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68. UNDERSTANDING THE NEED!!

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I looked at him in confusion because I was still feeling something inside but could not figure out where and what.

He kissed my cheek and whispered," Its my finger, inside you"

I gasped loudly and shouted," How can yo do this?"

"And you... you made hole in my body???" I asked feeling horrified looking at him.

He took a deep breath and I saw him looking down. I followed his gaze and he slowly pulled out his finger from my body.

My eyes widened at the sight, his longest finger was in and that too this much. 

My god.

I looked at him for answer while he cleaned his finger with my dupatta and took his hand to caress my cheek. He pulled the comforter up to cover both of us. I held it quickly. 

He kissed my forehead and said," I told you about baby's birth through your vagina?"

I nodded, Yes he told me and that was the scariest thing I have ever heard. 

"My finger was there." I processed the information.

"But why???" I asked the question that was jumping in my brain. 

He smiled and bit his lower lip while hovering over me and caging me between his arm and him. I inhaled deeply feeling suddenly caged. Our bodies have this comforter as barrier but I was feeling like he was touching me bare. 

"Because you were stimulated and you need something to cum and I gave you that by pushing my finger in." He whispered calmly.

While I was anything but calm.

The way he touched me inside there, where I myself never known, existed; I felt him reaching the way past I could ever think of. 

He touched me somewhere, I never thought I would let anyone.

He taught me about my own body. He is making me realise about the pleasure, different type of pleasure, that only he can provide.

 I feel like he owns my body, the way he touches me, the way he cares about. The way his lips glide over each pore of mine marking them his. The way his fingers trace each part of my body where I myself never touched in that different way is too much to grasp. 

I felt a little pain when he pushed his finger in. But I was at peak of my desire, about to cum and when he pushed his finger in, I released. It felt out of the world and suddenly my whole body calmed down. I was feeling light all of sudden. But it felt so wrong.

I trust him with my body. 

But it was too much for me. 

I feel like stupid, I even don't know about my own body.

He was caressing my cheek while I was still thinking about the fact that he pushed his finger in me. 

"Its nothing wrong in it mahroo, it is the basic, very basic thing to pleasure you. Husband should provide the pleasure to his wife before seeking for himself. You know a women's body is very delicate and this is the fragile most part so should be handled with utmost care and respect." He said and I just stared at him.

"But why it felt so wrong shahenshah?" I asked feeling so timid.

"Because its your first time listening and experiencing. Everything will feel normal, just know this that we are not doing anything wrong and I love you so much." He replied kissing my cheek.

"Is it common thing to do for a husband wife?" I asked getting more interested. 

"Yes baby, very much. If you want I can do it on daily basis." He kissed my other cheek twice very softly.

I looked at him timidly and whispered," Everyday?"

 He nodded with a small smirk and replied," But you have to demand"

I gasped ,"I will not"

His smile widened more as he said," Then I will make you"

I looked at him shocked. He kissed my lips softly while saying," I know you baby, I know your body more than you do. And I can force you to beg me for this without even forcing you" I felt my cheeks warming and my heart thumping against my ribcage.

"Tell me jaan, did you like my fingers more or my tongue there?" He asked and I instantly lowered my lashes drowning in the pool of timidity. 

This question felt so wrong.

My heart beat raced and my each pore came into life hearing his shameless question. I felt tongue tied. How I am suppose to answer this?

"Answer me jaan" He asked kissing my nose .

I just shook my head closing my eyes and biting my lower lip tightly in shame.

He tugged on my chin and I felt him kissing my both eyes one by one," I want to know what my wife liked. How she want me to pleasure her. Your body is bare before me, I want your heart and brain bare as well. I want to know each and everything about you which I don't. Communication is the strongest thing in a relation. We should talk about our needs with each other to know more about us baby. This is the way we would be able to love each other more, connect with each other more. So, Tell me."

My heart humped more. I felt this so wrong but he said this is okay and I need to communicate if I want our relation to be strong and yes I want it to be strongest. 

Do everyone talk with each other so shamelessly? 

The relation of husband wife is indeed dirty and shameless.

He was still looking at me with expectant gaze. I peeked and hugged him while saying," I don't know"

He chuckled and hugged me tightly while saying," Okay then, next time I will pleasure you only when you will answer this question." 

I felt so timid. How I will answer him? No No.

But... 

No.

He pushed aside the comforter from my breast and rested his head between my breasts.

 I blinked my eyes feeling so timid. My heart begin to race and clutched the bedsheet tightly in my fist.

He held my hand and opened my fist to put them on his head and whispered," Baby massage my scalp a bit and relax. I am just sleeping."

I blinked my eyes and begin to caresses his hairs while my heartbeats not near to get normal. His subtle beard was pricking my skin arising goosebumps and his warm breath against my one boob was feeling so different. 

He stirred a bit to find comfortable place and my heart came in my mouth. My breath hitched feeling hot all of sudden. I unknowingly clenched my thighs.

He peeked into my eyes and smirked while saying," Baby you are getting aroused, again."

I blinked my eyes not getting and he pecked my lips coming up.

"It means you want me to touch you either with my lips or fingers down there" He said and my eyes enlarged.

I shook my head in no and cover my face with my palms getting so timid.

He laughed out loud while pecking my hands and With this he again rested his face between my breasts and I began to caresses his scalp. He slept in no time.

I thought about the things that he told me and that he did to me. Everything is so overwhelming. 

But one thing came in my brain.

If he can pleasure me, if its husbands duty to pleasure his wife before seeking pleasure for himself then how husbands seek pleasure?

How a wife is supposed to pleasure her husband? 

There must be some way as well.

Nadira jiji told me to bit him as well when he bit me. I reciprocate his kisses as well.

My eyes enlarged and my heart raced more.

Am I supposed to kiss his body as he do to me?

Like he nibble my earlobe, he suck my neck and collarbones.

 Like he kiss my nipples? 

Should I kiss his abs like he do to  my tummy?

Ishu... shut up. You are getting insane.

 But if we are equal in everything then this should be equal as well. No? 

I need to ask someone experienced. 

With this determination I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

.

.

I yawned a bit when I felt some sunlight invading my sleep and I opened my eyes. 

I looked down and found shahenshah still sleeping on me. This is something new. He wake up before me usually.

A smile formed on my lips. I caressed his hairs lovingly and kissed his hairs. 

I love him so much

I hugged him while smiling and soon heard his deep groggy voice which sent different type of chills down my spine," Aaj subah subah bada pyaar aa raha hai humpar. Kya baat hai begam sahiba?"

"A lot of love is coming upon me this morning. What's the matter Begam Sahiba?"

I broke the hug and looked at him who has craned his head toward me putting his chin between my breasts. I blinked my eyes feeling shy.

His eyes so intense which made me nervous in a moment and the way my body is reacting, I was hating it. I was feeling goosebumps all over my body. My buds aching and hard. Wetness was pooling up in my south region adding more to my embarrassment.

Am I needing his touch?

Yes.

NOOO!

I mentally slapped myself for thinking like this and whispered softly," Shahenshah leave me please, I need to get ready as well."

"Dekhne dijiye na jaan, ab fir 4 din baar dekhne ko milega ye noorani chehra. Pta nahi itne din kese bitayenge ham aapko dekhe bina, aapko chhuye bina, aapse mohoobat kiye bina. Abhi ham aapko apni aankho me sma lena chahte hain."

" Let me see na jaan, now I will get to see this magical face after four days. And I don't now how I will survive without looking at you, without touching you and without making love to you for these days. Now I want to absorb you in my eyes."

I blushed profusely. I bet my cheeks will be crimson, they felt so warm.

He chuckled still looking at me and said," Aapke ye gulabi gaal hame behad pasand hai. Hamare ishq ka rang hai ye, jo hame aapse or jyada ishq karne par majboor kar deta hai"

"I love you pink cheeks. This is colour of my love which force me to love you more."

I averted my gaze sideways feeling more timid and he chuckled. He angled my face to his and kissed my cheek. He kissed another cheek deeply and then my lips. I smiled. 

 He looked at me and said," I will miss you so much baby"

I pecked his lips frequently and said," I will miss you too patidev"

He chuckled and moved aside. I gripped the comforter to cover myself. I looked for my cloths. Looking at me struggling he passed me his kurta. 

I held the kurta and waited for him to turn around. But he was shamelessly staring at me. 

I whispered softly," Turn around shahenshah"

He shook his head in no and I widen my eyes. 

"Why would I do so? I have seen everything, my fingers knew the location of each pore of you even my lips have tasted."

He said being utterly shameless and I close my eyes being so shy. 

"Shahenshahh pleasee na" I pleaded. 

I thought he would turn around listening to my pleadings but instead of doing so he came even closer and pulled me in his lap. My eyes widened. 

He pecked my lips and held kurta from my hand. My heart picked up pace and a shiver ran down in my body.

He looked into my eyes asking," May I jaan?"

How could I say no?

I trust him moreover I love him. 

He care for me more than me. He loves me more than me. 

I nodded while closing my eyes. 

He gently pulled the comforter aside and the cool winds touched my body making me tremble. He made me wear his kurta providing the much needed warmth. He then kissed my forehead lovingly and I smiled.

I jumped out of his lap and moved in the bathing room to take bath and do my morning business. I recalled the memories of last night while taking bath and an urge bubbled in me to touch myself. 

I looked down at me while standing inside the pool and tried to touch myself down there. 

As I touched, I did not felt anything.

I frowned. 

When he touched me, I felt shivers, worms, snakes, trembles and what not but when I am touching myself, I feel nothing.

I tried to touch myself slight roughly but nothing happen instead it began to pain a bit. 

I huffed feeling defeated. 

What if I push my finger in? Like he did?

NOO Ishu... don't be stupid. 

He will do it if I want. 

I want.

I was feeling so nervous and timid to admit but I guess I might want him. 

But till yesterday I don't even know these stuff and now that I know, I suddenly wanted him to do more. 

Arghhh. This is so confusing.

He said I can ask him anytime but  I am feeling shy.

I thought I will never ask him but at the same time I feel like experiencing the same thrill again. 

Leaving everything aside I came out of bathing room only to witness both Iqra and Nadira jiji standing there for making me ready. They greeted me and I reciprocated well.

They made me ready in magenta colour lehenga choli and I was looking so pretty in it with all the jewellery and everything. 

I went out when attendee told me that maasa called me. 

Everything was ready, we were standing at the main door. I met everyone including my warrior team and chefs and attendees and guards. Anuraj bhaisa was coming with me at shahenshah's order. 

I was excited to go to Ajmer after almost 3 years, to meet my people, my friends, my cousins and everyone. 

But a part of me was restless. 

This palace felt more mine now. These people felt more close. 

I have a responsibility to take care of them and be their guardian. I was attached to them very much. Even this air felt mine. This sand felt mine.

I smiled at my thoughts when ammi jaan came closer to me and took me into a tight hug while saying," Take care of yourself bacha and your this mother will miss you very much." 

I smiled at her when she kissed my forehead and I touched her feet while saying," I will miss you too ammi jaan"

She caressed my cheek and then I met baaz bhaisa and kissed baby Amira who giggled in response. I met my attendees as well, Nadira jiji is accompanying me.

I was getting restless with each passing moment. Shahenshah was not here. Everything is ready for the departure and I can not leave without meeting him. 

I was deliberately taking more time, hugging everyone and saying them bye personally to spend more time in wait of shahenshah.

"Let's go gudiya" I heard Yash bhaisa calling me and I walked toward the palanquin very slowly at the speed of tortoise while looking down. I was on verge of crying when I was very near to palanquin but shahenshah was no where to be seen.

My heart broke into two pieces when he did not come. I did not look at anyone and parted the curtains of palanquin to sit. 

But as I parted the curtains, my eyes widen in surprise. 

Shahenshah was sitting inside.

I step back instantly and looked around. As I glanced at them, they all burst out laughing. 

I looked at shahenshah coming out of it and laughing along with them. 

I squinted my eyes at everyone and huffed in irritation. 

Shahenshah came closer and my eyes widen in surprise. I looked at him and glanced around signalling him that everyone is here.

He shook his head and said," Take care of yourself and don't worry about here. We will handle everything here. Enjoy your days there and have fun." 

I nodded my head. How easy for him to understand me. He knows me too well. 

He kissed my forehead and I looked down timidly. 

Not looking at anyone, I just sat in the palanquin while Nadira jiji was sitting in already. 

My heartbeat raced. The palanquin lifters lifted it and I peeped out. 

He was looking at me only.  

I blinked back the tears when he smiled at me. My worries faded away and my heart felt calm.

A rush of emotions emerged in me... I was going to AJMER. 

I smiled widely.

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