i guess someone 

held my hand

 today as i walked through the park. i think they told me it would be okay. 

 i  wish i could hear 

that voice 

again, 

it calmed me yet

 i couldn't bring myself to look at it, fear that what she saw in my eyes would make her run away. yes, it was a

child i think

i think she kissed my palms the next day and made me smile but then 

i remembered all the shit i did and how smiles

i did not deserve to have those

why hadn't you swallowed me yet, you sadist pig?

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