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As I stepped on the land of my origin after a day long of tiring journey. I felt my each pore bubbling with excitement. A wide grin appeared on my face as I saw the boundary of our palace. 

Everything has changed. The outskirts were reconstructed. The whole palace was decorated more beautifully from outside. The changes felt new to me yet my own. Everything felt mine. 

As we neared the palace more, I heard the loud commotion. The drum beats getting louder and the other instruments sound also getting intensified. 

"Oh my god, begam sahiba. This is so beautiful. Look at the door, so many people and look at the decoration." Nadira jiji said excitedly. 

I giggled looking out, my heart swelling with love. The feeling of getting back to your home is indeed very  exciting and emotional as well. The smell of our home town's sand even felt soothing. The blow of air felt refreshing the memories. 

I felt someone parting the curtain and I glanced to witness Arya Bhaisa standing there with a huge grin on his face. He extend his hand before me and I giggled pushing my hand in his.

As I came out, my eyes teared up instantly. The feeling of being away from home and then coming back is unexplainable. I know my home is now Mughal palace but this place where I have spent my whole childhood can never get away from my heart. The memories I have spent here with my whole family, attendees and other people will always be close to me.

I washed the tear that slid from my eye and looked at babasa opening his arms wide for me. I ran instantly to get ingulfed in the warm embrace. My safest place. The embrace in which I feel as if I have everything. I feel like the most secured person. The embrace which did not change, it has the same warmness and affection since I was a baby. I cried in his embrace.

He patted my head and said," No no gudiya, no tears, only smiles." 

His own eyes were moist and voice hoarse. I smiled through tears washing the tear that slid his eye and said," No no babasa, no tears, only smiles."

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. 

"Ye bohot sahi hai, ham aapko palki se nikalte hi reh gaye or sara prem aapne babasa par barsa diya."

"This is very nice, I took you out of the palanquin and you showered all your love on babasa only" Arya bhaisa sulked and everyone laughed. 

I left babasa and moved near him who was standing looking away, crossing his arms over his chest pretending to be angry. 

I poked his arm but he did not move. 

"Bhaisa ab ham ro denge"

"Bhaisa now I will cry" I warned and he instantly turned his face toward me looking worried. 

I grinned widely and everyone laughed. He shook his head and took me in his embrace saying," Who will believe you are a Queen now? "

"I might be a queen for everyone but for you I wanted always to be your little gudiya" I whispered and felt him kissing my hairs as he said," You will always be."

He broke the hug and I found Shreshth bhaisa waiting for me to greet him. 

I smiled heartily and moved near him. He opened his arms wider and I hugged him tightly. He caressed my hairs lovingly while saying," How are you butterfly?"

My eyes moistened, I replied being emotional," I am good bhaisa".

He is very less expressive but most loving. His way is unique. If you don't know him, you will find him very egoistic and rude because of his reserved nature but once he let you in, into his little safe zone, you will get to know a very different person. Mature, so affectionate, very intelligent and understanding.

I broke the hug and went toward the main door where bhabhi sa was waiting for me with a big smile adoring her lips. She did my aarti with a wide smile adoring her lips. Later she hugged me tightly and said," I am very happy to see you fit and fine gudiya. I am so happy to have you here."

"Thank you so much bhabhisa" I said feeling so much loved. She is very sweet.

I met with my bua sa and she hugged me as well while being so happy.

I raked my eyes around and when I saw my favourite person, I squealed in joy. 

"Kaanu" I lunged forward and throw myself into her arms. 

"Ishuuu" She hugged me tightly squealing in joy.

Kaanu or Kanika Raj. She is my best friend, my partner in crime and my bua sa's daughter. We both spent a lot time together. She used to stay here a lot along while her brother Uday Raj bhaisa went to gurukul.

We parted and then again hugged giggling.

"I have a lot to tell and ask Ishu" She said excitedly and I replied being more excited," Me too"

"Kids lets get in first then you can begin your gossip" Bua sa said chuckling and we both moved in murmuring with each other.

"Now they both find each other, they will not have the urge to eat or sleep, they will be glued to each other only" I heard maasa saying and we both giggled in response.

I some more relatives.

Then I did not take rest but went to kitchen to greet the head chef kaka and others. They were so much pleased to see me. 

I then went to practise area and meet all the soldiers that used to practise with me. All the memories refreshed and I felt so emotional. Babasa and Arya bhaisa followed me everywhere and then finally after meeting everyone I stepped into my chamber. Rest of the family members were there.

My eyes teared up instantly. 

I love golden and red combination and still my room has same colour theme. The curtains, the bedsheet that has Ishwasa written on it was there. I sobbed looking at the doll which was so dear to me in childhood. My all favourite toys were kept there on bed decorated. I touched everything and more tears rolled down. 

"Don't cry gudiya, this is not done to make you cry but to make you feel loved. We have your everything preserved. Your every loved thing." Maasa said caressing my head and I hugged her tightly.

My eyes darted to one corner and I saw my favourite sword there. I left maasa and went to it with hurried steps. 

"This.. this... my favourite one" I exclaimed laughing through the tears and everyone laughed. 

"Hmm hmm it has to be your favourite given that it was mine." Arya bhaisa pulled me into hug after washing my tears. Everyone laughed a bit.

I scrunched my nose and said," It is mine, look it has my name imprinted on it."

"Okay okay you won" Bhaisa said and I laughed hugging him.

We all settled in the room and talked for a while. The talks were very much entertaining. I enjoyed it so much. We basically talked about the childhood memories. Sometimes it was Bhaisa whose embarrassing stories made us laugh and sometimes it was mine. 

I must say bhabhi sa get mingle with out family very easily and beautifully. She felt like she is staying with us since a long time. She loves bhaisa so much and it is evident. Arya bhaisa loves her too. 

It was late night and we had dinner together. 

Later me and Kanika sat under the comforters on the bed along with some snacks and were all set to talk for whole night.

"So how are you?" I asked her feeling emotional all of sudden.

"Pretty good" She replied blinking her tears back.

"You did not even send single letter in these years Kanu not even you invited me into your marriage, have you forgotten me?" I asked blinking the tears and composing myself. I have noticed her the moment I lay my eye on her. The vermillion, the chuda and the toe rings making her look more beautiful.

She hugged me instantly and begin to sob. I cried with her as well but composed myself while parting away and asked in worried tone," Are you okay? Is everything okay between you and jijosa?"

She composed herself and begin," You were married with Mughal ruler and that created havoc here. My father in law refused to take me as their daughter in law. Everything got tensed. Then your bapusa came forward and agreed to give many horses and gold coins as well as protection and safety to their kingdom. He agreed with many difficulties. I got married in very much chaos that's why did not have any moment to stay connected with you. It took us almost a year to pacify him and then wedding take place. After that everything got more difficult for me, surviving there was a tough task back then." 

I nodded understanding and asked," And jijosa?"

"He is very nice man, Ishu. As we got married, he took the charge of Shishgarh and then returned all the dowry to my babasa saying that he only wanted me, nothing else. This created a huge fight within our family but he did not backed off and later everyone has to agree with his terms only. He always support me. Despite of being bit strict, he never say no to any silly thing that I want to do." She said while smiling.

"Okay... so jijosa is a nice man" I said and she giggled.

"How is my jijosa?" She asked wiggling eyebrows and I felt my cheeks warming.

"Hold on... I want every detail from your kidnapping from war till now. I know tit bits but they do not sum up in a proper story" She asked being confused.

I giggled a bit and begin with the story. I told her about everything how I went to Mughal kingdom and then courtroom meet with Shahenshah and Anwar then the kidnapping, trauma and my wedding.

 We had a good laugh when I told her about My first kitchen.

Then the talks followed and I told her about my first periods. She was shocked. 

"Are you for real?" She asked me and I nodded feeling a bit embarrassed. 

 "He said these things to you?" She asked and I nodded not looking at her.

She hugged me and squealed in joy," Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Ishu he is so so gooodd"

I blushed looking down.

"So he must take care of yours so much during your days, right?" She asked getting excited and I nodded.

"He always take message my foot and tummy during menstruation and take care of me so much." I replied while my cheeks warmed more.

"Haye..." She said dramatically and I giggled. 

I further told her about the tensed things that we have to go through, the conspiracy, war and everything, not mentioning about my personal moments with shahenshah. 

That are ours, I don't find it good to share with anyone and it felt so sinful and dirty as well. I thought to keep it to myself only.

"Ishu... I am so proud of you. I knew that you will prove to be a very great queen and now knowing all these things I am so proud. You are truly a great QUEEN." She praised and hugged me. I reciprocated the hug.

"You tell me, jijosa take care of you or not?" I asked her and she smiled widely.

 "Very much. He is very formal with everyone but with me, he is soft. I felt scared of him initially but he made me comfortable slowly and you know once I got comfortable with someone, I am not near to keep mum. He listen to me patiently. I love him and he loves me as well but he is quite rough on bed." She said while giggling and I felt my cheeks getting warm. 

How can she talk about her bed things like this?

"Aww I was telling about mine and you are blushing? Haha... this is interesting. Ishu is shy. My god" She teased me more and I hit her with pillow being embarrassed while she laughed more and more.

"Okay okay but I have not said anything dirty till now Ishu. Is Jijosa rough as well??" She asked me mischievously and my hands froze mid air. 

I gasped and pushed my face into the pillow timidly while saying," Why are you so shameless".

"Because you are too shy. So one has to balance na" She said giggling more.

 I said in strict tone," I am sleepy"

"Want to dream about jijosa? You know wet dreams?" She whispered last line and I frowned. 

"What?" I asked looking at her.

She gasped. Her eyes enlarge and she asked," You don't know about wet dreams?" 

"Is it related to peeing in your bed during sleeping? If that so I am not a baby anymore." I said being confused and she laughed out loud.

I looked at her irritated. She was laughing like a maniac till now while clutching her stomach. 

"Will you please shut up and tell me?" I said being more irritated.

"You know about hickey??" She asked and I nodded being timid.

"Umm... pleasure?" She asked further and my eyes enlarged. 

"You are so shameless Kanuuu" I screamed and she laughed more. 

She sobered up and asked," Okay as much as I am understanding, tell me how much you know about intimacy between a couple?"

My eyes widened in shock at her question. 

"How can you ask me like this, and why I share my private things to you?" I opposed the idea.

It does not felt right.

She giggled and said," Because I am your best friend"

"Just because of this?"

"Definitely because of this. And don't worry your secrets will be safe with me like they have been since years and I might give you more tips to please your husband" She said and winked at me. 

I looked down feeling embarrassed.

But she is right and I want to know how can I pleasure him. He did everything for me but I have never done anything. 

I was thinking about asking form an experienced person, I can not ask maasa, a big no. Not from bhabhisa as well. 

 I think she is the only person I can share and ask such things with. 

I need to speak less and she will blurt out everything on her own. So she is a good option.

I gulped and wet my lips a bit before saying," I know that husbands can kiss his wife everywhere, even touch her everywhere and and..."

"And...." She asked looking at me keenly and curiously.

I gulped and whispered," He can touch you and kiss your bre... breast and dow.. down there as well"

"Bas??" She asked me furrowing her eyebrows.

I closed my eyes being very much embarrassed while whispering," He can pleasure you by push pushing his fin....finger in as well"

"Did he do everything to you?" She asked being overly excited and I nodded meekly.

"Oh my goodness... Ishu... I am so happy for you!! You know it is very rare for a man to pleasure his woman before taking pleasure for himself and you know you are very lucky." She said hugging me while grinning widely.

I did not say anything but sat there being so much timid.

She looked at me with mischief again and asked," You know only this?" I nodded not looking at her.

"Who told you this?" She said.

I whispered," Shahenshah"  

She gasped audibly while I looked at her being confused. Her hands were clasped on her mouth and eyes wide.

"What happen?" I asked not getting the reason for sudden shock.

"Wait let me process everything. He told you this, I mean everything and only this much. Eeeeeeeee..... he is just too good Ishuuuuu" She screamed and I looked at her sitting dumbfounded.

"He did not told you anything other than this and never did anything?" She asked again and I shook my head. 

"But I want to know more, I know that there is much more things that happen between a husband and wife." I asked with a lot of courage and she smirked evilly at me.

"Ummm... I think I should let jijosa tell you everything. Given that he is too good and loves you too much. But I just want to say that, trust him blindly with yourself. Understand what you want from him. " She said and I shook my head.

"But these things felt so dirty and wrong. And he want me to demand about it." I whispered looking down with my warm cheeks.

"Oh come on Ishu, this is need of our body and nothing is wrong in it. Let him take the lead and trust him with everything. If he is pleasing you then feel it, you are very lucky. He is putting you above him. He is seriously considering you his other half, equal and there is nothing wrong in demanding. This physical intimacy is what makes a couple's bond with each other more stronger along with their love being deep." She said making me understand.

"You too ask for it form jijosa?" I asked hesitantly.

"You will get traumatize my love after knowing what me and he do." She said smirking a bit with a proud face. 

"And as your answer, yes, I speak my feelings and needs out loud. He oblige as well. You know men are always turned on, just a little push and they will be all over you." She giggled and I looked down timidly.

 "But I want to know, how can I please him" I asked hesitantly and she smirked looking at me.

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If you think this chapter is short then let me tell you it is not!!! It has 3k words!!!

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