Review For: @Nic363

[Name] Cookie Spice
[Age] 16
[Pony Type] Unicorn
[Colors] Dark and light brown mane and tail, light brown coat, deep blue grey eyes
[Cutie Mark/Talent] A cookie with a bite taken out of it
[Family] Moth Eaten - Big Sister
Ocean Breeze (Mothi) - Big Sister
Hope Diamond - Mother
[Weaknesses] Her short temper and stubbornness - Her inability to keep a secret - The fact that she is easily confused
[Quirks] She sings whenever she concentrates on something - She tends to put cinnamon or other spices in everything she makes
[Backstory] Cookie used to be a Changeling, but when she was young she managed to get out of the Hive and got lost in the Everfree Forest. There she was found by a traveling unicorn, Hope Diamond, who took her in and raised her as her own. Hope discovered a spell that could turn Cookie into her 'true self', and she cast it on her, turning her into a permanent unicorn. Cookie became friends with two earth ponies called Marshmallow Mint and Lollipop Swirl. (She is currently dating Marshmallow Mint). She and her friends got their cutie marks when they were making sweets for a party. Marshmallow made some cakes with with marshmallow toppings and mint icing, Lollipop made some swirly lollipops, and Cookie made some cinnamon and apple cookies. She currently helps out at Sugarcube Corner with her friends, and they hope to own their own cake shop in the future. She used to date a pegasus called Storm Cloud, but that ended badly as he cheated on her. She and Storm are currently expecting a foal. She has also recently found her older sister, Ocean Breeze.

[Feedback]
First off, I do like her quirks and weaknesses, but her backstory is a bit questionable. First off, being born a Changeling, who not only didn't want to be a part of the Hive, but was transformed into a normal pony. I just see a bit too much of that. Next off is the very common talent of sweets making, and her employment at Sugarcube Corner; that is just seen way to much in the world of pony OCs, and it's just not unique any more. Now, on a more mature note.. WHY IN THE WORLD IS SHE EXPECTING A FOAL AT SIXTEEN YEARS OLD?? This is My Little Pony, for heaven's sake!! What were she and Storm doing?? Or did you just not realize the age you gave her at the time?? I'm sorry, but I just find this overly concerning..

[Mary-Sue Percentage]
27% - She's been given the common talent of making sweets, and she was a Changeling who left the Hive. Maybe just tweak these things a bit, and she'll be good to go.
@Nic363
Hope this helps!

12/25/2016 - OC 4/5 Month of December