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36 – Heart to Heart

As Khushi waited for Arnav to come to the terrace looking out at the dark skyline around just lit up with the housing lights of the area around, she couldn't help but let the flow of overwhelmed tears just flow off her eyes. He had been right. Arnav had been right, so very right in the premise he'd pointed out to her when they were on their way here – in the car yesterday night.

What premise?

That even though – so much of Lucknow had changed in these years – there was so much of it that still was the same. The feel of the city - still felt the same. She could also say the same – for their Orphanage surely. Even though it had been renovated in interiors since her last time being here drastically – the feel of it all – was still the same. The feel of Mini Maa's comforting arms+ Matthew Dad's heart-warming hold on her head as he consoled her when she wept, was still the same....

The laughter, the warmth, the vibe within the orphanage stemming from the budding growing kids here was still the same....

The dedication and love by the entire staff on house was still the same too...even though there were so many new faces amongst the team...who surely recognised her even though she'd technically met them for the first time.Perhaps, they'd been used to hearing about her from Mini Maa over the years???

She was right on that thought, when she feels her phone buzz in her track pants pocket with Manizeh's text checking in up on her, stating that she(Manizeh) hadn't been able to sleep in worry at her end.Khushi sighed and quickly replied mentioning that she was finally about to talk to Arnav addressing the context, and asked her not to worry on the same. Within seconds, she had a relieved text come in from Manizeh which led to a brief chat amongst the two- as Manizeh went onto text that she'd just let in Samarth, Amaar and Ellie aunt on the same too on text, for them to see in the morning upon waking up.

(Ever since she had arrived here, yesterday night, Khushi only been chatting with Manizeh, Amaar, Samarth, Ellie on text – because she didn't want them to worry too much listening to her heavy emotional tone in voice because she'd been swaying in between breaking down in front of Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad ever since anyway...)

After asking Manizeh to get her nights sleep, Khushi finally put her phone back in her track pants pocket, and turned around in her frame and began walking to the across end of the terrace where the water tank area was – as another set of fresh aching tears left her eyes.

Heavy, overwhelmed tears, emotionally poignant tears...

Why?

Not because of the onslaught of emotions and conflict she was feeling within now but because of the onslaught of the memories that just came in on reflex...as she walked in closer to the water tank and the wall corner+alleyway+ small store area around it...

The memories of how this was that very spot where in Arnav had first kissed her. The memories of the much younger, teenage her and Arnav kissing here madly for hours on days + the tender emotional memories of their moments here - on the night before her departure to Fiji.The memories of how they'd both hugged one another emotionally for hours clinging onto one another, kissed one another madly for hours – hoping to delay the rise of the sun – coming up the next morning for it would bring along their parting....

Oh, how emotional she'd been that night. How emotional he'd been that night!!!!!!!!!!!!

She closes her eyes as the memories continue to replay in her head. Even though, literally these memories stemmed from a time that was ages ago in her life persay – somehow in her heart they seemed as fresh as if it were yesterday.And as in come the memories of the loving words, the promises made with each other - on her last night here....Khushi opens her eyes on reflex...touching the water tank..with her hand....pulling herself back in her head to the present...almost shivering in emotion...as all that had happed post...along with the truth she now knew and the emotional chaos they were both in...within...made it back to her head.

It was right then she heard Arnav's footsteps coming in closer and his emotional voice fall into her ears from behind as he asked – " you remember? Khushi?? you remember...don't you?? this was where...we....first...,"and he paused as if wanting her to complete the sentence.

Racing up to the terrace , Arnav had decided to just run upto Khushi and pull her straight in his arms first, exclaiming in delight how relieved he was that she was finally ready for a talk. But then, when he came up and spotted her walking to the water tank+ little alley+storage space up there – her vibe all emotional – he'd momentarily frozen in emotion too as similar memories from their past had returned to consume him too. Memories, of their first kiss...memories of how they'd spent tender moments here..before her departure.

He couldn't help but feel consumed by all of that too, with Khushi being so lost in emotion that she hadn't even sensed his presence there...yet. It was only when he thought he almost saw her shiver in emotion as she kept her hand out on the tank, tenderly, he'd voiced what he had, too afraid that the emotion would choke him sooner or later anyway, given that he was sure she was also reliving all that had happened post the very tender memory they'd both been reliving in their head – on finally coming to the terrace that had been their cozy emotional spot - back in time.

Not having in her heart to go on with just silence anymore,at finally acknowledging the feel of Arnav's presence around her close behind - Khushi just whispers on reflex - " you were rig..h..t...wh.e...n...you...mention..ed...that..eve..n...though...so...much..has changed here....so...m...uch..of it...i..s...still..the..sam..e....so...much...is still the same....here..."

Arnav stays put in his spot at that as he whispers – " well, not a direct a answer to my question...ba...by...but...ill take that for starters..for sure....I am glad...you agree on that..."

He hears her whispers again at that – " it feels the same here...like...i.t...fe..lt...age..s...a..go...here ..as...in...at home...with Mini..maa...and Matthew Dad..."

Arnav stays put in his spot at that as he nods – " I know...it feels the same...baby...I know...guess what? though? always felt the same to me...everytime I came upto the terrace here in the years gone by when I did...for coming here..always rekindled...our tender memories from the last we were both here..Khush..i....y..ou...ha..ve...no..idea...how..on my visits here...in the past...I'v spent hours here...in your...memories...in our memorie...s...."

He almost hears her choke out a sob as she whispers – " surely, you'd imagined this moment of us bei.ng...here...at the terrace...togeth.er...differently...hadn't...you??hell...I'd imagined...it...differently...so..probably you don't need to answer that..."

Arnav bites back a sigh as he says taking a step closer from behind her – " glad you know that....glad I freaking don't need to answer any of that...but you tell me...why don't you answer...the bit I asked you first to begin with?haan?? you remember...don't you?? this spot...here...us...years ago..was where...I...where we..first...,"and he pauses in hope waiting for her to complete his sentence finally.

And does she?

Indeed, she does.

Driven sentimental by nostalgia momentarily, Khushi whispers on reflex – "ofcourse...I remember...I remember it...all...I...tol..d..you...I neve.r...f...or..got...a...thin.g....Ar..na...v...n..ever...so...how...c...a.nn...I...forget that...t..this...wa..s...where...we...fi..rst...kiss...ed....where you...fi..rst..kissed...me...where...I first...kissed...you....,"and as she finishes whispering that out all emotional, unable to turn around and look at him in the face too still – she just finally leans her head forward so that it rests on the water tank and just lets out a deep heavy sigh, because this moment also made her realise all over again - how much she'd been missing him in the present...how much it had been aching to have this distance in between of them in the present...

Arnav took another step closer to her from behind fighting his own emotional turmoil as he whispered deep in emotion – nostalgic tears swimming in his eyes on reflex – " I know...you were reliving all of that..plus all that happened...after and to the present...whilst walking across here minutes ago...weren't you...Khushi??,"and as he finishes saying that he sees her nod for a second in silence again – her vibe way too emotional and overwhelmed.

Damm it though.

Again silence??? No he couldn't have her go into that zone again..

He takes a step closer from behind and asks again – " you wanted to talk right?? you asked me here to talk ..right? finally? Then lets just keep talking... please?? no silence again...know what?? just yell at me?? shout at me dammit...take out all that anger/frustration..and then lets deal with it...once and for all...Khu...shi...we can deal..with this...you know..we..can..."

He waits for an answer.

He gets none for the next ten seconds. Dammit. This was killing him so much. He whispers now on reflex wiping a tear outta his eye taking another step closer to her. Now she was just two steps away yet why did it feel like she was further off – " I miss you...Khush..i...I Miss you so godammit much....in the present dammit...I miss us...ever since you got to know the truth...you'v barely spoken twenty sentences to me...the only times you'd let me hold you...is when...you'v succumbed to crying....and then you'v gone back to give me only silence...again...you do know what this invisible wall from your end is it doing to me..right???? don't you dammit??," he sighs.

At that he finally hears her whisper brokenly – " I know...you miss me....I k..no..w..what's my silenc.e...has bee..n..doing to you...yes...I know...tha...t..."

And now unable to have her back to him – Arnav finally takes the next couple of steps forward to her, turns her around to face him by holding onto her arm glad she hadn't pushed him away instantly – and cups her face emotionally as he asks – his teary eyes meeting her red teary ones, his thumbs wiping her tears away – " you know you miss me...great..so glad you know that. So tell me then, what about you??Dammit? don't you miss me?? haven't you been missing me??hasn't this been killing you?????all this while????"

Dammit Him.

Khushi lets out a curse under her breathe, as it all snaps for her and she clutches on his collar now and retorts hotly - " dammit...you....how dare you even ask me that...as if you don't know the answer..,"her eyes now flashed to him angrily as she snapped further anyway – " ofcourse...I bloody hell miss you....dammit...of course...this is killing me as much...,"And she also went onto curse him next again and herself to in the following breathe for not having it in her to push him away...right now...as the electric vibe in the moment – radiating from the two crackled the air with its mix of overwhelmed emotion+ frustration(From his side) – and overwhelmed emotion + anger(from her side) – as his eyes lingered on her lips.

Heavens knew, her body had just gone into a zone of its own at finally feeling his vibe all up and close after all these days...or perhaps...it had everything to do with the bit that the two were finally in the spot by themselves where they's first kissed for the very first time and all the tender memories of the spot also continued to onslaught her deep, but all a part of her suddenly wanted to do was to just jump into his arms but she didn't. She somehow refrained and just she glared at him angrily and snapped further – "dammit you.......and you know what's ironical...even though....while coming up here...all I'd planned was to just yell my heart at – you for everything that you did...put yourself through...put me through...put us both through...for years...I suddenly feel like...I just don't have it in me to even yell at you dammit...I have so much to say to you..and yet...I just feel like...I don't know..where to begin...I don't freaking dammit...know...where...to begin.....,"and she pauses knowing that he could witness her anger now melting into pools of just sheer sadness and frustration completely.

And heavens knew, as Arnav heard that from her - all he wanted to do in the moment was to just kiss her hard first, pull her in his arms the closest, and just lose himself to her lips. The physical aspect of their relationship had become a solid part of their love language off latee..perhaps...if he just kissed her...he'd be able to pour all that he had been feeling?? For her to sense??????? Perhaps, that was from where he could begin - again? That would ease his ache?? Their collective ache??? Given that technically they were also standing put in the spot where they'd first kissed....

Taking his chances, sure she could see the emotion in his eyes, Arnav wiped the tears off her face again and brushed his thumb over her lips and he whispered looking into her eyes desperately – " then just shatter this wall in between of us once and for all dammit...if its killing you too....and lets begin to deal with the aftermath...and if you don't know how to begin shattering it...about time I remind you how because...I know..where to begin shattering it from....Khushi...,"and he pauses as he spots her eyes swim with a gazillion emotions. He goes on reflex – " kiss me..dammit...kiss me now...and let me kiss you mad and senseless too..first to begin with...let our lips do the talking until words come to surface...and once they do...just pour your heart out to me...and I will pour my heart out to you....remember how we were coping up?all the while?prior?with our past? We were sailing through it because of our present...the present was powering us through our rapid fires of truth...the letters we wrote and burnt...the heartfelt conversations..."

And just the mere reminder of this from him – makes Khushi say angrily but does not shove his hands off her face somehow his simple touch giving her some odd sense of comfort in the moment too – "and that just reminds me...that even amidst all of that..all of those moments as we were unloading our baggage of the past...you didn't come out clean to me...with the truth yourself...oh you never would have...how do you think that's making me feel??"

Arnav sighs as he caresses her cheek – " disappointed, and sad, angry and frustrated...I know...I know...,"and he goes on to add – "look...I know that...Khushi...but...now we both feel like we are drowning in this particular baggage of our past, because you'v cut the sails on our present by drawing these walls around us in the presnet...dammit....lets unleash the sails of the present again...ba...by...and see...that perh..a..ps...it will give us both the courage to face these tide..s...."

He hears her whisper honestly – " perhaps...that's not the only reason why we are drowning in this particular baggage of the past...Arnav. More so, also because , that this bit of it was the heaviest freaking load of it all..that you kept secret from me...all the freaking while..."

Arnav admits on reflex caressing her cheeks further – " indeed, it was the heaviest load Khushi...there is no denying that...but I also assure you..that now that you finally know...you know it all...like all...there's no more secrets...Khushi...no more...secrets...at all...in between of us...I promise...."

Strangely, that bit from him brought her some respite as she askes her lips quivering her sentimental gaze holding his – " are...you...sure??no more sec...rets???"

Arnav reassures immediately – " no more...secrets...ever...again...Khushi...I promise....I freaking promise...,"and when he spots that hit her emotionally momentarily he finds his gaze linger on her lips momentarily on reflex as he brushed his thumb over her lips again whispering after a intense pause – " I want to kiss you...I want to kiss you so freaking bad right now....this was where we first kissed...Khushi...exactly...here...w.a..s...whe..re...we..first kisse..d......just let me kiss you dammit...don't cut our sails in the present longer...please?? do you have any idea what it did to me everytime you pulled your hand away from me when I tried to hold it...in our transit time here???????butchered me...dammit..."

DAMM FREAKING HIM.

DID HE JUST HAVE TO REMIND HER THAT – the former and the latter bit ??????AGAIN???

ALSO, WHY WAS THE IDEA OF KISSING HIM?AND HAVING IT BALM HER ACHE – SEEMED SO TEMPTING MOMENTARILY?

IT SHOULDN'T SOUND TEMPTING – AT ALL. NOT WHEN SHE WAS STILL SO FREAKING FRUSTRATED WITH HIM....FOR HIS ACTIONS...DESPITE ALSO FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM ALL OVER AGAIN... FOR HIS INTENTIONS...

Conflicted, Khushi clutches onto both sides of his tee as she snaps, even though he'd leaned closest to her lips – " just how?? how could I not cut sails to the present until now?when this high tide from the past drowned me so bad... dammit you...I was not talking to you...because I wanted to avoid lashing out at you...freak you..dammit you...but flash..news...perhaps...there's no way...repressing that....anymore???"

Arnav nods and whispers leaning closer to her lips even more – " exactly, no point repressing any of that...baby... also...I will say this gaain...we can't drown due to the past...Khushi...babby...we cannot drown...we must swim...our way...up...our present is our lifeboat remember....this is exactly where I remind you the same..."

Khushi sighs frustrated unable to push him away from her but still not able to close her lips over his though knowing it will divert her mind completely – " I know that....dammit...I know that....our present is our lifeboar...and I am so frustrated with you and myself right now for it feels like...I am unable to get past my frustration over the consequences, the hurt within, despite also falling hard for your sincere intentions...dammit..."

And Arnav places his finger on her lips first immediately just wanting to lose himself in a sentimental kiss – "shh...sh.... kiss me first..dammit...and let me kiss you hard...first...that will shatter this wall...and then...we'll talk...we will talk...dammit...call me crazy...but being with you here right now...after all these years..is driving me nuts Khushi....I know we got so much to talk but all I can majorly think about...is taking your lips with mine hard...like I did first ..years ago...back then...we were just teenagers... .....I know you'v been going through the onslaught of the memories...in your head too...,"he pauses tears streaming down his face freely now – as he remembers how hard he'd wept post her departure + the nights after cutting off from her

Khushi says frustrated as she felt herself whisper cupping his face now wiping the tears off his cheeks on reflex – " yes, I have been reliving all of that in my head..along with the memories of all the promises you made then..all the promises we made...remember?the promises...we ma...de...loo...k...what came...of those..then...huh?how does that make me feel in retrospect??? you broke our promise..then?? Arnav...you broke it hard...you just chose...by yourself ...you chose alone...you made choices for us alone...choices that killed us both...then.......a part of me is so freaking mad at you for all of that and yet a part of me is going all emotional due to your sincere intentions always....after all I heard from Aman, Meera, Mini Maa, Matthew Dad....in account of all that you'd been through...why??dammit?? just why??? Why do you love me this way????????? for me...anything you will do?? even if that involved...breaking my heart then????????????????dammit you...don't you understand.....how much you risked with your choice then too?? like here...it turned out differently for me and I couldn't ever forget you...but what if I had?? What If I had truly moved on with another??? Then what you would have done haan? freaking suffered all your life like you had been... in fear in guilt for years..?????????????????with me being oblivious to it all....you tell me dammit....what if I had truly moved on??????then what?would you have freaking done?????????????????????what joy were you going to get out of your noble choice then haan????????????"

That's it.

Arnav lost it.

He lost all his composure as he heard Khushi remind him of the possibility of her having moved on – the fear that had ruled him for long and he was sure she could see it all snap for him in his eyes – as he instantly shoved his right hand into her hair, pulled her closer and he whispered so that his breathe was fanning her lips, now anger and frustration pouring out of him – " do not remind me of the possibility of you having moved on for good with anyone else...due to my errors for years...right now..dammit...how can you?? especially now...when you know..what it did to me????????for years????don't you freaking understand???? I did what I did then thinking of you...just you...I ...guarded it all for years...for you...just for your sake...Khushi...my intentions were always...in your interest..."

Khushi sighs frustrated – " why?? Why??dammit?Why? why must I not remind you of the former...haan???why??????coz it hurts??"

Arnav nods instantly and she whispers hotly – " Guess what...rockstar???? It hurt me too.....your choices back then..butchered me too....keeping it hidden from me...hurt me too...no matter what your intentions..."

Arnav asks hotly all frustrated – "so....is it going to be tit for tat then? you wana hurt me more now in the present??? Is it what its going to be...Khushi???well, flash news, then...you'v been succeeding at it...quite brilliantly...I must say..."

Khushi answers back all frustrated – " see..this is why Iv been conflicted...part of me knows...if I say my mind..pour my heart out...I'd end up hurting you...if I don't ...I am hurting you too nonetheless...just what do I do??,"and she eyes his emotionally broken frame as she asks – " clearly...you'v been feeling infuriated with me for not prioritizing your intentions...right?? and just focusing on the consequences??oh I so know you are furious with me....just say it..dammit...just say it... ,"and at that she hears him whisper broken the frustration evident in his eyes – " really? do I have to say it now? isn't it obvious,??"he adds – with fresh tears oozing out of his eyes.

Dammit.

Khushi whispers fresh tears oozing out of hers – "dammit...and I am infuriated with you..because your focus is the intentions and not the consequences and for me...it's like vice versa...in retrospect...why did you have to break my heart on account of someone else then??"

And Arnav asks dejected in the moment – "and why are you freaking breaking my heart in the present today...on account of just yourself though?? I know I made a terrible mistake...despite my intentions..but is it necessary for you to blindside my intentions altogether?????and break just not my heart right now?but yours too????,"and fresh tears continue to flow off his eyes.

Unable to stand the hurt in his eyes with those heavy fresh line of tears– Khushi finally fists her hands into a fist and bangs on his chest and succumbs to just pulling him into her arms as she hugged him tight and whispered clinging onto him hard– " I don't want to break yoru heart dammit...or mine...I want to fix this mess...I desperately want to fix this mess we both in.....I am trying to figure out how...am trying...,"and at that as she feels Arnav hug her the tightest she just whispers broken – "hold me dammit....and cry....first...you too just cry first......I'v been doing it enough...you do it..too...or perhaps...we both just do it...simultaneously.....my intentions are not to break your heart...or us in the moment...Arnav...trust me..on that..plea...se....."

And what could Arnav do then, once he felt his heart sigh in relief on hearing that from her??

He just hugged her hard into his arms and cried..it out hard. And,seeing him cry that way...she just began to cry it out hard herself too.

He was wrong.

Arnav was wrong.

It wasn't a kiss – that could have shattered the wall in between of them this time around...it was once again the act of both of them..crying it out in each others arms...hard...finally...that did the bit..

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About thirty minutes later

Emotionally exhausted, amidst all the vent out of tears, Arnav kissed Khushi's head as he held her tight in his arms. Somewhere in between them both being a messy vulnerable pool of tears they'd both just seated themselves on the ground and had found back support against the water tank – as they held onto one another and just wept and wept....

He asks now softly – " can we just atleast hod onto one another this way and get talking?Khushi?? atleast..this is better isn't it?? feels better?doesnt it? rather than feeling lonely and dejected??"

Feeling him drop a tender kiss on her head now makes Khushi admit to him exhausted – " well yes...feels better than lonely and dejected for sure...,"and as she feels him clutch onto her arm on reflex as a gesture to get her to begin saying something she whispers wiping the drained last tear drop from her eyes leaning her head on his shoulder – " you surely remember? There was once a time..where I was so freaking mad at you..for placing my interest above any of yours....or your own heartache...we were at odds then..for days too...remember??"

Arnav sighs at that.His gut somehow knew she'd start with that and he admits – " indeed...I remember..,"and he hears her ask softly – "When was that??Arnav??"

Arnav sighs – "it was when your adoption came through...you didn't want to go..leaving me behind...yet I was on my spree to convince you..somehow..."

Khushi sighs now closing her eyes recalling the moment – " I was so angry..then...remember?yelling at you not to prioritize just me over us.....because I didn't want to leave you behind...and honestly this moment...the aftermath of processing the truth just feels like that moment of odds too...ever since...why?? Because the day before I left was the day you promised me...that the moment of asking me to leave here for my own good..greener future...was going to be the last one you'd ever prioritize just me over us...and...yet...yet...you just did the same thing again...,"and she leans up to look at him finally as his eyes were closed in overwhelming emotion and she admits – " you do realise...your choice then..cut me off everyone here...too...this part of my life here too dammit for years...Aman Meera cut me off...Mini Maa and Matthew Dad would barely call me...everyone..just wrote me off....literally including you...that didn't do me any good for years...Arnav..know that...no matter how much I am trying to digest past the let down betrayal feeling...that comes along with it...I am unable too....dammit..."

This time around – she watches him zone into a silence – as he keeps his eyes shut to her – his frame thoughtful though.She just cups his face now sitting up straight a little and caresses his cheek – "and now...I also come to know...the mess you'v been through..its clear that...there's so much still that you got to unload in this context Arnav..in front of me....the anger of the past, the frustration related to Daddy....,"and she pauses – suddenly not happy with the way Daddy came out in flow for the man who'd messed up her love life and she mutters under her breathe – "Can't believe I called him...that...again....in the flow..."

At that – Arnav finally opens his aching eyes as he whispers honestly – "Well, you are right about that though...there is still a lot I have to unload on that accord in front of you..."

Khushi whispers – " plus probably the bit..the ache of me never even catching a huff of this...I mean...I don't know about you...but...I sure hell feel so freaking mad at myself about that as well...we got so much to deal with in the aftermath...its complex...Arnav..

Arnav sighs.

Khushi sighs.

An intense silence consumes the two again momentarily and Arnav asks – " I know...so..what..now?? what do we do know?? don't you think..we can work on this...by using our burning letters technique??"

Khushi shakes her head in a doubt – " might work..a bit...but not completely..at the moment..we are both frustrated and in ache with this we are at odds deep within situation...despite the love...and we need structured healthy release of it all amidst us two in honesty too...in order to heal..without being obsessed with the fear of hurting the other with the weight of our vent....like if we have to get past this in between of us..we have to do it healthily...for our collective well being..rather than supressing what we feel...or brushing it under the carpet...don't you think so??"

Arnav sighs but holds onto her hand glad that this time she didn't pull away – "fair enough...I agree to that..no point...repressing anyrhing in anymore..Khushi...,"and he locks his gaze to just ask sincerely though – " but you do want to work through this..with me..right??"

Khushi sighs as she clutches on his hand – "ofcourse...dammit...I want to work on this for you, for me...for us dammit...once again....I just want you to feel like you can safely express your ache of the past with me...without worrying about me feeling whatever in the present because of it..and vice versa too....,"and just as she says that she pauses – because an idea strikes her mind – immediately making her feel all relieved within as she whispers – " know what??? I think...I just figured it out????????? I figured a way out for us...Arnav..."

Arnav asks inquisitive– " what is it??"

Khushi – " you are to leave to Mumbai in two days..so maybe..tomorrow...,"and she hears Arnav shake his head – " I might not go back just yet...Khushi.."

Khushi sighs– " you have your recordings....Arnav..don't back out on those because of me...please??,"and she adds as she sees him shrug – " okay..first hear me out...I was thinking...if somehow..we can get Alok on a zoom call tomorrow and begin talking to him..perhaps even take sessions with him..here on regularly?????we'd be able let go of our vents..in a more structured and most importantly guided manner? I mean no harm in seeking...help amidst us..when..we clearly feel we need it...as hitting this bump??plus ...Alok knows us both..in some way..he'd relate to us both...plus..give us unbiased thir eye guidance and perspective...and we don't have to worry about secrecy too...we know..he'd guard it...given that he's a professional...."

That – strikes Arnav in a Bingo – immediately too. Alok was also one of their childhood friends from the orphanage who was now settled in Delhi. And Alok was now – Dr Alok – who was also practicing therapist and counsellor. He asks Khushi now as it syncs in again – "so you are suggesting..we begin to seek..couples therapy with Alok...to get past this in between of us..Khushi??"

Khushi nods instantly – "exactly what I am suggesting...Arnav and I am not suggesting just a one of talk with him..like let him decide if we need more sessions...together to address this...what I am saying is....I want to get past this...for us...for good..and right now..seeking therapy together as a couple..facing turmoils...seems the healthy way to go about it..to my mind...because...once we begin digging in to this aspect...surely a lot will come out of both of us on so many tangents..so....what do you think?do you want to work on this...this way???with me??Arnav??? once again...not going to be easy..we will both be extremely vulnerable...we'll experience..expressing anger..frustration...disappointment...together...but we will also experience that sense of release and receive guidance together...too.....so...what do you say??,"and she observes his thoughtful frame.

Did he want to work it out this way??

Hell, Arnav felt like indeed this was the best way to go about it – perhaps, they both needed regulated guidance in order to how to cope up and deal with this..for good??

Arnav nods instantly at that – "what do you think...I am going to say..Khushi?? Yes...ofcourse...and indeed...we can try to get on a call with Alok...tomorrow...we'll have to check his schedule..though..."

Khushi sighs in relief and she whispers leaning her head behind at the tank now – " great...then...ideally...I'd prefer to do our first call together...like side by side...rest..I guess..we can just follow up on zoom....for in days from now..you will be in Mumbai and soon ill leave for Andaman too..."

Arnav asks now on reflex – "And do you plan to return here only after Andamans? Khushi?and not to Mumbai...to me??"

Khushi admits honestly looking straight at him – " honestly...I'd say...I don't have concrete answer to that yet...Arnav..depends on how our sessions go?? I guess??but as of now...I think I wana just base myself out of here....for good...rest we will see....with time...I guess..."

Arnav sighs but his heart is hopeful as he clutches on her hand – " we'll get past this...Khushi...I am sure..we will.....this will make us stronger...eventually....it surely will..."

Khushi locks her gaze with his now feeling all emotional again as she looks around the terrace - " I really hope..so....too...Arnav...I hope so...too....."

And she hears him whisper – " I think this is where I want to apologize anyway..Khushi....for having all of this cut away from you because of my choice back then...."

Khushi nods in acknowledgement of his apology her eyes hinting to him that she'd process it eventually and she whispers in reply – "and perhaps..this is where I want to apologize for also not just focusing on your intentions bit...Arnav...I know that's hurting you so much....,"and she sees him nod his eyes this time around hinting to her that he'd process it too – eventually.

He whispers to ask nonetheless as he gestures her to come into his arms – " is it okay? if I say...I still feel like I wana hold you and cry a little more...though??"

And just the way he said it – made Khushi extremely overwhelmed and she could only nod as she immediately just hugged him to herself and heard him begin to sob – brokenly – immediately too and within minutes she'd adjusted his head on her lap as he wept and she continued to wipe her aching tears – at watching his turmoil too...the moment...just assuring her in her gut – once again – that surely taking sessions in couple's therapy together – was going to light the way out of the two – from onwards here.....

For sometimes – certain raw vulnerable and boldly honest - 'heart to hearts' in between a couple could be like a double edged thing.If not handled in a guided, structured, and wholesome constructive way – the roots of ache/could become destructive eventually and indeed – there was no denying that – their collective baggage related to this truth from the past – was – a baggage that fell into that very sensitive category...Indeed.

...................................................................

TADAAAAAAAAA!!

How was that guys?????????? Did any of you think that they'd decide to go the couple's therapy way????

Next Update – Will come in on Friday/Saturday

See you soon with the next update guys!

Take Care!

❤️🙏❤️🙏Much Love* Infinite Gratitude – Always❤️🙏❤️🙏

Prachi