I fled the room. I couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't even know where I was running to. I just needed to go. I smashed the door to the storage room down, grabbed a big bottle of strong alcohol and fled. I ran out of the Right Arm camp. Running down the beach as fast as my legs would let me.

Finally I dropped after I couldn't keep up the pace. I let out a wild sob and scream right from the depths of my soul. I screamed and cursed and cried until my throat was sore and I lost my voice.

Jessie was terrible. And with that last warning...that last TV appearance she wasn't going to last much longer. Rat Man was going to loose his patience with her. It had been eight months of her being stuck there. I yanked the cap of the bottle off and chugged a good amount of it.

I sat staring at the ocean for a long time. The alcohol started to take over. I felt my head spinning and my vision started to go fuzzy. Tears slid down my face, I finished the rest of the bottle. I just sat with such a heavy heart. I lost all hope. There was no way I'd see her again. Janson was going to kill her.  I tried to get my fading mind to try and to remember her laugh and smile, the way she squeaked when I kissed her hard. The way her eye kids would flutter. How she automatically curled into my chest when we slept. I eventually passed out, my hand holding the necklace tight.

•×•

I came around with a sharp gasp. I sat up with a wild roar. Someone dumped freezing cold water on me.

"Get up. We gotta go."

I groaned. My head was pounding and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Fuck off." I growled. Feeling extremely sorry for myself.

"Get off your ass and move. If I can walk for three days with my insides trying to fall out, you can walk back with a hang over."

"Why? Why do I need to go back, Winston?"

"Because you moron." He sat down beside me, glaring at me. "Why do you think now if all times Gally and I showed up?"

"How the hell should I know?" I snarled.

"Because we came to help with the rescue!"

"What rescue?"

"Slinthead." Winston growled. "Jessie's you idiot! And the rest of the kids. We came to help with her rescue. Gally and I with the others from Several outpost in the Right Arm figured out where they were holding her. We didn't trust the air waves, so we came in person. So get up off your drunk ass and move."

It took a long time for my brain to process this.

"Wait what?"

"Did you think we were sitting on our butts out there? No! We've been working too. We found out where she is. And after that..." Winston waved his hand around, and looked out to the ocean waves. "Bucky, Vince and that Jorge guy decided to get her now."

I tried to get to my feet. "I gotta...I need to..!"

"They left already." Winston said flatly. He hadn't bothered to move. I flailed and collapsed to the sand again.

"What? Who? Who left?"

"Everyone in the rescue mission left."

"Why was I left behind?" I roared, anger flaied up side of me.

It didn't seem to affect Winston, he just looked at me with an are you serious look, he raised an eyebrow at me.

"You took off and drank yourself stupid. You think your stable enough for that kind of rescue? No one could find you for a long time."

"How'd you find me then?" I challenged.

"What would Jessie do." He shrugged. "She'd run as far as she could until she'd collapse. Clearly I was right."

I stared at him for a long time. Then hung my head. "You know her almost better than me."

"Maybe. But that doesn't mean she loves you any less. Or you love her any less."

We sat for a few minutes in silence.

"When...when did they leave?" I finally managed to ask.

"A few hours ago. We can go to head quarters, Vince is on comes with Bucky and Jorge."

I nodded. Winston got up and held a hand out for me. I grabbed his hand he pulled me to my feet.

"So...how come you stayed behind?" I asked as I got my balance. My stomach heaved, but I managed to keep everything down. The world spun for a second.

"Well, considering Jayjay thinks I'm dead, it would be a bit of a shock if I showed up."

"True. Where's Gally then?"

"Someone had to show then where her and the other kids were. He'll have his face covered by a mask. He's also better at the whole solider thing." Winston shrugged.

I was scared to ask, but I did anyways. "Who...who else went?"

"Jorge and Ryan. Gally. Bucky, Teresa, Newt Thomas, Laurence, Jason, Aris and Brenda."

Sonya didn't go. She had a harder time than the others...Janson knew Jessie cared for her.

"It had to be a smaller group, didn't want too many, they took the Berg and Bucky is leading it. Vince is back in the control room with Fry. Ann, Mary and Jeff are preparing for what might come...what kinda shape the kids will be in...I don't know. They are on their way to the Last City. They have to get through WICKED's barricade and defenses and into the huge WICKED facility..."

I hung my head. I felt the shame hit me like a broke wall. I lost it, I made myself look like a fool. I couldn't handle it, so I was left behind. It took a while for us to get back to the little image. I ran a long time apparently. And I was passed out for a long time. I waved off Winston's suggestion if swinging by the medical building for some pain killers. I just grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen and we went into the control room. On our way we ran into Sonya who was wondering aimlessly around, looking shaky and lost. Winston and I grabbed her hand and took her with us to the control room.

Vince looked up and held a finger to his mouth. There were a few other Right Arm men and women sitting around different computers working furiously. Vince, Frypan and Harriet all had a set of headphones on with a mic attached and a fancy comb in his hand. Harriet sat beside Fry, both working furiously on the computers. Vince nodded his head at us then flicked a switch and Winston, Sonya and I could hear what was going on. Frypan was at some kind of device that was a mix of old school radio and new tech computer screen for us to see.

"Watch." He whispered over his shoulder. I leaned forwards and on the small computer screen I could see a fuzzy black and white video of the rescue team in the Berg, it was weird, seeing what someone else was seeing. Jessie had said she used one escaping the way station. A small microchip technology, a camera so small you couldn't detect it, but it aloud someone else to see what you were seeing for a short amount of time. We were getting a Bucky's eye view.
There was also a digital map, with a small red blinking dot, which obviously was the berg.

"Mockingjay One, Mockingjay One, you are one minute out from perimeter defence." Vince spoke into the head seat.

"Going dark." Came Jorge's voice.

The lights inside the Berg flicked off. It was a lot harder to see now. My anxiety rose and formed a tight ball in my chest. My stomach twisted and it had nothing to do with the hangover. It was a few tense minutes of silence.

"Mockingjay One, you are 20 seconds from perimeter defence. Ten seconds. Nine... Eight...Seven... Six... Five...Four... Three... Two...One."

Sonya and I glanced at each other, I was holding my breath, every muscle in my body was tense. There was suddenly dead air for a moment. Sonya was clutching my arm tight in hers. Her breathing was shallow.

"No response from perimeter defence." Ryan's voice came through the comb all of a sudden. The room exhaled.

"We're inside WICKED airspace. Gear up. Switching to Night View." Bucky's horse whisper came through the combs.

"There. Command, we have visual on the WICKED compound." Jorge's voice said.

The fuzzy black and white picture wasn't very clear, but there was rustling and movement going on. Everyone pulling helmets and gear on.

"Initiating final approach."

Sonya was whimpering beside me. I lopped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her tight. I needed her comfort just as much as she needed mine. Winston was holding her hand as well.

"Masks on. Prepare to deploy gas."

In the little screen we watched at the hatch opened. Bucky dropped canisters of sleeping gas.

"We will confirm once inside. Get ready to drop. Clear. Drop."

Ropes dropped down from the Berg hatch and people in all black jumped down, sliding down the ropes. My eyes were wide and mouth clamped tight. I don't think anyone in the room was breathing.

"Clear. Command, we're inside."

There was a breath of release. The communication room sighed.

"Heading toward target number one. Cell P45 lower level 2C. Gas."

A noise like metal clattering on tin was heard. A few dull thuds. It was quiet for a moment and then doors were pushed open. A few WICKED guards were laying passed out on the floor.

"What is this place?" Someone asked.

Bucky looked around. Medical instruments that looked like torture devices. All kinds of serums in injections. A chair stood in the middle of the room, it had an eerie haunted feel. The metal restraints stood open and empty, but there was clearly old bloody stains. Wires and electrocution chair, all kinds of medical technology, brain scanners and other science lab equipment.

"Vince?"

"I'm losing them!" Harriet cried suddenly.

"Powering back up." A man responded as he furiously typed on the keyboard.

"Caption...WICKED's air defense system is rebooting. It's coming back online." Frypan called, he was also doing something on the computer he was sitting at. 

"They must be diverting power from another source. Another 60 seconds and we'll be cut off!" Harriet was panicking.

"Captain? Should we call back the hovercraft?" Someone looked up from their computer, there was panic in the room.

"Broadcast me." I suddenly said. "If Janson's watching this, maybe he'll let the signal in, if he sees me. Put me on the air so he can see me."

"Us." Sonya said with a small squeak. "Broadcast us. He used us to break her. Worth a try..."

"Yes. Yes, okay." Vince nodded. "Put her on."

"Can we do this? Can we still get in?" the woman in the corner asked. 

"Give it a second." Fry called. He was furiously working. While someone else set up a small camera as fast as they could.

"There..." 

Vince nodded at Sonya and I.

"Janson?" Sonya called. She was white as a ghost. My hands were shaking, I reached for Sonya, and together we held each other together while we tried to keep Janson distracted. 

"Hey you ugly Rat!" I spat bitterly.

"B5 and A7." Janson's nasally voice cut through the tension, and then his twitchy face appeared on the screen. It took everything inside of me not to flinch "What an honour. I don't imagine you're calling to have a nice little chit chat." 

"We never asked for this. We never asked to be thrown into the Maze." 

"We were children ripped from our homes, our families." Sonya added.

"Bucky? Come in. Bucky?" Vince whispered, trying to get the guys back on coms.

"We never asked to be Immune to this disease." I called, narrowing my eyes at Janson.

"Bucky, come in!"

"You couldn't run from this testing and research...any more than you could have run from the Trials." Janson smiled curly at us. His eyes were even darker then they were when I was trapped with him. 

"Command, I need a situation report." Bucky's voice crackled through the coms. 

"Bucky, we're running out of time. Hurry." Vince whispered urgently. He glanced at Sonya and I.

"Let's move." Bucky instructed his team.

"Command, we're at the first target. Preparing to extract Jessie. Will confirm when she's in hand." His com was in and out and more staticky then ever.

"Mockingjay One, prepare hovercraft for evac."

Fry was waving his hand like he wanted us to keep talking, while he tried to do something on the computer with one hand.

"You asked me every day if I loved her, and if I was willing to take her testing. You wanted to see why I could break her mind control, didn't I prove it was love? Didn't I prove that you couldn't erase the deep seeded feelings? Maybe there is no cure for the damn Flare, so why keep throwing a full generation of kids away?" 

"B5." Janson smiled at her and then his dark beady eyes flicked to me, and they way his face twisted into a malicious smile I shivered and I felt my heart drop into my stomach  "A7...it's the things we love most that destroy us. I want you to remember that I said that. Don't you think I know your friends are in the WICKED Compound?" Janson let out a wild wet cackling. 

"Cut them off!" Janson yelled.

The video screen went blank and the comps went staticky and then dead. 

"Bucky, come in!" Vince cried.

"No!" Winston cried and he lunged forwards, now the three of us stood to panicked to move.

"What happened?" Sonya cried, turning to Vince and Frypan. Panic on her pale sweaty face.

"Bucky, come in. Do you read me?" Vince cried again.

"He knows that they're in there. It's a trap." I cried finally, putting the pieces together, finally understanding what Janson said, his last sentence. 

"Minho, hold it." Vince snapped. 

I could feel the panic coming. I couldn't breath through the tightness in my chest. My head felt clouded and started pounding. My hands were becoming hot and shaking.

"We have to get a hold of them. We have to tell them to get out. He knows!" Sonya cried, she had tears streaming down her face." 

"There's no signal." Frypan finally cried.

"We can't contact them. There's no signal." 

"NO!" Sonya screamed, and collapsed. "I'm going to loose them all, Minho, I'm going to loose them all! Newt...Jason and Jessie!" 

I felt myself loosing it too. I was going to loose my best friends, Thomas, Newt, Jason... and the girl I loved more then life itself. Sonya and I were both hyperventilating, we both spiraled out of control, into full blown panic.

•×•

"I'm sorry." Winston whispered. "It's the worst torture in the world. Waiting, when you know there's nothing you can do." 

We sat in one of the bedrooms, waiting. There wasn't anything left to do. Winston and Frypan ushered us out, and brought us here. Nana Ann helped calm us down and brought some tea. She couldn't stay, but Winston sat with us. We all were tense and anxious. Vince and Harriet worked furiously trying to get the rescue mission back on line. Bucky's eye camera had also stopped working. They were completely unreachable.

 "Especially for people like us." I muttered miserable. Meaning the ones Janson tortured, we were so broken. How Jason and Aris managed to fight through it...thought they didn't have it as harsh as Sonya and I. 

"But whatever strength, courage, madness, keeps us going, you find it, at times like these." Winston said, he sat on the bed opposite us. He placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forwards. "You have it, soldiers. It's what's kept you guys alive all this time. And it won't fail you now."

"How do you live with it?" Sonya whispered. She had silent tears sliding down her cheeks. 

"I drag myself outta nightmares and there's no relief in waking up. But... it's better not to give in to it. So I'm learning. I've realized it takes ten times longer to put yourself back together than it does to fall apart." I said slowly. 

We both took a shuttering breath. We sat in silence for a long time. Winston's head hung low, elbows on knees. Sonya laid her head n my shoulder. And I sat string at the wall, telling myself to breath in and then breath out. The door banged open. Frypan stood in the door, breathing hard. 

"They're back."