IRIS
OCTOBER 18TH, 1999

      I THINK JOEY IS AVOIDING ME. I'm not sure why. I hadn't done anything wrong—to my knowledge, at least.

I have tried to talk to him many times since the first day, but most times, if he wasn't spacing out, he was running away.

Rex said that maybe he's been acting weird because he's been going through a lot at home. He said that Darren—Joeys oldest brother—had ran away without even leaving a letter or his number.

I understand if Joey is going through something, but I don't understand why that means he has to avoid me. I'm not Darren, I didn't leave him. I'm actually fighting with all my power to not leave him even though he seems to be trying to make me.

It's like I'm trying to swim up a river to where Joey is, but the current is stronger than I am, so no matter how good I think I am at swimming, I'm just not strong enough to push through it.

He has come over to my house twice since the first day of school and neither times did he wave to me, or even smile.

The current had pushed me back so far that I'm back to square one—no, more like square negative one, 'cause Joey had always said 'hi' to me. There was never a time where he would just completely ignore my existence like he is now.

I've also noticed that he's been hanging out with Shane Holland a lot lately.

And I knew what that meant.

I could see it. Every time he's late to class, I can tell he's high just by looking into his eyes.

He wasn't Joey anymore—at least, not my Joey.

The Joey who was nice to me, the one who always smiled at me anytime he saw me, the one who would help me with my homework when it confused me, the one who carried my bike home.

He was gone.

And I wanted him back.

AUTHOR TALKS!!
Iris: grieving her best friend and wondering why he doesn't talk to her anymore.
Joey: survive.