Her lips were softer than Leia expected. She knew the girl was a fan of lip balm, but the slight taste of honey was unfamiliar to Leia but equally just as welcoming. It was slow, in a careful way, like a small fisherman's boat heading into a storm.

Holy shit, Leia thought as her arms linked themselves around the blonde's neck, I'm actually kissing Taylor.

Strangely, that wasn't the most surprising part for Leia. Rather, the most surprising part of this entire kiss was that just as Leia went to pull away she was pulled straight back against Taylor's lips, the blonde running her hands through the longer locks of the brunette.

Taylor took a small step forward, allowing Leia to bring her back into the apartment and for the blonde to shut the front door behind them both. Leia stumbled slightly as the door shut, causing her and Taylor to both erupt into laughter, breaking apart with flushed cheeks and huge smiles.

"Took you long enough," Taylor murmured in the darkness as she reached her hand out to latch into Leia's in the comfort of the girl's apartment. In here, there were no liars and no paparazzi and no back-stabbers. In here, it was just the two of them, their unresolved tension and nothing but admiration for each other.

Leia's heart raced as she felt Taylor's fingers intertwine with hers. It was a simple gesture, but it held an undeniable weight to it. The words hung in the air, lingering like a secret between them. Leia could see the vulnerability in Taylor's eyes, the same vulnerability that mirrored her own.

"I... I didn't want to rush into anything," Leia replied softly, her voice barely above a whisper. Taylor squeezed her hand gently, a reassuring pressure that sent warmth spreading throughout Leia's body. "I just wanted to make sure... this was real."

"I understand," she said, her voice filled with understanding and tenderness. "Believe me, I've been there too."

Leia looked down at their entwined hands, tracing the lines of Taylor's palm with her fingertips. It felt comfortable, familiar, as if they were two puzzle pieces finally fitting together after years of searching.

"Tom..."

"I've been wanting to leave him," Taylor admitted, no hesitation in her voice. "I think... I think I was only with him because I couldn't have you."

Tears welled up in Leia's eyes as the weight of those words settled on her shoulders. Leia grinned, her heart beating against her chest like a wild bird trapped in a cage. She couldn't believe that Taylor Swift, the superstar herself, was standing in her humble apartment, holding her hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. It felt like a dream, one she never wanted to wake up from.

"You're not making this easy for me," Leia said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I mean, you're Taylor Swift. You could have anyone you want."

"But I want you," she said, her voice filled with sincerity.

Leia closed the small gap between them, her lips brushing against Taylor's once again. This time it wasn't a slow exploration, but a kiss filled with longing and unspoken desires. The world outside seemed to fade away as they lost themselves in each other's embrace.

"Tay, kiss me again."

So Taylor did.

___

A few days had passed since their spontaneous make out session. Leia hadn't seen Taylor since as the blonde had various important studio sessions scheduled and she herself had been doing various press interviews since she hadn't had the best of press recently. Riven had wanted her to try and get a better image for herself, especially after Dylan had gone out of his way to trash her name repeatedly over the past few days.

Sadly for Leia, it didn't seem like the press would lay off of her and her friends any time soon. The drama between Kanye, Kim and Taylor only seemed to be escalating more and more with every day and Leia was sure they were only moments away from a boiling point - whether or not it worked out in Taylor's favour, she knew the blonde would take it all very hard. The media that had once idolised her was gradually vilifying her and Leia was utterly defenceless against them all.

While she hoped this would resolve itself, it was only seeming to create a heavy stress in their friend groups. Camila had admitted to Leia that the other members of Fifth Harmony weren't that keen on Taylor and were instantly starting to side with Kim and Kayne, despite Camila telling them the truth of the fued. Leia was sure that the drift in the four girls and Camila was becoming more noticeable to their fans every day, and she knew that was another situation that was bound to end in disaster eventually - even if it did end up lasting for another year.

The brunette song writer was in two minds about her and Taylor's kiss. She had stayed the night (they'd gone no further than light kisses and whispering sweet nothings in the dark) and if it hadn't been for the goodbye kiss they had shared when Taylor left the next day, Leia would have thought it was going to be forgotten about. They hadn't spoke other than in their groupchat and while Leia was desperate to talk to someone, ANYONE, about what had happened between them she knew that Taylor wasn't out. She didn't want to risk telling anyone and outing Taylor before she was ready and therefore she kept her mouth shut.

Things were looking up, if she ignored the following situations:

1. Kim and Kayne were on a mad witch hunt.

2. She was pretty sure Taylor was going to break up with Tom because of her. Although, Leia couldn't help but be a little bit chuffed about that.

3. Maybe the more pressing of them all, Georgie and Leia still hadn't spoken.

Luckily for her, she didn't need to think about it for too long, as she had lunch plans with Selena first.

"So, I heard about your kiss," Selena told her as they sat on the beach patio of one of the many fish restaurants Selena had been begging to take her. After discovering she was the only one in their group of friends who had a fond liking for seafood, the singer had been desperate to take Leia to all of her favourite spots.

"Sorry?"

"It's okay, she told me herself. I know," Selena told her as she casually ate another shrimp, a twinkle in her eyes as she watched Leia's jaw drop ever so slightly. They didn't need to say Taylor's name to know who they were talking about - and they both knew if someone had overheard the name Taylor from their mouths that it would be front page news by the end of the day. "How you feeling about it?"

Leia smiled softly as she looked out across the waves of the ocean before turning back to Selena after putting her fork down.

"Great. I think anyway, I don't know if she feels the same cause we haven't really had the chance to speak about it and there is a constant nagging in the back of my head that I've ruined our friendship but she kissed me back so I'm hoping I'm just overthinking things."

Selena blinked slightly as she tried to keep up with Leia's rambling before letting a large grin spread out across her face. She knew her friend was nervous about a lot of things, and Taylor would always be one of them.

"I can tell you right now Hudson that you are certainly overthinking things. While I'm not talking for her, I'll let you know she certainly enjoyed it just as much as you did."

Leia smiled again, leaning back in her seat as she took a sip of water be let everything settle in her veins for the first time in a while. She was sitting in the middle ground of her life. It wasn't insanely incredible, but it wasn't insanely horrible.

She knew the scales would have to tip soon. She just didn't realise how badly they would tip when they did.

____

Leia's fingers hovered over the phone, trembling as if it were a cobra poised to strike.

Swallowing hard, Leia tapped the contact named "Geo" with an unsteady fingertip. The phone emitted its rhythmic pulses into her ear, each beat amplifying her anxiety. She could envision Georgie on the other end, her younger sister's patience worn thin and blood streaming to her ears in fury as her sister finally called her back.

"Hello?" The word was spoken, but it dangled in the air, heavy with withheld emotion.

"Georgie," Leia started, her voice barely a whisper, the name tasting of regret. "I—"

Silence swallowed the rest of her sentence.

Leia's heart clenched as the seconds ticked by, each one filled with the weight of her unspoken words. She braced herself for Georgie's sharp tongue, for the disappointment and anger that would surely taint her sister's response. But to her surprise, the silence stretched on, morphing into an uneasy void.

Leia's heart pounded in her chest as she struggled to find the right words. How could she explain everything that had happened?

"I'm sorry, Georgie," Leia finally managed to say, her voice laced with guilt. "It's just been...a lot. I didn't mean to avoid you, I promise."

There was a heavy pause on the other end of the line, and Leia feared that Georgie would hang up or worse, be angry with her. But when Georgie spoke again, her voice was softer, filled with concern.

"Leia, what's going on? You know you can talk to me, right? We're sisters."

She could hear Georgie's sharp intake of breath, a mix of surprise and anticipation. Leia squeezed her eyes shut, trying to gather the strength she needed to continue speaking.

"I'm so sorry," Leia repeated, her voice trembling with sincerity. "I promise you, Georgie, from this moment on, I will do everything in my power to be there for you."

"I want to believe you, Leia," Georgie said, her voice cautious yet hopeful. "But it's been so hard lately. You've been distant, and I don't know what's going on in your life anymore."

Leia's heart sank at Georgie's words, realizing how much she had hurt her sister without even realizing it. She took a deep breath, her grip on the phone tightening.

"I miss you, Leia," Georgie whispered. "I miss having my big sister by my side, sharing secrets and adventures together. Can we go back to that?"

Tears welled up in Leia's eyes as she nodded, even though Georgie couldn't see it.

"Absolutely," Leia said, her voice filled with determination. "I promise you, Georgie, I'm here for you now. I'm not going anywhere."

And for the first time in a while, Georgie felt like her big sister was back.

____

A week after her and Taylor's kiss, the scales started to slide.

"...we're not sure where she fits into it all, but Calvin certainly has some grievances to sort with Hudson. He's now tweeted seven times in the past hour about her, including a particularly harsh tweet in which he says he has the ability to 'bury her career' before it even properly begins. We can only assume it's to do with her friendship with his now-ex, Taylor Swift, but with this feud seemingly having appeared out of the blue we are still unsure what exactly has prompted his hate fuelled rant..."

Leia rolled her eyes as she shut off the channel, her little sister slowly turning around to look at her as she paced back and forth in their childhood home. After Leia had made up with her little sister, she had decided to fly home to see her family since everyone else was so busy with all of their own projects and dilemmas. She hadn't expected to land and be greeted by one of her own.

"What happened between you guys?" Georgie asked, their parents sitting on the other couch as they silently watched their daughter murmur under her breath about how she would handle this situation.

"I told him I didn't want to record with him because he insulted Taylor," she told them, knowing that was the exact truth - even if he was claiming she attempted to sabotage his album by pulling out at the last minute. "It wasn't worth losing a friend over anyway, the song was dire. Besides, I'm pretty sure he's allowed to release it without my approval so I'm not sure why he's posting that."

"He's twisting the narrative," Leia's dad announced after a moment of silence, causing them all to turn and look at him. "He's withholding aspects of the truth to make his story more favourable on him."

Ronnie Hudson hated that Leia was in the spotlight. It had been the one main grievance about sending his daughter off to pursue her dreams that he wouldn't ever some to terms with, and this was a prime example of why. Linda Hudson had told her husband that Leia was fine, and she had a great manager and publicist but she was cautious too.

Leia nodded, understanding what her dad was pointing out. Calvin was doing exactly that - trying to paint her as the bad guy. Why? She wasn't sure but she certainly wasn't going to bite. He wanted a fued, he wanted the publicity that came with the clash. Leia wasn't going to give him that.

"What are you going to do?" Georgie asked, watching as her sister visibily calmed down after thinking things through in her head.

"Nothing. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction."

____

A week and a half had passed since their kiss, and Leia was finally getting the opportunity to sit down and talk to Taylor. The songwriting duo had both agreed that they didn't want to have any conversations over text or social media DMs in fear that if they ever lost their phones everything would come pouring out into the media before they wanted it to - if they even did.

Leia wasn't sure what they were or where she currently stood with the blonde. Were they friends? Friends that kissed? Girlfriends? She wasn't sure, and she wasn't sure if Taylor would even want to put a label on whatever they might be after how the media usually treats her relationships.

Speaking of the media, Taylor was very aware that it wasn't exactly a great idea to discuss a sensitive topic in the middle of the restaurant they were in, especially since Leia had already spotted someone taking a photo of them from across the room. But she needed to have this conversation, and luckily for her Leia had read a lot of mystery novels as a child and was very capable of following the code words that Taylor was laying out for her.

"So my brother has this friend called Lucy," Taylor started, Leia furrowing her eyes as she at first tried to understand why Taylor was talking about Austin and a friend of his that she had never heard of before. "Basically they kissed like almost two weeks ago and now he's in this strange position of not knowing exactly where he stands with her."

Leia narrowed her eyes for a second before letting out a slight chuckle as she sipped on the wine in her glass, a soft smile on her lips as she met eyes with the curious and slightly blushing Taylor from the other side of the table.

"That's such a funny coincidence," Leia admitted, placing her wine glass down as she folded her hands together with a grin on her face. "I actually spoke to Lucy just last week and she was wondering the exact same thing."

Taylor snorted slightly, laughing at the situation they had found themselves both in. Ever so slightly wine tipsy, and ever so slightly complicated. She watched as Leia's eyes almost twinkled under the dim light of the restaurant, the girl laughing too at the slight snort Taylor had let out.

"What else did Lucy say?" Taylor asked, opening the bottle of wine and re-filling her glass before offering to re-fill Leia's. The girl nodded, holding her glass across the table as she watched the blonde gracefully pour some into hers.

Leia shrugged playfully, liking that this hadn't been a ridiculously awkward conversation like she dreaded that it would be. Taylor seemed very hopeful about the chat which only made Leia feel more confident about where the conversation would conclude.

"That she likes Austin, like A LOT, and she wants their kiss to have meant something more than just in the moment. She said that she doesn't want to ruin their friendship if Austin wasn't to feel the same way, but in the off chance that he does she'd definitely be ready to risk it."

Taylor broke out into a huge grin, her eyes squinting slightly as she felt her heart skip a beat. She wasn't sure what to expect from now on but at least she knew there was a chance for her and Leia.

"Austin definitely feels the same. He just doesn't feel ready for the whole world to know he likes... people like Lucy, you know?" Taylor told Leia, the insecurity and nervous look that she was growing used to slipping on to the blonde's face as she awaited a response - one of hurt or one of abandonment or for Leia to tell her that this wouldn't work.

It didn't come. Leia simply reached out for a brief second, squeezing her hand before letting it go less than a second later to not draw attention to them.

"I'm 100% certain that Lucy would never force him to share that with anyone until he was ready," Leia told her back. "Especially since she never got the choice to tell people it herself."

Taylor's mind flashed back to the leaked photos of Leia and Lauren, a sad smile falling on her face as she watched Leia shrug as if the subject still didn't hurt her. Taylor knew that the panic the girl had felt when the world had found out about her was always going to be there in her memories. That memory would never leave her.

"So what do you think Austin and Lucy should do next?" Leia asked, her smile dropping slightly as she awaited with baited breath a response that might change her entire life.

"I think they should start by taking things slow, then taking every day as it goes," Taylor said, her voice quivering slightly as she watched to see how Leia took her idea. She didn't want to just rush into something and end up running Leia out of town the way she believed she had done with all of her previous relationships even if it wasn't true.

"To taking things slow," Leia said, raising her wine glass as she clicked their glasses together, a small smile on her face as she looked across the table at Taylor. The blonde smiled back warmly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she lifted in wine glass in synchronisation.

"To taking things slow."

Things were certainly looking up for Leia Hudson.

__

Two weeks had passed since their first kiss.

As it turned out, it was wise that Leia and Taylor had been speaking in code when talking about their budding relationship. Only a few hours later, Taylor had told her that apparently some of Taylor's fans had been tweeting about Austin having a new fling with a girl called Lucy - something that Austin hadn't been particularly happy to hear about especially when he certainly did not.

Two weeks had passed since Tom and Taylor had officially broken up. Taylor had told Leia that he didn't even seem surprised when she told him she'd kissed Leia. Leia felt bad for sneaking around behind his back and turning Taylor into a cheater, but he had told Taylor that he'd also met someone new.

Two wrongs didn't make a right, but at least no one was hurt for once.

Two weeks had passed, when Cara called Leia at 5am.

"Leia, have you heard from Taylor?" Cara's nervous and panicked voice asked through the phone, sounding out of breath and rather concerned.

"No, what's up?"

"Haven't you seen the news or twitter or literally anything? It's Kim, she's released a video."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Leia muttered before telling herself to be nice. Something didn't feel right about Cara's tone and sense of urgency. "Wait, what video?"

"It's calling Taylor a liar. Leia... I don't think this will go away for a while."

Cara was right about that. It certainly didn't go away for a long time.

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originally published: august 2020

rewritten: february 2024