He didn't really need to use the bathroom but if during the evening nobody had even spared a look at him since they had sat at the table he felt many eyes piercing his skin.

San was probably too distracted by his conversation to notice, Wooyoung didn't blame him, but people were staring. Their gaze judging as he sat next to the other guests, sharing their wine and their food, ashamed, disgusted, incredulous that a slave was permitted to stand on their same level. He tried his best to ignore those eyes but they were burning through his skin, making the air thicker and humid, filling his lungs with poison and making it almost impossible to breath. He tried to listen to the beautiful girl sitting in front of him as she spoke to San, she looked nice, she had also smiled to him once or twice, but he couldn't focus. A soft buzz started playing inside his ears and all he could do was standing up. He moved all of a sudden startling San that immediately turned to look at him, the clear worry in his eyes made Wooyoung try his best to smile hoping that the older wouldn't notice the little trembling of his hands and the thin layer of sweat that had started to cover his skin.

"I'll go to the bathroom" his voice came out in a shaky whisper.

"Do you want me to come with you?" the answer was immediate as San stared at him tenderly, searching his eyes for any sign of discomfort, so full of love that Wooyoung felt his heart skip a bit.

Yes, please.

But he just smiled instead and shook his head, "It's okay, I'll be very quick, you'd better stay and finish this conversation" he knew it was better that way, he truly didn't want to be away for that long. He just needed some fresh air.

As he walked to the door he knew people were staring, he heard whispers following him on his way, the exit feeling so far away, out of reach but when he finally heard the thick wooden surface close at his back he finally allowed himself to breath a sight of relief. The corridors were empty apart for a few waitresses in their cute white outfit running from the various rooms to where probably the kitchen was trying their best to quickly clean the mess left by the guests. He stopped one of them asking where the closest bathroom was and she politely gave him instructions.

It wasn't so far but as Wooyoung entered the indicated room he thought he had followed the wrong path. It took him a few seconds to realize he was in a vast ante-bathroom. Couple of seconds more to realize he wasn't alone: a men and a woman which figures were so entangled that it was difficult to distinguish to whom belonged which arm and leg were leaning on a huge white couch. The hand of the man was not so shyly palming the woman's body who instead was sucking his face off. Wooyoung gasped freezing on his spot and lowering his head, it was all it took for the couple to look up and giggle.

"Seems like we're not alone anymore" the man said, "Wanna try somewhere else?" and without even hearing the girl's reply he stood up and lead them both outside.

Wooyoung didn't wait for them to disappear but just quickly walked through the elegant space to reach the bathroom door and lock it immediately behind of him. Inside that marble white room he let himself finally go: he realized he was hyperventilating so much that some of his body parts had become numb, his legs were shaking menacingly as he let himself slide against the cold surface at his back, the wood of the door scratching his back drenched in sweat. He removed his jacket feeling too heavy inside that humid suffocating space but his fingers were slow and tingling, unable to grab properly the fabric. It took him long, the artificial yellow light of the room hurting his eyes while everything around him was spinning. He closed his lids, head thrown back against the door as he tried his best to focus on his body, on his surroundings: the floor was cold and smooth under his fingers, he let his legs stretch through the ground trying to perceive every inch of contact.

"Take a deep breath in for me" he felt like he could almost hear San voice as he tried to remember how he used to calm him down, he inhaled, "Yeah, that's right! Now a big breath out" exhale, "You're doing so good, baby" he repeated every step with calm his hands slowly regained some sensitivity as he brought one to his chest to feel his breathing.

He realized he was completely drenched. The silky thin shirt sticking to his body like a second skin. He unbuttoned it removing also the silver body chain and letting everything slip to the floor. His knees were still a little bit wobbly but he managed to stand up. He realized the sink must have been in the ante-bathroom because inside that marble room there were just a toilet, a full-length mirror and a few cabinets. He took one of the small white towel left on top of a mahogany dresser and passed it against his skin, the fabric was soft and comforting, drying out his now cold sweat. He wore his jewelry and shirt once again and even if he still wasn't so comfortable in front of mirrors he tried to look at himself. Seonghwa had put so much effort into his looks but now his make-up was smudged and his shirt wrinkled.

"Fuck" he hissed, he tried to smooth the fabric but he couldn't do much with his eyeliner, "water, I'll fix it with water" he tried to reassure himself.

You're fine. San is just behind that door, you're not alone. Nobody will hurt you. You can do this for him, can you?

He stared at his reflection for a bit longer, he didn't look as bad as he thought, he realized as he felt a little smile appearing on his face.

Yeah, I can do it for him!

He unlocked the door and walked out of the–

"Oh!" a gasp left his lips when he found Changkyun seated on the same white couch he had noticed before. He was staring at him with wide eyes.

A smirk appeared on the red dressed man's lips, "Of all people I really didn't expect to find you. Definitely a nice surprise" he sounded genuinely taken aback but Wooyoung couldn't find the strength to answer.

He lowered his head and walked to the closer sink trying to fix his make-up before leaving. But as he looked in the mirror he noticed Changkyun standing up and walking closer to him.

"What happened? Choi has made you cry?" he scoffed, "He acts all lovely but I bet he's a cruel bastard where you're alone"

"H-he's not" Wooyoung stuttered back, he made eye contact with the taller man through their reflection, "You're wrong!"

"Oh-oh! At the auction they said you were docile but you even dare talking back" he shook his head disappointingly but his smirk never faded, "Wooyoung– I can call you by name right? No formalities" he laughed, "Why am I even asking? You're a slave I could call you "slut" and you'd still have to answer me, anyways..."

Wooyoung felt a shiver running down his spine, he wished he could turn and run away but his legs froze when Changkyun stood so close behind him, bodies not touching but he could feel his presence suffocating him.

"If you were mine you'd make a much more polite dog, I seriously regret not bidding more. You really are pretty" his eyes roamed through Wooyoung's body, gaze piercing through his skin like he could actually see him naked.

"C-changkyun-ssi, I'd like to go back t-to San" he found the strength to turn, knuckles closing around the edge of the basin holding it so firmly that his knuckles turned white. The door wasn't that far but Changkyun was blocking the way.

"Oh my! You address your owner with his first name?" another evil laugh left the older's mouth, "You really are ridiculing him, no doubts everyone is making fun of him"

Wooyoung blinked. Ridiculing him?

"Why so surprised? Didn't you hear the whispers? Didn't you notice how people look at you? He acts like he really loves you, that's insane! You sit at my table, eat my food, drink my wine like a normal person. I mean–" he paused to scoff once again, all the situation seeming really funny to him, "I didn't expect him to bring you on a leash but this–" his index pointed at Wooyoung head to toes, "This is crazy!"

"But he-he told me..." Changkyun was just trying to mess with him, he knew that but still his words hurt.

"Don't tell me you forgot"

"F-forgot?" what could he possibly have forgotten?

"Don't you remember what being a slave means? If you ended up in that situation it means you deserved it, did you not?" Wooyoung breath got stuck in his throat and Changkyun just nodded satisfied, "See? Let me guess: you had important debts with your previous owner that you couldn't pay back? Or maybe your mother?"

"Don't talk about my family" Wooyoung growled in a desperate attempt.

"Ha-ha– he bites too! I had it right though, it was your mother's fault, was it? Did she sell you to buy drugs or what?" Wooyoung was about to reply but Changkyun hand raised once again to stop him, "Look Wooyoung I don't really care, I just want to remind you where you belong"

He walked even closer to the now shaking boy and towered over him, his hand extended and locked around one of his wrists pulling it up. Wooyoung tried his best to free from the tight grip but it was useless, his strength was gone along with his ability to move away.

"I won't hurt you, no need to cry" he said with the same smirk as his other hand brushed away tears he didn't notice he was shedding.

He went back to Wooyoung's wrist pulling the fabric up his arm and exposing his scarred flesh, "Ah! I knew I would find some– See? These are here for a reason. You shouldn't forget why you were punished" he stated, thumb pressing against the pale scars. It hurt. That contact burnt like fire against Wooyoung's skin but he still couldn't push himself to move.

"S-sir, p-please" he hiccuped, "l-let me go, ple-please!"

"Much better, yeah? Now you're begging, that's how you should address your master too" the smirk growing wider on his face as he leaned closer, mouth brushing so close to his ear that Wooyoung could feel warm puffs of breath against his skin making him shiver violently, "Don't you think it's better to go back being a good slave? Don't you want your master to be happy? Just wrap your mouth around his cock when it's required but stop making fun of him, will y–"

BANG!

The door slammed open attracting Changkyun's attention that moved away from Wooyoung's neck but kept holding his wrist down.

"What are you doing to him?" San's angry voice echoed through the room. It sounded so threatening that Wooyoung squirmed against Changkyun's hold, but the older boy didn't stop smirking for a second.

"San-ah, we were just talking, no need to worry! Actually I think you should–" he stopped halfway when he noticed San turn to close the door and lock it, "What do you think you're doing?" the smirk immediately dropping.

"Get away from him you bastard" San started walking closer to Changkyun who immediately left Wooyoung's wrist and took a step back.

"Choi San-ssi, I'd like to remember that this is my house and–" but he couldn't complete his sentence because San fist hit him on the jaw.

Wooyoung screamed while Changkyun stumbled back until his body crushed against the wall. His arms coming up to shield himself from more attacks but it didn't stop San.

He couldn't think straight anymore, a red veil had dropped before his eyes, rage and hatred was all he could feel in that moment. He knew he wouldn't like whatever awaited him behind that door when he checked Wooyoung's location on his phone, but of all things he hadn't expected Changkyun to be with Wooyoung. Bodies so close, hand firmly closed around Wooyoung's wrist. And Wooyoung was crying. When San had stepped inside he immediately noticed the terror on his face, a dark haze fogging the happy shining that his eyes usually had. He looked gone. He looked like the scared boy he had saved from that disgusting auction and he couldn't take it.

Changkyun was a dead man.

He didn't even care about what Changkyun did because whatever it was it had made Wooyoung suffer. He had to pay and he didn't even realize as he threw another punch in Changkyun's face direction, but this time the boy moved away dropping down and San fist crashed against the wall. He saw blood spilling copiously from his knuckles but he didn't feel any pain as he used his left hand to grab Changkyun from his collar and settle another punch on his stomach. The taller man bent forward as the air left his lungs, his hands dropped to clench around his abdomen, a darker shade of red was standing out on the crimson vest. His blood? San's blood? It didn't really matter. Changkyun's face was exposed once again and San didn't hesitate to hit him on the temple. Changkyun fell to the ground with a loud grunt but San didn't give him a chance to recover as he dropped down too, body hovering over his and keeping hitting him with his right fist while his left held him there. A cracking sound was heard when he got for the elder's nose but after that there were just rhythmic thump thump thump every time San hit him and slippery noises of blood spilling everywhere. Changkyun screamed in pain trying to get away from San's fury, trying to fight back but his attempts were useless.

Red. Red of Changkyun suit. Red on San white shirt. Red on mangled flesh. Red on the walls. It felt like nothing existed but the blood spilling from their bodies. Changkyun was still and silent, but screams could still be heard. It didn't matter, San wouldn't stop.

"San! You're killing him!" a voice yelled from his back.

Yeah! That's the whole point! he thought but didn't bother to answer just keeping hitting the unrecognizable face below him.

Die! Die! Die!

Hands locked around his arms and he instinctively pushed them away, fist involuntary hitting something behind him. His own hand raised to grab whoever had tried to stop him. He would have killed them too if he had to. But his blood suddenly froze in his veins when he noticed who was the figure on the floor at his feet.

Wooyoung was staring at him with eyes full of tears and an expression of terror San had never witnessed before. His hand was cupping his own cheek where San could spot a bruise already forming.

"Oh my god!" he dropped to his knees trying to get closer to the younger but as he moved the boy crawled back whining in fear, "Woo, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hit you! Let me see your–"

He extended one bloody hand to check Wooyoung's wound but the boy screamed before he could reach for him, "D-don't touch me!" he was crying so much that his words came out distorted but clear enough for San heart to break.

"Y-you kil-killed h-him" he could hiccup, eyes moving from Changkyun's motionless body to San clothes covered in blood.

"He– He hurt you! I–" San found himself speechless as he brought his hands to cover his eyes, "I did it for you" he breathed out.

"No!" Wooyoung cried harder, "I di-didn't w-want t-this" he hugged his knees moving to a corner of the room and hiding his face against his legs.

San sob echoed in his chest loud enough to hurt but Wooyoung couldn't bring himself to look up. The man he thought he knew so well, the soft and caring one, who held him between his arms, who looked at him with the most tender eyes. It was all an illusion. Everything was over as he kept replaying in his head the scenes of a few moments earlier. All he could see was blood: a helpless man, already defeated, crying in pain for his suffering to stop while a raging beast kept hitting him insatiable for violence. The grimace on San face was what scared Wooyoung the most: he was unrecognizable, his face distorted in a wicked pleasure as he witnessed at Changkyun suffering.

So... That was the real Choi San. Wooyoung felt like his heart was about to get ripped out of his chest as he kept listening to that man crying, mingling along with his own sobs. That was the man he fell in love with but he couldn't push his body to move, too scared of this unknown side of him. He had hit him but the pulsating bruise on his cheek wasn't as painful as the realization that not even his calls and cries were able to stop the fury of San. He was so immersed in his need of revenge that everything else didn't matter anymore. And to Wooyoung all of that sounded way too familiar, way too similar to the environment he had experienced before he was bought at that auction.

He just couldn't push himself to move, push himself to forgive, not San but himself, terrified that whatever would come from that moment on would be forever ruined. San killed a man and he did it because of Wooyoung. With his insecurities, with his weakness, with his existence he had pushed San to become something he barely believed existed before. The sweet loving man was gone and it was all because of Wooyoung.

San looked up hearing a louder sob leaving Wooyoung's throat, and as he listened to the boy's crying he realized it wasn't the only sound in the room. Loud pounds could be heard against the door, many voices screaming, one in particular sounded like Hongjoong yelling to open or that he would break down the door. But it didn't matter anymore, did it?

He looked one last time at Wooyoung. His head still buried in his knees, back heaving as he struggled to breath through all those ugly sobs. He tried to dry his own tears as he felt them falling down in unstoppable streams. He tried to extend one hand in Wooyoung's direction but he stopped halfway seeing how bloody his skin was. A shiver ran through his spine. Wooyoung was scared of him and he couldn't blame him, could he?

He had ruined it all. Wooyoung had looked at him with the most terrified eyes, a gaze that he had never showed, not even the first time they met. He didn't want him anymore, it was clear. How could he love someone like San? He had tried his best and he had failed. He had lost him. So what mattered? He felt himself breaking down in another silent cry as the noises from behind the door got even louder. It didn't matter, let them shout, let them break in. The door would have ceded sooner or later but he didn't care. Another creepy sound arrived to his ear, a soft rumble from behind him. So Changkyun wasn't dead, he hadn't killed him, but did it really matter at this point? Wooyoung hated him and nothing mattered anym–

Two loud sounds filled the room before it ended up in silence: first there was the slamming of the door finally breaking down, then in came the bang of a gun.

San felt an unbearable pain piercing his back and chest, he had the time to look and notice a red stain diffusing where the shirt was already dirty with Changkyun's blood. The bright color filling all the white remaining spots. He looked up. Wooyoung was staring at him again, fear gone replaced with shock. San wanted to smile at him, to tell him that he will be good, but he couldn't because he felt his body suddenly becoming incredibly weak, knees unable to sustain his weight anymore as he felt himself fall forward. Gaze blurring.

No! No! No! No!

Wooyoung jumped from his spot, arms extending and catching San before he crashed on the floor. He tried to turn him and even if San was heavy he managed to let him lay back down with his head rested on his thigh as he grunted in pain. He spared a glance at Changkyun, his body went still once again, gun in hand, smoke leaving the barrel. It all happened so fast, but to Wooyoung's eyes it felt like everything was moving in slow motion. People were running inside the room. Screaming, fainting, gathering around them. He tried to find Hongjoong but he couldn't spot him in that huge confusion. This wasn't happening, it was all a terrible nightmare, wasn't it? He stared at the blood stain becoming terribly wide, reaching his fingers rested on San stomach, he gasped in terror.

"Wooyoungie–" San voice was weak and trembling, eyes searching those of Wooyoung desperately.

"I'm here, Sanie I'm here" he cried, panic surrendering for a second to a stronger emotion that he couldn't really name. His hands acted on their own as he ripped the shirt open exposing the horrible wound, "Oh my god!" he gasped as he removed his own jacket and pressed it down on San chest to prevent more blood from spilling. San cried out for the pain, head pushed back on Wooyoung's tight as he closed his eyes for a brief second.

"Woo–" San called again after a few seconds, eyes blurred but struggling to find Wooyoung. He was about to tell him to not talk and spare his energy but their eyes met and he felt all his words gone, his heart breaking into million pieces when he noticed the defeated expression taking over San beautiful face, "Wooie 'm sorry" his hand shakily raised to brush where he had hit Wooyoung as his eyes filled with unshed tears, "'orry–"

"It's all right baby, it's all right! I forgive you. I'm here" his hand instinctively moved to take San's in his as his eyes filled with tears. It was so hard to speak when he felt his own breath coming out cracked and erratic because of his sobs but he tried his best to sound calm, "Don't waste energy, you will be all right, yeah? We will take you to the hospital, Hongjoong-hyung will– he will–" but his words died in his mouth as he felt San hand drop down and his eyes starting closing, "San-ah! Stay with me, please! Please! Please!" his view was blurred for all the tears shedding down his cheeks but he could notice San look at him again, his mouth opening even so slightly.

"Woo–" he called but it was almost impossible to hear it in the noise of the room. His eyes searched those of Wooyoung in a despair that looked almost madly, his expression begging the boy to listen to him one last time and Wooyoung obliged: his body bent down shaken in horrible hiccups as he leaned his ear close to San mouth, "Wooie–" San gasped again, his hand clenching around that of Wooyoung in one last desperate attempt, and then his mouth brushed his skin once again, those plump lips now stained in blood left their last print on Wooyoung as they whispered "I love you–"

I love you too, he was about to say it back. Tears running non-stop down his face but when he looked at San his eyes were closed and his muscles motionless.

"No, no, no! San-ah, wake up please!" he panicked, hands leaving the wound and flying to San face pulling him up, checking his neck. Hands dirty with blood staining the pearly skin and finally finding peace around San's shirt collar. He didn't know what to do desperately searching the crowd and like he could have heard his thoughts Hongjoong immediately appeared followed by two big men, Changkyun's men.

"Wooyoung!" Hongjoong exclaimed seeing him, "Are you hurt?" he asked but his eyes immediately flew to where Wooyoung's hands were still pressing. His jacket was soaked in blood that had dirtied his hands too. His fingers immediately flew to San neck searching his pulse.

"I'm not but S-san–" his voice trembled, his mind thinking things he couldn't push himself to say out loud.

"Listen to me: we don't have time. I want you to do exactly what I tell you. I need you to go to Seonghwa and Mingi and whatever happens I need you to stay calm and help me in whatever I ask you next. Can you do that?"

Wooyoung nodded vehemently, if it meant saving San he would do anything. He stood up on wobbly knees leaving San body between Hongjoong hands and looked around, Seonghwa was standing in front of him with Mingi and another tall guy, when he spotted Wooyoung he ran in his direction, taking his face between his hands.

Wooyoung noticed Seonghwa expression changing a little when he noticed how his hands and clothes were covered in blood. His palms retreating from his face slightly as a small gasp left his eyes suddenly distant.

"Seonghwa-hyung?" Wooyoung sniffed taking a step back, of all things he didn't want to scare Seonghwa. If he didn't like to see all that blood he would stay away.

But Seonghwa shook his head pulling Wooyoung closer once again and starting to check his bruise, "What happened? Did Changkyun do this to you?" he asked worried as he passed his thumb over the scratched cheek.

Wooyoung shook his head trying to keep at bay more tears, he looked around. Changkyun was awake still laying on the floor surrounded by men and what seemed like a doctor mending his wounds. He was grunting and screaming every time hands touched him but when he noticed Wooyoung eyes on him a mad laugh left his lungs making Wooyoung shiver.

"That asshole!" Seonghwa hissed, "Don't worry darling, the important thing is that you're safe, I heard San was shot but I'm sure Hongjoong will–"

"He's dead!" Hongjoong voice resounded through all the room bringing with it a creepy silence, only Changkyun's laugh now resounding even louder could be heard, "Choi San is dead" Hongjoong repeated firmly and the world crumbled.

Wooyoung felt like someone had pushed a hand inside of his chest and ripped his still beating heart away, he was sure he was going to vomit but as he opened his mouth just a broken sob left his lungs. He felt his knee hit the floor, his body unwillingly bending on itself unable to stand straight anymore. Heavy invisible hands pushing him down.

It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. A poisonous voice kept yelling inside his head covering Seonghwa's desperately trying to calm him down.

He looked up, his eyes still attracted to San unmoving body like a moth to a flame, he noticed the two apes approaching Hongjoong and whispering something to his ear, something that he probably didn't like because his brows frowned so much that they almost touched.

"I don't give a damn!" he yelled all of a sudden, "He might have lost control but we all saw what happened: he was far away from him when Changkyun shot him. Changkyun shot him while he was giving him his back. San is dead and Changkyun is still alive so... I won't seek revenge and I can assure you that none of us will but you have to let us go now. We will take the body with us and leave before something worst happens or before someone decides to call the police. But if you won't let us go now I swear on my life that I won't find peace until I see all of you rot in hell" all the guests in the room nodded and the two men couldn't do much but step back, "Wooyoung!" Hongjoong called him.

His eyes met those of the older, he was angry, furious at least, in a way that scared Wooyoung, but there was something else. His best friend was leaning at his feet, lifeless, but Hongjoong didn't look desperate like Wooyoung had expected. A strange light was enlightening his face, something that Wooyoung couldn't really understand but that gave him an irrational hope. He felt Seonghwa hands helping him up and whispering to his ear to go. And at those words he felt like invisible strings were making him move, he couldn't feel his body but he walked to where Hongjoong was standing.

"Help me with the body, we're taking him home" he pointed at San feet as he stood above his head, before he lowered to raise him he looked at Seonghwa, "Can I leave this to you?"

Seonghwa nodded, "Mingi, Yunho and I will clean this mess. I'll see you at home" the sweet boy he had met completely gone and replaced with a fearless man that immediately walked to where Changkyun and his men where gathered.

San body was heavy, Wooyoung lifted him up holding him by his ankles while Hongjoong hands reached him under his armpits. They lifted him and San face contorted in pain. It happened so quickly in an unnoticeable fraction that Wooyoung couldn't really react not even sure he had seen it right. His jaw dropped but no sounds left his mouth.

"Move and don't say a word" Hongjoong voice called him back, his eyes staring at Wooyoung almost begging him to act fast.

And Wooyoung did as he walked to the corridor and down to the exit. The car wasn't far and they managed to load San up the back seats.

"Sit with him and keep pressing on his wound like you did before. The hole on his back is worse but if–"

"Hyung?" Wooyoung interrupted him in a rushed call, the honorific on his lips sounding more like a plead.

"I know someone" he started the engine, "Maybe he can help us and –" there were more words but Wooyoung couldn't listen to them. What was the whole point? San was dead, wasn't he? They couldn't do anything and listening to all that made it hurt just more. But Hongjoong kept talking, confused words filling the car space, sounding incredibly close to some kind of hope...

"Hongjoong-ah?" Wooyoung called again, desperate, voice shaking.

"We don't have time and I'm not sure but it seems the bullet has pierced through his body, he's losing lots of blood but if we–"

"Is he alive?" Wooyoung shouted unable to take another of Hongjoong's words, his brain so full he thought it would explode.

"He is, but barely" Hongjoong sighted and with that whisper it felt like Wooyoung's heart started to beat again.

.⋆☾⋆⁺

I love you.

It was all he could think before the world turned black. The tunnel wasn't bright at the end but terribly dark and scary. Nothing existed but the shadows surrounding him. A cold black calm took over his body, his thoughts, what he could feel. It felt like the end but soon the darkness wasn't the only thing his senses could perceive.

Pain.

The car hit a big hole in the road and he came seethed awake. His mouth tasted like blood and his teeth gritted as he tried to suffocate a scream he was probably to weak to release. His breath was ragged and uneven. It wheezed out of him with the effort, his body contorted, trying to find even the smallest reprieve from the agony that burned him from the inside where the bullet went in.

"Hang in there, Sanie" hearing the so familiar voice made him flinch.

Wooyoungie! He wanted to call him but any attempt of speaking failed as a horrible cough shook his body, blood spilling from his mouth and a new terrible wave of pain rushed through his veins.

The same sweet voice shushed him trying to calm him down as he contorted on the back seat of the car, more blood spilled from his back as he felt the completely drenched shirt and jacket stick to the now also dirty leather where he was laying. He couldn't see clearly, a thick fog blurring his view. Only the rapid flashing of the streetlights could clearly be spotted making him dizzy as whoever was driving led them at a crazy speed. He squeezed his eyes shut but even that small gesture lit a starburst of agony, his being reduced to a burning pillar of pain. The world kept spinning around him as he realized he was frequently losing consciousness, coming back awake only when a new wave of pain rushed through him. He couldn't think straight, the world sounding and looking so distant from him as he felt like it kept moving without him. Over and over in his mind he heard the shaking of Wooyoung's voice but he couldn't understand if he was really hearing it or just imagining things.

"You have to make it! We're almost there! Just a little bit longer" and he tried to believe it as he felt another bump of the road piercing through his skin like another gunshot.

He really thought he was going to die, pain so unbearable he wished he had died but then suddenly the car came to a stop and in a brief second of consciousness he tried to open his eyes. It was dark but a faint light at his back partially enlightened a face right above him. He thought he could recognize those lips moving and forming almost unbearable words.

"–'re there"

"–oing to move, oka–"

"–be okay, Sanie"

And then his head was lifted and carefully dropped on the seat of the car as the warm thigh he had been leaning on for all that time was suddenly gone.

"This is going to hurt San-ah" he could hear another voice say before his body was yanked back and hissed on someone's back. They were right, it did hurt.

He screamed in pain or at least he tried but just a suffocated grunt escaped his lips as the person holding him up started to move.

"I'm sorry San-ah" and in that second he knew it was Hongjoong. He wished he could thank him but another rush of agony spiked in his back as Hongjoong turned from the car and ran with him, ungracefully, through the open glass door of a building with dim lights on.

And maybe he was really dying because in that terrible pain he felt like parts of his life replayed in front of his blurred out eyes. He actually didn't see much and realized that just one subject kept repeating into his mind.

"I'm yours and I won't go anywhere until you want me to" he had foolishly promised during an irrational moment where he had let himself believe that their happiness could be forever. It felt so unfair because deep down he knew it wasn't so absurd to hope for a future together. There was supposed to be a lifetime of moments like that one: of promises, of kisses and caresses, of unspoken I love you and of spoken ones. A sentence that he realized he never had the chance to hear back. But it was too late now, was it?

It was so unfair. They had done so much to get where they were but it was the end. San knew he was dying and he would die without being able to hear and see Wooyoung's face one last time, without being able to hear him say I love you, without being kissed breathlessly one last time. It was so unfair.

He felt his body being leaned on a cold surface and as a new wave of pain invaded his mind he felt the world go dark once again.

.⋆☾⋆⁺

His head stayed low as they waited. Palms pressing against his forehead as he kept looking at the tiled floor in the shadowed hallway of the vet clinic shut down for years.

They had been there before but it never felt like this. Hongjoong wasn't ready for this. None of them were. In a world like the one they lived in it was common to face death, to kill or get killed. Every day felt like a Russian roulette, a bet against fate, and that day it seemed like they lost.

He had washed his hands and tried to scrub his jacket as better as he could but he could still see the darker halo dirtying the fabric where San's blood had soaked through. If he looked at the glass door of the main entrance he could still see the bloodied print his palm had left when he pushed it open. San had lost a lot of blood, way too much for Hongjoong's likings but as they waited he couldn't help but hope that his friend would still make it.

Hopes that were deeply shaken at every one of San's screams echoing through the otherwise silent hallway. Screams that made Hongjoong shiver, his heart clenching in his chest as he hoped that all that sufferance wasn't for nothing. He wondered if the man treating San in that moment knew what he was doing. A connection that Hongjoong happened to know by pure chance. As he said they had been there before, but at that time Seonghwa's wounds weren't that serious. It happened so many years ago and Hongjoong couldn't help but think of how many things had changed since then.

At that time he barely knew Seonghwa. He knew his name for sure, but he had never spoken to him. Both him and San were very young and still learning how to move in that insidious world, but during those same years there were voices about a boy around their age that was apparently born to live that way. He was a teenager, but so talented and skillful that many of the most important bosses already respected him and praised him for his incredible worth. He came from nothing, raised on the street, no family and no name to hold onto but rotten luck or maybe fate had brought him to one of the most infamous personalities of those years: Lee Byeongho. Many versions of the same stories were told: somebody said that Seonghwa had tricked the boss into a gambling game and had the better hand, others said he had challenged Byeongho even if he knew who he was and deeply impressed the man for his fearless spirit. The most envious talked about how he had seduced him using his young body and undeniable beauty... Nobody actually knew what had happened but of one thing everyone was sure: whatever Seonghwa did he had conquered Byeongho esteem and trust, so much that he decided to adopt him.

Everyone seemed happy with the decision: the boy quickly gained the trust of Byeongho's men and he was so talented that it was easy to be accepted as a valuable addition to the gang. Everyone learnt to love him, everyone but one person. Lee Byeongho's son, Minho, had never accepted his father's decision feeling betrayed and menaced by Seonghwa's presence. The two boys always had a hard time dealing with each other and when Byeongho's succession and heritage became a frequent topic, things escalated.

It all happened at a party: Lee Byeongho was found lifeless in one of the rooms of his villa, body disfigured in countless stab wounds. And Seonghwa was standing above the corpse, completely covered in blood with a knife in his hand. The boy tried to explain himself, stating he was innocent but it was impossible to believe him.

No police was called of course and Lee's man dispose of the body. Seonghwa didn't suffer any punishment, not the legal ones at least, but he was taken away, crying and swearing he didn't kill his beloved father. Everyone assisted that tragic scene and for some weird reasons Choi Jongchul happened to believe the boy, probably more interested in Seonghwa's talents than his innocence, but he sent his men to look for him and that's when Hongjoong found him. His body in a pool of still warm blood, alive but unconscious.

He had lived in that world long enough to know that Seonghwa's wounds weren't that serious, maybe he would wake up with different aches and pains and the deep cut starting from his eyebrow and going down to his cheekbone touching part of his eye would be a pain in the ass for the first months, but as long as his wounds were treated he would be safe. And as expected Seonghwa healed but to Jeongchul disappointment he never really regained that flame that seemed to accompany him until that moment. He barely spoke to anyone, even less frequently he was leaving his quarters and Hongjoong swore he had heard him cry during the nights.

Another feral scream filled the silence and got him out of his memories, he felt Wooyoung sob louder at his side, his head raising up unable to sit still a second longer. When yet another scream was heard the boy jumped up from his seat and took big steps to the door where he knew San was being treated.

"Wooyoung, don't!" Hongjoong stopped him, one hand blocking his arm before he could reach the handle.

"I want to be with him" Wooyoung said, he was crying hard but for some reason his voice didn't break in that annoying stutter, "Please, if it doesn't work, I need—" that's were his voice broke "I need to be with him" he concluded shedding more tears.

If he dies. None of them was strong enough to dare say those three words out loud but they hung heavily in the air between them.

"Let the man work, will ya?" he sighted, "We can do nothing for him and your presence inside that room would be just a nuisance"

Wooyoung sighted defeated and made his way back to the plastic chairs in the hallway. The clock kept ticking but it felt like hours never passed, the passing of time only marked by sudden desperate screams coming from behind a closed door that they couldn't cross.

When the front door suddenly opened both the boys got startled Hongjoong hand immediately flew to where he had his gun hidden but he relaxed when he saw Seonghwa, Mingi and a third man walk inside.

"How did you find us?" he asked in a whisper as he approached the glass door ignoring the three new guests to check that nobody had followed them.

When he turned again he was faced with a very serious Seonghwa that showed him his phone, the screen lighting up with the tracker downloaded by Hongjoong, "At least we know it works" Seonghwa turned to have a look around, "I remember this place" he stated in a deeper voice, his eyes landing on Wooyoung who hadn't move from his chair, body bent on itself, face buried against his legs, he was clearly crying.

"How is h–" but he couldn't complete his question because yet another scream filled the room.

"It's been going on for a while..." Hongjoong sighted, "But at least as long as we keep hearing his voice we know that he's still here" it was an agony itself to hear San suffering like that, but at every scream Hongjoong couldn't help but feel relieved that the long silence had been broken.

"Hyung, you'd better pull those curtains close. Nobody followed us and everyone seemed to believe you, but I wouldn't be so confident if I were you" Said the tall boy whose name Hongjoong couldn't remember, he was sure he had seen him with  Mingi before but they had never been introduced.

Hongjoong pulled the curtains as suggested, the dim light coming from the street immediately shutted behind the thick fabric, "I think we haven't been introduced" he looked at the guy suspiciously.

"I'm sorry, my name is Jeong Yunho. Your fame precedes you, it's a pleasure for me to finally work together"

Hongjoong couldn't help but chuckle, "My fame? I didn't know I was famous" he extended one hand to shake Yunho's before he looked at Mingi dead in the eyes, "If that bastard trusts you, you have my trust too. Welcome to the team, Yunho!" after a brief pause he asked again, "So they believed it?"

Seonghwa nodded, "Changkyun was completly out  of it, he kept laughing like a mad man. I don't think he will be able to investigate further on the matter until he has fully recovered, we will have time but I agree with Yunho when he says we have to be careful"

Hongjoong nodded, "We will get them out of it, I won't loose this chance I promise" he whispered glancing at Wooyoung again.

No screams were heard for a while and the tension started to grow between them again, everything had been too silent but even if it weighed heavily on them it felt almost impossible to even whisper. None of them dared to break that disturbing calm state but as Wooyoung started fidgeting again on his chair, nails scratching his skin in painful red marks, Hongjoong realized he had to do something.

"Woo" he called sitting next to him and taking his chin between his fingers. Wooyoung shook violently at the contact and tried to push away the hand holding him, "Hey hey hey, I don't mean to harm you, you know me don't you? I just wanted to check that bruise, let me clean it before it gets infected. I'll be gentle" Wooyoung already wet eyes shone even more in the dim lighted room as he nodded and hesitantly got closer to Hongjoong once again.

Once he had found all the supplies he needed in a first aid kit abandoned in the room he started to speak again, "You had been so brave tonight, I wouldn't be able to take Sanie here in time if it wasn't for you. This might sting a little bit, okay?" he paused before he pushed a piece of cotton soaked in alcohol, Wooyoung hissed and squinted his eyes but didn't move away. Hongjoong spoke again, "I'm sorry I had to lie, I didn't mean to scare you but this might be a good chance for you and San to get out of all this"

"Get out?" Wooyoung voice sounded painfully hoarse.

"Yeah! If Changkyun and everyone else thinks San's de–" but he stopped immediately, cotton falling from his hand and chair noisily scratching the floor as he stood up, noticing how everyone else followed when the door that had been locked until then opened.

A man with a white apron now almost completely soaked in red and looking more like a butcher than a surgeon stepped out of it. His head was low, eyes fixed on his hands as he removed latex gloves also dirty with blood and dried the sweat from his forehead with a clean towel. There was so much blood but what made Hongjoong shiver the most was the face of the man when it raised: it looked tired and defeated.

He's dead.

No other thoughts could be read inside of his mind as he felt himself starting crying, breath stuck in his lungs as silent tears dropped down his cheeks.

Fucking speak, is he dead? He wished he had the strength to scream and as the man could hear the train of thoughts running through Hongjoong's head he opened his mouth.

"Kim Hongjoong-ssi..." tired voice cracking halfway and Hongjoong felt the floor give away.

A/N
I can hear your annoyed filled with anxiety sighs ❤️