The ugly sweater's scratchy material was really starting to grate on Kuroo's nerves. He pulled at random loose strings haphazardly and fidgeted beneath its cover. Akaashi picked at the skin around his nails, thoughtful of the carpet in the living room. Kuroo had been having a conversation with himself as he decorated the tree in Yamaguchi and Akaashi's living room for about an hour, only earning a few hums in response from Akaashi. He paced the living room now, unsure of exactly how to deal with Akaashi. He didn't want to think of spending time with Akaashi as dealing with him, but the turn around in his countenance and disposition towards Kuroo he didn't know how to feel but upset and a bit angry. He felt shut out and useless, and while he understood Akaashi was still messed up, it only fed into his quietly growing rage even though it wasn't necessarily directed at Akaashi. Mostly, it was directed at the man behind the fucking tiger mask and the authorities who couldn't find the Tiger, and himself most of all.

He hated himself for letting this happen to Akaashi.

Dragging a new box into the living room, Kuroo snorted mirthlessly at his being on edge. Kuroo had been dancing around the fact that they had only just gotten home, and the way Akaashi was acting made him even more anxious. He chose his words carefully, his jokes strained and almost awkward as he tried to string together some sort of interaction that wasn't one sided and wouldn't set off the ticking bomb that now was Keiji.

Akaashi started to feel annoyed after about thirty minutes of Kuroo babbling about politics. The sound of a cardboard box dragging across the floor grated at his nerves like nothing else. He raised his eyes from his fingers to Kuroo who continued to prattle.

"Tetsu?"

Kuroo's heart squeezed at the familiar sound of his name from Akaashi's lips.

"Hm?" He glanced up for a moment, halting his work.

"Why are you acting like you're scared to accidentally break me?"

Kuroo stared at him for a few count, before his face twitched a bit. "Excuse me?"

Akaashi continued on, his voice slowly hardening so that he could convince Kuroo he really was okay now. "I know you're worried about me, but I'm not some fucking ward patient and you don't have to baby me. It's fucking annoying! I just want everything to go back to normal! To the way it was before all this bullshit!"

Kuroo's mouth agape, he pressed his lips together, but his jaw fell back open. He felt like a mackerel gasping for air. Finally, after drawing together his surprise, his countenance reverted to an easy and sympathetic smile. "Akaashi, I'm not trying to baby you. I don't want you to feel upset with me, I want you to rely on me. I want you to speak to me." He stepped forward, inching closer to Akaashi. "I may have to argue with you about being a nut, because you've always been a little wacky. I mean, shit, you're dating me!"

Akaashi smiled a bit, his throat clenching as he fought off tears. He loved Kuroo so much words couldn't begin to describe it. Kuroo, the thought of being able to be near him again, kept him sane. "I promise I'm okay."

Kuroo smiled wide, and Akaashi's chest warmed. Tetsu reached out then, attempting to cup Akaashi's cheek. Unfortunately, Akaashi flinched back a bit, fear flashing in the back of his head. Fear of what, was the question. He wasn't scared of Kuroo, right?

Kuroo's face fell, but his smile held its place, becoming dreary as he leaned forward and kissed Akaashi's forehead and withdrew his hand. "It's okay."

They didn't speak for a long time, and Kuroo decided to go to the corner market. Akaashi panicked a little when Kuroo went for the door without him or without explaining were he was going. Akaashi had jumped to his feet, forgetting to even grab a coat and ran out after him.

Kuroo seemed perplexed by Akaashi's clinginess, his sudden fear of being alone. Keiji had always been one to stay home alone, and he hated corner stores. Tetsuro wouldn't complain, even if he ended up giving Akaashi his coat for the short walk.

When they got back to Akaashi's home, Kuroo grabbed his overnight bag and told Akaashi to pack his own as well so they could go to his apartment. He didn't trust the lack of a lock on Akaashi's bedroom window.

When they got into the car for the drive, they continued on in silence for a long time. The tense atmosphere in the car slid out the windows, though, when Akaashi slipped his hand over Kuroo's on the gear. Akaashi's stick-shift jeep still ran smoothly for such an old car.

Akaahi found that he was okay with contact as long as he initiated it, and he guessed it had to do with his trauma and his now amplified distaste of being out of control.

The warm contact made him think again. Not in a terrified, paranoid way, but in the way a normal person should, or at least as back-to-normal as he could ever be. He didn't want to forget, but he didn't want the fear to lord over his life and ruin it.

Terushima Yuuji was dead after all.

A small shudder ran across Keiji's skin, imagining someone stumbling across his bloated body, lying dead in his basement. It only then occurred to him that Kuroo thought the killer was some anonymous psycho, still on the loose. Akaashi weighed his options in his head, biting the inside of his cheek and picking at his nails. How does one bring up such a topic? How does one discuss a brief psychotic break and the murder of a captor in a sane and calm way? He almost chuckled a bit, realizing how ridiculous he was being. Kuroo would understand. Hell, Kuroo probably would fist bump him and then pray for his mother to find him.

     "Tetsu, I lied about not knowing who it was." He finally said bluntly.

     Kuroo choked promptly on the rice cake he had shoved in his mouth two seconds earlier. He wheezed and swerved a bit, hammering his fist into his chest, before turning to Akaashi with an indescribable expression. His eyes were red and watery with disbelief and hysterics. "What—Wait, what the fuck?! What the fuck!!"

     "He's dead."

     Kuroo choked promptly on the coke he began sipping two seconds earlier to calm himself.

     "I killed him."

     Finally, Kuroo decided to pull over before suffocating or killing the both of them. "What?"

     "I—I hit him in the head with a baseball bat and left him to bleed to death. Not really proud of it. I didn't tell her because I killed him and he's dead. Maybe they won't find him for a while. I know I shouldn't necessarily feel like scum for killing him but I do." Keiji sniffled, and drew his eyes from the light snowfall. "I feel awful. Am I going to hell?"

     Kuroo's almost comically confused face shifted instantly when Akaashi began to cry, and he opened the door, walked around to the passenger side, pulled Akaashi out as he sobbed, and settled into the backseat to hold him.

     "H-He's dead and is still ruining me..." Akaashi sobbed, turning his face into Kuroo's comforting scent. "Why—It's not f-fair..."

     "It's not fair, of course it's not fair. Terrible things happen to good people, to innocent people, but karma is a bitch. You're alive, and stronger than ever, and he's dead meat." Kuroo said softly, still managing an almost harsh tone toward Terushima.