🥀 "Dil ke rishton ka ajab khel hai, meri jaan,
Milte hain toh bichhad jaane ke liye,
ye baat kehta hu saaf saaf.
Kismat se mila tha jo begaana sa laga,
Thi ye mohabbat ya ik sazaa?"

—

Tanishq's Perspective

The London evening was cold, colder than I'd anticipated, making me regret not grabbing an extra layer as I stepped out. But the excitement of seeing Mahi, of finally having a moment together after what felt like ages, kept the chill at bay—at least, initially.

I'd chosen our favorite café, a little place that had become 'our spot' over the many months. It was perfect: cozy, intimate, and just removed enough from the city's hustle to feel like an escape. I was looking forward to this evening, to us, after what had felt like endless days of just missing each other amidst our hectic schedules.

I was finally happy after a stressful week. Just some more minutes and then she'll be here.

Mahi was late. Again.

This wasn't new for us, but today, I felt the delay more keenly. We had both been so busy, me with my meetings and  projects and her with her psychiatry practice, that finding time for each other had become a rare treasure. I checked my watch again, sighing.

The minutes turned to hours, my anticipation slowly soured to frustration, then worry, and eventually, a simmering anger. I knew her job was demanding; I'd always admired her for it, her dedication, her compassion. But tonight, it felt like yet another barrier between us, another evening sacrificed just because of her career.

Finally, she is here. Her scarf flying around due to the wind, Always such a mess.

Her hurried steps and flushed face did little to cool my frustration. "I'm so sorry, Tanishq! There was an emergency with one of my patients, and I just couldn't leave," she said, her breath forming clouds in the cold air.

It was always something. Her patients, her sessions... I wanted to be understanding, supportive, but it felt like we were slipping away from each other, and in no time she'd be far away.

"It's always something, isn't it? Traffic, work... I can't remember the last time we started a date on time. Mahi, it's always your patients, your sessions... Don't I matter too?" I couldn't keep the edge out of my voice.

Her face fell.

Of course, she looked hurt, her eyes widening as if my frustration was a surprise. "Of course, you do. But you know how my job is... My patients needed me. It's not like I can just walk out on them. I'm trying my best here, Tanishq."

"Your best?" I scoffed, my patience snapping. "I always end up waiting for you, making plans that you can't keep. I'm tired, Mahi. It feels like I'm not a priority for you."

"I get that, Mahi, I try my best being an understanding partner but what about what we need? What I need?" My voice grew firmer, frustration bubbling over. "We barely see each other as it is. Every plan we make ends up like this."

Mahi reached out, touching my arm gently. "I know, and I hate that it's like this. But my work is really demanding. You know how much it means to me."

I pulled away slightly, the gesture widening the gap between us both physically and metaphorically. "Yeah, I do. And I respect that. But it feels like your job is always going to be your top priority. Where does that leave us?"

Mahi looked down, struggling to find the right words. "I... I don't know. I wish there were more hours in the day, so I could give everything and everyone the time they deserve, especially you."

"It's not about having more hours, Mahi. It's about making the most of the hours we have. And it seems like there's just never enough for us in your schedule," I said. It's true. It looks like I'm nowhere in her priority list. Almost as if she just wants to stay away from him and the patients are just a excuse.

If she wanted to she would make time for me...

She tried to defend herself. But did that even matter? Am I not busy ? Am I not passionate towards my work? But even after that all I need is her... Why can't she feel the same way for me?

"Tanishq mujhe ye sab acha lagta hai kya? You think I don't wish I could clone myself to be everywhere at once? My patients rely on me, Tanishq. I can't just turn them away because we have dinner plans."

"Mai kya karu fir mahi? Just accept that this is how it's going to be? Humesha aapka intezar hi karta rahu? Acha hai, mai aapka intezaar Karu aur aap keh de ki aapke paas waqt nahi hai mere liye!" Tanishq's voice rose, attracting a few glances from passersby.

"Nahi pata mujhe, Tanishq! What do you want from me? To quit my job? To ignore people who need me just so I can prove to you that you're important?" She yelled back at me.

"No, I want a partner who has time for me. It's not about ignoring your job or your patients. It's about finding a balance, making an effort for us,"

"Balance? You think I'm not trying? You have no idea how hard I'm working to juggle everything!" Mahi shot back, both of our patience was wearing thin and I could sense that.

"And what about me, what about us, our plans? Don't I try to understand? Don't I try to be supportive? But it seems like whatever I do, it's never enough for you, I'm so tired of being second to you! I'm so tired of your excuses mahi!" I countered, all my anger came out in the form of hurtful words.

The argument spiraled, I threw myself back on the chair, running my fingers in my hair.

Suddenly she snapped, "Maybe if you had a real passion, you'd understand. But You know what? If you're so unhappy with me, why don't you just find someone else or better, maybe just go to hell, Tanishq because all you do is complain and complain! Mai itna ladti hu kya jab aap kisi ladki ke saath parties attend karte hai?"

Haaye bhagwan jhoothi aurat mere aadhe baal ukhaadne ke baad kehti hai mai kaha ladti hu kya-

"She is my assistant!!"

"I don't fucking care just go to hell, Tanishq!"

That's it...

She told me to go to hell twice.

"Maybe I will! Maybe I'll find someone who actually has time for me, who values me, unlike you!" I retorted, voice laced with a mix of hurt and defiance.

I could see the regret in her eyes immediately, but the words had been said, hanging between us like a chasm too wide to cross. Her face turned pale.

"Tanishq, I didn't mean—" she started, but I couldn't hear it, not over the roaring in my ears, the sound of my heart breaking.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe we're just not right for each other anymore," I said, the words feeling like shards of glass in my mouth. I wanted her to protest, to fight for us, but the silence that followed told me everything I needed to know.

The hurt was evident in Mahi's eyes, but her so called pride wouldn't let her apologize. "Maybe you should. It's clear you don't understand the first thing about commitment and sacrifice."

"Oh God Mahi, kuch bhi mat bolo! Kya nahi kiya Maine is relationship ke liye? Commitment? I didn't put efforts? I wasn't commited to you or what? Im done Mahi I'm done."

"Is this it, then? Are we done?" Her voice was so soft, so vulnerable, it nearly broke me. But what was left to say? The evening that was supposed to bring us together had torn us further apart.

"Aap chahti kaha hai hum saath rahe? Ye hi chahti thi na aap Mahi? Us being apart? No more Tanishq in your life? Karo ab aish!"

"Taana mat do Tanishq! I don't make excuses for anything it's you that doesn't want to understand-"

"Shut up mahi you're again blaming it on me! It would've been easier if we never met-"

"Go to hell," I heard her sob, and a loud smack.

She slapped me.

Begairat aurat... Tanishq calm down don't overreact pehli baar nahi maara hai- KAISE NA OVERREACT PEHLE KI BAAT ALAG THI AB GIRLFRIEND THODI HAI.

"Tumhari jaisi 36 mil jayengi mujhe. You'll see, in the future, you'll cry missing me. And I'll be happy with my othe half who'll really love me. Not fake it."

I walked away, leaving her standing there, leaving us behind. And suddenly the first drops of rain began to fall, along with my tears blurring the memories of the girl I left behind.

Will i really be happy without her?

—

"Raahon mein bichhde, kahin kho gaye hum,
Tere bina zindagi se roothe, gum mein so gaye hum.
Dil ka dard bayaan kya karein, kaise yeh samjhaaye,
Ki tere jaane se, zindagi se hi chhoot gaye hum."