"Pa don't, fifty thousand acres, it isn't worth it." Adam's words rang in Ben Cartwright's mind. Surely his son didn't really think that the Ponderosa was more important to him than his own son.

"Come on son, let's get you home," was all Ben could bring himself to say as he began untying the ropes that bound Adam's hands. Ben winced as he saw the damage done by the ropes. The ropes had been tied much tighter than necessary and it had dug deep into his skin. Adam didn't seem to notice. He looked at the bodies before him and hung his head. Death was the last thing he had wanted. The last thing any of them needed. He had hoped that they could avoid bloodshed. That's what he was trying to tell his father. But he had failed. Here lying before him was at least one dead man, maybe two. Not to mention the man he had had to kill himself. And what about those men killed at the time of his capture? He leaned over Billy, placing a wadded bandanna over the wound in his arm and that's where he stayed until Joe rode up with Sheriff Hawkins.

Adam wasn't completely aware of what was going on. It was like the world was in slow motion and he didn't know why. Suddenly he felt hands gently pull him away and lead him to a horse, which he slowly mounted. His father then mounted his own horse beside him. As Ben urged the horse forward Adam's horse followed. Adam looked back once more, and one thought came into his mind. Was it really worth it?

~ BZ ~

Ben could tell something was wrong with Adam. The way he had to be led was almost as concerning as the fact that Adam had allowed himself to be led. Adam's response still troubled him. What did he mean by "It isn't worth it"? Of course, he was worth it. Any of his sons were worth the entire Ponderosa. How could Adam think any differently? Had he made it seem to his son that his land was more important than his family? Suddenly he remembered what he had told Adam only a few hours before he was captured.

"What's wrong with you boy? You wanna just sit here and twiddle your thumbs while Drummond's sheep eat our land bare?" All Adam had done was suggest that his father wait and talk to the sheriff. His son simply didn't want him to do something he would regret, but he wouldn't have it, he had to do things his way and only his way. "Now you listen to something from me boy, I cleared that land that Drummond is driving his sheep through. I worked 'till my hands cracked opened and sweat blinded my eyes. I planted that grass, and with the Lord's help it grew..."

It sounded like his land was all that mattered, and because of his selfishness, his focus on his "empire" he forgot who had just as much a stake in this as he did. The full impact of that conversation hit him.  I cleared, I worked, I planted. It should have been we. Adam has done just as much for this land as I have. He worked just as hard, and at a much younger age. How could I have been so blind? Adam worked just as hard as I did, but I refused to give him any credit. I took it all for myself. If he had been on the receiving end of those remarks I would have thought the land mattered more than his own life.... Why would Adam think any differently?

"Adam?" Ben decided that an apology was necessary as soon as possible. Adam didn't respond. "Adam." he tried again more forceful.

"Yeah pa?" When Adam finally responded he sounded more tired than even Adam himself expected. A new fear struck Ben. Had he even asked his son if he was okay? He had assumed but, in reality, he had no idea if they had hurt him.

"Are you okay son? They didn't hurt you did they?"

Ben was now staring fearfully at Adam. Looking him over, trying to reassure himself that all was well.

Good going, Cartwright, Adam scolded himself. All he needed was his father to be concerned with his health. "I'm fine Pa, just tired." Adam really didn't want to talk. There was too much on his mind. Well, mainly one thing. Death. Death seemed to follow him wherever he went. The very fact that he was born caused a death. He had seen too much death in his 30 years. Stepmothers, friends, fianceés. Death - the only thing constant in his life. Yet no matter how much trouble he got into, he always seemed able to escape it. He was glad of course. He didn't want to die. But he was tired of death, tired of the emotional strain of the whole idea. Why was his father so persistent in doing things by himself? Why couldn't he just allow the law to deal with things? At least then they wouldn't be responsible for the deaths. Let the law deal with it.

His father was looking at him again. He knew he was concerned, but it was too late for that. Too late for him to care. His father had proven earlier that his opinions weren't needed or wanted, proven that all the work he had done on the ranch through the years meant nothing. The fact that his father was willing to give up his land for him surprised him, but it didn't change what had been said before. If he was so important, why didn't he listen or value his opinions? Adam didn't think he was worth as much as his father's land. He didn't know why his father did, hadn't Adam killed his mother? Pa's wife? How could he ever willingly take more from his father? Though he never spoke openly about his feelings, he loved his father. For his entire life he had tried to make up for all the pain he had caused his father, but today had proven that all the work that he had been put into the land, everything he had done was not needed or appreciated. Maybe I should just leave. There really isn't anything here for me. That thought brought a strange sense of peace. Why shouldn't he leave? He had a college education. He had done well before when he was back in New England. He had always wanted to return. The truth was that he never wanted to leave. This just might be just his opportunity. He shuddered to think of his father's response. He had a nagging suspicion that it wouldn't go over well. He didn't understand why though. He wasn't needed. Hearing his name called brought Adam back to reality by his father's voice.

"Adam. Adam, look at me son." Ben's voice was thick with worry. Adam looked strange. Something was wrong. Physically he looked fine, but something seemed to snap. Something snapped back when Billy shot Drummond. Adam slowly turned his head to look at his father. There was a troubling look in his eyes.

"Yeah pa?" Adam was confused. Why was he so tired?

"What all happened when you were with them?" Ben felt like he needed to get Adam's mind on something other than whatever it was he was thinking about.

"Nothing really. We ate then they put me in the wagon. Then you showed up. That's about it." Adam really just wanted to go home and go to bed. "Billy thought he owed his life to Jeb. It was crazy. He would do anything for him, yet in the end, it was Billy who pulled the trigger. Strange isn't it? How loyalties can switch so quickly?" Ben stared at his son. What was bothering him?

"Son is something wrong?" Ben finally asked the question.

"No, no nothing's wrong. I'm just tired." They were riding into the yard of the house. Adam dismounted and began leading Sport to the barn. His head hurt and all he wanted was sleep. He had to concentrate on every step to keep from falling. Ben could see how tired his son was.

"Here son, let me take Sport. You go lie down." Adam nodded and headed inside, relinquishing the horse's reins to his father. He headed up to his room and immediately laid down, boots and all, and quickly fell asleep.

~ BZ ~

Ben had just finished putting up the horses when he heard a wagon entering the yard. As he exited the barn, he saw Hoss driving the wagon that had been Adam's prison. When he pulled to a stop, Hoss quickly went to the back of the wagon and helped the young man that was shot out of the back. Ben seemed to recall his name was Billy. Billy was leaning heavily on Hoss as they walked into the house. Ben walked behind them and directed Hoss to the guest room. Hoss helped Billy lie down then turned to his father. "Joe went to get the Doc." he stated."The bullet went clean through. Adam stopped most of the bleeding 'fore he left. I think he'll be alright." Hoss smiled.

"Good." and Ben meant it. "Well Billy," he said walking over to the bed. "My sons and I are thankful for your help. You saved my son's life and for that, I am eternally grateful." Billy smiled gratefully, but Ben couldn't miss the emptiness in his eyes.

Joe and Doctor Martin arrived just as the sun began to set. He quickly entered the guest room, already removing the necessary items from his bag. He ushered all the Cartwrights except Hoss out of the room, needing his help since Hop Sing was out of town visiting his cousins in California.

The doctor emerged less than an hour later. "Well, he seems to be okay. The bleeding was efficiently stopped, probably saved his life. I strapped his arm down. Just keep him down and quiet for a little while. I'll be back in a few days to check on him and put his arm in a sling." The doctor seemed content in Billy's condition, so Ben decided to ask him to check on Adam. The doctor agreed and they headed upstairs.

Paul looked Adam over, he was concerned with the deepness of the rope burns on his wrists. "He looks okay, I'm going to wrap his wrists though. I need to wake him up to know anymore." Paul was concerned that Adam didn't seem to respond. He continued calling his name and began to lightly shake him.

"Has he suffered any kind of head injury?" he asked as he continued shaking him.

"I don't know, he didn't say anything. He complained about being tired, that's all he would say."

The concern in the doctor's voice was terrified [Using this word is a bit unusual. It's equivalent to terrifying which is more common.] for an already worried father.

"We need to wake him up. He might have a concussion," the Doctor said still carefully shaking him. Ben hurriedly started calling his son's name.