Safe to say, I was already ready and waiting when Bakugou showed up at the training arena, which I had begun to call The Alpha Centre, for lack of a better name. He looked a little surprised to see me so eager, but quickly flicked the switch back to childish aggression.

“Let's just hurry up and get this over with...I've got better things to do than waste my time sparring a little girl who can't control her quirk…” He muttered sourly, and it took a lot of power for me to not show any sign of disappointment as I locked the entrance.

“I'll have you know that I've gotten a lot better…” I said with a frown  stretching my arm across my chest. “...I've still got a long way to go...but at least I know that there's less chance of having casualties…” He seemed to ignore me as he tossed his backpack inside the surveillance room, and he came to stand a fair distance away, facing me, but refusing to make eye contact.

“Come at me, then.” He dared, palms igniting with spectacular bursts of sparks and flames.

I've missed him too much…

“Fine...may the best woman win.” I played a smirk as I activated my first, and most obvious, trick. His quirk vanished, but he didn't react.

“Predictable!” He laughed sarcastically. It was a pure delight to watch his expression falter when I activated phase two. I focused completely, and my hair shot out, not giving him any chance to react before it curled around his ankles and yanked his feet out from under him. I winced as his back hit the ground, and he uttered a throaty growl. “Since when could you do that without killing someone?!”

“Since the festival. As I said...I've gotten better…” I released him and allowed him to stand up, which was a mistake. I had already blinked after initiating berserk, and a ferocious heat blasted across my stomach as I flew backwards into the wall.

As expected...I knew he wouldn't hold back..!

“You're still weak! Lemme guess...you gotta use your entire concentration on your killer quirk? One slip and you could kill me, right?!” His laugh was condescending, and it made me begin to regret my decision. I was too distracted to dodge when his fist aimed for my chest, and I spluttered out bile as I was pummelled further into the wall. What took me by surprise, though, was that I could tell he wasn't using even half of his strength. “Look at you! You're a pet! Sit! Stay! Rollover! Play dead!” He flipped me over his shoulder, and pain shot through my back as I hit the ground.

“I..I'll c..control it!” I managed to say through my coughs, trying to get back on my feet. “I c..can catch up! I...have to...I ha-” I cried out as his boot pressed down on my arm, keeping me pinned to the hard earth. He leant over me, his quirk crackling threats into my face as he snarled.

“What's the point?! Your fucking dad is just gonna see it as an invitation to nab your sorry, street rat ass, again! You've got no chance against a villain like Slate! Give up!” He twisted his sole into my skin and I felt tears prickling at my eyes. I didn't dare use berserk against him whilst I was in such a state. He was hurting me in more ways than one.

“I have to try! I..I have to stand up to him! I h..have to save Hokuto…” His blazing palms came closer to my face, and he was all but straddling me, now, knees replacing his boot to keep my arms down. He could have killed me with his eyes alone.

“YOU'RE AN IDIOT, (Y/N)! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT HE'S NOT IN YOUR FUCKING REACH?! YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF!” Everything became silent once he screamed those words, and his breathing was erratic and strained. I just stared up into his conflicted face, feeling the tears drip down from my wide, (E/C) eyes.

Save...myself..?

“K..Katsuki…” His name came out in a stammer, and he lowered his palm, along with his head, casting his defeated gaze to the craggy ground beneath us.

“I...can't stand by and watch you get hurt...killed...all because you want to prove something...or to save someone who's already gone…” His voice was a near-silent whisper. “...If you won't let me be your damn hero...you need to save yourself…”

His lip was drawn between his teeth, and I could see it turning blue under the pressure. I felt like I was turning blue under the pressure, of everything that had happened and what was going to happen. I was the bruising lip between teeth, ready to split and bleed. Every cell in my body wanted to hold him. I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and give him exactly what he wanted. To let him be my hero, my knight in shining armour.

But...I…

“Katsuki…” A melancholy smile replaced my gaping mouth, and he finally met my eyes, looking as though my words were about to break him apart. “...either way...if I choose to fight or run...my dad is going to end up killing me...I'd rather put up a useless fight than die a coward...you of all people should understand that…”

I'd finally said it. Nobody knew my father like I did, nor the league of villains. No matter how much I tried to lie to myself, saying that I could fight back and save everyone I cared about, I knew I couldn't beat someone like him. I'd allowed myself to make friends, form relationships, get close to people, even fall in love, but I had never meant to. I didn't want to leave anyone behind when I was taken out.

“I...I ha..hate you…” I swallowed as I felt something wet land on my throat. “...I HATE YOU!” Bakugou let himself fall into me, his arms crushing my body against him as he buried his face into my chest. “Y..YOU CAN'T J..JUST FUCKING C..COME INTO MY L..LIFE AND D..DIE! YOU C..CAN'T MAKE ME L..LOVE YOU AND FUCKING DIE, DAMMIT! I H..HATE YOU!” I just held him as he sobbed violently, trying to choke back my own tears as I tried to comfort him. My eyes were gaping up at the ceiling, and I ran those words through my clouded head.

You can't make me...love you...and fucking die…

“Just accept it, Katsuki…” I murmured, calmer than expected. “...I just want to spend whatever time I have left being happy...giving things a shot...I never had that chance before...don't love someone like me...it's just…” I trailed off for a moment, my jaw clenching as I kept a hold of my emotions. “...tragic...everything about me is fucking t..tragic…” I uttered a dry, choked chuckle as I smiled again.

I'm just a walking tragedy...Full of hope one minute and now, here I am...facing the facts and letting myself slip again…I can't keeping lying to myself...

“I'll...never...accept it…” Bakugou lifted his head, and his crimson flare locked onto mine, swollen and red. “...Th...the only person...who c..can kill you...i..is me…” He crawled up my body so his face was shakily hovering over mine.

Don't…

“Katsuki...do-”

“I AM THE ONLY P..PERSON WHO HAS PERMISSION TO...TO K..KILL YOU, YOU GOT THAT, YOU FUCKING STREET RAT?! B..BECAUSE I WILL NEVER TAKE YOUR LIFE! S..SO DON'T EVEN THINK FOR A SECOND THAT HE'S GONNA GET THAT CHANCE!” His lips pressed to mine with such feverish urgency that I thought my skull was going to crack open. It was a bitter, woeful kiss, filled with hatred, pain, anger...and love. It was a form of love that was agonisingly raw.

This is wrong...I can't let him believe he can keep me alive…

But I kissed him back. I kissed him back with everything I had. His knees slipped from my hands, and I used them to pull him closer. I'd missed feeling that warmth, that heat. I had almost forgotten how lonely I had been the past weeks until now.

I don't want to need him...but I think I might...

He kissed me urgently, and each taut, tightly wound string of my terrifying reality was beginning to fray and detach. He was dragging me deep into his fantasy world with each movement. His futile dream that, somehow, I would live for him.

Katsuki...I'm a dead girl walking...but...let me believe that I'm not…just for a moment...

“(Y..Y/N)...” Bakugou murmured my name so softly against my swelling lips. “...let...me save you...” He was still crying, and it was such a strange sight. He always seemed so detached from emotions like this, but there he was, being vulnerable.

You can't...I can't...nobody can…

"I wanna...be your hero, dammit!" Bakugou pulled me close, continuing to gift me with kisses that told all. Everything he was feeling. It was intense, but unlike the night in his bedroom, it didn't feel forced.

"Katsuki...I..." His name was so perfectly toxic against my lips, I wasn't sure what to think. My feelings were a mess. We were a mess, just like he had said. I had no idea if it was love, but I knew that I was deeply attached to the blond.

I want to...believe it…

I wanted him to save me. I wanted to save myself, but it all seemed impossible. The only thing keeping me clinging to that one dull glimmer of hope was the way Bakugou was touching me. Holding me. Burning my lips with his everything.

“I...l..love you…” He pulled back and pressed his forehead to mine.

Don't...

“I love y..you..!” His nails were digging into the dirt either side of me, his body lifted off of mine, just barely, but still close enough that I could almost feel the tick of his pulse.

Don't..!

“Let..me love you..!” It hurt so much, hearing those words coming out of his mouth. Directed towards me. I was a broken little thing, even when I hadn't been aware that Slate was so close to home.

I can't..!

“(L..L/N) (F../N), I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" He finally opened his eyes, and that was it. Red no longer reminded me of the blood I had spilled. Red was warmth. Red was safety. Red was what could give me just enough hope to cling to my new life.

"I...love you too, Katsuki..." I didn't even really think. It just spilled from my mouth, but it didn't feel as strange to say as it had in my head. Straining a little, I craned my neck and initiated my own kiss, though it was far less aggressive than his had been.

“I...hate that...that I love you…” He whispered, now much quieter than before. “...b..but...I'm not gonna let you th..throw your life away...he'll have to kill me first…” I squeezed my eyes shut and put him to sleep with my serenity quirk. I couldn't listen to him say that. He was trying to give me hope that would just make everything worse in the end.

For your own sake, Katsuki...stop loving me...stop caring for me...I don't want you to...I...can't...see you hurting...it hurts...it...was never meant...to turn out like this…

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***I have no idea what just happened either, folks. This chapter is a mess.

Rewrite note: It's even more of a mess now that I changed it oop***