Oikawa and Iwaizumi headed to practice together, after school. The whole Aoba Johsai team was there, the sounds of their shoes squeaking as they ran across the court. Come to think of it, that squeaking was pretty annoying.

"Oi, Shittykawa, we're late today." Iwaizumi grumbled

"Haha, sorry Iwa-chan, that's my fault, i wanted to show you that article on the meteor shower that's happening tonight." Giggled Oikawa, winking at Iwaizumi

At that moment, Iwaizumi felt as if something had set off inside him, a switch had been flicked.

Iwaizumi stood motionless and silent for a few moments before Makki and Mattsun joined the two boys.

"You guys were late today, What were you doing?" Smirked Makki, as if to suggest something homo had happened

"Stop thinking dirty, Makki, I was just showing Iwa-chan this really cool arti-"

"Oikawa." Iwaizumi said with passion, grabbing the taller boy by his broad shoulders

"Y-yes, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa said laughing

Iwaizumi brought his lips to Oikawa's pointy ear, and whispered...

"Is your shaft stone?"

Oikawa froze, he hadn't registered what Iwaizumi said. His hot breath on his ear, and his hands, moving lower and lower down his arms made him feel tingly, and excited.

"What?" Oikawa squeaked out

"Is. Your. Shaft. Stone?" Asked Iwaizumi, again, a bit louder this time.

Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi back slightly, and held onto his arm. Damn, those muscles could break anything.

Even him...

"My shaft has always been rock hard for you, Oikawa." Iwaizumi replied seductively.

At this point, Makki and Mattsun had both become weirded out, and backed out of the situation.

"My shaft isn't stone, Iwaizumi ."

"It's marble, and real thicc." Said Oikawa , annunciating the 'thicc'

"Do you think the team would care if we were later than we already are?" Asked Oikawa, in need of Iwaizumi's shaft

"Unsheathe your shaft for me, Oikawa~" cooed Iwaizumi

Suddenly everyone heard a truck pull up outside

The whole team headed outside of the gym to see what the hell was happening.

Outside, stood a ten-foot tall shaft, white and grey marble, minutely detailed, seemingly hand-carved

"What in the fuck is this." Said Iwaizumi and looked over to Oikawa.

"My shaft." He smirked.

Iwaizumi walked over to it as Oikawa followed

"It's so hard, Oikawa." Iwaizumi said has he stroked it with his hand.

"It's always been this hard, only for you, Hajime." Said Oikawa.

<The end >

This was a stupid fucking joke of a story😂😂
My life is a joke
Why the fuck did I write this omgggggg
It's really late someone send help call the authorities
I am a sin
Im gonna go buy some Clorox

Thank you, goodnight.