A loud knock on his door made him jump in his bed. He looked at the time on his phone: it was still 6AM. His alarm would go off not before two hours. He sat still, waiting. Maybe he just dreamed it, he was about to go back to sleep when the same loud knock was heard once again. What the fuck? He tought as he stood up, wobbling to the door. It's too early...

He didn't even ask but just opened the door revealing, to his surprise, a half sleepy Hongjoong still wearing his pajama, looking straight at him with fierce eyes.

"If you had a nightmare go cuddle with Seonghwa and let me sleep, hyung!" San didn't even greet him but cut it short.

He was about to close the door but Hongjoong stopped him, his movements fast and completly awake despite his puffy eyes, "Yah! I came to wake you up, not to cuddle, you dumbass!" he whispered-shouted.

"Wake me up? It's fucking six in the morning, we won't be at the office before nine!" he complained.

"We're not skipping breakfast this morning, all right? Not a chance. I'm not gonna stand his disappointed glare anymore, so -" he pushed the door open walking inside San's room, "Now you go take a shower, I'll pick your clothes for you!"

San just pouted and followed Hongjoong inside, grumbling silently "The things you do for love..." but he didn't complain much, taking a clean towel and walking to the bathroom.

⋆｡˚☽

Wooyoung was a light sleeper and he had never been more thankful for it when loud bangs on the next door woke him up from his dream. Heavy breath and sweated he blinked his eyes couple of times before realizing where he was. The comfortable white room was starting to enlighten with the rising sun raylights coming in from the open shutters.

It was just a dream. I'm safe here. He whispered to himself, his body still rigid under the weight of the nightmare. He could still feel them. Those hands. Lingering on his body. Holding him still, unable to escape from the burning pain. Touching. Violating. He shivered under the blankets, still unable to move. He hugged his knees to his chest trying to push that horrible feeling away but it was getting worse. The pain was there, burning through his skin, every second deeper, suffocating. He felt sully, ruined, broken in his every part.

"No more, p-please. I-I want this no more" he whispered in hiccups, trying to push all the bad memories away, back where they belonged. And then he heard them again, the loud knocks.

He tried his best to focus on the noises he could hear from the next room, a door opening, silent sleepy whispers, feet moving, more whispers. His body felt heavy, but focusing on the outside noises he could finally move, snap out of the slump that was swallowing him whole. Blankets off, feet on the cold floor, he felt he could breath again, the chilly temperature helping him to feel better.

"I'm safe here. I can do this" he repeated as to ground himself even more as he went on, trying to build a routine of some sort.

Undress, turn on the shower, hot water on the skin, get dry, dress again. And now? The whispers were gone, the silence filling the spaces. It was still early but he decided to try his luck: maybe Seonghwa-hyung is up, he thought as he exited his room not before checking the long corridor to confirm it empty and silent. He left his room: the more he got close to the kitchen the more lively the house felt. He could hear soft noises coming from behind the closed door, he knocked on the wooden surface a couple of times before he opened it silently.

Seonghwa was there, black button up shirt tucked inside black skinny trousers and a white, super cute, maid apron to protect his elegant outfit as he was chopping the breakfast ingredients. Wooyoung couldn't help but smile at that funny view and approached the older who had turned to face him.

"Wooyoung-ah, why up so early? Breakfast isn't ready yet" he said smiling.

Wooyoung was about to tell Seonghwa about the nightmare he just had but thought better to keep it to himself, he didn't want to annoy the other first thing in the morning, "I'm an early bird" he just said approaching the stove where a pajeon was browining, "Can I help you?" he asked tentively.

"If you promise me to be extra careful and not cut yourself or burn down the kitchen I might need a sous-chef" he joked, "Can you cook?" he asked then.

A sudden unexpected memory flashed through Wooyoung's mind. He was still a kid when with his mother kneaded for the first time the rice cakes for all the family. He remembered the sticky feeling on his fingers as he mixed the rice flower with the water. The ghost of a smile appered on his lips. It had happened so many years before that bloodbath that had changed his life forever.

"I haven't done it in a while, but I think I can manage" he answered pushing all the memories back, far away where they couldn't hurt him.

Seonghwa probably trusted him enough because soon Wooyoung was dressed in a similar black apron tied around his waist getting all the ingredients ready for cooking more pancakes. Luckily everything went smoothly - except for when he used salt instead of the sugar and when he accidentaly hit a glass full of chilli peppers making it crush on the floor - but he didn't cut himself and he didn't burn down the kitchen so he was pretty happy with the results. Seonghwa tried the pajeon and hummed surprised.

"They're very good Woo, you did a great job!" he patted the younger on his shoulder who smiled proud, he had finally found something he was good at, maybe a bit messy but at list he could prepare tasty food.

"I'll be happy to help you again hyung, I like to cook!" he exclaimed.

⋆｡˚☽

"Yah! Stop pushing me! We aren't late, hyung" exclimed San slapping away Hongjoong's hand who was trying to make him run down the corridor to get to the dining room.

"We have just half an hour, we are late, San-ah! How could you be so slow to get ready? You'd been in the bathroom for one fucking hour and we just need to go to the office, not to a fucking gala! If Seonghwa gets mad at -" Hongjoong suddenly stopped, eyes blowing wide while he stood in front of the closed door. San stopped too caught off guard when he heard the loud, almost annoying laugh coming from the dining room.

"Did we adopt Elmo and I didn't know?" whispered Hongjoong looking at San with confused eyes.

San didn't answer and carefully opened the door: no Muppets in sight, what he saw was Seonghwa setting the table with Wooyoung. And Wooyoung was laughing. San just stood there, silently, mouth agape, taking in the sight: he was gorgeous, his face so radiant with that wide, unusual smile. But it didn't last long, his presence was soon noticed and Wooyoung mood shifted rapidly going back to the sad, shy boy. He bowed deeply greeting San and Hongjoong good morning before going back to the kitchen to prepare more coffee.

"What a mirage to have you for breakfast!" thick sarcasm could be heard in Seonghwa voice, but Hongjoong preferred to ignore it approaching the older with a smile.

"The food looks amazing as always, Hwa! Thank you for your work" he left a quick kiss on the pink haired boy's cheek who couldn't help but blush a bit, smoothing his edges just a bit before realising they had an audience. San was looking at them with awareness, a teasing smile cracking his lips. Seonghwa moved away starting to fill the plates with way too much food trying to hide his evident flushed look.

"Wooyoung helped a lot, he's very good in the kitchen, so you'll have to thank him too" he mumbled.

"Surprising! Maybe you didn't waste all our money after all, San-ah!"

"Talking about money..." Seonghwa added before San could say a word, "We have to buy a new washing machine"

Hongjoong almost fell from his chair, jaw dropped, eyes blowing out of his skull. Wooyoung decided to walk back to the room just in that moment, his body getting terribly tense when he heard Hongjoong scream: "What happened to the washing machine? It was a very expensive model, how could you break it?"

Wooyoung just stood there, coffee jar in his hands, head low, ready for Seonghwa to snitch on him, but the older didn't, "You bought it ages ago, don't be so cheap and just order a new one. We would need a bigger one anyways, the last one was too small for four people"

Hongjoong could just give up, sighting in resignation, "Fine! I'll order it today. Can we just have breakfast now, please? We will have to leave in twenty minutes"

It was awkwardly silent. Wooyoung could feel the tension lingering between them as they ate the food and sipped their coffees. But what made him feel more nervous was San stare. He realised the other tried to not make it so obvious, but still Wooyoung could feel those intense eyes looking at him with insistence. He had realised it when he looked up to fill up his third cup of coffee during that morning: he was about to take the jar when his eyes locked with those of San who immediately looked away embarassed. After that he didn't dare raising his eyes anymore, but still he could feel the other boy staring at him, his gaze piercing holes through Wooyoung's skin. He shifted on his chair, unsure on what to do when the doorbell rang.

"I'll take it!" he almost screamed, startling the others as he jumped up on his chair. He didn't wait for an answer as he rushed to the front door.

"Oh! It's probably the delivery! Hongjoong-ah can you go with Wooyoung, please?" asked Seonghwa.

"Huh? Why?" his mouth full with yet another pancake.

"Yesterday we bought a few clothes for Wooyoung, I choose the pay upon delivery option, so he might need you to pay for -"

"STOP SPENDING MONEY!" Hongjoong almost cried as he stood up and walked the same direction of Wooyoung.

"You two really need a holiday, darling!" whispered Seonghwa to San when Hongjoong wasn't at reach anymore.

San smiled. Okay, now or never, he thought as he kept staring at Seonghwa, "Hyung?" he asked, he could feel his cheeks heat up. Seonghwa looked at him with a puzzled look.

"I was wondering, ehm- I mean, you know, if- Wooyoung..." he sipped his coffee trying to calm his nerves, "How is Wooyoung? Looks like you two have bonded a lot" he could finally say.

Seonghwa smiled and nodded, "We have actually. He just needs time but when he trusts you he really becomes the most caring, lovely person"

"How did you do that? He just looks so scared when I'm around and he can't even look at me in the eyes, I want him to feel comfortable but I really don't know how to approach him. Sometimes I think he hates me, I'm just the man that bought him from that damn auction"

Seonghwa smiled putting a hand on San shoulder, "It's okay, San-ah! I'm sure he doesn't hate you, he's just a bit scared. He didn't tell me much, but I guess his life wasn't easy. He just needs time. Be yourself and maybe try to not push him too much and avoid any physical contact as much as you can, he will approach you when he's ready. You're a good person, Sanie. He will see that too, I'm sure!"

"Thank you, Hwa!" San smiled back before standing up, "I'd better go and check on Hongjoong, make sure he didn't pass out in front of the bill he has to pay. Go easy on him, he really tries his best"

"I know! Sometimes I just wish it was easier, I barely see you at home anymore"

"I'm sorry, but you know I can't help it. If I could I wouldn't allow all this. I don't want this either, but-"

"It's fine San, I'm not blaming you" Seonghwa stopped him, "Just come back for dinner, I don't want you guys to starve yourself"

"We will"

And so the house went back to his silent, calm environment, just the quiet buzzing of the dishwasher could be heard. After they spent the whole morning doing chores and had a quick lunch there wasn't much left to do. Seonghwa had tried to make Wooyoung love his favourite hobby: he was a huge Lego fan, he could spend entire afternoons building small figures out from the tiny bricks but Wooyoung didn't seem to appreciate the activity that much, often getting distracted and not paying much attention on what he was doing. So, when Seonghwa put a new Lego box on the table Wooyoung couldn't help but mumble a whispered: "Hmh, hyung-"

"Go do whatever you want, Wooyoungie. I can do this by myself, don't worry" he smiled, patting the younger's head.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" rosie blooming on his cheeks as he asked.

"I'm sure, you don't have to stick with me all day long if you feel like having some alone time don't worry. I'll call you when dinner's ready, yeah?"

Wooyoung just nodded giving a last toothy smile to Seonghwa before he walked away. Tones on boxes were waiting for him to open them and place the new clothes in the still empty closet but for some reason his feet led him to another room. Almost unconsciously he found himself in front of the huge painting once again. Wooyoung sat on the floor and let his imagination do its thing taking him far away where a gentle breeze ruffled his hair and a flowery smell filled up his lungs.

⋆｡˚☽

It was incredibly easy to convince Hongjoong to end their day before the sun had set. Usually the older would pester him about all the backlog they had to catch up with but that day it looked like he was also eager to go back home. San suspected that Seonghwa had something to do with it but didn't question the older about his decision and just went with the flow, packing his briefcase and marching to the car.

When they arrived the house was weirdly silent. The kitchen was empty with just a few bowls on the counter that were probably the ingredients for their dinner still to make. After a while San could ear voices coming from the living room. Hongjoong had found Seonghwa and was now sitting on the floor next to him helping the older with his Legos. No Wooyoung in sight.

"Welcome back home to you too, darling" Seonghwa smiled to him, unusually happy.

San wanted to know where Wooyoung was, he really hoped he wasn't in his room. The last time he tried to approach him there it didn't go too well and it felt weird to go and knock on that door once again. He opened his mouth to ask Seonghwa but he probably understood and without giving him time to formulate a question he said:

"Check the museum. He likes that room, I'm pretty sure you'll find him there. Dinner will be ready in one hour, don't be late" and without any further comment he focused back again on his game.

The museum. San loved that room too, it was the one he was more proud of. To know that it was Wooyoung's favourite too made San smile. As always the room was still so bright even in just the sun set light. San had a look around trying to find Wooyoung's figure between the tall statues, but he couldn't see him. He was about to turn and leave when he heard a soft sight coming from the very end of the room. He walked silently to where the noise came from and there he was. Sitting on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest, he looked so small compared to everything else in that room.

San coughed trying to make Wooyoung notice him but the boy didn't hear him, his eyes still fixed on the van Gogh painting in front of him. He looked like bewitched by the colors, unable to look away. San took a few steps to where the younger was, he didn't talk but just sat down on the floor mimicking Wooyoung but keeping a certain distance. He smiled noticing that Wooyoung still hadn't noticed him. San gaze turned to look back at the painting: it was really beautiful, it was just a pity that...

"It's not the original one" he just said out loud.

Wooyoung got scared by the sudden voice and when he noticed San sitting not too far away he moved as he was about to leave. San noticed it too because he quickly said again, "Please, don't leave. I didn't want to disturb you. It's just that this is my favourite painting too and it's nice to find someone that can appreciate it" Wooyoung looked at him with a puzzled look, still uncertain on what to do, "You arrived first, if you want to be alone I can leave, don't worry" added San after a few seconds.

He stood up and was about to turn and give up even before trying when Wooyoung voice caught him off guard "You can stay" it had been just a whisper.

San faced the younger boy who had sat back on the floor and was looking at him with those big innocent eyes. San smiled keeping the eye contact for a brief second before crouching back down in his previous position.

"You know, the original painting is much smaller than this one but I find it so beautiful that I thought it was a shame to keep it that size so I had a painter make this huge copy" he paused admiring the canva in front of him, "I'm no expert, but I think it came out pretty good"

Wooyoung who had looked at San while he talked suddenly turned back to the painting, nodding in approval, "It is beautiful!"

"Do you know the artist? Vincent van Gogh?" asked San after a while.

Wooyoung'sa gaze fixed on San once again, a little blush on his cheek as he shook his head.

Cute. "He was a Dutch painter" San stopped for a second, unsure if he had to keep going, but when he raised his eyes he was met with Wooyoung curious stare, looking intently at him, almost waiting, "He has always been my favourite, I don't know how to explain it but- there's something in his paintings that no other artist has. It's like a earthquake when you look at the canvas, can you feel it? Everytime I get lost in its colours they feel like vibrating to me, you really can tell the passion van Gogh had put in it. Look-"

San stood up and got closer to the painting, he pointed at a specific space where the blue of the sky was particularly dark, "Look here, come closer, look-" he gestured to Wooyoung, who stood up and timidly got closer, he expecter for San to stay put but as soon as their body were close enough the older boy took a step aside leaving Wooyoung in front of the painting.

"Look at this spot, it's just a reproduction but I specifically asked for the brushstrokes to be done in the same way. Can you see how thick and full of colour it is? You really can tell how he pushed the brush down in this specific spot" San got closer once again and passed his fingers on the thick paint, lost in his world, his eyes shining with a new light as he admired the painting. Wooyoung couldn't help but look at the other boy with admiration, he sounded so passionate as he spoke and Wooyoung really hoped San would resume his speech and tell him more.

But San didn't, when he came back from his line of thoughts he just looked at Wooyoung and a sad smile opened on his face, "I'm probably boring you, am I?" he chuckled, "It's just that when I talk about it I can't help myself"

"You're not boring me," he paused, his cheeks blushing as he said "I would love to hear more actually"

"Really? Well I'd love to tell you more!" the embarrassed smile soon turning into a bright, happy one, dimples appearing on his cheeks. He's handsome, thought Wooyoung, his blush becoming even redder as he realised he couldn't stop staring at San face. He didn't look that scary after all.

"Is this place real?" he asked in a whisper trying to distract himself.

"You mean the iris field?" San pointed at the painting, "It is! It's in Arles, in the southern part of France. Van Gogh lived there for a while, he was in love with the colours of that province and during his stay he painted the biggest part of his art production" he paused for a second unsure, he had expected Wooyoung to be already focused on something else but when their eyes met he could see again that curious sparkle, waiting for more, almost begging for more words, for more stories. And what a better story than...

"You know, he didn't have an easy life. Van Gogh, I mean. I guess that's the main reason why I like his paintings so much. It's really possible to feel his struggle through them. He had a mental illness: depression, he was bipolar and a sociopath, but he tried. He tried to get better, he really did, but he failed every time drowning in a even deeper despair. He had something inside he couldn't get out. I don't know if it was anger, frustration, loneliness, I don't want to name it, but whatever it was you really can feel it in every brushstroke he did. Come here I show you another one" San gestured to another painting, a smaller one, hanging on the wall on their left.

Wooyoung followed San like he was in a trance, bewitched by the story the boy was telling him. He could understand. He could feel that same heaviness inside and didn't matter how much he tried to ignore it or to cry it out, it was always there. It didn't fade. The new painting seen from afar would have looked like a pretty boring one. It was a room, small, old, colorful. Nothing special one would say but when you looked closer...

"This was his room in Arles, the bed-"

"I can see it" Wooyoung interrupted San, "I'm sorry, it's just that what you said before, about the painting that was shaking, I can see it!" the walls really were vibrating, all the room looked like it was shook by a silent but strong earthquake. Wooyoung felt a shiver running down his spine as he savoured every detail: the bed with the red cover, the pictures hanging from the walls that seemed like they could fall at any moment.

"I can feel it" Wooyoung said again.

"Me too" they stared at the painting for a bit longer before San spoke again, "Would you like to see more? I have many more of van Gogh paintings, most of them are reproductions but I've got also couple of originals. I don't want to force you, but- well- if you-"

"I would love that" Wooyoung answered without hesitation, a radiant smile opening on his face as he looked at San straight in the eyes for the first time without any fear.

San smiled too and had to control himself to not touch the other out of excitement, "Well, that one on the left is-" but he couldn't finish his sentence because far away a door slammed and Seonghwa high pitched voice called them.

"I said one hour San! Dinner's ready. You two'd better come before Hongjoong finishes all the food. YAH! Stop eating, wait for-" the sentence lost behind the door who had been closed once again.

"I guess I'll tell you next time then" San smiled embarrassed, eyes turning into half moons, dimples showing, oh lord he was gorgeous, and Wooyoung couldn't ignore his heart making a flip inside his chest.

But no. Stop! Wooyoung intentionally bit the inside of his cheek, the sudden pain stopping his line of thoughts. He wasn't allowing himself to get attached. He was just a property, he didn't have any value, he was just to be used as long as his owner pleased. It was just a matter of time. But still, San looked so different...

Wooyoung shook his head. I just need some food, I can't think straight with an empty stomach. And with that he walked with San to the dining room.

A/N

Ohhhhhhhh! FINALLY I POSTED IT!
Feels like I'm dreaming, it took me ages to complete this chapter. I hope that next one will be easier to write.

Are you enjoying the story so far?

Also, I have TONS of things to say about this comeback. The previews are just so fine. Woosan in that van???? CAN PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME GOOD INSPO FOR A ONE SHOT 'CAUSE I NEED ONE SO BAD!!!! 🔥

Also, one of you guys asked for a oneshot about the drunk Wanteez episode (Wooyo kissing Yunho and then disappearing to the bathroom and ops, San disappeared too...). I'll start writing it soon, so I might post that one first and next chapter of Iris field next.

❤️ anywaysssss you'll hear from me soon deheheheh