"Hey! Nathan, thanks for coming dear." I heard my mother say to the person now standing in the front hall, taking off his jacket. I grinned and shot up off the couch to watch him come inside and greet everyone. He had missed not only the summer barbeque, but Thanksgiving as well, and my family was making up for his absence with hugs and well wishes from all sides.

I saw him looking around and waved to him from my spot, motioning him over to come sit with me and shoving my sister out of her spot so he could fit. It took a while for him to get through the crowd of family and friends to where I was waiting.

"Hey." He said to me. I smiled and hugged him.

"Hey back stranger. Thanks for coming." I replied. I pulled him down onto the couch and asked him how his school courses went this past semester. I tried to act like he was just away and not really like we had broken up. I was really interested, despite how upset I had been to be ignored... I felt it was more important that we were talking now.

I kept the conversation on him. How his family was doing, what he was doing in his spare time. He looked a little uncomfortable for a second when he mentioned going out with friends, but I just asked him to tell me all about them. You know like what their names were, how they had met and stuff.

We were talking. It didn't matter what it was about. I got to just stare at him as he went on about his new friend Gerry and how he had accidentally dropped his phone in the fountain at the park. I had missed this so much. Seeing him up close and smiling at me. Why the heck had I put this in jeopardy?

"Alright folks! Food is served in the dining room. Oldest to youngest now." My dad called from the hallway. The shift of people made their way through the house to grab plates and food from the overladen tables that were against one wall. We used to try to do a full sit down dinner, but most of the aunts and uncles now had too many growing children to make it practical at anyone's house.

The kid's table had been overflowing and set up in a different room. The adult's table was cramped with friends. It had all fallen apart one year when my cousin's kid had gotten mad at my uncles' adopted son and started a food fight. The cleaning bill had been horrendous due to the mashed potatoes being flung about and the 'children' were never left by themselves again.

When it was finally our turn, I followed in behind Nathan for once. He usually let me cut the line, but I just smiled and told him to go first. He was slightly older after all. By a couple months if I remembered correctly. He did reach over and grab me the last piece of apple pie before anyone else got to it and passed it to me.

"Thanks." I breathed, my face glowing with happiness at my favourite. There was still lots of chocolate left, so he would be fine... but, "Make sure you get one of those brownies. They are really good this year." I pointed at the plate at the end that my uncle had brought with him.

"Okay, I will grab one." He smiled at me and I gulped before following him back to the living room with our plates full of food. It was quieter now that everyone was eating. Only a murmur of conversation between everyone between bites. I had to try not to stare. I forgot how good looking my best... Nathan, how good looking Nathan was.

He looked amazing in a dark green sweater over a black button down shirt, rolled up slightly at the cuffs. His dark brown trousers, and a pair holiday print socks were slightly casual and yet added to the sexiness of the outfit. Man I think I had it bad if candy cane print socks were sexy now. I blushed at the thoughts that were floating through my head.

"Okay everyone, listen up! Clean up duty is..." My dad reached in the jar and started pulling out names of the attendees one by one. A few people groaned when their name was called but reluctantly went to the kitchen to help out. Fortunately, neither of us were called.

"Cards tables will be in the dining room again this year. The movie in the living room will be Jim Carrey's 'Grinch Who Stole Christmas' for those who want to watch. The downstairs rec room is back open for the younger kids, but no food is allowed down there so finish your desserts first." My mother reminded everyone before heading to oversee the clean up.

Normally I would have invited him up to my room and we would hang out until everyone else left, generally playing video games on my personal tv. My mum always said that as long as I stayed downstairs until after dessert it was fine. Now though, I was sort of nervous to make the offer. SO many questions ran through my head.

Was it too soon? Would he be okay with being alone with me? Would he think I was just trying to pick up our friendship where it left off? I didn't want him to think he was still being friend-zoned. I didn't want him to think I was inviting him for something else yet though. Damn it. Trying to start dating your ex-best-friend was harder than it sounded.

"Did you want to watch the movie? I was thinking maybe we could go for a walk." He said to me, breaking the silence with his suggestion. I jumped at it.

"Sure! A walk sounds great. Let's get our coats." I got up and led the way to the front hall, where I grabbed both our jackets from the large hall closet, and we put them on before stepping out into the chill air. I pulled on a set of thin gloves from my pocket and flipped my hood up to block the bit of wind from ruffling my hair.

"The park?" He offered at the end of the front walk. I nodded and we turned in unison towards one of our favourite places. It was just a few blocks away and the neighbourhood was dead quiet as we walked. 'Not a creature was stirring,' I believe the phrase went? I smiled in the cold air and glanced over at my companion. He looked thoughtful.

"Swings or slide?" I asked him at the entrance. He headed to the right, towards the swings. I followed and climbed onto the one next to him, cringing at the grating squeal of the metal chains as it rocked under my weight.

"They really should oil these things." He said with a laugh.

"Yeah, they sound like a dying animal." I replied with a roll of my eyes. The quiet descended between us again, but it didn't feel oppressive to me. It had always been comfortable for me to just be around Nate. I breathed in the fresh air and enjoyed the moment.

"I missed this." He admitted quietly. I gulped with sudden emotion.

"Yeah. Me too." I responded. I blinked back the dangerously close tears and smiled brightly at him. "Can we... do you think we can start over?" He stared at me. His eyes were shadowed in the gloom of the evening and I couldn't read his face.

"No... but... maybe we can keep going a little better?" He asked in return, looking down at the sand at our feet.

"Really? I'd really like that. Let's not fight like this again, okay?" I reached out for his hand and he stretched out his arm to grasp my gloved one in his bare one.

"Okay. I'll try. You are really stubborn sometimes though." He replied cheekily. I huffed.

"Rude. I know. I'll try too. I mean, I've been trying not to be such an idiot but you know it's hard for me." I said with an insolent grin.

"Let me guess... the chocolate?" He gave me a knowing look. I laughed and nodded. "That is... how the heck did you know my locker combination?"

"I'll never tell." I sneezed suddenly and he looked concern as he came up to me on the swing.

"Sorry. Are you cold? Maybe we should head back." He grabbed my other hand and helped me up off the swings. We walked back out of the park and down the street. We were watching as we approached; someone left the party to get in their car and drive away.

"Guess the party is wrapping up." I said sadly. He shrugged and we went inside to warm up. My mom had hot chocolate out now, and we both grabbed a mug. She hugged me briefly and pressed her cheek against my red, cold one with a giggle.

"Where have you two been?" She asked quietly.

"The park. We went for a walk." I smiled at her happy expression. She was probably a little tipsy too, but it just lent a little glow to her cheeks.

"Okay, not too much longer hun. Finish your hot chocolates." She said before leaving me to join others in the front hall who were getting ready to leave. I led Nathan to sit in the living room with less than half a dozen people and the screen dark. We had been a lot longer than I thought on our walk. I heard a giggle from behind me.

"Look up." I heard Mark say to me and I tilted my head back to see... mistletoe. On a string. Dangling over our heads.

"I can't believe you still have that." I heard someone whisper. I looked down to see a rather hesitant look on Nathan's face.

"You don't have to if you don't..."

I kissed him. I did it. I just leaned forward and pressed my lips against his before he even finished his sentence. They were still moving a little against mine as I smothered them with my silly inexperienced lips. Maybe it was the sugar high. I could blame it on the happiness I felt just exploding from my pores at being with him again.

Really I just wanted to kiss him. That strange feeling of being so full I thought my chest was going to burst overwhelmed me. His mouth was warm from the hot chocolate and his lips were soft. I put out a hand to steady myself and encountered a hard, hot male chest. I knew I was probably doing it all wrong, but I couldn't pull away just yet.

I wanted to taste him. Nibble on those beautiful male lips just a second longer. Feel the faint scratch of youthful scruff against my own jaw as my lips moved on his gently. I trembled at the feeling of him being so close to me. My eyes fluttered as I pulled back from him with a blush. The room was silent and still as I licked my lips.

His eyes followed the movement and suddenly the room was full of laughter, wolf-whistles and more boisterous chatter than of a moment ago. He looked stunned. Someone patted him on the back but his eyes never left mine. I gulped and grinned at a comment from one of my family members.

"Merry Christmas Nate." I whispered just loud enough for him to catch. He blinked.

"Merry Christmas to you too." He replied dazed.