Peter

I faked smiled as people came and shook hands with me. Some of them didn't even feel like smiles, more like grimaces. Everyone said they were sorry for my loss, some were still crying, some had no emotion at all. I didn't really know any of them. Most of them seemed familiar, probably co-workers or friends. I couldn't tell. I was too busy pretending that I was fine, pretending like I still had a family waiting for me to get home, or even a home to go to. It felt like I was in a time loop for decades, fake smile, shake hands, say something without crying, say goodbye. I had stopped seeing faces, stopped feeling the grip from other people's hands, stopped trying to remember if I had met the people before. It all became a reflex I did. After an eternity of emptiness and the greeting reflex, I was finally alone. I sighed deeply and walked up to the new dug grave.

May Parker
Loving wife and friend
1967 - 2020

Right next to her was Ben. I guess they're finally reunited, I just couldn't be there. A part of me wish I could....because I didn't exactly have anyone left. I starred at the gravestone for a good 5 minutes.

"I'm sorry....I'm not with you....I'm sorry....for not always being the perfect nephew....I'm sorry....I'm sorry if I ever disappointed you" I said as my voice broke and tears started flowing. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was spider-man" I cried as I fell down to my knees.

And when I did. All the tears I had been holding in for weeks came flowing out. I cried until my lungs hurt, my eyes felt sore but I kept crying. I couldn't stop. But after a while I felt my spidey sense go off and I dried my tears knowing full well who it was. After drying my tears and listening to footsteps getting closer I soon saw a pair of black designer shoes next to me.

"Hi kid" Mr. Stark's voice said softly.

Mr. Stark knew about my aunt. When he first heard about it the first thing he did was to make sure I didn't end up in a random foster home. Instead he took me in. It's been nice staying with him. He doesn't push me to talk about May if I don't want to. He's given me space to grieve and....distractions....from the pain. But even so....I didn't invite him to the funeral. I didn't want him to see me like this... this broken. He wasn't very close with May either. They mostly emailed and sometimes called. The two of them actually only met once.
I had hoped he wouldn't turn up this soon to pick me up. But then again....I've probably been here for hours. Mr. Stark sighed deeply when I didn't answer him. I couldn't, or he'd know I had been crying my eyes out. I waited for him to say something but he stayed quiet for once in his life. Instead he sat down on the cold slightly wet ground.

"Listen kid....I know this is a dumb question I already know the answer to. But how are you feeling?" He asked.

"Fine" I answered quickly so I wouldn't start crying again.

"I know you're not. And it's okay to cry Peter. In fact it's normal. It's a good way to....get it out....the pain....and I know that me saying that is kinda being a hypocrite. But....I don't want you to pretend to be fine when you're really not. So just....talk to me"

I glanced at him, still staying silent. Mr. Stark then glanced over at me and I immediately looked away. He sighed again before he put his arm around me and pulled me close. I didn't stop him.

"I....don't know what to say....I don't think I....know how to talk about....this" I said referring to May.

"Well that ok-...."

"No it's not!!" I yelled making Mr. Stark flinch a little but still not letting go of me. "It's not okay. She wasn't just my aunt. She raised me! She was there when my parents died, when Ben died, when I had my first breakup.....she was there for all of it! And I can't even.." I said and started crying into Mr. Stark's black suit. "I can't even open my mouth to talk about her. Like I don't have anything to say about the woman who's always been there....no matter what happened or who died....she was still there....a-and n-now she's gone" I cried.

Mr. Stark didn't say anything. Instead he hugged me tighter. Not breaking the hug even though I tried to a little bit, even though I fell silent and cried. He hugged me. He let me know....that he wasn't going anywhere....whatever I liked it or not.

"Do you want me to let go?" Mr. Stark asked after a while when I had stopped crying a little bit.

I thought about it. Only a short while ago I didn't even wanna see Mr. Stark....now I didn't want him to let go. So I shook my head.

"Please....don't let go!" I sobbed.

_________________________________________

You know before whumptober I actually wondered why I thought having an update schedule was so hard?

Now I remember

Still gonna keep going though because I'm a stubborn idiot