My mind couldn't take it. I ripped my hands away from his grip with a wild cry. My body shook, the tremor in my hand was awful. The chain attaching my cuff to the bed shook. The words of the Minho in my nightmares, the Minho who was in my cell came back. He screamed at me. Tell me how horrible I was, telling me I'm a monster a feral animal that needs to be put down. I couldn't get the screams out of my head. 

"Stop! Stop! Get out! Get out! No no no, Stop!" I screamed. 

I tried getting free, but I was stuck, I thrashed and yanked on the chain. I could hear them all screaming, everyone I hurt, everyone I killed, I heard them screaming inside my head. I slammed my head back into the bed over and over. I was stuck, I was strapped down. 

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed, as I slammed it back into the bed again. 

"Jess, it's not real. It's not real. None of that is real." 

"I'M A MONSTER! I'M AN ANIMAL! I'M A MURDERER! A KILLING MONSTER! I'M JUST A WEAPON!" 

"No. Not real." 

As I continued to thrash and scream, as my head jerked and twitch I could hear scuffling and other frantic voices. It just made it worse. The doctors were coming to take me to the chair. They were going to strap me back down. I screamed harder. I pulled against the restraint so hard I could feel it cutting into my skin. The voices were wild and frantic. Hands were grabbing me, trying to hold me down, which just made me cry harder, I fought like hell. They weren't going to strap me back into that chair without a fight.

"...Take it off!"
"It's not safe son!"
"It's not safe right now! Look at her wrist! Just do it!" 
"Just do it Vince." 

I struggled against the hands. My restricted hand was freed. Now I was free. I flew forwards, trying to get free. Whoever was trying to pin me down let me tackle them. We tumbled off the bed. I felt a hand on the back of my head before we slammed into the tiled floor. My head was cradled safely, and I landed half on top of the person. I tried scrambling up, but they grabbed my hips and yanked me back. I twisted and tried throwing fists. They were caught and pulled tight. Arms wrapped around my back and I was forced into the person's chest. I could feel their arms straining. My head was forced down, so I couldn't head but or slam it into anything. With my face pressed into their chest, I got a full nose full of their scent. 

Laundry soap, spicy deodorant and mint and something else that made my brain hiccup. It was familiar, made me instantly feel safe. My mind struggled with itself. 

"Out loud. Use your words Jess." 

"I'm bad..I'm bad. I'm a monster. An animal...He tried to kill me. I tried to kill him. He made me suffer, just like I made them suffer. He thinks I'm a monster. But...but something..." I screamed, trying to slam my head. "MY HEAD HURTS! WHAT'S REAL?" 

"Jess...I will fight for you. I always do, until my heart is black and blue. And I will stay, I will stay with you. We'll make it to the other side like lovers do." Words washed over me. There was something soothing in them. "You wrote them. You wrote those words. And I'm not going to give up on you. I'm going to keep fighting. I'm going to love you and there's nothing you can do about it." 

I still tried fighting, My body was shacking still. My entire body hurt, my stomach was twisting and my head was pounding. 

"Shh. Jess. It's going to be okay. I'm not giving up on you." His voice was quiet, gentle. It was whispered into my hair. "Deep in the meadow, under a willow. A bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes. And when again they open, the sun will rise." 

"I know that...I know that..." I whispered to my self. "Real? Not real? It's real...I know it.." 

"Yes, baby it's real. Shhh." His voice gently soothed. I could feel his arms weren't so tight around me, a hand held the back of my head still, but it wasn't forcing my face into his chest. I slowly twisted so my ear was against his chest. My eyes were still clamped shut, tears still leaked out and down my face, and my body still shook. 

"Here it's safe, here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you."

My arms were trapped under me, but I had them laying flat against his chest, I had slowly closed my hands into fists, clutching his shirt tight. The hand at the back of my head buried into my hair, his other hand stayed flat against my back. 

"Deep in the meadow, hidden far away. A cloak of leaves, a moonbеam ray. Forget your woes and let your troubles lay. And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.

Here it's safe, here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you."

My body shivered, I just lay and whimpered, too tired and sore to fight anymore. I had given up. I could only fight for so long. Nothing happened. The arms around me stayed firm, but gentle. He didn't move off the floor, I could hear other people in the room, but they were quiet. Their muffled whispers, the shuffle of feet. What my mind picked up on was the steady rhythmic beating of the heart right under my ear. 

I don't know how long I stayed laying on top of him, but I didn't want to move. It wasn't that I felt safe, I never felt safe anymore, but this felt familiar. I heard scuffling of the feet come closer, a muttered conversation, and then hands tried to slid under me and pick me up. It sent me back into a fight or flight and I cried out. My hands clutched the shirt tighter, my body stiffened and I tried clutching him tighter. 

"Stop!" He cried. His arms tightened and his hand buried in my hair gently scratched my scalp, playing with my hair. "Shh, Baby it's okay. It's okay, I got you." He whispered.

"Okay Jelly bean." The hands disappeared. "Stay." 

"Jess, I'm going to sit up." 

I whimpered, and tried to curl up tighter. 

"No, you don't have to move. I have you tight and safe." He reassured me. I felt his muscles tense as he sat up, keeping his hold on me. "Okay, I'm going to stand up." I felt his arms shift, one behind my back and another under my legs. He got to his feet. The movement of him stepping backwards. He sat down on the bed and then slowly lay back down. I shifted, pressing my face into his chest again, blocking out all the light and noise. My head was pounding and I was exhausted from fighting. I was still shivering and shaking, whimpers still made their way out. A blanket was placed over us. The bright florescent lights were turned off and it was dark. 

"Shh, Baby girl, it's okay now. You're safe." 

"Again?" I whispered. I was scared it was going to burst and the dream would disappear, that this quiet moment  wasn't real. 

Deep in the meadow, under a willow. A bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes. And when again they open, the sun will rise. Here it's safe, here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you.

"Deep in the meadow, hidden far away. A cloak of leaves, a moonbеam ray. Forget your woes and let your troubles lay. And when again it's morning, they'll wash away. Here it's safe, here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you." 

The tension in my body slowly eased. While he sang the song, his one hand slowly and cautiously rubbed my back and his other one gently petted my hair. I felt my mind pulling me into darkness of sleep. 

•×•

Minho:
I held her tight in my arms. I had longed for so long to do this; her back in my arms. It wasn't the happy reunion I had pictured, but after watching her for two weeks I knew it wasn't going to happen the way I wanted. It took Jorge chewing me out. 

"Stop moping around Son!" 

"I'm not." 

"You are! I know you love her. So pick you're ass up and go see her!" 

"She tried to choke me out! You didn't see the fear in her eyes. Or the murder. The scream...I wont get out of my head." 

"Yeah. And she delt with that shit for nine months. No end to the screaming. You've sat here long enough watching her, listening to the conversations she's had with others." 

I looked away, my teeth grinding.

Jorge folded his arms, and leaned against the wall, He looked over his shoulder. Jessie was sitting on the bed, her wrist still chained to the bed, but she was throwing the bouncy ball at the wall for Sam, as he jumped round trying to grab it. "You've listened for long enough to know she has real memories of you." 

"That doesn't mean I'm going  in there!"

"She's strapped down. She can't hurt you." I flinched. I had seen her grab the cuff a few times when they asked if she wanted if off. Even she didn't trust herself. 

"No. This is different. Jorge, I don't want to." I shook my head. I felt the guilt wash over me, but I couldn't force myself to see her fear again. How she coward away from me, how she was so scared her pupils dilated so big the blue in her eyes disappeared.  

"It doesn't matter what you want, Minho. It's for Jessie. What's the harm in trying?" 

I shook my head. My arms were folded tight across my chest. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to do it. Jorge looked at me with disappointment, he sighed and ran a hand down his face. 

"You know she took on more torture to save you, right? The least you could do is go in there and talk to the girl you love." 

I growled, I spun on my heel and started to walk away. 

"Winston is going in tomorrow." Jorge called. 

I froze for a moment, ground my teeth and continued walking. 

Now, I held her tight to my chest. The guilt of waiting for two weeks, making her think the lies that were fed to her were real. I felt terrible. My pride and ego had been bruised. Jorge was right. It was about Jessie, and her healing, not me. I had months to heal, I had months to come to terms with everything, Jessie had none of that. It was time I stepped up and showed her that I wasn't what they made her believe. It was time for me to show her she wasn't what Janson told her. 

As I lay on the floor with her tight to my chest, I could feel the sting of tears. She hadn't tried to fight me, but she was obviously struggling with something. She was fighting herself. She had grabbed onto my shirt and pressed her face into my chest. I felt like the worlds biggest jerk for leaving her for two weeks. I should have been there the whole time. I forced the tears back and looked around slowly. Winston was crouched down beside me, a smile on his face. 

"You got your girl." He whispered. I gave him a small smile. He patted my shoulder and he got up and left. Bucky and Jorge both looked a mix of shock and pride. They looked like they weren't sure if they needed to come and intercede, or back up and leave. Jorge gave me a smirk and nodded, "Proud of you son." then he also left the room. 

Bucky was the last one, and he came over and squatted down. 

"You alright?" He had asked quietly.

I just nodded.

"I'll put her back on the bed." 

He went to pick her up but she instantly started to fight, clutching to me tighter. 

"Stop. Bucky stop. It's okay." 

He pulled his hands out and backed away. He indicated to the corner, where he backed up and leaned into the corner. I whispered to her as I slowly got up, taking her with me and lay back down on the bed. My stomach fluttered and my heart picked up when she shifted, and lay on top of me, her head on my chest, her hands tucked around me. Like how she used to sleep back in the Glade. Whether she did from muscle memory or because she knew, but either way, I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath. Bucky pulled the blanket over her shivering body, and then flicked the lights out. 

"I'll be right outside if you need." 

I just nodded again. I felt her body shivering and heard little whimpers.

"Again?" 

She had said it so softly, pleading for a sliver of familiarity. Her voice was so haunted and broken. It was just like the time back in the Glade when she asked me to sing it again after a night mare. Feeling slightly more hopeful I gently rubbed her back and sang the little lullaby. I felt her ever so slowly release the tension. Not all of it, but enough for her body to allow her to sleep. Her ragged breathing slowed down as she drifted off to sleep. She limps would twitch every now and then as her body pulled her deeper into sleep. I picked my head up and kissed the top of her head. 

I stayed awake for a long time, just holding her, playing with her long hair. It was slowly getting life back to it. Proper food, care, sleep, healing, it was helping bring life back into her frail malnourished body. Maybe now, I could help with that, help sort  out her confusing memories. Ann kept saying it was working. Encouraging her to talk out her thoughts, encouraging her not express her feelings, and have people she knows help clarify what she was confused about. 

"I wont give up on you Jess. Forever and always, I'll be there for you. I promise." I whispered. 

I finally closed my eyes, Jessie's rhythmic breathing and her weight in my chest was soothing. It was familiar, and I wanted this every night for the rest of my life. 

•×•

× Are we back? Is Jessie & Minho back? ×
×A Little fluff-ish chapter for yall. :) ×