Review For: @I_Am_A_Lost_Girl_

[Name] Shattered Heart [Previously Broken Night]
[Age] 14
[Pony Type] Half Changeling (Looks like a Pegasus)
[Colors] All black body with a red streak in her mane and tail - She has a half Changeling form - One of her wings, two of her hooves, and her mane and tail are Changeling
[Cutie Mark/Talent] She never got her's
[Family] Mom: Paint Splatter (Dead)
Dad: Fang (Changeling - Left her)
[Weaknesses] She hates herself and wouldn't let anyone get close to her in fear that she might hurt them
[Quirks] She tends to lash out at ponies if they anger her
[Backstory] Her mom was a normal Pegasus who was very kindhearted, and one day she found an "injured" Changeling named Fang. She took him home and cared for him, and eventually fell in love, and he "fell in love", too. A year after being together, they had Shattered Heart. A month later, Fang revealed that he had only been using Paint Splatter to be fed. She tried to stand up for herself, but Fang killed her. Shattered Heart was saved and taken to an orphanage. At age four, she realized no one wanted her, so she ran away. Now, at age fourteen, she's still running.

[Feedback]
(Please Do Not Take Offense From This, I Am Only Doing As You Asked)
I am really sorry to have to tell you this, but I think your OC is quite Mary-Sue. When it comes to the 'Overly Tragic Backstory' variety of cliche characters, Shattered Heart has got just about every attribute that would put her under that category. Now I'm certainly not saying you can't turn that around for her. To start, the name 'Shattered Heart' is honestly quite common and cliche among these types of ponies. Possibly, you could change it up a bit and make it more unique. Secondly, the Changeling/Pony hybrid makes me a bit skeptical on its own - BUT, if you could make Shattered stand out as being more of an original character, I'm sure the hybrid would work a bit more for her. Now with the color scheme - Honey, you never, NEVER do black or grey with red!! That is one of the most horrible schemes you could give a character, as it is overly used, overly dark for My Little Pony, and way too overly clashing!! To add on to my concerns with her appearance, you not only made her species a big old mix of things, but you made her physical body a big old mix of things! That is something you NEVER do with a character, because it makes them absolutely atrocious to look at. I'd say that if you planned to polish this up, please just keep in mind that this is a character for My Little Pony, and therefore should not be dark and dangerous! Also, if you seriously want to keep her as a hybrid between these two species, just maybe give her the Changeling horn and/or wings - Do not make her a literal half-and-half cup of pony tea. Now onto the tragic attributes of her character, the overly cliche persona and backstory. To start simple, she has no friends and hates herself, two very overly used personality traits. Now, for the backstory, let's start by pointing out the cliche attributes.. First, her father used her mother and killed her - The 'Dead Parent' cliche. Second, her father abandoned her - The 'Unwanted Child' or 'Abandoned By Parent' cliche. Third, the 'Unwanted Orphan' cliche, and finally the 'Runaway' cliche. To be 100% honest with you, I'd say everyone is just about tired of these kinds of characters. They're just too cliche, and it's gotten old. All I can say is, just work on making her more original. You need to add your own touches to it! You might see some OCs that you like that are similar to this, but trust me, not many others will like that. You've just got to find a way to put your own spin on things!

[Mary-Sue Percentage]
95% - I really do not mean to be rude or offensive, but she's just too overly cliche, and her story is just too overly tragic.
@I_Am_A_Lost_Girl_
Hope this helps!

11/17/2016 - OC 4/5 Month of November