chapter vi.
( pre-iron man )

although  you   know the
snow   will follow   deep
in december, it's nice
to remember without a
hurt, the heart is hollow
try to remember ─── the fantasticks

stark manor
december 16, 1999
( one year later )

My three year old feet pattered down the hall and into the living room where the majority of my family was. Grandma was at the piano, lightly pressing down on the black and white keys. When she saw me standing in the doorway, she gave a smile and a wave. My new habit was putting the four fingers of my right hand into my mouth and my left hand was preoccupied with the glass of chocolate milk that Jarvis just got for me. With that being said, I had to pull my right hand out of my mouth just enough to give a short wave back before my attention was caught by someone else. A long body was stretched out on the couch and was covered in tousled blankets. One deep red blanket laid over the body's face, but I knew exactly who it was.

Daddy.

I tripped over the blocks and barbies I had laid out on the floor as I made my way over to my sleeping father. He didn't stir even when I finally reached him. I moved my glass of chocolate milk over to my right hand. Then the dry hand, the one that had not been in my mouth only seconds before, tried to carefully lift the blanket up so I could see his face. His soft, big eyes were closed and his lips were parted slightly. He was out-cold. I giggled when I heard him softly snore. I rested my chin on the couch cushion beside his cheek and blinked at his still unwaking face.

It was about a week and a half until Christmas and I was excited for my second one spent with Dad, Grandma, and Howard. Rhodey, Pepper, Jarvis, and Happy wanted to try to make it, but Howard didn't love our Christmas not just being the family. He didn't understand that these four other people were my family. They loved me and were always there for me so it was strange not having them around on what was such a special day. Dad and I had just gotten back from a four month trip in England where he was taking a few extra classes. Howard and Grandma had tried to talk him out of taking me with him and instead just leaving me there with them, but Dad just laughed. Grandma understood. Howard didn't.

Eventually, I grew tired of simply watching him sleep. I turned and quickly plopped down onto the carpet between the piano and the couch. I once again had most of my right hand in my mouth as I made the few barbies around me fold into sitting positions. Then I worked on stacking ten blue blocks on top of each other so that they'd form a tall tower. I tried to reach forward for the far yellow block, but my soft, chubby arm bumped into my newly formed tower. Blocks tumbled all over the floor and I tore my hand from my mouth, slapping it against my forehead as I had seen Pepper do whenever something had gone wrong. I let out a small squeal of frustration before angrily snatching the yellow block. I used both hands to pile up the blocks once more.

Grandma played a soft, sweet song at the piano as her voice gently began to sing, "Try to remember the kind of September. When grass was green,"

Howard quickly stepped into the living room and pulled the blanket up off of Dad's face. He stared down at his stirring son with a slight disapproving expression before dropping the red material back down.

"Wake up, Dear, and say goodbye to your father," Grandma called to Dad as she continued to play the keys.

Dad sniffed and threw the blanket off of his head. He blinked tiredly as he slowly sat up, gazing around the room. He was wearing one of those funny little Santa caps on his head and no one was quite sure why, but he was wearing it all the same.

"Who's the homeless person on the couch?" Howard asked, fixing his suit jacket.

Dad gave a quiet laugh that almost mirrored a scoff as he rolled off of the couch and moved to his feet slowly. I looked up from my blocks and a wide grin overcame my face when I saw that he was actually awake now.

He moved his hands out towards Howard, "This is why I love coming home for Christmas," he then added with a smug, bitter smile, "right before you leave town."

Howard raised his eyebrows at his son.

"Be nice, Dear, he's been studying abroad," Grandma softly called, closing her eyes in hopes that her boys wouldn't start arguing again.

"Really? Which broad? What's her name?"

I had no idea what the word "broad" meant in that context, but I didn't really care because Howard took off Dad's Santa cap and distractedly tossed it down to me. I cheered a little, but Dad seemed pretty irritated with Howard.

"Candice," Dad made a face about his father before crouching down beside me and helping me put the cap on my head.

"Thank you, Daddy," I mumbled as sweetly as I could although my words were pretty distorted by the fingers in my mouth.

Dad smirked as he gently tugged at the edges of the cap, settling it down over my ears. I tilted my chin up to him and gave him a wide, slobbery smile. He lightly pinched my cheeks that had become pretty chubby within the last year of him shoving candy and other food down my throat.

"Do me a favor?" Howard spoke up and I saw Dad's jaw clench, "Try not to burn the house down before Monday."

Dad stood up and nodded, speaking sarcastically, "Okay, so it's Monday. That is good to know. I will plan my toga party accordingly," he moved to stand behind Grandma and slid his hands in his pockets, "Where you going again?"

"Your father's flying Lisa and me to the Bahamas," Grandma answered with a small smile, "for a little getaway."

I was so excited for the Bahamas trip. I had naturally never been and Dad had told me that it was gorgeous when he was tucking me in a few days before. We were only going to be gone for a couple days and then we'd be back to celebrate Christmas together.

"We might have to make a quick stop."

"At the Pentagon," Dad said quickly before turning to Howard, "Right?"

Howard looked down in acknowledgement.

Dad's tone got a little higher as he leaned towards his mother, "Don't worry, you're gonna love the holiday menu at the commissary."

I laughed at his tone, even though I didn't really understand what he meant. "Commissary" was a new word for me. I needed to learn that one. Dad smiled a little bit bigger as he glanced at me before remembering Howard standing next to him. His smile dropped and he moved away, annoyed. 

Howard began lecturing again, "You know, they say sarcasm is a metric for potential. If that's true, you'll be a great man some day."

Dad stepped to the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest, scowling back at his father.

"I'll get the bags," Howard told Grandma quietly.

There was a long silence after he left. I stared at Dad with a serious expression. I was glad that my relationship with him was very different than it was between him and Howard. Howard was cold and distant and Dad was bitter and angry. Grandma didn't say anything for a long moment and her fingers pulled away from the keys.

When she did speak, she looked over at him and softly said, "He does miss you when you're not here."

"Please, he misses the thought of me," Dad snapped, "and he's missed that pretty little dream since I was born."

Grandma's eyes fell down at her hands, "Anthony, I know you don't want to hear it, but maybe if you try a little harder and he tries a little harder, then maybe,"

"No!" Dad interrupted harshly and I jumped at his tone, "You're right! I don't want to hear it! I mean, come on, everybody knows how he feels about me! Why should I put any effort into pleasing someone who always ends up disappointed anyway? He doesn't care about me, so why should I care about him?"

That wasn't true. At least, I didn't think so. Not really. Grandma seemed confident in the knowledge that it wasn't, but what we thought or knew didn't matter. All that mattered was how Dad saw it and I wasn't sure if Dad really thought it wasn't true or not. I knew that Grandma just wished that we could be what the reporters portrayed on the TV. One big happy family. But we weren't. We never were.

She kept trying, "Sweetheart, please, try to fix it before it's too late. Your father is getting older now and, as much as you say that Starks are immortal, he's not. He won't live forever, Anthony, one day he will pass away."

"Couldn't be soon enough," Dad mumbled.

I looked back to the blocks, not liking the words coming out of my daddy's mouth.

Grandma blinked away her tears as she gave a small nod, "Okay."

Howard walked back in with our bags and stared blankly at his son, trying not to show his irritation, "Watch the house until I get back."

"Mmm," was all Tony said back, not even looking in our direction.

"Come on, Darling," Howard waited for Grandma to stand.

She did with a quiet sigh and then she bent to where I was sitting. I spread out my arms and, when she lifted me up, Grandma held me tightly against her hip. She carried me over to Dad who finally looked at us. Dad smiled a little when he saw me. I pulled at the cap so that it was even further down my ears and then I gave a smile full of baby-teeth.

"Bye, Daddy," I touched my dry hand to his lips and turned them up into a bigger smile, "I love you."

He pressed a kiss to my cheek and I giggled, poking at his nose and making him laugh. Then he planted his lips against my hand and blowed hard, creating a noise that made me giggle harder. Howard rolled his eyes at his son's childish antics. Dad sent a brief but dark look towards him before once more adjusting my new cap.

"Bye, Smalls, have fun," he told me before pointing a finger at me, "Make sure you call me every night, okay?"

Pointing a finger back, I nodded and leaned to kiss his twenty-one year old face, "Okay."

Grandma leaned in to give a light kiss of her own on his smooth cheek.

"See ya soon, Mom," he gave a small nod.

She smiled a little and touched his face, trailing her hand from his cheek to his chin, "I love you, Anthony."

"Love you too," he nodded, forcing a smile.

Grandma turned to leave and I shouted over her shoulder, "I love you, Daddy!"

Howard passed Dad without a second glance.

I chatted happily in the back of my grandparents' car. I was strapped securely in my car seat as Howard drove us along the secluded roads. I loved looking out the windows as the trees rolled by and the dark sky hovered above. I kept poking a pale finger at the glass, speaking all sorts of nonsense that my grandparents didn't understand. Occasionally, I would say a word that they could get and they would just agree with whatever it was I was meaning.

That was my struggle those days. I had lots of advanced thoughts and ideas which Dad said was because I was his kid. The application of those advanced thoughts was the problem really, which was what Howard argued made me Dad's kid more than anything. I didn't realize until I was older that this was an insult. Getting my thoughts across was difficult because, when I tried, they got all jumbled and confused. Sometimes I would use the wrong word or mispronounce it, but I didn't mind too much anyway. I just liked hearing my voice after going for so long in only silence.

"Tree, Grandma, and then that tree," I pointed again, "But Daddy doesn't want to be bobbled,"

Grandma laughed as Howard made a confused face.

"What are you trying to say, Lisa?" Grandma glanced at me through the rear view mirror as I clapped my hands together.

"Bobbled, Grandma! In there!"

"Oh, okay," she laughed again.

Howard's brows raised and then furrowed as he still couldn't figure out what in the world I was saying, "God, this kid is odd. I don't remember Tony being that confusing."

Grandma smiled fondly, "He most certainly was. He kept going on and on about 'paizzi' and 'washcough'. To this day, I still can't figure out what he was trying to say."

Howard shook his head, but didn't say anything.

"Don't worry; she'll start making much more sense soon if she's anything like Anthony. By the time he was four, he was already explaining to me the different types of wires, circuits, and currents."

I couldn't help but wonder if Howard wanted me to be "anything like Anthony". I thought he probably loved Dad, but he was still incredibly hard on him. I wondered later if he was so hard on him because he had a lot of faith in him. Maybe he knew what Dad could do and that's why he pushed. Or maybe he was just a jerk. I didn't know.

I began to feel sleepy as the car continued to drive through the dark forest on the country dirt road. My hands were just rubbing my eyes when I heard a strange noise behind me. I sat up a little straighter and peered back through my window, trying to see what made the sound.

A motorcycle with a darkly dressed man sped up behind us and then began to veer towards our car. The man harshly hit at the window with a deathly scowl on his face, making the car rattle and twist sharply. Howard tried desperately to move the car out of the way and soon he was losing control of the steering-wheel.

For some reason, I looked at the car's clock.

It was 7:01 p.m.

"Howard!" Grandma called out in a panic and I squeezed my eyes closed.

The car smashed hard into a large tree and all of our bodies jolted forward.

I let out a cry of pain as the straps of my car seat dug into my soft flesh and the plastic tore at my skin. I was leaning forward when I opened my eyes and I saw that I was practically hanging off of the seat. The front of the car was crumpled in and was burning with a hot yellow fire. I blinked with wide eyes, still in shock.

When I heard low moaning from the front of the car, I called, "Grandma? Howard?"

"L-Lisa," Grandma mumbled quietly from the seat in front of me.

"Grandma?" I pressed my shaking hands against the back of the headrest, "Grandma! Howard!"

Howard began to shift, but his movements were slow and nearly mechanical. I heard the sound of the engine again and I watched out my window as the darkly dressed man pulled his motorcycle around the side of the car. Howard threw open the car door and fell out of his seat, trying to get around to the other side of car so that he could help us. I watched hopefully as the darkly dressed man got off of his motorcycle and moved towards my weak grandfather. Maybe he would help us. He had to help us. He would, wouldn't he?

Howard quietly begged, "Help my granddaughter a-and my wife. Please. Help."

My eyes widened as the man grabbed onto my grandfather's white hair and yanked him up to his knees. Howard's hand reached back to where the man's hand grabbed him and his dark eyes flickered up to meet our attacker's face.

"Sergeant Barnes?" I heard Howard call the man, pleadingly.

The man stilled for a just a moment.

Grandma weakly cried out, "Howard!"

I began screaming when what looked like a metal hand crushed into Howard's face.

Once.

Twice.

"Howard!" Grandma screamed.

Then Howard fell face-first into the dirt and grass, unmoving.

"Grandpa! Grandpa!" my voice was strained and nearly incoherent through the rivers of tears that flowed down my bloodied cheeks.

The man grabbed onto Howard's limp body and dragged him back to the car. I desperately pushed myself back from the man as he reached in and set Howard back into his seat. His body slumped forward and I screamed.

"Oh, Howard," Grandma cried faintly.

The man slowly made his way around to the other side of the car and I couldn't stop the screams still erupting from my lungs.

"Don't hurt her," Grandma was struggling to speak, "Please, oh, please,"

The man's bare hand clasped around her throat and he began to squeeze.

I screamed over and over again as I listened to her suffocate. And then all low sounds of gasping died down and somehow I knew that my grandmother died along with them. The metal hand crashed suddenly through my window. I shrieked as glass shot towards me and then a glittering hand stretched out towards me. I trembled as I looked up at the man who murdered my grandparents and who was about to murder me.

"Daddy!" I screamed in fear, "Daddy! Daddy!"

I wasn't sure why I screamed for my father as the metal fingers curled around my small throat. I knew that Dad couldn't help me, but I guess it was just because I wanted him. I wanted to see him. I wanted him to hold me. I just wanted Tony.

I slowly stopped screaming, but it wasn't because the man was strangling me. His fingers hadn't even tightened. My blue eyes met his ocean ones and neither of us moved. The man's face kept twitching with flashes of confused and pained emotion and between these flashes I saw the man who murdered my grandparents. But someone else was inside his head and he was trying to make the murderer stop.

My pink lips opened a little so that I could whisper, "Why?"

I was confused and I was scared. There wasn't any condemnation or judgement in my voice. I just didn't understand and I wanted to know. Maybe the man inside his head wouldn't be able to stop him and maybe the murderer would kill me. If I was going to stop breathing like Grandma and Howard did, then I wanted to know the reason for it. The man's face flashed fearfully and his eyes flooded with tears.

His voice trembled as he said, "I-I don't know."

Neither did I.

I nodded a little and then I closed my eyes. Pepper always said to close my eyes if I was scared so I listened. I didn't want to see. My tears kept making small noises as they fell against the man's metal wrist.

Clink.

Clink.

Clink.

The cold fingers around my neck suddenly squeezed and I gasped sharply, crying out. Then the hand pulled away altogether. My eyes opened, but I didn't dare look in the man's direction. He moved to the trunk of the car and removed something, but I still couldn't make myself glance back. I could hear his feet crunching against the dead leaves, moving away from my now broken window. I blinked hard, looking around to the front of the car. Howard's head was leaning against the steering-wheel and blood was streaked down the side of his face. Grandma's shoulders were not in their usual straight and proper position, but they were slumped as her head fell to the side. The fire still blazed on the front of the car and the world rung in my ears.

"Grandma?" I gently poked at her shoulder.

I could hear the man's feet come to a stop as I began to speak.

"Grandma?" I called out hoarsely, "Please wake up, Grandma. Please hold me. Grandma? Grandpa?"

I started gasping for air and the tears came again. My hands went up to shield my eyes so I wouldn't have to see it anymore. The man's feet picked up their pace to get away. I didn't open my eyes, even when I heard the motorcycle's engine start up again. The darkly dressed man with the metal arm disappeared.

And I would not think about or even remember him again.

Not for a very long time.

Wowza, so dark though. A lot of my writing can be kinda dark sometimes. So, hopefully, you're not upset or anything. And yes, that was exactly who you thought it was. And yes, it will be brought up later, so keep this in mind, Folks. Also, I decided to keep Lisa and Tony pretty close as the future comes, but do you prefer stories when they're distant at first? I like it both ways, I think. Major time jump next chapter! Please, comment, follow, vote, you know!

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