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*

**BONUS CHAPTER**

Farhaan

I watched in amusement as Mikael Bhai paced around almost anxiously. "Did you at least talk to her?" 

While initially the idea of him proposing to Sophie was bewildering, to say the least, I was now hoping that she accepted him. Mikael Bhai was a very good person, as was Sophie, and I knew that they'd make each other happy. However, a part of me knew that nobody could blame Sophie even if she declined. 

"No." He looked at me. "What am I meant to say? Hey, things didn't go well with my cousin, but I present myself?" He ran both hands through his hair in frustration. "I need to plan this well, think things through..." He sat down on the armchair in the living room of my flat. "What does she like?" 

I tilted my head back on the sofa. "She likes doing Wordle puzzles daily on the New York Times website. She likes talking a walk in the park early in the morning. She loves discussing current affairs. She has wanderlust, and want to visit as many countries as possible in her lifetime." 

"You know her so well." Mikael Bhai looked thoughtful. "And she's such a wonderful person. I thought you loved her, so what happened?" 

I stared up at the ceiling, as memories of the past came flooding back.

*

FLASHBACK

She was down-to-earth, yet she liked her designer perfumes and heels from European brands. She was simple and sweet, yet she loved indulging in elegance and glamour.

She was Sophie Khan, beautiful in all ways. She was kind, compassionate and caring, which is what had initially attracted me towards her.

It was a morning in Hyde Park, when we had taken a walk before our respective lectures. Dressed in a grey turtle-neck sweater, a long tan winter coat, black jeans and brown knee-high boots, Sophie's cheeks were pink from the stinging winter air. Her auburn highlighted hair was tossed about in the wind, blowing into her face and causing her irritation.

"I want to finish my education and build up my career first." She told me. "But my parents are already concerned about my shaadi."

"I think it's great that you want to establish your career first." I brushed a stray lock of my own hair away from my forehead, my fingers feeling cold.

"Of course." Her green eyes focused on me. "I want to be independent. Life brings a lot of challenges, a lot of situation where you are tested in various ways. In such situations, it helps to be standing on your own two feet, not being a dependant." 

"Absolutely. You'd get along with Aizah. She shares the same thinking."

"Your twin, right?" She adjusted her coat tighter around herself and the scent of her perfume emanated from it, causing me to almost inhale deeply. It was a gorgeous scent, nothing sharp, just a sweet and floral one. 

I nodded.

"From all that you've told me about her, I can't wait to meet her." She smiled at me.

We were young, both attracted to each other and both getting along so well that the idea just planted itself in our minds that we were meant to be together. Sophie was the first girl that I had consciously felt myself being drawn towards. It was a first serious infatuation, a story of a youthful love between two university students.

This was the beginning, and at this point, we hadn't thought about marriage seriously. 

*

The characters are not perfect Muslims, and I don't encourage such interactions between non-mehrams.

We were in the final year of university, and the students had planned a trip to the midlands after the exams/coursework season was over. Many students, studying for various courses were welcome.

Of course, I went. I was always the kind who loved travelling, and I just needed an excuse to do so, a great and much-needed relief after a stressful year.

And of course Sophie came along, because she adored travelling just as much.

We stayed in this huge manor hotel by a lake in the countryside. It was a peaceful, stunning atmosphere. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" 

I turned my head and saw Sophie coming through the open door of the manor hotel and onto the patio where I stood watching the stars reflected in the lake water. "It really is something almost out of this world."

She picked up an artificial flower from the vase on the garden table nearby. "Put this on my hair." She giggled.

Shaking my head with a smile, I took the flower from her and slid the stem over the top of her ear as she grinned up at me. Her eyes glimmered in the dim patio lights, reflecting her pure happiness. My grin widened.

"Do I look that silly?" She questioned.

I shook my head again. "No, you just remind me of someone- the daughter of a family friend. She also likes adorning flowers in her hair." 

"Someone special?" She raised an eyebrow questioningly.

I chuckled. "It's nothing like that. Hoor's too young." 

She chewed on her lower lip, staring expectedly at me. "And what about me? Am I someone special?" 

"You are incredibly special, Sophie." I whispered. "You have this brightness within you that seems to make everything around you glow. Your cheerful, full-of-life personality is contagious, and you make everyone around you feel automatically happy."

"Careful, Farhaan. You're sounding like you're in love." She tilted her head back, took the flower off and rubbed it gently over my cheek.

I didn't know how true that was, but I did know that I cared deeply for her. "Are you in love?" I questioned.

She just gave me a pointed look, a small smile on her face.

*

The next morning, when I came downstairs for breakfast, I glanced around for Sophie.

"She's outside." One of my friends informed me, grinning at me. "By the lake." 

I headed outside and looked around. I saw the others, but not her. I jogged around, towards the lake. She loved the lake, so she would most likely be close to it. And then one of her friends pointed in the direction to my left as she realised that I was looking for Sophie. I turned my head and I froze. 

A natural archway of plants covered a pathway that led directly to the lakeside. Through it I saw her, her fingers gently tracing some beautiful flowers as her gaze remained focused on the flora. Her hair was pulled back, with a few stray locks, curled, curtaining her face. She wore a tan raincoat because the clouds overhead were threatening rain. I walked over to her, my boots crunching on the gravel at the edge of the hotel grounds. "Sophie!"

Her green eyes looked up and immediately found me, locking with my own blue-green eyed gaze. A smile appeared on her lips, brightening up her eyes. "This place is so beautiful! I can move here!"

I walked over to stand beside her and saw that from this angle we could see a stunning view of the lake water. "Do you want to get closer to the lake?" 

"Sure." She replied, and the two of us started to walk towards it. 

As we walked, I felt her hook her pinkie finger through mine. At first it felt good, it felt special. We were a couple, and I loved the feeling so much. But then my values and my religious beliefs interrupted my thoughts and reminded me that this shouldn't be happening. I immediately moved my hand away, putting both my hands in the pockets of my jeans instead. I discreetly glanced at her. She wasn't offended. In fact, she had spotted a duck and her duckling wandering close to the lake, and Sophie was staring at them with a smile on her face.

"The strength of relationships is not just limited to humans; especially the relationship between a parent and child." She spoke softly.

I nodded. "There's no doubt about that."

"Unconditional love exists in all species." She turned to look at me. "It's such a beautiful emotion, isn't it?"

"Hmm." I watched the duckling waddle away after its mother. At that time, I had missed the implication behind her words. In a way, she was trying to confess her feelings, but she was too shy to speak directly about it. 

If only I'd realised than the level of intensity of our feelings differed vastly. Sophie's feelings were much stronger, much deeper and completely obvious to her.

*

A FEW YEARS AFTER GRADUATION

We had parted ways for Masters. Sophie had studied at LSE and I had studied at UCL, after which Sophie had gone to Edinburgh for a while to start her career. 

Even after these years, her feelings for me hadn't changed. As for me, while I couldn't say that I was heads-over-heels, unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her, I knew that I really liked Sophie, and that if we were to get married, we'd form the perfect relationship.

Our compatibility was one reason we decided on getting married. On the face of it, there was no reason for us to not marry. To someone witnessing from a distance, we made the perfect couple. We spoke to our parents, and even they were more than happy with this alliance. It was all too good to be true.

"Farhaan is getting married." Papa announced to his sisters over a video conference call. 

I could hear the overexcited chatter of my aunts, and I smiled weakly from my position beside my father.

"Who is the bechari?" Dania Phupho teased.

"You guys know her, you met her." Mama is the one who replied. "Sophie Khan." 

"Oh! That beautiful, green-eyed girl?" Sumi Phupho asked. "Ma Sha Allah! You two look stunning together."

My mother spoke to them excitedly, already making wedding plans. I glanced up and saw Aizah staring at me with a thoughtful look on her face. "What?" I mouthed in her direction. She just shook her head, but she still had a confused look on her face.

*

"I don't get it." Aizah said to me later, when it was just her and me.

"What?" I was flicking through the channels on the TV, bored.

"You and Sophie have known each other for years, and now you both are about to get married." She replied. "But a deflated balloon has more excitement than you seem to have regarding this."

I gave her a quick look. "You're being ridiculous."

"Am I?"

"What are you trying to say, Aizah?" 

"Is this really what you want?" She asked.

"Well, obviously. I wouldn't just throw myself into marriage if I wasn't sure, would I?" 

She didn't reply for a few seconds. "You're right. You're too smart to do something like that."

I am not going to lie. Her words made me question myself briefly. If I was doing the right thing, why was I lacking excitement and enthusiasm? 

 But clueless as I was, I brushed aside those thoughts. 

*

The first Eid-ul-Fitr after Sophie and I were 'engaged', her family was invited for dinner with us on the second day of Eid.

Sophie chose to wear a traditional dress, a long black floor-length dress with gentle gold embroidery at the hem, the neckline and running down the arms. The dupatta was sheer with a stunning border that matched the embroidery of the dress, and with occasionally large golden motifs spread out over the length of the veil. She paired the outfit with khusay, and golden jhumka earrings with tiny pearls hanging from them. Her hair was pinned back from her face by sparkling silver clips.

I wore a black shalwar-kameez suit and we entered the restaurant together behind our families. Papa had hired the entire banqueting hall upstairs so that we all could eat freely and privately.

Hareem Phupho's family had also joined us, as had Anabia Aunty and her daughters- Mama had extended the invitation to the whole family, but only Aunty and the twins were able to come. 

"Come on, pose for a photo!" Hareem Phupho insisted as she glanced at me and Sophie.

I stood beside Sophie, smiling at the camera. For one of the photos, Phupho made me and Sophie smile at each other, and I couldn't help noticing how genuinely happy my then fiancée looked.

"I can't believe you made me and Hoor wear matching clothes!" Haya's complaining voice came from behind us and I turned. 

"Your Reem Khalla chose the clothes, Haya. I don't see the big deal." Anabia Aunty led her daughters towards us. Indeed, the twins wore matching dresses. The only difference was that Haya's dress was pink, and Hoor's was light blue.

The dress itself was long frock-style, with tiny pearls running down the neckline to the midriff. The sleeves were sheer, with silver strips adorning the wrists. The dupatta had a white-silver floral border and had light blue and pink patterns stitched all over it, along with the occasional silver sequins. The shoes were silver high heels, triangular-shaped at the front, and Hoor didn't seem to be very comfortable in them.

"Assalam Alaikum!" Hareem Phupho greeted her best friends and her honorary nieces enthusiastically, before hugging each of them.

I smiled and greeted them as well once their greetings concluded.

"Congratulations to the new couple once again." Anabia Aunty glanced up at me, before looking at Sophie. "And Eid Mubarak to the two of you!"

*Eid Mubarak: Happy Eid. Eid greeting.

"Eid Mubarak to you all too." Sophie replied, warmly.

"Eid Mubarak." I glanced at Hoor. "Why wear shoes that you're not comfortable in?" 

She looked up at me surprised.

"I've been saying the same thing to her!" Haya is the one who replied, pointing down at her own flat white pumps. "Look how easily I'm walking!"

"I'm fine." Hoor said, stubbornly, even though her discomfort was blatantly obvious to me. Her hair fell in gentle curls over her shoulders. 

"Uncle, Rohaan and Arsal didn't come?" I asked in general.

"Papa had to go out of city this morning. God knows how they even let him celebrate Eid." Haya rolled her eyes. "Rohaan and Arsal went to watch a fooball match with Shayaan and Saim Mamu. It was Mamu's present for the boys."

"And what did Saim gift his beloved nieces?" Hareem Phupho asked them, frowning. "He better not have discriminated against you two!" She was fiercely protective of the twins.

"I'm going to watch a cricket match with him..." Haya coughed. "Just a Pakistan vs India match." She tried to act like it wasn't a big deal, but the excitement was clear in her eyes.

"And for Hoor?" Phupho questioned.

"She was given gift vouchers for her bookshop, more or less the same value as the tickets for the matches." Haya nudged her sister's midriff with her elbow. "Mamu knows she rather stay inside with a good book than go out."

"That's a lot of books to read." I smiled at Hooriya.

"Still not enough." She joked with a shy smile.

I chuckled and then I noticed Sophie looking at me and then Hoor with a curious look on her face, but my fiancée didn't comment. 

*

PRESENT

"Sophie is beyond amazing, and I cannot deny that. She wasn't wrong, and there's nothing wrong with her." I told my older cousin brother. "I just came to certain realisations way too late."

Mikael Bhai leaned back in his seat, thoughtfully. "I still cannot believe Sophie figured it all out before you did."

"She's very smart, Ma Sha Allah."

He grinned. "Smart, beautiful; are you sure she isn't way out of my league?" 

"Of course she is." I teased him. "Just be good to her, if she agrees. She deserves all the happiness in the world."

*

Sophie

I woke up to the sound of my alarm ringing. I sat up, sliding my feet into my bedroom slippers. As I walked to the bathroom, I paused to look out of the window. As I looked at the sunlight drenching the garden with its warmth, I reminded myself that it was yet another new day, yet another chance to be stronger than the day before.

As I stood under the warm shower a few moments later, I once again tried to appease my aching heart. I am not someone's second choice. I'm a strong, independent woman who needs to focus on her career right now. 

But only those who have loved can understand the heartbreak. I'd genuinely loved Farhaan. But I'd figured out a long time ago that he had undeniably strong feelings for Hooriya. The way I felt for him, he seemed to be feeling for her. And I didn't wish to be involved in a relationship where my partner yearned for another.

I dried off using my soft white towel, and then wrapping it around myself, I headed back into my bedroom. I blow dried my hair, noticing the redness at the edges of my green eyes. It was a small sign of the tears I'd shed at night, when a feeling of loneliness had strongly engulfed me. But I could explain the redness as shampoo having gotten into my eyes.

I put on my high-waisted black trousers and my cream blouse, before spraying on my Miss Dior spray. Running a brush through my hair, I pinned it back off my face, before applying light makeup. Sliding my feet into my high stiletto-heel court shoes, I grabbed my Gucci handbag and headed towards the door, holding my phone in my other hand.

"Good morning, Miss Sophie!" Ruby, the housemaid greeted me warmly.

"Good morning, Ruby. Is the breakfast ready?" I smiled at her.

"Yes." Ruby nodded. "I'll just make you fresh coffee."

I checked my schedule for the day on my phone as I walked into the dining room. I had two meetings, one before lunch and one after. It was going to be a long day, but it was a career of my choice, so at least I wasn't going to be bored.

"How are you feeling?" Ruby asked me when she returned with a mug of coffee for me.

"I'm well, Alhumdulillah." I gratefully took the mug from her. "Thank you."

"I'm glad." She said. "Trust me, Miss Sophie, you will find your happiness one day. God is Merciful! He sees your good intentions and your good heart, and He has the best planned for you, I'm certain."

"Allah has blessed me enough already, Ruby. I already am happy." I took a toast and began to spread butter over it. The blue-green eyes flashed in my mind, but I shook my head. "Happiness is not dependant on the presence of a man in a woman's life, Ruby. Happiness include being grateful for Allah for all the blessings, and also for achieving career goals."

"Miss Sophie, I have known you since you were a child." Ruby spoke gently. "Sometimes talking helps. If you wish to share your thoughts with me, I am a good listener. And sharing your problems eases the burden over your heart."

"I was twenty when I fell in love." I spoke blankly. "It's been over a decade now. Is it really sensible to think that I'd just get over it within days?" 

"You should not have stepped back if he didn't." 

"When his heart belonged to another, would I be fair to any of us if I'd emotionally blackmailed him into marrying me? I could have told him that he must go ahead with this marriage after giving me hopes since university, and maybe he would have agreed out of guilt, but would it be right?" 

Ruby looked sympathetic.

"I would have stopped him from living his life with her, and I could have been an obstacle to my own brighter future." I added. "No, Ruby. It's better this way."

"You're heart broken!" 

"So? It's not the end of the world." I shrugged. "People can't stop living and moving on just because of one heartbreak, otherwise the world would stop running."

"I pray for nothing but the best for you, Miss Sophie." 

"In Sha Allah." I gave her a reassuring smile to let her know that I was okay. "What's meant for me, nobody can take away from me anyway. So why worry?" 

"You're too good, Miss Sophie." 

I shook my head at her, laughing lightly. "And you're too biased." 

*

The driver drove me to my office building, and the office day flew by thanks to the meetings. It was a very nice, successful day, and I left work proud of myself.

But as the driver drove me back towards my house, I suddenly stopped him. "Wait! Go to that café!" I pointed across the road. "I need a coffee."

With a nod, the driver made a U-turn down the road and returned back to the café. As I was getting out, I asked if he wanted anything but he politely declined.

I headed towards the front of the café, ignoring the nostalgic feelings. This used to be our favourite café because of the epically delicious- but overpriced- coffee. But the high cost was definitely worth it. I walked up to the counter and placed my order for a mocha and an almond croissant. I was scrolling through my phone when I heard a familiar voice.

"Just a cappuccino please." 

I looked up and, indeed, it was him. Farhaan Faiz. Ignoring my pounding heart, I immediately turned my back towards him.

I got flashbacks of seeing him watching the stars on the university trip. I remembered the innocence of my youthful feelings, the giggles of endless excitement and the feeling of new, pure love. My eyes filled up. No. I was doing so well!

"Mocha and almond croissant!" The barista called out.

Taking a deep breath, I turned back around to grab my order, making sure that my gaze didn't drift.

"Sophie?" 

My fingers tightly grasped the hot drink, while the other hand curled into a fist, scrunching up the paper bag that contained my almond croissant. Composing myself, I turned to face Farhaan Faiz, the man that I was still hopelessly in love with. Forcing a smile on my face, I spoke. "Oh, Farhaan! Wow, long time!" As my gaze landed on the familiar features of his handsome face, I felt myself weakening.

"How are you, Sophie?" He asked, quietly.

"Amazing!" I replied. "I got a promotion recently, and Alhumdulillah, I'm doing quite well." 

"Ma Sha Allah. Congratulations!"

"Thank you. How are you?" I tilted my head to the side.

"I'm well, Alhumdulillah." He replied.

The awkwardness fell between us then, and I just couldn't bear it anymore. "I have to go. I have a few errands that I need to run. See you later, Farhaan." I began to walk towards the exit.

"Sophie..." 

I froze in my steps, wondering what else could he possibly have to say to me.

*

This was a bonus chapter I especially wrote to give you an insight on Sophie. I didn't have the time to write a full proper chapter.

Thoughts on Sophie?

Do you think she should be with Mikael?

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