her apartment building, staring up at the familiar brick facade, before she even realised she'd arrived. The elevator ride felt interminable, each floor ticking by with agonizing slowness. Leia leaned against the cool metal wall, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm her racing heart.

At least Georgie was at class, so she'd be able to avoid facing her for now. She still wasn't even sure what to say to her and had been pretty successful in avoiding her as much as possible since the iHeart Awards. 

As she fumbled with her keys, dropping them twice before managing to unlock her door, Leia silently prayed for an empty apartment - hoping that Azul wasn't checking in on Tate like he usually did when she was out and about and not needing him near her. She needed space, time to think, to plan her next move without interruption.

But as she stepped inside, the familiar sound of a soccer match drifted from the living room. Leia's heart sank. Of course, Niall was here. She'd completely forgotten she'd given him a key for emergencies.

"Hey, Leia!" Niall's cheerful voice called out. "You're just in time for the second half. United's up by two, but I reckon City's got a comeback in them."

Leia gritted her teeth, biting back the urge to snap at him. It wasn't Niall's fault that her world was crumbling around her. He had no idea about Georgie, about Dylan, about any of it. To him, this was just another lazy afternoon watching football with a friend.

She forced a tight smile, willing her voice to remain steady.

"Hey, Niall. Didn't realise you'd be here."

"Yeah, hope you don't mind. I was coming to visit Georgie but got her class timetable mixed up so she told me to just use the spare key and wait for her to get back later. Thought I could keep Tate some company."

The large black dog was rested across his legs, his eyes shut as he ignored Leia's presence. If anyone could sense that something was wrong with her, it was the dog. He'd made several attempts to try and keep her company and now was in a somewhat bad mood with her and ignoring her - as much as a dog could, anyway.

Leia bit the inside of her cheek, tamping down the urge to snap at him. It wasn't Niall's fault that her world was crumbling around her. He had no idea about Georgie, about Dylan, about any of it. But his carefree attitude, with her dog on his legs, his presence in her sanctuary when all she wanted was to be alone, it was all too much.

"Want to grab a beer and join me?" Niall patted the spot next to him on the couch, his easy grin a stark contrast to the tension radiating from Leia. 

"I'm okay thanks, enjoy the game."

She moved to the kitchen, desperate for a moment to collect herself. Her hands shook as she poured a glass of water, nearly spilling it on the counter. She could hear Niall in the other room, cheering as one of the teams scored a goal.

Leia gripped the glass tightly, her knuckles turning white as she tried to steady her trembling hands. The cool water sloshed against the sides, threatening to spill over with each subtle shake. She lifted the glass to her lips, desperate for something to soothe her parched throat, when a particularly loud cheer from Niall in the other room startled her.

The glass slipped from her grasp, shattering against the granite countertop with a resounding crash. Shards of glass exploded outward, scattering across the kitchen floor like a constellation of razor-sharp stars. Instinctively, Leia reached out to catch the falling glass, her palm slicing against a jagged edge.

A sharp, stinging pain shot through her hand as crimson blood welled up from the cut, stark against her pale skin. The metallic scent of blood filled her nostrils, mingling with the fresh, clean smell of spilled water. Leia stared at her injured hand, watching as droplets of blood fell to the floor, joining the puddle of water and broken glass.

"Leia? You okay in there?" Niall's concerned voice called out, followed by the sound of his footsteps approaching the kitchen.

Panic surged through Leia. She couldn't deal with this right now, couldn't handle Niall's well-meaning concern when her world was falling apart. She needed space, needed time to think, to breathe.

Niall appeared in the doorway, his blue eyes widening as he took in the scene before him.

"Jesus, Leia! What happened? Are you alright?"

He moved towards her, reaching out to examine her bleeding hand. The gentleness in his touch, the worry in his eyes, it was all too much. The dam inside Leia broke.

"For fuck's sake, Niall! Just leave it!" she snapped, yanking her hand away. Her voice trembled with a mixture of pain and frustration. "I don't need your help. Just... just fuck off, okay?"

The moment the words left her mouth, Leia regretted them. Niall stepped back, hurt and confusion etched across his features. The silence that fell between them was deafening, broken only by the distant sound of the TV and Tate's concerned whine from the living room.

Leia's shoulders sagged, the fight draining out of her as she moved to the side of the kitchen, reaching into the cupboard with her uninjured hand and grabbing at the small first aid kit she knew had some bandages in it. 

"I'm sorry, Niall. I didn't mean... I'm just having a really bad day."

Niall's expression softened, concern replacing the hurt. "It's alright. We all have those days. Let me at least help you clean up this mess and bandage your hand."

"No, it's okay. I've got it. I think... I think I just need to be alone for a bit." She took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. "Could you do me a favor? When Georgie gets back, can you tell her I've got a migraine and I'm resting in my room? I just... I can't deal with anything else right now."

He stood there for a moment longer, clearly torn between respecting her wishes and his desire to help. Finally, he sighed.

"Alright, if that's what you want."

As Niall retreated to the living room, Leia let out a shaky breath. She quickly wrapped a bandage around her hand, wincing at the sting.

Once the kitchen was clean, Leia retreated to her bedroom with Tate jumping off the couch and following her close on her heels. She stepped inside, closing the door behind her with a soft click and allowing herself to slide down to the floor as the weight of everything crashed over her. Tears burned behind her eyes, but she blinked them back furiously. She couldn't afford to break down now.

Tate nudged at her hands, trying to get close to her and press his snout close to her face in reassurance. She caved, wrapping her arms around his thick neck and burying her face into the thick fur of his neck as he pressed himself against her.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there before Niall knocked on the door, causing her to jump slightly.

"Leia?" Niall's voice was muffled through the wood. "Georgie's home. I told her you weren't feeling well. She's worried about you."

Leia closed her eyes, guilt twisting in her gut. "Thanks, Niall. Tell her I'll be fine, I just need to rest."

She heard his footsteps retreating, followed by the murmur of voices in the living room. Georgie's concerned tone drifted through the walls, and Leia's heart clenched. How could she protect her sister from this nightmare?

How could anyone?

_____

True to her word, Taylor had flown overnight and landed in the early hours of the next morning. Azul had called up to Leia's apartment at 5am to let her know that Tay's bodyguard, Drew, had text him once they'd arrived back to her place, having heard from Taylor that Leia had been wanting to see her the night before.

Leia had thanked him, turned over, and promptly gone back to sleep.

Now, it was 10am, and she knew fine well that if she didn't text Taylor back, the blonde was going to turn up on her doorstep with no warning. The events of the previous day came rushing back, and she felt a wave of nausea wash over her. With a deep breath, she pushed herself up, wincing as her bandaged hand throbbed.

Tate, who had been curled up at the foot of her bed, lifted his head and gave a soft whine. Leia reached out to scratch behind his ears, finding comfort in the familiar gesture. "I know, boy," she murmured.

She padded to her en-suite bathroom, avoiding her reflection in the mirror as she splashed cold water on her face. The chill helped to clear her foggy mind, but did little to ease the knot of anxiety in her stomach. After brushing her teeth and running a comb through her tangled auburn hair, she pulled it back into a messy bun. She changed into a fresh t-shirt and sweatpants, not bothering with anything more presentable. What was the point?

Leia took a deep breath, her hand hesitating on the doorknob. She could feel Tate's warm presence at her side, his tail swishing gently against her leg in a silent show of support. With a soft click, she opened the door and stepped into the hallway, the hardwood floor cool beneath her bare feet.

The apartment was quiet, save for the gentle hum of the air conditioning and the occasional rustle of paper. As Leia padded down the hallway, the living room came into view, bathed in the soft morning light filtering through the sheer curtains. And there, perched on the edge of the couch, was Taylor.

The blonde was hunched over her phone, her fingers moving rapidly across the screen. A glossy magazine lay open on her lap, its pages slightly crumpled as if it had been hastily discarded. Taylor's brow was furrowed, her lips pressed into a thin line that spoke volumes about her mood.

Leia hesitated in the doorway, suddenly feeling like an intruder in her own home. 

She made a note to tell Azul that from now on, he had to let her know if he was going to let others just come up into the apartment - regardless if they had keys or not. First Niall, now Taylor... at the time she wanted to see them the least.

She cleared her throat softly, causing Taylor to look up with a start.

"Oh, hey," Taylor said, her voice carrying an edge that Leia couldn't quite place. "Georgie let me in before she left for class. She said you weren't feeling well yesterday?"

She scribbled out that mental note for Azul.

Leia nodded, moving further into the room. "Yeah, I... I had a bit of a rough day."

Taylor's eyes flickered to Leia's bandaged hand, a question forming on her lips before she seemed to think better of it. Instead, she set her phone aside and picked up the magazine, holding it out to Leia.

"Anything to do with the fact you had a very public run-in with Dylan at the iHearts and didn't think to mention it? That I had to find out from Tree, who thought you'd have told me, when she started to see the stories come out yesterday?"

She felt sick to her stomach, knowing this was just the beginning of the storm that was about to hit Taylor.

"Tay, I..." Leia started, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry. I should have told you. I just... I didn't want to worry you."

"So you just thought this didn't matter? That I didn't at least deserve a heads-up? Do you know how ridiculous it is to see YOUR girlfriend with another man in a really close position when you were literally yards away? And you weren't even going to tell me – why?"

Leia laughed bitterly, running her uninjured hand through her hair. 

"Oh, I don't know, Taylor. Maybe because I knew you'd react exactly like this. It shouldn't matter what the press say about me, right? As long as they're not saying you and I are dating. Wouldn't want to mess up your perfect PR relationship with Joe, would we?"

The moment the words left her mouth, Leia knew she'd gone too far. Taylor's face paled, her eyes widening with hurt and shock. The silence that fell between them was deafening, broken only by Tate's soft whine as he sensed the tension in the room.

Taylor's voice was quiet when she finally spoke, trembling with barely contained emotion.

 "That's not fair, Leia. You know it's not like that. My being pictured with Joe is different, and you know it."

"Is it?" Leia challenged, even as a part of her screamed to stop, to take it all back. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're more concerned about maintaining your perfect image than spending time with your girlfriend - again. And now, when I'm dealing with my own shit, you're upset because I didn't immediately run to you?"

Taylor stood up, her slender frame taut with tension. 

"That's not what this is about, and you know it. I'm upset because you didn't trust me enough to tell me. Because you're clearly going through something, and instead of letting me help, you're pushing me away and lashing out."

Leia's chest heaved as she struggled to contain the storm of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. She wanted to scream, to cry, to tell Taylor everything about Dylan and Georgie and the impossible situation she found herself in. But the words caught in her throat, choked by fear and pride.

"You want to help?" Leia said, her voice low and strained. "Then maybe stop worrying about what the press is saying about me and focus on your own little perfect PR relation. Go back to London, go back to Joe, if I'm that much of a fucking inconvenience to you!"

"Leia, you're being ridiculous-"

"It just seems that sometimes you'd rather just be with Joe, that you'd rather just kiss him and be with him and step out in public-"

"Maybe I would!" Taylor shouted back, her chest heaving with adrenaline. Her blue eyes blazed with defiance, but also fear of what she had just revealed.

Oh.

Leia stared at Taylor as the blonde's chest rose up and down, both of them out of breath from their back and forth shouting. Leia's face contorted with hurt and betrayal as she struggled to process Taylor's words. She could see the regret written all over Taylor's face, but it was too late to take back what had been said.

"What?" Leia whimpered, her voice softer and quieter than Taylor had ever recalled it.

Taylor stumbled over her words, trying to explain herself. But Leia couldn't hear it, couldn't bear to hear how her girlfriend would rather be with someone else.

"I don't mean-"

"You'd rather be with him?" Leia ground out, her voice a little firmer now and the hurt leaking through. Taylor winced, throwing her hands up in the air and running one through her tousled blonde locks in frustration.

"No. Well sometimes, but not like that-"

"Oh, so how am I supposed to take that?" Tears streamed down Leia's cheeks now, her voice trembling with emotion. "You've thought about being with your FAKE boyfriend instead of me?"

Taylor glared at Leia, annoyance on her face as the other popstar cut her off again.

"If you'd let me speak, that's not what I'm trying to say!"

Leia's eyes flashed with anger, her fists clenching at her sides. 

"Well what else could that fucking MEAN, Taylor?" Leia snapped back, ignoring how Tate's ears pressed back against his head as he watched them from the corner of the room. "You just said yes."

Taylor took a deep breath, her shoulders sagging. "I'm saying that sometimes, yes, I wish things were simpler. That I could just be with someone publicly without all the secrecy and complications. But that doesn't mean I want to be with Joe instead of you."

"Doesn't it?" Leia's voice was bitter, laced with hurt. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you'd rather have the easy option. The one that doesn't require hiding or lying or dealing with my 'complications'."

"Yes, it's easier," Taylor breathed, closing her eyes shut as she grabbed at her head. "Do you know how much easier it is? To just be what everyone expects of me?"

"Right," Leia laughed, a bitter sound with no warmness behind it. "So you'd pick ease over love?"

"That's ironic - considering you're the one that's standing here trying to call things off," Taylor snapped back, fury in her eyes again. "You're the one who isn't even willing to fight for us. For this!"

"I HAVE been fighting," Leia yelled, causing Taylor to flinch ever so slightly. "How can you not see that? I've been fighting ever since you roped us into doing this STUPID fake relationship plan! I've been killing myself just to try and have moments alone with you - because that's all I can fucking have. Moments alone and behind closed doors and secrets and silences!"

"You agreed to that!"

"Because I didn't want to FUCKING LOSE YOU!" Leia screamed back, thanking the heavens that Georgie wasn't here or she knew the girl would have tried to interrupt their fight. "Everything I have done has been because I didn't want to lose you, to lose us. Coming on your, hiring Zaria, watching as you and Joe get closer and closer each day while I have to stand in the shadows like a broken discarded toy."

"I don't love him. I love you!"

"Oh sorry - a broken discarded toy but it's okay because I'm your favourite, right? Your favourite to play with that isn't Ken doll Joe?"

Taylor huffed, feeling like Leia was twisting everything she was saying. She didn't want Joe. She wanted Leia.

"You knew I wasn't ready to come out," Taylor snapped back, her frustration rising as Leia tried to place all the blame on her. "I told you this from the very start."

"It's been almost three years," Leia quipped back without hesitation. "I thought after three years you'd finally be able to put aside your fears and be willing to just let the world know. Three years and you won't even move in because you're worried someone will figure out we're together when you leave here in the morning!"

"I'm not ready-"

"Then how am I supposed to believe you ever will be?" Leia snapped, causing Taylor to go silent as the words sunk in. "In five more years? Ten? When one of us dies? We aren't in the 1950s nor are we in some variation of Evelyn Hugo - I literally cannot be secret for the rest of my life for you."

Leia knew she'd hit a string there. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo had really struck a cord with Taylor when she'd borrowed it from Georgie a year prior, and Leia knew that she'd seen herself in the book. But Leia had too - and she knew exactly how it felt to be in Celia's shoes.

"I love you, but I can't do that to myself," Leia said a little softer, tears pouring down both of their faces as they stood across the room from each other. "I won't."

"Leia..."

"Don't-"

"Do you think you're a saint?" Taylor snapped, cutting her off. Leia recoiled as if she'd been slapped, her eyes widening in shock at Taylor's sudden venom. Taylor pressed on, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation. "I found your little secret stash this morning."

"What?"

"You know, the little white bag of fucking cocaine tucked away in your sock drawer?"

Leia's face drained of colour, her mouth hanging open in shock. The accusation hung heavy in the air between them, like a physical barrier neither could cross. She wanted to say that she had forgotten that was in there, but there was that slight nagging reason at the back of her head why she hadn't thrown it out after Dylan had given it to her.

"I... I don't..." Leia stammered, her mind racing to find an explanation, an excuse, anything to deflect from the truth that had just been laid bare.

Taylor's eyes narrowed, a mix of hurt and disgust evident in her piercing gaze.

"Don't even try to deny it. I saw it with my own eyes. How long, Leia? How long have you been hiding this from me?"

Taylor laughed bitterly when Leia didn't reply. 

"Oh, that's rich. You're accusing me of choosing the easy way out with Joe, but you're the one turning to drugs to cope?"

Leia had thought the worst part about being blackmailed by Dylan was going to be the look on Taylor's face when she told her they weren't working, and needed to call things off. She thought she was going to feel nothing but guilt and regret as Taylor sobbed to her, begging for them to fix things.

She hadn't thought Taylor was going to hurt her just as badly.

"Is this all we are now?" Leia whispered, her voice sharp. "Doomed to just ignore every awkward conversation and ignore that maybe we aren't working?"

Taylor refused to meet her eyes.

"You tell me," Taylor muttered. "If this is it, then just say the words and it's done."

For a moment, Leia considered confessing everything to Taylor. From the original meeting at the bar on the 4th of July to Georgie's nudes being hacked on Niall's phone to the blackmail... but her heart dropped as she looked at the expression on Taylor's face.

She wanted Leia to say it.

She wanted Leia to be the one to end it. She wasn't even going to fight for her. She was ready to throw it all away.

The silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating. Leia's mind raced, trying to find the right words, but everything felt hollow and meaningless. She took a shaky breath, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Is that really what you want, Taylor? For me to just... end it?"

Leia wanted to throw up. Taylor sat, staring at her hands as if it had already been finalised.

"I don't get a choice in this, do I?" Leia breathed. "You've already decided we're done."

Taylor's head snapped up, her blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. For a moment, Leia thought she saw a flicker of something—regret, maybe, or fear—cross Taylor's face. But then her expression hardened, a mask slipping into place.

"You did that as soon as you started this conversation."

"Taylor-"

"I want you to be honest with me," Taylor said, her voice tight. "About everything. The drugs, your feelings, what you really want from us."

Leia let out a bitter laugh. "Honest? That's rich, coming from you. When have you ever been truly honest with me, Taylor? With yourself?"

Taylor flinched as if she'd been struck. "That's not fair—"

"Isn't it?" Leia interrupted, her voice rising. "You talk about honesty, but you're the one living a lie every day. Pretending to be something you're not, hiding who you really are from the world."

Taylor's jaw clenched, her hands balling into fists at her sides. "You have no idea what it's like—"

"Don't I?" Leia challenged. "I've been right here beside you, Taylor. Living in your shadow, watching you pretend to be in love with someone else, knowing that you're not willing to ever love me in the way I fucking deserve to be loved. Do you have any idea what that does to a person? You want an easy fucking way out Taylor, and you want me to give it to you."

They stood there, staring at each other across the room that suddenly felt like an insurmountable distance. The ticking of the clock on the wall seemed deafening in the silence.

"What else am I supposed to think?" Leia's voice broke, tears streaming down her face. "You found drugs in my drawer and instead of talking to me about it, you're using it as ammunition. You're pushing me away, Taylor, and I don't deserve being shackled to you and Joe for the rest of my goddamn life."

It wasn't true. Leia would have done anything to be with Taylor forever - but Georgie was her sister. This was for Georgie.

Leia watched as Taylor stood up, grabbing her coat from the back of the loveseat and stuffing her feet into her shoes by the door.

"We're done, Leia," Taylor said, realising that Leia wasn't going to say anything. "Go be fucking free, or whatever."

And then Taylor walked out of the door.

Out of Leia's life. 

She stood frozen, staring at the space where Taylor had been just moments ago, her mind struggling to process what had just happened. The silence that filled the apartment was deafening, broken only by the soft whine of Tate as he nudged her leg, sensing her distress.

Suddenly, the weight of everything came crashing down on Leia. Her legs gave out, and she crumpled to the floor, her body wracked with violent sobs. The pain in her chest was unbearable, as if someone had reached in and ripped out her heart. She gasped for air, each breath a struggle as the reality of losing Taylor sank in.

She'd done this to herself. She was the one who brought Georgie into this life in the first place, she had agreed to let her live in New York with her. It was her fault that Georgie had even met Niall in the first place, her fault that Dylan had this vendetta against her forever. 

Through tear-blurred vision, Leia's eyes landed on her bedroom door. Without thinking, she scrambled to her feet, stumbling towards it with a desperate, single-minded focus. She burst into the room, yanking open her sock drawer with trembling hands. There, nestled among the neatly folded socks, was the small bag of white powder that had been the final nail in the coffin of her relationship.

Leia clutched the bag, her mind racing. She knew this was wrong, knew that turning to drugs would only make things worse. But the pain was too much, the emptiness too vast. She needed something, anything, to numb the agony tearing her apart from the inside.

She knew this was wrong, knew that it wouldn't solve anything, but the allure of numbness, of escape, was too strong to resist. With trembling hands, she emptied the contents of the bag onto her nightstand, not even bothering to split the powder up or keep it neat on the counter top.

"Fuck it," Leia muttered, her voice hoarse and raw.

She leaned down, her auburn hair falling around her face like a curtain, blocking out the world. The first haphazard line disappeared in a sharp inhale, the burn in her nasal passages a welcome distraction from the ache in her heart.

Her heartbeat quickened, and for a brief, glorious moment, the pain receded. She laughed, a hollow, bitter sound that echoed in the empty room. Is this what Taylor thought of her? A junkie seeking solace in chemicals?

But as quickly as it came, the high began to fade. The numbness receded, and in its place came a crushing wave of guilt and self-loathing. Leia curled into herself, hugging her knees to her chest as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. The drugs had done nothing to erase the image of Taylor walking out the door, nothing to silence the echo of her final words.

As the crash hit, Leia was overwhelmed by a sickening realization. There was no escape from this pain, no chemical shortcut to healing her broken heart.

There's no drug in the world that could numb the pain of losing the love of her life. 

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sorry guys, it's only gonna be rough for a liiiiil bit i promise :)