PRESENT

They say one mistake won't kill you, but making the same one over and over again will.

And that's what Eamonn was. A terrible mistake I couldn't get rid of.

Broken hearts like mine were a bitch, and it thought replacing feelings with sex would help. But it never did, not when I was still going back to the same person I should have tossed aside months ago.

Eamonn: I'm sorry.

Those were Eamonn's favorite words, but they made my stomach twist in knots.

Comfort and familiarity did that.

It always had me welcoming Eamonn back, even when I could spot the lies behind his dangerous smile that haunted me.

You'd think I'd learn from my past. Charming smiles and sweet words only brought pain. Trusting men only ended in heartbreak. My father and countless others taught me that. Yet somehow, I always found myself back in the same position with a different man, only this time I was determined to break free from the loop.

I ignored his text and continued sweeping the floors.

Salsa played on repeat as I sang aloud. It was the quickest and most entertaining way to get the job done. Especially in a big house, like the one I was in. The place was almost spotless and I was just one dirt pile away from being done when Mrs. Bálor's voice called out to me over the low music in my headphones.

"Banessa, what are you still doing here?" she questioned as I spun on my heels.

Her blonde hair dripped over her shoulder in waves. Unlike mine, hers didn't look like a mess. It was neat with only a few flyaways. Her arms crossed over her chest, waiting for my answer.

"I was just finishing up," I explained, placing the broom against the wall.

"Mr. Bálor is going to be here soon. You know how I feel about you being here when he comes home after a long day."

Mrs. Bálor was one of those women who wanted to take care of her family, have a clean house, and have hot food on the table when they came home. Unlike a lot of women, Mrs. Bálor didn't have her children home every day. They lived at the academy she shipped them off to for school so it was just her and her husband most days. But even then, she refused to get down on her knees and scrub the floor.

Not that her husband knew.

She kept secrets from him, such as having a cleaning lady come by almost every day during the week while he was at work. I wasn't sure why it was a problem for him to know, especially when there were zero pictures of him around the house. It was as if he wasn't even a part of her family, but I wouldn't question a woman in her own home. I was just there to clean.

"I'll go now then. I just have to grab my jacket and my bag." I mentioned while following her out to the living room. Though, my feet stopped short as the front door opened, revealing the red-headed officer I was more than familiar with.

"Honey, I'm—" His words got caught in his throat as his emerald eyes fell over me. Horror flashed in his eyes and I knew what he was thinking: I was a rat.

The contents in my stomach churned as I shook, ready to yell. But there was nothing I could say or do. I froze, staring at the man I shared my bed with on more than one occasion. The man who still claimed he was divorced.

My chest tightened, realizing what my head already understood.

Eamonn Bálor.

I should have known. Bálor. It wasn't a common name, but I never allowed my mind to win over my heart. Such a stupid thing I could have done.

Mrs. Bálor walked over to him. Her hand turned his face to her. She placed a small peck on his lips, but her eyes were on me, like a vindictive woman uncovering her husband's dirty little secret. Staking her claim on a man who never had anything nice to say about her when he was in my arms.

"You're home early." She smiled looking back at him.

"Yeah, things were pretty slow at the station today." He glanced at me for a brief second as he stepped inside. "I didn't know you were having company over."

"I needed some help cleaning today, so I called up a friend and they recommended Banessa here, so I asked her if she could come in last minute."

Eamonn nodded in silence.

I let in a deep breath, keeping myself as composed as I could regardless of my hands curling into fists.

I wasn't going to cry or fight for any man. No man would ever make me suffer for a choice they made. If they didn't want me in their life, it was their loss, not mine.

And it definitely was Eamonn's loss.

To think I could have texted him back with a yes.

"I was just leaving, though." I looked over at both of them and smiled. "Have a wonderful night."

Picking up my bag from the corner along with my jacket from the hook, I walked past them.

"Wait, Banessa." He called as his hand caught my arm just as I opened the door. "Why not wait a few moments for a ride, unless you have one?"

My eyes snapped to him. He knew I had a car. He was just giving himself a reason to walk me out so he could explain. The pleading look in his eyes told me exactly that, but I was done. I wanted an out from our little back and forth and I finally got it. Married men with a family were where I drew the line. "No thank you, Officer Bálor. I've had enough rides. I would rather go home alone."

Pulling from his grasp, I did the only thing I could and ran. The cool breeze of autumn pushed me forward until I was five blocks away from where I parked my car because apparently, I was a secret on both sides of the Bálor family.

How unreal.

"Fuck." I huffed and closed my eyes tight, keeping the tears that swelled from falling. "Fuck!"

My hand slammed against my car door. I took deep breaths. I should have known.

Never cry over a man.

I took another deep breath and stood up straight. Opening the car door, I climbed in, tossing my bag onto the passenger seat. "Fuck Bálor. Fuck Eamonn. Fuck men. Fuck relationships."

Reaching for the rearview mirror, I shifted it. My brown eyes were clear of any tears. Good. Brushing loose strands of hair behind my ear, I sat back and turned on the car.

"No man deserves your tears. You're fabulous." I pumped myself up like I was my own best friend before driving off.

Away from Eamonn, away from all the bullshit drama that would have happened if I stayed. Mrs. Bálor made her point. She was married to him and if she wanted to keep a man like him then fine. She could keep him, my gift to her. I didn't want him, not anymore.

I want you to be a part of my life, all of it.

His sweet words no longer meant anything. He never even mentioned he had kids! He hid his entire world from me and kept me from his real life—his true life. Men, at least the ones I always went for, were all liars, cheaters, and fakes. He was just another example of my own poor judgment.

"You're the only man who never lets me down." I patted the steering wheel of my car.

But I spoke too soon. A sudden grinding and popping noise suddenly had me stopping on the side of the road just two streets away from my house. I slammed my head on the steering wheel and sighed.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."