All copyrights ©️ belong to StarsAndMoon1447

*

Yamna

I was relieved that I was going to be in my former room for the night. I had no idea how to handle my feelings right now. I even pretended to be super sleepy so that Mama went back to her room. I couldn't face anyone right now.

Pregnant.

Baby.

Me.

At twenty-two.

Just before I started my new job.

Nothing made sense. At the same time, it was natural. After all, a baby was an expected next step for a married couple, right?

It's too early.

It was the right time.

It's a blessing of Allah.

How will I work now?

My head was a constant battlefield between opposing thoughts. My heart was a battlefield between conflicting emotions.

Everything felt real, but everything also felt fictional.

"Yamna?"

I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard Rohaan's voice from the doorway. It was the middle of the night. What was he doing here? I didn't move or indicate that I was awake. It was all so weird for me right now.

How will he even react?

Based on his behaviour with his nephews and nieces, I had a positive feeling about his reaction.

But what about my own reaction? What did I want? I didn't even know.

Happy or sad?

Thrilled or terrified?

I knew it was a blessing, and many people yearned for this blessing, but for me... it was unexpected. I was yet to decide whether it was positive or negative.

I heard the door close, but I didn't dare immediately move to see if he had left or stayed. It was only after a minute or two that I turned. He had left.

I sighed in relief, but the feeling of anxiety didn't leave me.

It was happening. I had to accept it, no matter how scared I felt.

*

Rohaan

I met Saba Chachi when I had just returned from the police station after finding out new information about Asma. She told me that Yamna had been sleepy, so Chachi wasn't going to be stay with her tonight.

Yamna had been asleep when I'd peeked into the room, so I returned to my own room.

My mind was in a constant battle. Was Asma innocent, or was she a player in some elaborate criminal scheme?  The man who claimed to be her Mamu, wasn't the Mamu that she had come to the UK to live with during her studies. And now she was missing from her safehouse.

Now here I was, making notes in the middle of the night, trying to figure out exactly what the heck was going on. Where are her parents? Why can't anyone get in touch with them? 

If I have a daughter, no damn way would I ever let anyone look at her in the wrong way. As for sending her abroad and not even checking up on her? No f**king way in my lifetime. And not just my girl, I would annoy the s**t out of my son as well by being overprotective.

And yet, here was Asma, in a situation that was probably too terrifying for her...and the police couldn't even get in touch with her parents. I imagined that if it was Boss Woman, she would have flown out immediately to check up on her aulaad. 

I only slept shortly before Fajr, and then was back up for Fajr. 

I had no idea what was going on, but I was going to get to the bottom of this. I'd seen the way Shayaan had seemed interested in Asma at Ahmed's Nikah, and I wanted to ensure that the girl wasn't some cold-blooded criminal before my kind-hearted cousin got involved. 

*

Yamna

The next day, I wanted to get my mind off things, and so I decided to take a trip to a shopping centre. Normally, I hated shopping unless it was for books. But today, I wanted to get away from everyone and take some time for myself. I was scared, anxious, and terrified, and I didn't want to think about the imminent change in my life. One of the most important changes ever.

"Alone?" Mama looked at me, confused. It was that uncharacteristic for me to go shopping by myself, voluntarily, that even my mother was stunned.

"Yeah. Why not?" I shrugged. "I need some work clothes anyway." 

"Okay, sunshine." She gave me a small smile, before heading back into the kitchen.

I headed upstairs and silently entered our room. Rohaan was sleeping in, and I didn't wake him. I grabbed my purse and headed out, writing a quick note to let him know of my whereabouts. Mama was going to tell him anyway.

I asked the family driver to drive me because I felt too shaken up to drive myself. My skin felt cold and trembly. My instincts kept telling me not to face this situation alone, and that I should tell Rohaan, or Mama, or anyone I trusted. But I brushed those instincts aside. I had to muster up the courage to speak up.

When I got to the shopping centre though, and I was strolling between the racks and aisles in the shops, my mood took a sharp descend southward once again. I began to wonder how long I was going to even fit in those blouses and trousers. I was going to have to apply for a maternity leave when I started... during my probation period. Will they even keep me in the job? I tried so hard to ignore my worrisome thoughts, but I wasn't successful.

I headed out of one shop, and made my way towards the lifts to go up to the fourth level, where the bookshop was. My mind was miles away, and I was focused on nothing. Stepping inside, I pressed the button and watched as the doors closed. The lift jerked slightly and then started moving.

Okay, first things first, I have to tell Rohaan ASAP. After repeatedly reminding him to be honest and open, I can't keep such a huge thing from him. That would be hypocrisy.

Plus he's the father of the baby. He has a right to know.

But what if he gets upset? What if he says it's too early?

I felt tears in my eyes. Even I felt it was too early. I'd had no plans for a job, but now that I had unexpectedly found one, I wanted it. I really, really wanted it, but now...

Suddenly, the lift jerked again, and this time it came to a complete halt. I gasped, clutching onto the metallic handrails on the side. I looked around in fear, before logic made me press the alarm button.

There was a buzz, and then a voice over the intercom, "I can see the emergency button has been pressed. Are you okay?"

"The l-l-lift has st-stopped." I gasped out.

"Alright, Miss, can you please give me the reference number for the lift written on a red sticker by the buttons?" 

I was trembling and my gaze moved towards the buttons and I read out the reference number. "P-Please hurry." 

"The engineers are on their way, miss." The voice on the intercom said. "There's a possibility of the light going off, but it's a part of the rebooting process. You will remain perfectly safe."

Remain calm. Remember, the baby depends on you. I reminded myself. I needed to take care of my baby. It was to be a part of my core nature now, that maternal protectiveness.

Caged in, and darkness? That sounded like a nightmare.

I sat down on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. I had to repeatedly remind myself to remain calm. I had to find a way to survive until the engineers came to help me out.

✿✿✿ 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕠𝕗 𝕐𝕒𝕞𝕟𝕒 ℝ𝕠𝕙𝕒𝕒𝕟 ✿✿✿

I opened my eyes and saw Rohaan sitting across me, his leg stretched out, a lazy grin on his face.

"You're such a chicken, hamster." He chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What if the lift breaks and goes crashing down?! It's a legit worry!" 

He laughed harder. "This isn't my film. In reality, it's more probable that the engineers would come first."

"In reality, I wouldn't have expected a bullet to graze me either!" I argued.

He sighed. "Yamna, you're okay. You're going to be okay, In Sha Allah." 

"And the baby? I'm responsible for it..." 

"The baby is a child of Rohaan. He or she is stronger than you think."

✿✿✿ 𝔼𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 ✿✿✿

I opened my eyes as a tear ran down my cheek.

Rohaan wasn't here. I was here alone.

But Mama always said that a good partner made us stronger, even in their absence. And that's exactly what Rohaan had done. He had given the hamster some courage and confidence.

Shakily, I got up to my feet. I'm strong. I can do this. 

The lift seemed to drop sharply, causing me to shriek as I almost lost my balance.

I'm not strong. I'm going to die in here!

*

Rohaan

"Asma was stopped at Heathrow early this morning, attempting to board the first departing flight with a connection to Pakistan." Lucinda informed me as I got to the station.

Usually, it didn't take me long to figure people out, but this girl was a big mystery. 

"If it was that easy for her to escape and go back home, why not do it earlier?" I wondered out loud.

She shrugged. With a sigh, she turned to me. "I don't think we can go further with this anyway. The bosses said that we can't waste police resources on this anymore. We have literally no evidence against forced marriage..."

"The girl literally ran into the police station and told us that..." My voice trailed off. 

"Exactly, Rohaan. The same girl who escaped the safehouse and was attempting to board a flight to Pakistan without informing us." 

I massaged my temples. "My mind is a jumbled mess right now. I need a break." 

She looked thoughtfully at me for a few seconds before nodding. "Yes, you do. I actually was going to mention that to you, Rohaan. You've been constantly dealing with one issue after another. Take a break. Go on a holiday with your wife." 

"Without solving this mystery? Do you not know me?" I grinned at her.

"Rohaan, you are our teammate, and we all care about you, but seriously... take time away from this nonsense, away from your reality." She spoke like someone who genuinely cared. Lucinda had always been like a maternal figure to many of us.

"Fine. I'll consider it." I took my phone out of my pocket, sitting on the chair with my legs stretched out.

<Rohaan: Home yet?>

When I had woken up, Yamna had already left for shopping. Something felt off to me. There seemed to be some sort of a radio silence from her side.

There was no reply from her, but then I got busier with my work and didn't think about it for a while.

*

Third Person POV

The girl had her head bowed, and had a red shawl with small mirrorwork draped over her shoulders. The silver nose ring glimmered in the dim light.

"Miss, you are not in trouble." The policewoman spoke gently to me. "We are here regarding your welfare. You escaped from police protection for your own safety." 

Asma looked up at her, then looked at the gruff-looking immigration officer beside her.

"We are just here to ensure that you've not been a victim of a crime here in the UK." The policewoman continued. "You'll be free to go after that." 

Flashbacks sped through her mind, making her close her eyes. A painful expression descended over her face, and a tear ran down her cheek.

*

FLASHBACK

"Call us as soon as you land!" Her mother hugged her tearfully at Karachi Airport. 

Asma beamed. "Mama, just be excited for me! I've always wanted to study in London!"  She hugged her mother back, just as tightly.

"This world is a cruel place." Her mother sighed. "At least you'll be safe at your Mamu's. That's the only reason you are going!" 

"Yes, but if they do not treat you right, don't hesitate to let us know." Her father spoke in a joking tone, but both mother and daughter knew that he meant those words. 

With a red glittering headband pushing back her black curly locks, and dressed in black jeans and a knee-length red and white floral dress, along with black ankle boots, an excited Asma was ready for her new adventure in the UK. She knew that her parents had put in a HUUUUUUUUGE amount of their savings to pay for this, an she promised to study hard and become something so that she could provide them with some relief. 

"You have your passport, your ticket, everything?" Her mother confirmed again.

"Yes, Mama." Asma giggled softly.

"May you remain under Allah's protection. Take care, my sweetheart." Her father kissed her forehead. "You must go now, otherwise you might be late for your flight."

And like countless of students, with a skip in her step, Asma headed through security with her luggage, ready for an excitement academic opportunity abroad! 

*

PRESENT

" I came here to study." Asma told the police officer and the immigration officer. "I was to stay at my Mamu's house, my paternal uncle." She swallowed hard. The first year was fine, but..." 

"But?" 

"My Mumani, the wife of that uncle, had a relative who was looking for a bride. They visited my Mamu's house, saw me, and told my aunt that they were interested in me." More tears spilled out of my eyes. "My Mamu refused. He said that I was only here for studies, and the matter of my marriage was between me and my parents. Mumani wasn't happy, because she was close to those relatives. So...so when my Mamu was away for a work trip, she... she forced me to drop out of my university. She said that my stay in this country was based on a student visa, and with me dropping out of university, I would be illegal here. She said that marrying her relative will help me get a permanent status here, as he was a British citizen." 

Even the gruff immigration officer looked sympathetic now. "And then what?" 

"I refused. I even reminded them that forced marriages are not allowed in Islam, but they didn't listen." Asma said. "I was unable to call or contact my parents. They never let me. When Mamu was around, nobody could say or do anything to hurt me..." She burst into fresh tears. "But then he passed away due to a heart attack, and I was completely at their mercy." She took a deep, shaky breath. "Mumani is still in idaah, but she still ordered for preparation of my marriage to her relative. Idaah is basically a widow's mourning period, or even a divorcée's." 

 "So, that's how you ended up in the police station that night?" 

"I don't know how I found the courage to come here." She shook her head in disbelief. "Actually, I think I found the strength when I gained access to my passport and phone again." 

"Gained excess? What do you mean by that?" The policewoman looked at Asma, curiously.

"Mumani had kept my passport and my phone in her safe. But the day of my supposed wedding, the safe had been let open. She forgot to close it while taking out a gold necklace for me to wear as a bride. I took my passport and phone then, and I started making a plan." She buried her face in her hands and stared sobbing. For a few seconds, she sobbed, and they listened. "I recharged my phone and tried calling my parents repeatedly, but it seemed that they had blocked my number. When I called a cousin back home, she told me that Mumani had told my parents that I had ran off with a boy somewhere, even dropping out of university. Mumani had a photo of the confirmation email, and she showed it to them." 

"So, your parents...?" The policewoman prodded.

"Basically, I think that I'm disowned." Asma laughed humourlessly.

"Your parents didn't even bother attempting to reach out to you?" The immigration officer asked in disbelief.

"They did. When I turned my phone back on, I found missed call notifications and messages from them. But when I messaged them, the messages were not delivered. I had no money, I had nowhere to go..." Asma let the pain briefly overwhelm her completely.

"Asma, why did you escape?" 

"I finally got a message from Mama last night. She unblocked me. She had been up for Fajr prayers." Asma explained. "We spoke to each other on the phone, even. She told me to pack my bags because she was going to book me the first flight home, which was this morning when I was stopped by the police. She did book the ticket and emailed it to me." She paused. "I'm not a criminal. I was just going home. I was just going to Mama." The thought of narrowly missing the chance of going back to her homeland made her sob hard again.

"I'm so sorry to hear all this, Asma." The policewoman spoke after a long silence. "We stopped you because you came to us for help, and we wanted to make sure that you were okay. But don't worry, okay? We will get you home."

"Mama got me the ticket, but now it's gone to waste." 

"No, don't worry. We'll have you rebooked onto the next flight, okay?" 

She nodded. Even the thought of landing on her homeland made her smile slightly. She was finally going home!

*

Yamna

"DON'T WORRY, MISS! YOU'RE SAFE!" A voice came from one of the levels above. 

I almost fell to my death, and he's saying that I'm okay?!

Soon, the lift started moving, and I sighed in relief. And when the doors opened, I wanted to cry. I was free...and, more importantly, alive! 

Once the engineers and the shopping centre managers made sure that I was okay...and after I was handed a bunch of vouchers for my trauma, I walked away. It was time to go home no. Even my shopping trip had ended in drama.

But then I felt a wetness... the kind experienced during periods.

*TRIGGERING THEME*

But how could I be on period...? 

A sharp pain in my abdomen gave me my answer. It was so sudden, so intense, that I doubled over with a scream. Allah!

Oh no...

With panic, worry and a new fear gripping me, I blacked out.

*

Rohaan

Yamna was calling. 

I immediately grabbed my phone and answered it. "Hey, you. How was shopping?" I grinned, knowing how much she hated shopping.

"Am I speaking to Mr Rohaan?" An unfamiliar voice came from the other side.

"Speaking. Who is this?" I frowned, all traces of humour disappearing.

"Your number was on the emergency contact number on the lock screen of this phone. I'm calling from St Michael's Hospital. Are you related to the owner of this number?" 

"Yes, this is my wife's number. Hospital?!" I could barely speak.

*

I almost collapsed with relief when I saw Yamna sitting on the bed, looking generally okay. But as I got closer, I saw that while she was breathing, her eyes and expressions seemed lifeless. Confused, I looked at the doctor standing by her bed. "Doctor, is she okay? What's going on?" 

The doctor looked at me grimly. "I'm afraid that she has miscarried. I'm so sorry for your loss." 

I blinked at her, not sure if I had understood what she was saying. "She has what? How can that be? For that to be true, she had to be..." I looked at Yamna, and suddenly her expressions, or lack thereof,  and lifelessness made sense. "Yamna." A part of me broke completely when I looked at her with this new knowledge. 

It didn't seem to be Yamna in front of me. It seemed to be a clone of her, without her usually cheeriness or bubbliness. Her warmth, her sunshine, seemed to have faded away.

I placed both my hands on my wife's cheeks, but she was staring blankly at her hands in her lap. "Yamna, I..." I had no words. I had no idea how to even start.

"I kept thinking that it was too early..." She whispered. "I kept thinking about my new job, about what I wanted. I caused this. I unintentionally prayed for this. This is my fault. You should blame me." 

"This isn't your fault, Yamna. Unfortunately, these things happen." 

The doctor excused herself to give us privacy.

"THIS IS MY FAULT!" Yamna screamed out as tears started running down her cheeks. "You should arrest me for grave negligence towards your baby!"

I took her in my arms and held her as she cried. "No, Yamna. This isn't your fault." I kissed the top of her head. "W-When did you find out?" 

"J-Just last night. There was not a moment when I smiled and said Alhumdulillah. I kept worrying and being scared, and I constantly kept thinking that it was too early!" She sobbed. "I was ungrateful! I rejected this blessing." 

I shook my head. "No, Yamna. Allah is the All Merciful, capable of loving us more than seventy mothers. He would not punish a mother like that for simply having doubts. But sometimes things happen for a reason that we are not aware of."

I felt shaken. Yamna had been pregnant with our baby. I had been this close to fatherhood, but we had lost our child. 

She had found out she was pregnant, and she lost her baby. She went through all of it alone.

"Twenty-four hours ago, I didn't even know that I was pregnant." She muttered. "And now I'm not, once again." 

I held onto her, closing my eyes as the worst amount of grief that I'd ever felt washed over me. I would have been thrilled had I known about the pregnancy. 

I'm going to have to set my own grief aside. I cannot even begin to imagine what Yamna is going through. 

"Yamna, I'm so sorry that you went through all this alone." I whispered.

And then some of Lucinda's words sank into my head, and I knew just what my next step was going to be. I was going to take Yamna away from here, far away. I needed to help her heal, and the best way to do so was to get away from normalcy just for a bit, just the two of us.

Yes, life wasn't all rainbows and sunshine, but sometimes we had to find those moments between the darkness of our normal reality. 

This was my grief too, but I had to appreciate that it was much worse for her. Therefore, it was my duty to take the extra steps to help with the healing process. 

My baby. Our baby. A pang of grief stabbed away at my heart.

But I kept myself composed. I had to be stronger for her. I had to help her throughout this healing stage. I just wished that I succeeded in that.

*

How will this major grief impact Yamna?

Would Rohaan be successful in helping her heal as much as possible?

I know this was sad, but as the title says, life isn't just rainbows and sunshine.

So, you know more about Asma now. 

But what role would she play in the story?

Favourite part?

Thoughts and comments?

Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote!

P.S. I intended to make this chapter longer, but unfortunately couldn't. So, I just published what I could.