Helloooo Everyoneee

How are you all doing? Hope you and your loved ones are doing great!

Surprise!! Surpriseeeee!

Whats wrong with me? Am I here – with the fifth update in a row??????????? Oh yes – I am here with exactly just that. The story has just picked up a flow of its own in my head and this author cannot help but oblige..to keep the flow..going..

BINGO _ TO -5 in a row! I don't think iv ever posted – 5 in a row before!! Have I?

Anyways - I Absolutely loved penning this down. So excited for you all to read this!

I'd also like to take this moment to express my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you for being with me on my writing journey. For all the love and for all the patience – always! Like I always say – you all are a part of this enriching learning curve of my journey as a writer too. So thank you to one and all – for your time and support – Always!

And okay so now without further delay I shall let you all dive in.

Word Count – 5.2 k Words

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7. Skipped Beats

Five Hours 30 Minutes Later

@ Cairns, Airport - Australia

Khushi's POV

We are all in the middle of picking up all our stuff from the belt after completing the security check in – here at the airport.

We – who?

Manizeh, me and about six more of our unit members from our project survey here at the Barrier Reef.We are all teamed up together for the next eleven days of project in Sydney as well, which is quite cool for we already have the work sync rhythm going in between of us. But this time around, the difference is that we won't be like offshore on our research vessel. For this next leg of the project kind off focuses completely on photographic detailing in context off the Coral Reef's that inhabit the under-water ecosystem in the waters surrounding Sydney. So technically, we are just going to get on our boat at the harbour, every morning – and sail to different zones of focus – dive in - and work on collecting the photographic data we need. We are scheduled to stay – in a serviced accommodation near the Harbour.

I hear almost everyone around me sighing in collective relief and chatter whilst winding up the tech stuff back in their bags.

Why? Because – we can't believe we actually made it in time – for our scheduled flight to Sydney. We did get delayed a bit during the offboarding process back at the harbour at Cairns and most of us who were scheduled to hop on the mini van to head straight to the airport – were obviously eyeing our watches all the while. Sometimes – our travel schedule and flight itineraries just end up being like neck to neck...

Anyways- so glad we made it. I hear Manizeh whisper – " I can't freaking believe it...," in my ear from behind now as I finish hauling my handbag on my shoulder and I admit the same to her nodding - " I know right. I can't freaking believe we made it on time. Imagine if we missed.What crazy abount of last minute would that create for the logistics team? Like - For a second, I literally thought – we'd miss the checking – in – time.."

Manizeh shoots me a ridiculous look now pulling me by the hand aside giving the rest of our team members around a casual smile – " are you crazy? Khushi? who say's I am talking about the flight????"

I look at her – " then what are you talking about???"

She rolls her eyes – " My context is – that I can't freaking believe it...that Arnav texted you that last bit. Thank you for never hating me Khushi. And for letting me know the same...too...actually not just that. The entire talk the two of you had. Like ever since you told me about it all on the van enroute here – my heads been going in an overdrive – thinking – like – what to just assume of that?????????? like the implication behind? Underneath all those lines??? You know how like every bit we say – has some sort of a hidden meaning in it???????? Babe, I am still in shock that this is what it was about. The dude wants to seek an apology, sincerely? Like - He was really fearing you 'd just be out here hating him?????? Like he mentioned – that's been his worst fear for a long long time...??????????"

My insides – Flip.Flop.And Groan. I should have known; she'd bring it up the minute we were done with the security check in.

I admit in a whisper shooting her a look – "well, thank you Manizeh. The part of my mind that was glad that it had got all occupied in the rush of last-minute stuff on the vessel, then offboarding, travel here – etc etc – and had been successful in shifting the analysis of my conversation with Arnav in my head – is kind off requesting you to shift your interrogation to later – please?? Can we not talk about it now? Later. Please..maybe tonight..."

She holds my hand firmly shaking her head – " No, no, just no postponing this crucial analysis Khushi. We gotta do this now. Over coffee and croissants? K? your perfect comfort food. You cannot say no to that,"and just by the look on her face I know – she won't let me get away and so I just give in with a nod.

She guides our way to the nearest coffee shop and gestures me to sit at a round table that seats two– adjusting our cabin bags by the side in tow as she says – " you just sit..here and wait for me? I'll get us our favourites..K? we still have 40 minutes until boarding.So,We got time.."

I nod and watch her head to the café station nearby and my hand reaches out to flip my phone out of my pocket.My mind's tempting me to just go through my conversation with Arnav – again – and just as I begin the process – I feel the same varied range of emotions flood my heart...that I did feel when this bit actually happened a few hours ago.The emotions that I know I need to accept and process...and acknowledge...

I am in the middle of my chain of thought – when Manizeh pops back in the seat right across of me – about five minutes later – placing our coffees and croissants on the table.And she takes in a bite of her croissant almost immediately and says – " okay, then. Go on.Shoot....out with it now...for I know..it's not like you are not aware about what you are feeling. That look on your face is known to me. You are aware, and in the middle of a deep thought process.."

I sigh and sip my coffee and end up smiling instantly – " well...it is a huge blessing that you know me in and out babe..."

She grins – " I know right, okay...go on...no diversions from the topic of context... out with it all now.."

I admit taking a bite of my delicious croissant – " well, honestly. I am as surprised, confused, and conflicted in so much wonder as I was few hours ago.And yup all of that - at the same time Manizeh. Not only because off all he said but also from the bit of him being like I wana text you in the morning. I'll msg you when I wake up so that we can resume our conversation? Like uptil that bit – I simply had been thinking to myself – okay wait – this is probably just about him sincerely seeking apology that's all. So that he can work through any guilt that exists in his mind on my accord, which is why I was so upfront, honest and to the point with my reply. So that just had me wondering next – what does he mean by ill text you in the morning – again? That threw me off guard – totally...and..and...now..,"I pause to gulp down my food knowing she'll get the look on my face.

She does.Obviously.She reads me through – " and now you just feel like conflicted too...for you wana know..more on that already. You want him to message you so that you can know what more does he want out of it???? I mean now that you have taken the dive...you cannot pull back mid way..you just wana...know..exactly what he wants from you?"

I nod sipping my coffee next – " exactly...dammit...oh damm..now you know what I mean by the bit that this dive could just be a huge risk too..dammit..."

Manizeh nods and says after a 30 second deep thought – " I understand, but I insist on the same again. Just ask him. The bottom line is either way you will know. Like see now you know he genuinely was fearing you hating him – which anyway is still a freaking surprise to my mind for it's being like oops..Manizeh..what if khushi genuinely doesn't find any reason to dislike him in present today, because well for real – I did not expect him to like sincerely start with this and all after...like at all....all of that is still pretty much a sign off the nice guy vibes..."

I sigh leaning back into my chair saying out loud to her keeping my hand on my heart now knowing that I can say this realisation out to her without any filter – "Exactly.Wana know the strange bit, I discovered though??..,"

Manizeh nods.

I admit looking at her in the eye gesturing to my heart – " even through the maze of thoughts that's still got me lost in part wonder+confusion+conflict – it actually feels nice...you know..to actually feel something in here – because of the present – and not the past – I mean my heart did skip a gazillion beats in a few minutes of our conversation..like it hadn't in freaking seven bloody years...so despite the bit that a huge part of my mind is being all like – what's even happening????? My hearts kind off glad to feel something – that's not just ache....or nostalgia....ugh..babe..why is this so complicated for me ya?"

She nods in an instant – " I understand...babe...I really do.....hmmm..so...what now?? say if he texts again..what will you say??"

I shrug and bite my croissant - " I don't know...I honestly don't know..this is exactly where I need your advice.."

She smiles sipping her coffee– " and...my advice is...just go with the flow of it all Khushi...what if you discover that it might feel good ...you know...just going with the flow..after ages...."

I sip my coffee and continue eating feeling my taste buds bask in the comfort of one of my favourite foods once again. I ask her out loud mirroring m y helplessness – " isn't it crazy? Why do I feel like I am freaking destined to be like the doomed one when it comes to Him. Like why does my heart only opens up to going with the flow – with everything Arnav in context yaa...???"

Before Manizeh can say anything the beep in my phone catches our attention.I pick it up from the table.

Crap.

Its Arnav.

Already. On Whtsapp.

My mind does the math. Its what? Like 815 am in India right now. Didn't he sleep late? What's he doing up in few hours?

And before I can even say anything – I hear Manizeh ask curious – " the look on your face?? Wait..is it him??"

I nod flashing my phone to her face – "Yes...it's him.."

She insists, pulling her chair closer to mine now – " go on read it.."

I do.

Arnav : Goodmorning Khushi.What's up?? I am on my way to work. Got 45 minutes in hand. Please tell me you are fee to chat? Did I catch you in time?

I gape at Manizeh gulping down the sip of my coffee – " Why is he writing this so normally as if he's not like popped up with this after seven long years. He's totally being like as if – he's been asking me this everyday???????????what do I say?????? I freaking can't think of anything."

Manizeh glares at me as she says – " you do know what going with the flow..means? right babe? Don't think much....k?"

I nod – " okay..then...ill just be casual...too? "

Godammit.

Are my freaking fingers trembling on me again?? I hand my phone over to my trusted bestie as I say – " you type...what I speak...I need to freaking get my fingers to calm down first...godammit..I don't know whats up with them...they won't stop trembling...,"and my mind notes down another point of discovery. They won't stop trembling – because they are freaking feeling exhilarated with the emotion of chatting with Arnav. After Ages. It is not casual. It obviously rekindle the memory when we used to like chat /write to each other all the time.In the past..

Manizeh nods grinning.She's stoked I'v handed my phone to her for now – " this is fun. I don't mind doing this like at all. So..tell me..What do you wana say?"

I say what I want to as I keep rubbing my hands amidst one another so that my fingers are able to ignite the much-needed calm and she types my reply.

My reply : hello...Arnav.Goodmorning to you. Nothing much is up. I am just in transit at the moment.Waiting to board a flight...that's all. Isn't like just 8:15am in India right now? You slept little.

His reply comes instantly which I read on my screen along with Manizeh.

Him : Little, yes maybe. But it was the best sleep I had in a long long time.

I look at Manizeh.She grins – " dude, do you want me to ask him what that means?"

I shake my head – " No...I don't want to know what that means.."

Thankfully. His text comes next.

Him : Oh you are in transit? when does your boarding begin?

Me through manizeh typing assistance : in 35 minutes...

Him : Good. That means – you are free to chat for a bit? Had breakfast?

Me through Manizeh's assistance : Yeah kind off. But that was in a rush. Just having a quick byte at the airport now. What about You?

Him : Eating it in the car right now.Quick question – do you still love croissants?

I choke on the croissant bite that was in the middle of its transit down my throat. He remembers?

And before I can say anything to that. Manizeh writes on her own grinning from my end : Its crazy that you remember. Its also crazy that I am technically in the middle of munching on one.

Him : Really? are you?? why is it crazy – if I remember?

Manizeh looks at me and I say my reply.

She types for me : I don't know, what to say to that?

Him : Okay. So - Aman say's Hi. He's right here with me. Remember him?and Meera?? They are happily married now. Aman's my business manager so we are pretty much like two peas in a pod still. They live right across of me in Mumbai.Meera's now an amazing artist. She has an amazing art gallery here in Mumbai.She asked me to say hello – too.

My eyes well up at that ofcourse. I ask Manizeh to type out my reply.

She does : Ofcourse, I remember. Both of them. Say my hi – back please. And of course I know they are married now -Arnav. So happy for them.I sent my best wishes to them through Mini Maa on their big day. Tell Meera - So glad to know that she's finally opened that art gallery she always wanted too.

His reply comes in a second : You know what I am glad to know???????Khushi???????

Before I can even say anything, Manizeh types out at the speed of light – grinning : What????????

Him : the bit that you are working as a research diver with NatGeo man. Like how freaking awesome is that! I still remember this was your dream goal right? So, freaking proud of you for reaching to it. I literally wana know all about the projects you'v been on. I bet they'v been very interesting experiences. I'v been in sheer awe of you – man. Its really super cool feat. Khushi.

And as Manizeh and me both read that – we both gape at each other in shock and surprise yet again and she hands the phone to me now as she asks with a deep thought up her head – " you wana type yourself now???"

I look at her in shock nodding – " did he just ask me that? I mean, he's the famous rockstar now – and he's sounding like he's more fascinated with my expeditions underwater..."

Manizeh says – " that's it – Geunine Sincerity signal alert. I think this is where I officially declare – you might not find anything to dislike about him in the present. Khushi...for real. Do I need to apologize for triggering you into this???"

I shake my head – " no, don't apologize..."

She sighs in relief – " you are glad I triggered you into this then??"

I give her a look – " can we talk about that later?"

She nods and I get on with my reply now that my fingers have stopped trembling and have gone numb in shock again.

Me : okay wait...you know? as in? you know what I do now? since when? I thought you stopped – like inquiring anything about me long ago when you..anyways...I can't freaking believe you remember this was where I wanted to be...and thanks for saying this..

I tap send. His reply comes in twenty seconds.

Him : Khushi..I won't lie on since when I know. Its recent.I began asking Mini Maa about it all.. after I asked her to get me your number days ago...but that doesn't change the bit – that I am so stoked for you. Truly. You surely got to tell me about your expeditions – k?

Me(Shooting Manizeh the look that I really want to say this out of genuine respect and regard too) : okay...thanks...again...for that..and its been a very interesting journey for sure. On that note – only fair that I admit - I am really happy for you too. Arnav. I mean – look at how far you have come in your dream career - today. I am so happy for you...too...

Him : so... You know?

Me on reflex with my fingers having no control over what they are writing now : what do you mean so you know? of course I know.Your songs hit chartbusters like everywhere like all the time...Arnav!It was impossible to like not know....like any indian had to be living under the rock to not know....and I do not live under the rock...Arnav..

I tap send to that.

Him : Its relief to know that...you know?

Me : huh?

Him : You know I'd often wondered – if you'd stopped keeping a tab on me like all together and just forgot about my existence too.

Me : the internet wouldn't let me forget about your existence even if I wanted too forget– Arnav.

Him : Were there times – you wanted to forget about my existence? Ever?

Me (Honestly) : well, no.Not Really. that would have been the case if I'd hated you. You now know my honest take on that...so..yeah..

Him : So for all these years..ever since the minute Rabba Ve became a sensation overnight - many times – I'd often think to myself after releasing a number. Wait – has Khushi heard this? And if she has...What does she think of my singing now?????? Like I really wished – you 'd be out there listening...to it all. Have you been listening to it all. Answer me please. I need to know.

My eyes widen at that and so does Manizeh's as she silently gestures me to keep chatting in the flow. I succumb.

Me : well, its not going to be fair to your singing talent to lie on that. Yes, I have been listening...Arnav..

Him : all of it??

Me : Yeah..kind off...all of it...you know..like..no matter what happened. I couldn't stop appreciating your talent for what it is.

Him : thank you..for letting me know that. so..what do you think of it? my singing?

Me : really? you asking me this? Like not like I am some expert – as if my opinion even matter.

Him : answer me..please? You opinion matters. It always did. Always will..

The flustered tides of confusion continuing to consume my insides. What is the meaning of all of this? Why is he saying it that way? I type nonetheless honestly : well, from an honest audience point of view - the singing is amazing.Obviously.Arnav. Like again - do I even need to say that? You career graph is a living legit proof of it. You have always been gifted when it comes to what you do. Glad that the world sees it now.Finally..

Him : thank you Khushi. You are truly among those who have witnessed the seeds of this journey.So it obviously means a lot to hear from you finally about what you think of my singing...you believed in me – always. Even when in those low moments of initial struggle here in Mumbai – when I'd doubt myself. About time – I thank you for that wholeheartedly again...

Ah Tides of confusion continue. Also the minute I read that, I am also reminded of the vision in my head off him and Syna in the videos on Youtube.

I look at Manizeh as I shoot her a silent look that tells her that I really need to ask him this and she nods back in understanding next ) : Arnav...hold on...hold on...one sec...I am really confused...right now...my confusions literally legit taking over

Him : confusion??? about what?

Me : about what is happening right now? I mean – why are we even chatting like this?in the first place?right now? like...what's the point? What do you want from me???? like - I understand you messaged because you probably wanted to apologize and stuff. You are a nice guy, always have been. So I understand – if a part of you has been feeling guilty and stuff all the while. But then – I told you honestly right – there's no hate at my end for you at all. Never was. It's not like I hold anything against you for wanting the comfort off real time relationship around you back then – instead of a screen time virtual one with me? Honestly – deep in my heart back then – even I knew – it was a enough test of your patience already to keep going on..with me..without ever seeing me in person for four long..years... so please know...that...I just understand – k? I literally don't have any grudge – even a tiny miny one – against you?k? So now that you know that – can you just clear the air..and tell me..what the rest of this is about then..?what do you want from me?

I tap send.Feeling so much lighter within. I am so glad I asked this straight up – right very now.

Him : You really want to know what I want from you????????

Me exchanging a look with Manizeh : Yes. Please. What do you want from me now???????? Look – back in the past - You'v always been super clear and straight forward in your approach.So just don't beat around the bush right now too and be cut and clear with me okay? What is this about?? just what do you want?

Manizeh leans in now holding on her breathe as she says – " godammit..even I am freaking curious to know what he replies to that..."

Phone beeps.

Him : Are you sure? You want me to be completely honest about that???????

Me : ofcourse...I am sure. Just be honest.k?

Him : okay then. You asked for it. The answer to that is simple. For starters – I want You to meet me. How about I answer the rest - when I actually see you.

WAIT.

WHAT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FREAKING HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DID HE SAY??????????????????????? Did he freaking just write that to me outta the blue??????????????

Wait.Not outta the blue.My mind reminds me that it asked. But now – my hearts freaking stopped beating at that for it doesn't know how to react. I just asked him what is it that he wants from me? And did he just say – I want You to meet Me???????????????

God Help Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Manizeh gapes at me too eyeing my screen– " damm him....has he always been this way – like all direct – bold - upfront – to the point??,"and she answers that pretty much to herself as I nod at her with all of me paled.She's known the version I knew of him from the past through me obviously – " oh yes. I remember. He's always been that way. Dude Khushi...you look like you'v been hit by a massive thunderbolt..."

I gulp down the emotions that were beginning to swirl up in my throat as my mind reminds me not to succumb to that and I finally type.

Me : huh???????? Did I just read you right?

Him : Yes, you did. You asked what is it that I want from you. My answer stands - I want you to meet me.

Me (at the speed of light) : why?

In a nanosecond.

Him : Because, all – all of me wants is to just freaking meet you dammit. Khushi. Its been what 11 freaking years since I'v seen you in person in front of me. Since – you'v seen me in front of you. Don't you think, it's about time – we meet?

I end up typing on reflex too late without thinking : and whose fault is that??????????? Arnav?? Flash News : Last I remember, not mine.Clearly..

Oh.Godammit. I regret having sent that.

One minute later.

Him : yes, clearly the responisbilty of the former lies with me. I know. Look I am just being honest. You asked me to be – right? Wants wrong in wanting to meet you Khushi today?? What's confusing about that? We'v always been such great friends too. Honestly, I'v just missed my friend, the one I grew up with. A lot. All these years.Haven't you?Look, just meet me – please?

The emotional tsunami within me – continues to increase in magnitude at that as I look at Manizeh shooting her a knowing look now all of that – " see...ugghhhhh - I was right..wasn't I? he just freaking wants to be friends again...Manizeh....he wants to meet on that accord surely ,"And I feel my heart revolting in self-defence already – " no...no...I can't do this...I cannot be like just friends with him..ever... ..."

My phone beeps again.

Him : All I want is to meet you once. Please. Don't say no...

Manizeh nods at that sighing but she takes my phone in her hand and scrolls through the conversation and she says – " hmmm...well...I know this threw you off guard..but if you don't respond and dodge it directly, he might just think it affects you so deep within to even think off meeting him.Like as if it frazzeles you. Like we know it does that. But do you want him to have a clue on the same?

Uh-Oh.

Once again, she's brought up a brilliant point. Dammit. I have no option but to be casual about this.

His text comes again.

Him : just say ..you will think about it – please?

I type out now taking deep breathes : Okay Say, even if I think about it. It won't be possible for me to meet you anytime soon coz of my work schedule. I am on a work tour in a country across the globe – from India. So maybe some other time..down the road...Arnav..

One minute later.

Him : I know. I know where you are Khushi. You are in Australia, on a research trip. You are boarding that flight to Sydney – in what ten minutes next. Right?

Me : what the?? How do you know? Did Mini Maa tell you?

Him : Nah.Mathhew Dad did. And as luck would have it - I have a musical concert tour Of Australia with my contemporaries starting in the next couple of days. Our first stop is – Sydney. We are going to be in the same place in real time – after what like – 11 years - Khushi? won't you meet me still...???????

WAIT.

WHAT????

WHAT DID HE JUST WRITE?? HE'S COMING HERE. HE'S GOING TO BE IN SYDNEY – TOO.

I GAPE AT MANIZEH.

She grins – " this Raizada dude..he's seriously A DEFINTION OFF A freaking thunderbolt.."

I write back quickly : What ?? what did you just say? COME again? you will be here in Sydney soon?

Him : Yup. As soon as the next 72 hours soon. Cmon we can surely plan it out right? Just meet me? I know you have work schedule. I do so too. but we can figure it out??

OKAY.

Okay.

That's it.

I am legit going to have a heart attack right here. My heartbeats have freaking been on a crazy rollercoater. I hand my phone to Manizeh now all frazzled – " how am I supposed to react to this Manizeh? Did he just say he is coming to Sydney?????????? Mere few hours of him being back in my conversations after seven long years...and all of my within feels like...its back to being in an emotional havoc as it was before he left.....godammit....what do I do????????? He's going to be here soon...he wants to meet...what do I say...???????????"

Manizeh nods taking a deep breathe herself now – " well...for now..you can just say..we'll see...depending on your work schedule.."

I nod and I type just that.

And his reply comes a minute later.

Him : ofcourse...like I said as and when your work schedule permits – Khushi. if you give me a heads up about it ...I will find a way to come to meet you – come what may – k?I hope you will think about it.

Me : you will find a way to come meet me come what may?

Him : Indeed, I will. I just really want to see you in person first.

I damm my nerves for they are going into an overdrive of their own at reading that . Thankfully, our announcement for boarding rings through my ears now and I write to Arnav quickly with a casual cover up.

Me : okay...hmmm...so...we'll see about that when you are here. So,Boardings announced. I really gotta rush. Arnav...bbye for now.

Him : okay. Have a safe flight. Take Care Khushi

Me : thank you. You too take care..

And with that – I finally just shuff my phone back into my handbag as I gulp down the glass of water upfront on the table as I say – " c'mon...Manizeh...lets get going? We gotta plane to catch.."

Manizeh gives me the look getting up – " yes lets go.....but hey... you okay??"

I admit using the movement of walking at a fast speed as an excuse to expend out all the nervous energy – " yeah...I will be....I guess...I mean I am frazzled and shaken immense at the mere thought off seeing him in real like in front of me as soon as like in a couple of days....I don't know if I am ready...hell...a part of me surely wants too...but then...I...I...if I don't meet him, itll come across to him as if he's still a super big deal to me emotionally. I don't think I want him to assume that.But seeing him...just him..me..godaamit..."

Manizeh says now matching up with my pace and wrapping her hand around my shoulder before she pulls me into a big comfoting hug – " shh...just relax..it will all be okay...I am right here..K? I'll come with you – if you want. Amaar and Samarth are anyway coming to see us over the weekend too right in Sydney? We will all be with you...if you don't wana do this alone...Khushi...so whatever you say..k?"

And I can just hug her hard at that for a second as I admit – " okay...thank you for saying that...babe..thank you..really.."

She pulls back and asks – " the hearts stopped racing and skipping in its beats yet??,"and we resume our walk.

I admit honestly – " Not really...yet...,"and just like that as I admit that to her – I come face to face with that conflicting discovery yet again. The discovery that – despite the racy mess I was feeling within at the moment– This is surely that another moment...that comes with a profound realisation off...how deeply my heart had missed the experience of - Just Becoming Alive in the ways that surpassed the descriptions off its otherwise confined vital biological functions – within my body...

Ah.Dammit. 

DAMMIT.MY SKIPPED BEATS..

Godammit - My Skipped Beats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...........................................................

TADAAAAAAAAA!!

How was that guys to end the week with???

Next Update – On Tuesday/Wednesday – K?

See you soon guys! Take Care! Have a Great Weekend!

Much Love* Infinite Gratitude – Now&Always

Prachi