"His name is Dylan Redcrown."

"Yeah, we got that part," Selena murmured, still sitting slightly tense on the other side of Taylor's couch as Leia explained what had happened the night before.

Leia sighed, knowing her friend was upset about her having spoken to Justin at the party - and that she had been photographed looking a little bit too comfortable for their group of friends' liking. She ran a hand over her face as she pulled her hair into a tight ponytail while reaching back out to grab the water bottle Taylor had given her when Cara had arrived with her in tow.

Leia was too caught up in defending herself that she hadn't even noticed how uncharacteristically quiet Taylor had been since she had started talking about the man she had been introduced to the night before.

"He's an old school friend of Justin, the only reason I'm speaking to Justin is because he approached me and said his friend wanted to be introduced. And considering all of you bailed and I was on my own, there wasn't really anything I could have done other than meet his friend without making things incredibly awkward," Leia said, her voice a little tighter towards the end of her statement as she reminded them all that they had all left her there without any support.

"A school friend?" Selena interrupted, her voice slightly distance as she furrowed her eyebrows while she thought about all the years her and Justin had spent together. "I don't think I've ever even heard Justin speak about him. Weird."

They all shrugged it off before Gigi spoke up, her long body spread out across the couch Leia was sitting in. The model's legs were on her lap, but Leia had grown so used to this that she didn't even mind in the slightest.

"I shouldn't have left you there," Gigi decided, a hint of skepticism in her voice as Leia tried to convince them that the man wasn't shady at all, despite his bad choice in friends. Leia smiled gratefully at Gigi, appreciating her loyalty and willingness to admit her mistake.

"It's okay, Gigi. I didn't expect things to turn out like this. Dylan seemed genuinely nice, and he didn't give off any weird vibes," she remarked as she took a sip of water, the cool liquid soothing her parched throat. "He's got this laid-back vibe, you know? And he definitely wasn't anything like Justin."

Leia yawned slightly, raising a hand to cover her mouth out of habit as she stretched her limbs out slightly. Cara and Taylor shared a quick look of knowing at why the girl was tired, and the younger Delevingne sister was quick to notice the small shoot of pain that seemed to spread through Taylor's eyes. Cara was well aware that both of the girls had been harbouring secret feelings for each other, but until one of them finally admitted it to the other she knew that they were going to continue to hurt each other.

"Bad sleep?" Selena asked, her expression a little more relaxed despite the one thousand thoughts running through her head. Call her paranoid, but she was so concerned that this Dylan boy was just another ploy from Justin to get back at her again. He had never been happy with just letting Selena mind her own business and despite being broken up, it seemed that his mind games would never stop.

"We didn't really sleep," Leia admitted before she could stop herself. Cara let out a low chuckle as Gigi groaned at the imagine, reaching out and smacking her best friend with the nearest cushion she could get her hands on. "Oh come on guys!"

Leia blushed, realizing she had revealed more than she intended. The room filled with laughter and playful teasing as Gigi and Cara continued to make light of the situation. Taylor, however, remained silent, her eyes fixed on Leia with a mixture of longing and pain.

Taylor's mind was fixated of the mention of Dylan Redcrown. There was something about him that intrigued her, that stirred a deep curiosity within her. She had spent years navigating the treacherous waters of the music industry, learning its secrets and surviving its pitfalls. And yet, here was a person who seemed to be completely unknown to her - somehow finding himself at one of the most respected afterparties of the year.

They fell into a more comfortable silence than before, but Leia would be lying if she said it was completely comfortable. Taylor still hadn't said a word and she was getting confused by the silence from the blonde. It was clear that the girl was upset with Leia about her previous decisions, but Leia wasn't sure who she was to judge how she spent her nights. Leia would much rather be spending them with Taylor, but the girl seemed to want nothing less.

"So did you get his number?" Taylor asked after a moment, everyone's eyes shooting to her in surprise as she finally broke her silence. Leia looked at her for a moment, the lump in her throat present as she faced the reality that the only reason she had gone off with Dylan in the first place was to try and forget about her stupid crush on Taylor.

"Yeah, actually," Leia started, looking briefly at the watch that rested on her wrist. "We're going out later tonight again."

Leia's words hung in the air, the weight of her confession settling on the group. There was a collective pause as they processed the information. Taylor's heart sank, and she felt a pang of jealousy rise within her. It was irrational, when she had Tom and she was sure she was in love with him, she knew that, but she couldn't help her reaction.

"That's great!" Gigi exclaimed, breaking the silence and offering a supportive smile to Leia, since none of their other friends looked remotely happy for her. "It sounds like you had a good time with him."

"Yeah, I did." She glanced at Taylor, her eyes filled with something unreadable before quickly averting her gaze.

As normal chatter began to return to the friend group, Leia let a natural smile fall back on her face as the topic was changed. Despite her friends all smiling back, not one of the women around the table had a good feeling about the situation in the slightest.

Leia had wished they would tell her the truth about how they felt; but they didn't. Maybe if they had, none of what happened next would have occurred.

___

"Hey Leia, are you free? I really need to talk to you," Georgie spoke through the phone, her hand loosely playing with the braid that her hair had been pulled into during her practice earlier by one of her teammates.

She had been trying to get a hold of Leia for a full week now but every time she had reached the girl, she had been too busy to have a chat with her sister. Georgie had really hoped that tonight would be different, that she would be able to convince her sister to give her attention for literally more than one minute but it seemed that Leia was just ready to disappoint her once more.

All of Georgie's life had been spent with Leia constantly going out of her way to make time for her younger sibling. No matter what the pop star was going through, she had always found time for her. Even when she had moved to LA and had singles in the charts, she had been there for Georgie who was left behind with their parents in the UK.

But it was like something had began to change in Leia recently. The girl spent all of her nights out partying with different faces under the sun and all of her days recovering from hangovers while in the studio. She had been cutting their phone calls short, even reaching the record of only managing less than 76 seconds before saying goodbye to Georgie.

The younger Hudson would have been blind had she not noticed the change. Leia was spending less and less time with the friends that she had grown to love, and less and less time focusing on the things that really mattered to her.

Georgie wasn't stupid. She'd seen the photos of Leia with Justin Bieber that night, and she'd instantly messaged her sister the next morning asking if she'd hooked up with the singer because that would have totally broken girl code and Georgie wouldn't be able to speak to her until she knew Selena was okay. Leia had simply laughed, brushed it off and told her that she was seeing one of Justin's friends 'casually'.

That had drawn warning bells right away. Leia didn't do casual. From the day she had been born, casual had never been in Leia's vocabulary. She'd kiss someone and overthink it for weeks. The first time she had a one-night stand, she'd spiralled for days afterwards. While George knew her sister had grown a little since then, after witnessing her relaxed demeanour after having kissed Lauren from Fifth Harmony, this seemed remarkably out of character.

"Hey George, I cant really speak right now."

Georgie sighed in frustration, holding back the urge to launch her phone straight across the room.

"Of course you cant," Georgie snarled before she could even stop herself. "You've never got the time to speak to me at the moment. Ever since you started seeing that... guy."

"That's not fair," Leia argued, but simply from the tone of her voice Georgie could tell she was already distracted by something and not really taking in the words of her little sister. There were shouts of laughter in the background and Georgie just knew Leia was getting ready for another night of heavy partying.

"Oh whatever Leia, next time just don't bother picking up if you're not even going to give your little sister the time of day."

Leia rolled her eyes as the line went dead, throwing her phone lightly on to the counter beside her as she snuggled up into Dylan's side. The phone call was instantly forgotten as she laughed melodically at something that had fallen from Justin's lips, a joke that she would never have found even remotely funny weeks prior.

And when Georgie tried to phone her again the next night, Leia didn't even think twice to glance at the caller ID before swiping her finger left and declining the call.

_____

When Leia arrived to Taylor's Fourth of July party, she was surprised to see that some of her friends were almost looking at her like she had grown two heads as soon as she walked into the kitchen with Cara by her side. They were both kitted out in matching bikinis, Taylor having sent them both to them a few days prior.

Leia noticed an undeniable tension in the air as she made her way through the crowd. Gigi's smile seemed strained, and the Haim sisters avoided making eye contact with her altogether. Even Blake stood at a distance, her expression guarded. Leia's heart sank as she realized that something was amiss. The once warm and familiar atmosphere felt slightly colder, and the smiles on her friends' faces seemed forced. She tried to brush off the nagging feeling, attributing it to her own paranoia.

"Hey, Leia! I didn't expect to see you here," Tom said with a small smile, entering the room and being completely oblivious to the strange vibes that had taken over the kitchen space as the brunette had walked in.

Karlie's gaze met Leia's briefly as she watched her friend interact with Taylor's boyfriend, before she looked away, busying herself with pouring drinks for the rest of the guests while Taylor and Martha were helping to blow up this crazy inflatable water slide that Taylor had got for them all.

"Taylor insisted on me coming and I thought it would be lovely to finally put names to faces in person," Tom continued, pulling the girl into a hug that took her a second to reciprocate. He was so unaware that she had a huge crush on his girlfriend, but that's how Leia needed it to be. Besides, she was enjoying her short fling so far and she knew that one day she'd stop feeling like this for Taylor.

Speaking of whom, Taylor entered and stood by the kitchen counter, leaning against it with a half-empty red cup in her hand as she conversed with Karlie, having not noticed that Leia and Cara had arrived. She wore a tight-fitting white, red and blue striped one-piece swimsuit that accentuated her curves and matched the ones that the other girls had on, her blonde hair cascading down her back in beachy waves.

"What's going on?" Leia murmured to Cara as the attention finally left her, her voice filled with uncertainty and anxiety. "Did I miss something?"

"Just try to enjoy yourself," Cara replied, dancing around the question.

Unease settled in Leia's stomach as she followed Taylor and the rest of their friends outside to the backyard. Things seemed to become less tense as they all watched Ryan and Martha's husband cook on the grill, the drinks flowing a little bit easier.

Leia tried her best to shake off the strange energy that lingered from the kitchen, deciding to focus on enjoying the party. She joined in on the laughter and conversation, trying her best to fit back in with Taylor's close-knit circle of friends and meet those that she hadn't had the chance to meet previously.

The warm summer air enveloped her, carrying with it the scent of freshly cut grass and the distant sound of fireworks. Thankfully, Leia allowed herself to be swept up in the infectious laughter and cheerful chatter around her. By mid-afternoon, the rest of the girls were conversing with her again, almost like their strange reaction to her arrival had been a figment of her imagination.

Leia had bit back the lump in her throat as Tom had came outside, cheers following him as he pulled off his jacket to show his "I <3 T.S" vest top. Leia was sure that she would have found it funny in another lifetime, but instead it sent a pang down her chest once more as she watched Taylor cheer and place her lips against her boyfriend's.

As the sun began its descent, casting a golden glow over the backyard, Taylor walked over to Leia with a smile. Taylor was in the same one piece, a tight pair of denim shorts resting over he legs as she pushed her sunglasses up to rest on the crown of her head. Leia's heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, her feelings for Taylor refusing to fade as she had hoped they would. She was starting to think she shouldn't have came... seeing Taylor in that one piece was not wise for her.

"Hey," Leia said softly, as she took the opened beer glass from her friend's hands. She tried to ignore the way Taylor placed her hand on Leia's bare skin, just under the back strap of her own bikini top. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Taylor turned to face her, her eyes full of warmth and concern. "Sure, what's on your mind?"

"I can't help but feel like something's off today. Everyone seems weird around me, and I don't know why. Did I do something wrong?"

"Before you got here, Georgie called," Taylor admitted, confusion instantly sweeping across Leia's face. Of all the things that she thought the blonde was going to say, it certainly wasn't that. "She's worried about you."

"What did Georgie say?" Leia asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she glanced around nervously, hoping that no one else could hear their conversation.

Taylor sighed, her expression growing somber. "She didn't go into much detail, but she said you haven't been answering her calls or texts. She's concerned that something might be wrong."

"I... I didn't mean to ignore her," Leia stammered, a small irk of irritation flicking in her chest. What right did Georgie have to just start calling her friends because she was busy? "I've just been caught up in everything, you know? She should know I can't be at her beck and call all the time."

Taylor looked at Leia with a mixture of surprise and concern. She had known Leia for only a short while, but she could already sense the subtle detachment that had seeped into her voice. That was definitely out of character.

"Leia, I understand that you're caught up in this whirlwind of fame and success," Taylor said gently, her voice tinged with a hint of disappointment. "But remember, your sister was the one who has been there for you long before any of this happened."

She studied Leia's face, her eyes searching for any sign of realization. But instead, all she saw was a flicker of defiance. Leia's voice had lost its softness, replaced with an edge that betrayed her growing resentment.

"I know what matters," Leia responded coolly, her voice laced with bitterness. "You don't think I see the sacrifices I've made? The late nights and missed family dinners? The strained phone calls where my sister begs me to come home?"

Taylor's heart sank as she witnessed the walls Leia was hastily constructing around herself. She had hoped to reach out to her friend, to bring her back down to earth, to believe that Georgie was just overreacting... but this was weird. She'd been acting weirder and weirder the more she was hanging out with Justin and Dylan. Selena had predicted this, and they'd all just shrugged it off.

"Leia," Taylor started softly, reaching out and placing a hand on Leia's arm. "I'm not saying you have to abandon your dreams or sacrifice your career for anyone. But remember that these people, your family, they were there before all of this, and they'll be there after."

Leia jerked her arm away from Taylor's touch, her voice tinged with hurt as she spoke.

"I appreciate your concern, Taylor, but I've never been happier than I am with Dylan," Leia said, her voice quivering with a mixture of defiance and vulnerability. "He gets me, he understands what it's like to be in this industry, and he supports me unconditionally. And as for Georgie... well, maybe she needs to understand that things have changed for me."

That slapped Taylor in the face, even if Leia didn't see it. Taylor listened silently, her heart aching for Leia. She had seen this before. The blinding infatuation, the seductive allure of someone who seemed to understand the chaos that fame brought.

"I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy," Taylor said tightly, her voice tinged with resignation and a tiredness that Leia hadn't noticed until then. "I want you to be happy, Leia, but I just want you to keep sight of who you are. That's all."

Taylor sighed, realizing that she couldn't force Leia to see things from her perspective. She had to let her friend make her own choices and learn from her own experiences. There was nothing else she could do in that moment, not without ruining everyone else's night.

With those words, Taylor turned away and headed towards the entrance of the venue.

Leia watched her go.

___

"He's not good for you," Cara told her the next week. The blonde was leaning against the door of the studio that Leia had been working in, managing to catch a rare moment where Leia wasn't surrounded by some of her new 'friends' that she had been replacing her group with.

"Excuse me?" Leia asked, turning around on her chair where she had been scribbling words to notice that her friend had turned up unannounced to the studio.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Cara told her. She didn't move from her spot by the door, especially since she didn't plan on staying long. She had a shoot to get to but she knew that she needed to get this off her chest before she would regret not having said anything.

"You're out of line," Leia snarled, her eyes flashing angrily as she felt her annoyance levels towards the blonde rise. It was bad enough that Georgie had started trying to get her friends to talk 'some sense' into her, but she hadn't expected to be bombarded when at work.

"No Leia, YOU'RE out of line. Georgie has been loosing her damn mind trying to reach you! Selena is tearing herself apart with worry for you and Taylor's being driven insane at you ignoring her messages. Even Karlie is starting to get concerned you're getting yourself into something you can't handle and you know what? Gigi and I completely agree with her."

Leia rolled her eyes, going to say something before a figure appeared next to Cara in the door way with hooded eyes and a fake smile plastered across their face.

"Cara! Buddy! You joining us?" Justin asked, passing a cup of coffee across to Leia who smiled in thanks before returning her scowl to Cara.

"No, I'm just leaving."

"No, shes just leaving."

The girls both spoke at the same time. Cara rolled her eyes, sending Leia one last glare before turning on her heel and storming out of the room. Justin raised an eyebrow as he turned back to look at Leia, well aware of what her friends thought about her friendship with him and his group of friends.

Leia shrugged, turning back around and going back to writing in her song book. She would have plenty of time to make her friends understand that they were wrong about her new friends, about Dylan. They would come around to her way of thinking once they understood that Dylan was a perfect gentleman to her even when she wasn't having a good day.

They would certainly see his true colours soon enough.

_____

Seven tequila shots in, Leia was beginning to lose her senses.

Dylan had brought her to one of Justin's infamous house parties that was sure to end up being shut down by police before the night ended. He had shoved a bottle of beer in her hand, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before muttering that he was going to pick something up from a friend and disappearing to the other side of Justin's Californian mansion.

Left in a room with not a single person she knew, Leia jumped at the chance to get some stronger alcohol down her system. One of the various models that Justin had invited had convinced her to start doing shots, and before Leia knew it her vision was starting to getting a little blurry at the edges.

She'd already started to slur her words slightly as she chugged down her fourth bottle of beer, her hand already accepting the next vodka from strangers beside her.

She laughed raucously, the sound echoing in the dimly lit room. The music blared, pounding in her ears as she stumbled through a crowd of dancing bodies. The alcohol coursing through her veins had transformed her into a carefree version of herself, someone who was no longer burdened by the weight of expectations and familial obligations.

Leia hadn't realized how much she craved this kind of freedom until now. The people around her were strangers, but in this moment, they were her friends. Their laughter blended with hers, merging into a symphony of drunken euphoria. Here she didn't need to think about Georgie, or Cara, or Taylor. She could just be.

Just as she downed that and was ready to move on to the next cup, she felt warm breath fan her ear as arms wrapped tightly around her from behind. Leaning her head back into the chest that was pressed up behind her, she was just able to recognise the figure as Dylan.

"I've got something better for you," he muttered, his pupils slightly wider than usual as he grabbed her hand and led her towards where he had disappeared to earlier on in the night.

Leia allowed herself to be tugged through the crowds of party goers, not a single clue of her surroundings as she focused on just trying to stay upright. Dylan's grip on her arm was very tight - something she wouldn't notice until she found the finger shaped bruises on her wrist the following morning.

Stumbling into a significantly quieter room than the rest of the building, Leia found herself swaying as Dylan's support on her wrist was suddenly snatched away. Leia wasn't often self conscious, but when six or seven pairs of eyes fell on her swaying body as the room went silent, well, that would make anyone nervous.

Rubbing her back lightly, one of Dylan and Justin's friends that she had only ever seen in the distance spoke into her ear as if he was guiding a child.

"Dylan told us you've been having issues with those bitches you call friends. We're gonna help you take the ease off a little bit and relax," he murmured, Leia's head spinning as she was barely able to process her words let alone defend her friends.

"Come on Hudson," another one called from across the room, beckoning her over to the table they were all standing around. "Let us show you a real good time."

The air in the room suddenly felt thick with anticipation and Leia's heart raced in her chest as she approached the table. The strangers around her wore sinister smiles, their eyes glinting with a mixture of mischief and malice. Something deep inside Leia's gut screamed at her to turn and run, to escape this dangerous situation before it swallowed her whole.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was her need to feel wanted and fit into a group, maybe it was peer pressure or maybe it was just another stupid decision she would make that month. But whatever it was that lead her into taking those six steps towards that dreaded brown table, it was bad.

And so when Leia finally came down off the high that the little crushed powder had given her the night before, she would find herself completely lost in a situation she had always promised her friends and family that she would never find herself in.

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originally published: november 2019

rewritten: february 2024