I woke up as my alarm goes off getting down from the bed I went to the bathroom doing all the chores I recited some duas after that went downstairs to prepare breakfast for everyone, Abba Ji is leaving with Taya Abbu for some meeting they will be back after a week I guess so I have to prepare something for the road also, after last week I realized something it's high time that I get back to my obligations, I know no one says it to my face but they must be expecting from me and Hamza won't like it me sitting idle in the room and doing nothing for his Ammi and Abbu

"Assalamaalikum Ayat," Ammi says, coming into the kitchen.
"Walikumassalam Ammi, I'm making some lemongrass tea, omelet, and French toast," I said I working on it.
"I'm happy that you are getting on, Hamza would be very happy looking at you like this," she says patting my head with a content smile on her face.

"Abbu will be leaving after lunch so I have planned to pack some snacks for the road," I said serving the tea for everyone.
"Yes, that would be great, Fatima has taken leave her son is not doing well," Ammi says referring to our cook.

After breakfast was ready we went out to the dining room Abbu and Taya Abbu was settled on the table I served them the food, Abbu also had a smile on his face "so Ayat are you planning to teach the kids again?" Taya Abbu asks as I served him the toast and omelet, I used to teach kids before everything went haywire and Hamza was taken.
"I'm not sure about that only if Abba Ji wants me to I will, " I said looking at Abbu who looks at me and gives a nod.

"Of course you can and you should you have a whole life in front of your eyes, and it shouldn't go in vain by just sitting in the room," he says giving me affirmative smile.
"But I think there is no need for it Bhai Jaan" my mother comes into the dining room of course she has objection to it.
"What do you mean?" Abba Ji asks her.
"What will she do, she should be at home help Bhabhi with the household," she says whilst sipping on her tea.

"Bhabhi can get help from the household, and I don't want my daughter to be sitting home idle," Ammi says walking with some croissants in her hand, Sara loves those.

"And I never expected to you to be saying this Zahira Begum, after all, you have worked your whole life" Ammi added, my mother indeed had to start working after Abba's death because we were thrown out of our house my grandparents didn't want to keep any kind of relationship with us. Since then we were living in the outhouse but after nikah with Hamza I moved in here but Amma still lives there and she still works as a social worker and now running her own NGO. I wonder why she doesn't want me to work.

My mother kept quiet because she knew she is being wrong"fine, do as you like Ayat" she finally mutters under her breath.
"I'll start taking tuitions for younger kids I'm not confident enough to go out and teach in some school," I said excitedly, a smile which was on my face after a long time and I don't know what made this happen but I'm glad it did.

"Assalamaalikum everyone" the deep and husky voice of Fahad pulls me out of my thoughts. He was looking handsome in his white shirt and two-piece black suit, a black watched latched on his wrist, his hair combed back in a very neat way his walk screaming power and control.
"Waalikumsalam Fahad, where you going this morning," Taya Abbu asks with his eyebrows puckered together.
"Oh I have some meetings to attend after that I will be visiting Shahzad," he says, Shahzad is one of his best friends they have been friends since kids. He settled down beside Tayi Ammi taking a sip of his tea.

"I'll go and wake up Sara," I said taking my cue after last week's talk I have maintained my distance from Fahad because he certainly doesn't know what to say.

When I went into Sara's room she was already awake "Aaj itni jaldi uth gayi aap" I said teasing her while cleaning her room, which she deliberately keeps untidy always things are thrown all over the room.
"Uff Ayat you forgot right?" She looks at me in disbelief smacking my forehead.
"What did I forgot Sara?" I look at her in confusion I hope it's not something important.
"It's Kinza's haldi and Mehendi today and we are supposed to be there so I planned to go to the boutique and pick our dresses since she is my best friend and if I don't look good she will kill me because I don't have anything to wear," she says frantically looking for something under the pile of mess.

It was my turn to smack my forehead now, how can I forget that Kinza is our distant cousin and Sara's best friend if we don't go there on time she surely will kill her"okay what are you looking for Sara?" I ask.
"My damn phone, it should be here," she says looking through her clothes which laid there on the bed.
I looked around "here," I said handing over her phone which was resting on the table near the window of her room.
"Thank you and now bye I have to get the dresses for us then we will leave for the salon," she says running outside of her room.

I bobbed my head in disbelief this girl is like toofan never stays in peace, Sara is still completing her studies she wants to be a fashion designer it's her last semester after that she has planned to work for a year or two in some company then open her start-up business, she loves to be her boss. I start to clean the mess of her room keeping the dirty clothes in the laundry bag and the clean ones in her closet, her books back on the shelves I don't know how she lives in this room with all this mess lying around satisfied with my work I went in my room.

I took my sketchbook out I haven't done it in a long time running my fingertips on the last images I drew was of Hamza sitting in the garden, the smell of the pages, taking the pencil out I scattered everything on the floor sitting comfortably I started to think peeking inside the depth of my mind, what are the emotions that I want to draw or whom I want to draw. I had read somewhere that drawing helps you release anxiety it helps you forget about the things you are worried about when you engage yourself in that creative part of yours because I believe everyone has the creative part in them no one uses it until they realize it.

I started to draw and soon my hands started moving in the right direction it took me almost two hours to finish the piece, a person sitting down with dark cloud looming over it wasn't complete just a rough start to something beautiful, I used to draw all the time before I don't know how many books I have filled with my drawings whenever something would bother me I used to draw but when Hamza was gone I couldn't bring myself to draw or do anything it was so hard for me to grasp the emotions because at that time everything felt all over the place.

This past week has been thoughtful, after I spoke to Fahad that night it got me thinking. Plus all these emotions are coming to the surface which I had felt for him earlier I don't know if it's right or wrong though it feels right. A knock on the door startles me getting up I opened the door revealing Fahad "what is it?" I ask trying to mask my emotions.
"Can I come in?" He asks. I nodded and let him in.

"I'm sorry for what I said that night, but you should know that no matter what had happened Ayat it wasn't your fault so you should stop blaming yourself and looking at you today finally drawing makes me so happy," he says pointing towards the pencil some pages lying there.

"And you should stop talking about dying and stuff I know everyone is going there one day but that doesn't mean you should talk like that," I said after a while of silence around us for some reason today it wasn't that uncomfortable.
"What happened Ayat?" He asks.
"What do you mean by that?" I ask in confusion.
"I mean to us, I remember we never hesitated or thought too much Hamza used to be jealous and angry because we never let him play with us or even sit with us, then why is it like this now after all these years what changed between us," he says looking at me intently.

I stood there my head down I don't know if I have the answer to that or not"I don't know Fahad, you left and I married Hamza then he died, you came back as nothing happened and expect everything to go back to normal, it doesn't work like that Fahad you didn't even bother to feel sorry for leaving me alone here" I blurted out, maybe that is what is keeping us away, maybe the feeling of getting abandoned or whatever it is.

He moves closer hesitate to hold my hand but when he did it felt like sparks running through my veins goosebumps on my whole body, tingling feeling on my back "I'm sorry for leaving you like that, I know I should have told you to wait for me or I should have taken you with me there are lot of things I should have done but I didn't and I'm sorry for it but please don't act like you don't care or you don't feel what I feel Ayat, we have known each other since we were kids and we both know about each other's feelings only the difference is that we never said it out loud, but we both know".

"You always had a special place in my heart Ayat, it didn't matter that I was married to Kubra and you were married to my brother because you know why I have always loved you, you are the only person I have felt this way about I won't deny the fact that the time I spent with Kubra weren't happy ones but with you, I didn't have to find for situations to be happy smile would automatically come on my face" he added, keeping his fingertips under my chin, I lookup hesitantly my traitor tears rolls down.

"Look at me Ayat" he demands and opening my eyes, our gaze met my teary-eyed with his soft black eyes, with concern and love in them.

"Please don't cry Ayat, I hate it when you cry" he whispers pressing his lips on my forehead, tingles all over my body and breath hitched, becoming heavy this is wrong yet feels right.
I sniffle controlling my sobs "I think you should leave" I said biting on my lower lip, wiping tears.
He raises his eyebrow at me "okay, tell me one thing Ayat" he says.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't feel the same way, I swear I will leave," he says grabbing my arms his grip tighten.
I look into his eyes my throat getting thick, "I don't, now leave my room" I blurted out.
He looks at me one last time and storms off from there.

I sat down on the floor letting my tears stream down my face tearing up all the pages, there was a vase on the table smashing that across the wall there was a rage bubbling inside me for some reason don't think too much Ayat, what you said was the truth my mind snaps at me but my heart was telling me otherwise it was like I'm assuring myself, "Ayat" Sara walks in the room without knocking.
Her eyes widened at the sight of my room" uh...uh Sara, what are you doing here?" I ask.

"What is all this?" She questions pointing at the teared up pages and the pieces of glass.
"Nothing, do you need anything?" I try to avoid her gaze.
"I brought the dresses I wanted you to try first let's go and have lunch," she says.
"You go on I'll join you in a minute after clearing everything up," I said smiling nervously, quickly clearing everything I went downstairs, I noticed Fahad wasn't present and Abbu and Taya Abbu were also not there.

"It's just us women today," Tayi Ammi says serving me kebab.
"Abbu and Taya Abbu left already?" I ask, she nods at me.
"Yes and Fahad went to meet up with Shahzad," she says smiling, the lunch was in silence later me and Sara went to get ready.

I was wearing yellow silk embroidered Patiala suit round neck, full sleeves clad with zari and stonework with white Patiala salwar, yellow net dupatta with laces on the corner leaving my hair open I covered my head with a dupatta I wore my yellow juttis giving one last look in the mirror I went towards Sara's room "are you done, Sara?" I ask knocking.

"Not yet, you wait in your room Ayat I'll come and get you as soon as I'm done" she yells back, yeh ladki bhi na I went back to my room.

• • •

Sara

I went down to get some water when I saw Fahad Bhai was sitting in the garden with a cigarette in his hand and the other hand cup of tea I went out"why are you looking so grumpy?" I asked sitting beside him, I was wearing a red Anarkali suit with zari and resham work my hair in a low bun with hair accessories and big jhumkas, I was pretty much satisfied with my look. When earlier I noticed the condition of Ayat's room I understood something had happened and now looking at Fahad Bhai Jaan confirms my suspicions.

"Where are you going by the way?" He asks.
"This is not the answer to my question, now tell me why are you grumpy," I retort, giving him my you can never win with me in an argument look.

"Kuch nahi yaar jao pareshan na Karo" he replies taking a sip of tea.
"Ayat ne Kuch kaha kya?" I shoot another question.
"Kuch Kaha nahi Vahi to masla hai, bol deti to shayad Itna pareshan nahi Hota" he muttered under his breath.
"Are Bhai bata bhi dein, esa ky boldia hmari Ayat madam ne?" I ask nudging his arm, it's useless to even think you can get out of my interrogation. They think everyone is blind and cannot see what is happening so idiot they both are, I'm very well aware that they love each other but don't want to accept the fact.

Love makes people go crazy.

"Uske Kuch bolne se pareshan nahi hu, Kuch na bolne se pareshan, " he said giving me his full attention.
"Hain, Yeh kya batt hoti hai, esi baatein na mere pare hai Acha chale mai jaati hu aap apna muh Sada ke baithe rahe," I said getting up from the chair and went inside to look for Amma and Tayi Amma. This is the news worth telling plus I think they can do something about it.

I know Ayat lied when she said that it was nothing you don't smash things and tear up stuff without any reason, Allah I have to do everything around here.

"Are kaha bhagi Chali jaa rahi ho Sara?"Amma asks grabbing my hand.
"Aap dono k pass hi aa rahi thi," I said settling across them on the couch.

"Ek Taraf aapke pyare shezade aapna muh bana ke baithe hai or Ek taraf aapki Ayat, uff Allah," I said holding my head, both the ladies look at me me me as if I gave grown two heads and don't know what I am saying.
"Kya bole jaa rahi ho?"Tayi Amma asks.
"Lo Bhai aapko samajh nahi aa rha yaha kya chal rha hai," I said smacking my forehead, either my family has lost it or they are that blind-eyed towards things.
"What are you trying to imply here Sara?" Amma asks with her no-nonsense face which can be scary sometimes I tell ya.

"Uff Amma, Tayi Amma those idiots are in love since they were kids but don't want to say it out loud" as soon as those words left my mouth both the ladies' mouth gaped open in astonishment.
"And how can you be so sure about it?" Amma asks.
"My lovely innocent ladies you need to look at their faces and try to read them," I said pinching their cheeks playfully.

"And just because they married other persons but their heart was taken by each other, how can you not see," I said shooking my head in disbelief.

"Now, my work here is done you find a solution I'll see you later," I said and with that, I went up to Ayat's room to tell we are ready to leave first she will kill me then Kinza.

*****

Hello and Assalamaalikum Everyone!

How was the chapter?

Who do you like the most Fahad or Ayat?

And what do you think about Sara?

Don't forget to share your thoughts on the chapter. I would want to continue this book for which I will in need of positive thoughts and votes of course, and I have just published a book that will contain the aesthetics of different types I'm taking request so if any of in need let me know or if you know any writer who wants aesthetics all you have to do is DM me.

And please go and check out my book, so you'll get the idea of what exactly I will be doing 😊😊

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