✨Or, Tony being the second parent when May needs him✨

Tony doesn't know why he picks up the phone, honestly. It'd said 'Unknown Number.' Obviously that was a sign from.. someone. Thor probably.

"Yellow," he chirps.

"Tony."

Oh shit, it was May Parker. Fuck.

"Um- Hey this is Tony leave a message after the beep. BEE-"

"I know it's you on the phone Stark don't fuck with me!"

"Oh, uh, hey May. What's up?"

She mumbles something probably insulting under her breath. "I blame you for all this. Things only took a turn when you showed up."

"Well, I think you only started noticing them because Peter is a bad liar," he says, leaning back in his chair. That'd kind of stung but he probably deserved it. He felt the same way about himself. Whenever he showed up things went south.

"Yep he is. You know what he's also doing? Staying out all night. You gave him that suit- you try talking to him."

"Right. Yes ma'am." God she was scary. "Also, how'd you get my number?"

"Google. I guess you're not so good at hiding things either. Maybe that's where Peter's learning it," she snaps.

Their phones disconnect. Tony throws his head back and groans. Great. Now he, the emotionally unavailable tin man had to talk feelings with a very much breakable kid.

He scrubs a hand against his face.
Shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This time, Tony recognizes the number on his phone and he doesn't try to pretend he's his automated voice message.

"May."

"Tony," she says, sounding less violent. "I wanted to apologize for a few nights ago."

"What? Why?"
People don't apologize to Tony Stark. They usually just try to kill him when he pisses them off.

"You helped. Really helped I-... couldn't have done it on my own. I don't understand this superhero-ing stuff yet... So thank you."

"Wait- what do you mean I helped?"

"He came home that night, apologized for worrying me and the last few nights he's come home on time. What'd you say to him? I couldn't get through to him the other day."

"I dunno, I just... sat down with him and talked about it, I guess. Told him why he needs to be home on time," he mutters, feeling quite unsure of himself. He's not used to that feeling but it tends to make itself known more often lately.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he doesn't know how to take care of a kid. Let alone a super powered one. God.

May thanks him again before they hang up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter had been over at Tony's the past few hours, and it didn't take a genius to see that the kid was sleep deprived as all hell. Tony had seen it happening in his peripheral vision- him nodding off. His head had tipped forward lazily and for a moment, he thought he was about to take a nose dive to the table. Though, he caught himself before his face could make contact with his stack of papers.

Tony was quick to send him home, but then, he saw the suit was active and honestly, he was a little pissed at the very obvious intention of Peter doing the exact opposite of what his mentor had told him to do. As far as Tony knew, go home and sleep did not mean go out patrolling.

He tried calling through the suit but Peter had immediately declined it.

So yeah, he was a little more pissed now.

FRIDAY's voice rings out into the lab.
"Sir, May Parker is calling you."

He'd be lying if he said his heart didn't race a little. It's a habit for his mind to go to the worst case scenario. He imagined Peter coming through the window bloody and bruised. Or worse, she's calling to tell him he hadn't come home at all.

"May," Tony says, surprised. "I was just about to call you."

She sighs in her exhaustion. "He isn't sleeping?"

He could've laughed.
"Doesn't look like it."

"It's really noticeable."

Tony sighs, "Did he come home from patrol yet?"

"Yeah, a few minutes ago. Was he like this at the tower today?"

"Yep. May, I sent him home to go to bed early, not patrol for the next three and a half hours. He declined my call. My. Call."

May cackles as if it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard. "Maybe the ego check was good for you."

"I disagree," he mutters, "So, what do we do?"

Tony almost takes back the 'we.' He grimaces, expecting the woman to correct the statement and say that this isn't his place. He'd agree with her, of course.

"I'll have a talk with him tonight. I just wanted to know if I was imagining it. If you want, maybe text Peter so we're both on his ass about it- I mean, he listened to you last time."

The mechanic remains unsure, "Did he?"

"He comes home on time most nights. And he didn't come home past curfew tonight, he just seems really exhausted. That's... better than before. You really are good with him. He's probably just been staying up for exams. At least that's more normal than fighting supervillains all night..."

"What happened to my ego check?"

"Goodbye Tony," she says, the roll of her eye evident in her tone. "Text him if you want. Thank you. For answering."

Click.

PETER

Tony: I have a bone to pick with you, Parker
Peter: I didn't mean to
Tony: What do you mean you didn't mean to
Tony: Go home does NOT mean go patrolling for the next few hours. You need sleep.  You were passing out in the lab. That's literally a safety hazard.
Peter: I heard someone screaming when I was about to go inside. I couldn't just ignore it.

Shit.

Tony let's his face drop in his hands and groans.

Mentoring a kid-superhero is hard. Especially one with a guilt complex.

He can't chew him out for helping people...

Tony: Yeah. Yeah, ok I get that.
Peter: And then stuff just kept happening. I really didn't mean to stay out so long
Tony: I get it Pete. Sorry for freaking out on you without asking before. I just worry about you, kid.
Peter: I know
Tony: lemme tell your aunt to not yell at you brb
Peter: huh?? Are you guys tag teaming or smth??
Tony: Yep, we're best friends now.
Tony: That was a lie I think she tolorates me at best
Tony: but it's an improvement
Peter: thank god, it was really awkward working for someone she doesn't like 😭
Peter: no offense
Tony: none taken

MAY

Tony: Ms Parker you no longer have to say anything to your fabulous nephew.
May: did something happen?
Tony: He meant well. His super-hearing picked up on something going down before he went inside and he felt like he couldn't ignore it. Just make sure he gets to bed tonight.
Tony: He's a good kid, May.
May: I know.

As time goes on, May seems to tolerate him more. They might even be friends. It's nice.

He sees her pretty often now as he starts to take the mentoring more seriously and as he grows to enjoy Peter's company more and more.

He comes over a lot for the internship lab nights, the avengers dinners, and just to hang out at times. Pepper absolutely fell in love with the kid- not that that was surprising. She even started coming around more during the nights of their grouped chaos.

Tony learns that the Parker's both have a sense of humor on them. And the sass that comes out of Peter every once in a while was not in fact the result of Tony's bad influence, but May's. He thinks he'll hold that over her forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony answers the phone to hear a very flustered May Parker.

"I need you to pick Peter up," she says, sounding out of breath. "I thought I could get out on time but they said they're low on staff tonight and need me to-"

"Hey. It's fine, I'll leave now," he says gently, hoping she'll calm down. He tucks the phone between his shoulder and his ear, grabbing his keys off the counter.

"It's not fine, i'm never home," she stresses, "I'm supposed to be there for him as his parent but I've barely been able to have a full conversation with him. He's probably lonely too because Ned's been out of town and he's too nervous to ask MJ to hang out."

"I get it, I'm sure he'll be happy to hang out with the team."

"Thank you Tony," she sighs shakily, as if he'd just taken a huge load off her shoulders. "I'm sorry i've asked so much of you. You didn't ask for this."

"May you know I'd do anything for you guys. I love the kid- Pep does too. If we can take any stress off you at all we're happy to do so. I'm sorry they've been working you so much."

The line is silent for a moment. She sniffs,
"I know. It's fine, I need the money anyway."

"You know I'd help with that, right? All you have to do is ask."

"Thank you but no. I love my job I'm just.. I dunno."

Tony slides into his car,
"Sleep deprived?"

"Yes."

Tony's brows furrow at her voice cracking. This whole thing reminds him of Peter, who also loves his job but it can become very time consuming.

"You know, I think if you looked that up in a dictionary, there'd be a picture of me."

"Probably," She laughs quietly before pausing.
"..Thank you."

"Anytime."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May: Tony I'm freaking out. I just got home from a late shift, Peter isn't here and he isn't answering my calls.
Tony: tracking him now.

Tony: Rough patrol. Staying at mine tonight. He's ok

May: Oh thank god. He's not hurt?
Tony: Nope he's all good now. I don't think he's up for school though. Could you call him out?
May: On it.
Tony: Thank you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tony."

"Hey May."

She sounds nervous. He almost asks if she's ok but she lets out a stressed sigh and beats him to it.

"I'm going to ask a favor and you can say no."

"Ok..? Is everything alright?"

"Kind of?"

"You're making me nervous, May."

"Would you go to a parent-teacher conference? I can't make it. I- I feel awful I can't but everything's just so busy here and-"

"Wha- yeah of course I'll go. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? You don't mind?"

"Of course not. You're busy, I get it. This kind of stuff happens I wouldn't stress about it."

She huffs out a short breath.
"I hate that I'm not reliable for these things. I wanted to be there. You think Peter will be mad?"

"C'mon, May you know him. He'd never be mad at you. I'll let you know how it goes."

And it was true- Peter didn't mind. He was most likely overjoyed that May wasn't there because this whole thing was about one of his grades dropping over the last few weeks. He'd been embarrassed that Tony was there too, so he's sure it didn't matter who was there.

He's about to select May's contact before he pulls out of the small parking spot.

"Wait what are you doing," Peter asks, his voice going up a few octaves in his anxiety.

"Um," he pauses looking down at his phone then back up at the kid. "Calling your aunt?"

"Don't do that. Don't- wait-"
Tony laughs when he reaches for his phone because he'd never seen him so desperate to get something from him. (Actually, there was that time when Tony had tried to read the texts between him and his little crush. He hadn't succeeded. He'd also gotten a web to the face.)

"Parker, It's not like I'm calling her to yell at you I'm just letting her know how it went. It's not a big deal."

"Yeah but my grade went down and I told her it wouldn't- what if she tells me I can't go patrolling anymore?"

"Worst case she tells you to take a few days off- which isn't a bad idea. She knows what it was like to be in high school. Grades go down sometimes."

Peter shrinks in his seat, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie.
"Yeah but I'm supposed to be like, good at school. It's my thing."

"And it's still your thing. You also have tons of other things on your plate and she knows that. We both know you'll get it up if you just do the damn work. You should've seen my grades my freshmen year in college. My dad almost disowned me."

"What'd you get, a B-?" He jokes, rolling his eyes.

"Actually yeah but my dad was fucking crazy so-"

"My god."

"But," he says, "the difference between you and I is I was brought up by a lunatic, and you are being brought up by a great Aunt who loves you very much and only wants the best for you, and a mentor who's only flaw is a caffeine addiction."

"Only?"

"Can it- anyway, neither of us want you to have that grade, so we're going to fix it the normal, healthy way where no one looses their shit over things that can be fixed."

Peter pauses, before letting out a sigh.
"Thanks Tony."

"Please let me call your aunt now."

He throws his head back in classic teenager fashion and slumps over towards the window.
"Fine."

"Drama queen," Tony mutters amusedly as he clicks the call button. "Ms. Parker your nephew is dramatic as all hell."

"Tell me about it."

Peter raises a brow,
"Do you guys usually gossip about me?"

"Yep, you're our favorite conversation topic."

"So how'd it go?"

"Grade went down a few letter grades in AP Chem."

"Chem??"

"That's what I said. His teacher was just concerned and now, we're driving back to the tower so we can get his missing work sorted. I'm not too worried."

When Tony glances at Peter, he looks like he's going to cry.

"May, tell Peter it'll be ok he's freaking out."

"Wha- Tony," he snaps.

"Honey I'm not mad. Tony said he's gonna help you fix it and he hasn't let us down yet. I trust him."

"Ok," he murmurs.

"Thank you for doing this Tony it means a lot. And Peter, baby I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's ok, you were at work."

"I know but it's not fair to you that I haven't been around. I'm taking tomorrow off so we can watch a bunch of cheesy reality tv shows, ok?"

Tony feels his heart melt when Peter finally cracks a smile, not looking up from his fidgeting hands.
"Ok."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May: [Spider-man saves young boy from fire]
May: Ugh I'm so proud of him.
Tony: I just saw that. He's doing fantastic in training too.
May: good 😊
Tony: He's a great kid May. You've done good with him.
May: I think you deserve some credit too, Tony. You're a good influence.

Tony blinks at his phone. No one had ever told him that before.

"Tony? Are you ok?"

He looks over at Pep, who sets her book down and stares at him with her brows furrowed. He grins at her and leans forward to kiss her cheek.

"Yeah. I'm good. Look," he says, pulling up the article.

She's smiling as she reads through it.
"He's doing good. Really good."

"Yeah. He is."

Ding.

Peter: YOU AND MAY ARE TEXTING ABOUT ME AGAIN

Tony and Pepper laugh.

Tony: I told you. You're our favorite topic of conversation.
Peter: y'all are embarrassing fr
Tony: wtf does fr mean
Peter: Stop reminding me you're old
Tony: I'm NOT old. If I was, you'd probably be treating me with respect, you hooligan.
Peter: First of all u just sent me a text with all punctuation. Old. Also U JUST CALLED ME A HOOLIGAN
Tony: Don't U have a 🛏 ⏰ ?? Go 2 sleep.
Peter: you're trying too hard
Peter: and it's literally 8
Tony: good night. Oh, and nice job today. Everyone's proud AF
Peter: STOP

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tony."

"What'd he do?"
Tony relaxes into the couch, grinning as May laughs. Pepper's head rests on his shoulder. He kisses her temple.

"Nothing. For now."

In the background, he hears Peter shout in protest, followed by him vocalizing his decision to wait in his room as they have their '0ld lady gossip sesh.'

Tony huffs out a quiet chuckle.
"What's going on with you guys?"

"I got off work a few hours ago- we just got back with Thai. But I did call for a reason. Peter and I want you to come for dinner Friday. And bring Pep."

"Oh yeah, of course. What's the occasion?"

"I wanted to thank you and Pepper for all you do for us. And you've done a lot."

"May, you don't need to thank us. We love the kid."

"I know, but it means a lot to me that you've been so willing to help out. He's been so much happier lately and that's thanks to you."

"May," he whispers. He doesn't really know what to say. This past year, things had changed a lot, and for the better. Pep says so constantly and he can't help but believe her. He'd been happier himself.

"I'll see you two Friday. I'll make an effort not to burn the apartment down."

He blinks. He hopes the stories he'd heard from Peter about the neighbors hating them and the countless 'sorry for setting off the fire alarm again' gift baskets had been an exaggeration, but he's not so sure at this point.

"Was that May," Pepper murmurs.

Tony pulls her closer and sighs into her hair with content.
"Yeah. She invited us over for dinner this Friday."

She smiles.
"Aw, that was nice."

"Yeah. We might have to bring a backup dish though."

"Oh. Peter mentioned that."

Tony begins to laugh, and it seems his joy had been contagious because his fiancé follows suit.
"There's always something with the Parkers," he says. "I love 'em."

And he really means that.