
34 - Their Muted Emotional Turbulence
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34 – Their Muted Emotional Turbulence
Several Hours Later
Lucknow, India – Post Midnight – 12:30 AM
In the Car
He felt like he couldn't take it. He just couldn't cope with it. He literally felt like he had, had enough of it....
Arnav couldn't take what?
Cope with what?
Had enough of what???
The fact that even though Khushi was right next to him, looking out of the window in the moment, surely feeling extremely emotional and overwhelmed at finally landing in Lucknow after ages – that invisible wall in between them - from her end - blocking all communication in context of this situation/or the drastic bit that led to it all – was just so freaking evident. It had been that way upon their arrival in New Delhi as well, earlier....
He'd imagined the moment so differently in his head, hadn't he? Precisely why, it was so difficult to digest the reality of it all now – otherwise. Prior, he had dreamt of Khushi candidly and happily – chirping to him in glee while they landed in India, together, for the very first time, with their hands snugged tight. It was supposed to be her first trip back to India – in years. The first one...ever since...she left for Fiji at 14...and the destination in context was supposed to be Mumbai....and the vibe in between the two...definitely a happy chirpy one....
And here...it was anything but that! Quite the opposite on the contrary....
So, ever since Khushi had finished breaking down in his arms – in the garage – she'd quietly requested him for one more thing, before she finally stepped out towards the gazebo. What thing?That along with wanting to leave as soon as possible, she'd preferred if Arnav didn't bring up this topic of context for discussion until she brought it up herself to him, so that it was only addressed in between the two when she was in a calmer state of mind.
She'd mentioned, this wasn't her brushing it under the carpet but more so, just taking time to focus on her emotions and find her sense of direction towards handling it all with him. He'd reluctantly agreed, obviously – even though all a part of him wanted to do was just talk it all out with her – asap. He wanted her to just take all that anger, frustration, disappointment out – keep pouring it out – for he knew that only when she'd emptied those heavy poignant stores from within- would it begin to feel lighter for her – and their collective healing through this could begin...
But - alas – he also knew – she wasn't ready for the process just yet. So what did he do then? Followed her – directly to the outdoor gazebo where the two spent the remaining of the time till morning – sleeping on the yoga mats there. Sleep did not come to him deep anyway, but he'd sensed Khushi dose off due to the emotional exhaustion almost immediately as she lied down on one of the mats.
What had ached him more - in that particular moment? It was the bit that even though she'd rolled out the yoga mat next to him – she'd turned around giving him her back – as she slept...giving him just that achy silence...again....
That was the very first time – Arnav realised what it felt like to have the one you love so deeply be next to you and yet be surrounded by an invisible wall...with an achy vibe so obvious...that it silently screamed out loud to the other...DO NOT TRESPASS!!! And damm, did that make his heart heavier?? Ofcourse, it did. But he let her be, thinking it was this she wanted in the moment. He just had to respect it, perhaps? Eventually, he had succumbed to sleep as well..
He'd hoped, that it would get better in the morning as in, the thickness of the invisible wall from her would reduce in its density – somewhat at least? But it didn't. Not when she only stepped inside - into her room – to wind up and pack up- at the speed of light. Not when he was right there next to her in the room – helping her do the same and wind up himself too. Infact, the wall type vibe was also obvious, when he'd wanted to console an emotional her after her overwhelmed goodbye with Ellie aunt, Manizeh, Amaar, Samarth – before their deaprture...and the vibe just screamed at him silently to just let her be from across...
Ellie,Samarth, Manizeh, and Amaar had – had their one on ones with both Arnav and Khushi obviously. It had been overwhelming for all to process that Khushi wanted to head back to the orphanage for now but they also understood that it was what she needed in the moment as well. Ofcourse, they knew this wasn't her cutting the rest of them away from her but moreso – finding her sense of peace and ways of dealing with the truth that had surely devasted her – drastically.
The saving grace for Ellie was that she knew – Khushi was heading to meet her Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad after ages and she surely hoped that it would soother her wounds in some ways along with her motherly unconditional support to her- in the moment. For Samarth and Amaar and Manizeh, the saving grace was that Manizeh was anyway scheduled to join Khushi in Andamans on the project – quite soon too – so it felt like – it would be okay to just give her+ Arnav - this space to figure things out for themselves...each of them...hoping they'd be able to get through this...
Plus, given that they'd all understood where – Khushi was coming from and where Arnav had come from – they all figured that this situation was just heavy for them both(A&K) – equally – in some ways that were similar and in some ways that were distinct. But the bit that was constant was Ellie + Manizeh+Samarth+Amaar's unconditional support to both of them.
Infact, Arnav had felt that – it was only Ellie aunt's, Samarth, Manizeh, Amaar's support to him in that moment – that was helping him through coping up with the aftermath of it too.
They were all also equally disappointed with Rajesh Maan and no one had – had any talk with him after as well. Infact, as conveyed, it seemed after his little try to talk to both Arnav+Khushi in the garage at 3am in the night – and failing at it – he'd just locked himself in his study in remorse and guilt – again...
And...Then...Arnav had wanted to reach out and console Khushi when she wept silently to herself in the backseat – at finally leaving her home in Fiji, without meeting Rajesh Maan for real – as Samarth, Manizeh, Amaar drove them to the airport...but even then...her vibe just screamed the same to him...even though...she was right next to him.He knew she knew, that he had so much to say to her and offer his support, but she wasn't just in the mood to take it – then. She just totally chose to not address the context with him – at all.
And it had been the same way – all the whilst in long haul transit to India as well. Yes, she was present next to him physically – replying to his attempts to make conversation with the bare minimum words for reply +tight lined formal smile surely but mentally it just seemed like to him that she was on some other tangent altogether within – trying to wade her way through her achy muted emotional turbulence within...
Yup. He understood the ache of it, given that he was experiencing it himself too, but he just did not understand- the active muting – in her stance. It literally felt like she had consciously chosen to be in silent mode – and given that their eyes had been meeting one others in achy silence every now and then still – he'd sensed that this was just as difficult for her in the moment as well?
Dammit. He'd imagined it all so differently..and just what was happening???? Plus...he also didn't know...how to hold onto the physical ache he was feeling within at not being able to hold her hand as well...let alone kiss her...or touch her.It wasn't because of PDA issues obviously but more so because...that same damming invisible wall from her just gestured him to not even try to venture close into her personal space all this while at all..let alone...touch her hand even.......
Dammmm!
And now in the moment, he also didn't know what ached more? What couldn't he cope up with more? The bit that she was right next to him in her overwhelmed emotional mute mode?still? or the bit, that he couldn't even reach out to hold her hand – given that everytime he had tried in the hours gone in transit..she'd just subtly...dragged hers away...
Dammit? What could he do?? What should he say????
This was also the moment, his aching heart reminded him that despite her disappointment with him – atleast she was still next to him? Around him? At least he could see her? Plus she had been - indulging in general bare minimum talks with one liners...at the least???
Maybe...just maybe...he try striking a conversation on general stuff again..? Like he had been trying to all the while??? It was still going to take them thirty minutes to reach the orphanage, given that their arrival in Lucknow from Delhi was so late in the night – Arnav had just told Matthew Dad/Mini Maa that they'd cab it – there. Luckily for them, after the intital fan excitement of bring the one to drive his fav singer – to his home – the cab driver had been playing on Arnav's tracks back to back on his playlist...sharing polite smiles with him from the front every now and then...and Arnav felt like he was grateful to the man for the same given that the music was soothing his own ache in the moment as well...
Wait? Was this the bit that was also overwhelming Khushi??His voice? His singing echoing into her ears at the moment?
Dammit.
That's it. He had to try again. He had to get her to talk. Say something, anything at all...
He straightens up in his seat now and clears his throat and picks up a bottle of water from his backpack and hands it to Khushi on the side as he asks – " Khushi...do you want some water??,"and then hands her some dry-fruit snacks from his backpack too – " or some...snacks? Baby...you barely ate dinner...are you sure?you aren't hungry??"
When he gets no reply but just her shake of the head as she continues to look out the window – he quietly keeps the bottle aside and asks softly now – " really?Khushi?won't you give me the one liner reply also now....and...you will continue to be all silent??? On me?? Like...won't you say anything..now that we are finally back in Lucknow?together???finally??we are heading back to our roots...aren't we?are you sure, you don't want to talk about how you are feeling at the moment????"
He gets no reply yet again to his dismay – just a gesture of her finger wiping a tear outta the corner of her eye as she continues looking out...and a silent shake of her head....in a No...
Arnav sighs but tries further to strike conversation– " okay..okay..alright....if not that......at least...won't you talk about the noticeable changes in Lucknow??from the last...you left Khushi? it's been years...hasn't it???,"and adds in candidly – " as you are looking around...I am sure you noticed...so much has changed...but let me tell you..don't let these changes like over-rule in your mind..even though a lot of our Lucknow has changed...so much of it is still the same...Khushi...still the same...you'll know what I mean....when we reach the orphanage....."
One.
Two.
Three.
Three minutes. He waits for a reply for three full minutes. But when he doesn't get any plus the sight of her just looking out the window still with her back to him sideways – Arnav succumbs to wiping an achy tear outta his eye himself and succumbs – to find some respite in – the MUSIC....echoing through the car...
Freaking Dammit It...he thinks again though...he'd imagined their arrival back in India...as anything but this....
Anything but this.....
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Its not that Khushi wasn't aching herself within – whilst coping her way through the waves of her muted emotional turbulence – all the while. Its not that there wasn't a part of her heart that had been wanting to just drown herself in the support and sincere gestures Arnav was trying to reach her through with at the time – or like he had been trying to all the while in transit....
It wasn't that it wasn't killing her more to just be in this chosen mute mode around him all the while. It wasn't that she wasn't feeling the physical ache on the absence of their physical closeness. It wasn't that a part of her hadn't been craving his touch...
Yes, there was all of that stirring up in a deep corner of her being and yet she'd chosen the mute mode as her go-to all the while for the main reason that even though she was feeling all of this – she was once again feeling the disappointment and hurt over-rule her withins – especially in the time in transit – as it just hit her being over and over with realisation hard that the only reason why she'd been cut away from her roots – had not visited the orphanage – or India had indeed been the byproduct of that devastating decision taken by Arnav back then on account of her daddy...
Back then, just when she'd have been able to make frequent visit perhaps? That door had just been closed shut for her – all because of that decision of his. For years, she'd ached on this account too right? Feeling the ache – at acknowledging within that Mini Maa, Matthew Dad had begun losing out on touch with her.Aman and Meera or rest of their circle – consciously chosing to cut her out on any communication...all the while....
Hell, just because of her daddy's mind games and Arnav's decision, she'd lost out on years of this too – hadn't she? And no matter what the remorse, or his regret on the same, her disappointment – she couldn't rewind time on this accord too – right??? No one could help her rewind time through to years lost...in this context too...
And naturally this just led to a lot of anger bubbling in her again in the moment. Not only at the man who had initiated the context but just yet again at Arnav as well....but given the heavy irony of him being caught up in the situation only because of how much he loved her in his own twisted ways...did not also allow her to express her anger at him yet again. She was already dealing with a massive turmoil within...now she didn't want to land herself in the scenario about having to feel more guilty...by taking it all out on him.
Another reason, why she was just mute about her turbulence within to him was she'd totally reckoned he'd feel guilty himself if she expressed everything in black and white....and dammit...given her dammed heart..she didn't want him to feel any of that too...even though the angry bit of her...was just dying for release too...
All the angry part of her wanted to do was just snap at him harsh with the words – "and whose fault is it?that I was cut away from here...from years...??dammit??,"when he asked that bit about how she was feeling at finally being in Lucknow....
Dammit Him – how dare he even ask her that??????? Wasn't it a freaking obvious that it was aching her brutally to just process the feel of it all simultaneously with the knowledge...that this part of her life had been snatched away from her as well...in the devastating aftermath/consequneces for years....in Arnav's choice of just giving her up then............
No matter how much she also wanted to focus on the present...he heart was just breaking continuously under this particular haunting context too. Perhaps?because? even though she'd been dealing with baggage of the past with Arnav...in these months...she'd never openly addressed this context of her emotional baggage of it..and now given the circumstance...that past baggage seemed to just get way to heavy...to even deal with....
Infact a part of her, was even fearing a massive breakdown situation at her end the very moment – she'd reach the orphanage and see the very sight of Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad....
So – how?? just how could she address this all with Arnav – especially when ironically he was right in the center of being one of those – who had knowingly chosen to put her through this context of ache too in the past......which is why...silence was just the way to go...for now...until she'd gone through the process of massive solid release with Mini Maa on this account??????
But then at the same time...Arnav's singing..his soothing voice..reaching to her ears in the cab as she looked out at the nightlights in the streets of Lucknow...was also just making her over emotional in the moment....as it kept hitting her hard with his side of the story too...over and over again...
Which is why her insides were more in an emotional turbulence of sorts....and not just a little turmoil...
What could she do? to begin finding her ways out?? Of this web???
Was it her fault for being unable to get her head/grip on her disappointment/hurt/anger/frustration in the first place?Was it her fault for feeling like this? Was it her fault for putting Arnav through thus silent treatment??Because she knew it was aching him as much....
She was right on the thought when she hears the tune of Rabba Ve play into her hears with the cab driver exclaiming to Arnav in his fan mode that how his very first song was his all time favourite....
Dammit.
Why did this song come into play now?When she was such a wreck within?When he was surely a wreck within...too?? Perhaps – this was fate's doing???
She hears Arnav thank the cab driver politely on the same as he asks him to raise the volume on the number exclaiming it was one of his favourites too..the closest number to his heart....
Damm him. Khushi knew, why he was saying that...in the moment...to get some sort of a reaction from her...??And unable to control her heart on the same – she finally turns back to look at him at that – feeling his gaze on her and when their eyes meet – she feels a fresh bout of ache – at seeing the heavy emotion in his eyes plus fresh pools of tears puddled in them....
Dammit Him. Godammit Him....
She shouldn't have turned around to look at him because now that his emotional gaze was holding her emotional one...she couldn't deny/not acknowledge the depth of his pain amidst the situation too....
She feels him reach out to hold her hand and unlike the times she'd dragged hers away from him in transit she was unable to do so this time....instead just as his hand covers her..and clutches her...she feels hers do the same as fresh tears ooze out her eyes...and she leans straight into the seat dejected and sighs closing her eyes...letting the tears rain down her cheeks...
She feels him – stride in closer next to her the very next second on reflex as he laces his hand across her shoulder in support and she ends up burying her head into the crook of it – helplessly...as the sound of Rabba Ve playing...continued to echo itself in both their ears.....
She doesn't say a word though. Nor does he. Not because there was nothing to say...but because..the emotions choking either of their throats...was just to heavy to let the words through....Khushi figured...
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Back In Mumbai – Aman+ Meera's Home
Meera exclaims worriedly now looking up from her phone as she sees Aman step out the washroom, quite worried himself – " damm this social media yaa...why can't people stop speculating over this bit with...trouble in paradise for our rockstar ASR..already????like as if...they don't have enough emotional turmoil on their plate to deal with??? Now this?? Like despite the cover up statement...you gave to one of the paparazzi handles...these speculations won't just stop...Aman..."
So, ever since...Arnav and Khushi were seen landing in New Delhi...with the serious vibe on wither faces+ the vibe around the two...obviously the netizens on social media..after spotting pictures of their arrival through paparazzi handles couldn't stop speculating out the obvious seriously disturbed vibe...in the picture amidst the two....
People, were all going like, didn't the two just announce their happy relationship status...not very long ago??and were happy holidaying in Fiji?? So why the arrival into India – be so grim and serious in its vibe?????? Was their trouble in paradise for them already???
And just in between – the couple of hours from landing into Delhi to leaving for Lucknow from the domestic terminal instantly by the last flight of the same day...people also started speculating on the bit...that was it because one of their guardians back at the orphanage fell sick or something??????
As Aman was reached out to – by one of the usual paparazzi reporters – he'd immediately leaked out on those lines...after discussing it with Matthew Dad..citing the very same to cover up the scene for Arnav and Khushi – that yes, the grim vibe was obvious because – they were both equally worried for one of their guardians health...and requested for privacy on the same...thereforth...
But still, the speculations just were getting out of control...online...
Aman sighs now as he sits down in bed next to Meera – " well, Meera...you know how it is...people will just talk whatever they want too...so just forget about it for now...don't worry about it??we did our best to cover up as much....,"and Meera nods just keeping her phone away and asks – " we will reach Lucknow tomm by Noon..right??the max??"
Aman nods - " yes, and the orphanage max by 1pm..."
Meera and Aman exchange a knowing nod. Given the circumstance, the two were also heading there for obvious reasons. They knew – Khushi was devastated and heartbroken as they'd expected at finally discovering the truth from Arnav. They also knew that – Arnav was as devastated in the pain, aftermath of it all too and the two obviously had honest intentions of being there for both Arnav and Khushi through this....
Meera asks now if Arnav texted about their arrival reaching the orphanage and Aman mentions that – message hadn't come in yet which leads Meera to just lean her head on his shoulder in a sigh as she asks – " they will be okay??? right?? Aman? Cant belive this happened...just when..they were so happy..."
Aman sighs at that and admits – " I know...but better now then never Meera...we both knew deep down...true healing of their past could never take place until this truth was out...in front of Khushi...and off Arnav's chest...we both know..this had to see the light...yes...probably both are disturbed in the immediate aftermath of it...but I am sure...they will handle it...eventually..."
Meera sighs as she hopes – " I really hope so ...too...,"and she adds looking at Aman – "and tomorrow when we see Khushi...in our attempt to give her insights into how heartwrenching it had been for Arnav all these years...remember we cannot forget to be compassionate towards her point of view too...ok? we cannot have her think...we are just there to defend Arnav to her....ok? I mean...seeing from her point..its totally natural for her to feel the mess she is...at discovering that we all just cut her off...coz of this...Aman...for no fault of hers...she was blindsided on this for years..least we can all do is give her atleast some days to digest it all...perhaps????? I hope Arnav wot rush her into dealing with it too...he did say on text that he was letting her be...."
Aman nods at that in agreement as he kisses Meera's head – "don't worry...Meera...I am sure Arnav understands the sensitivity of the matter...he won't rush Khushi....anyway...we will be there tomorrow....right? let's just do our best??"
Meera nods and wipes a sad tear outta her eye – " dammit..though...I always imagined meeting Khushi for the first time in years...all happy here...In Mumbai...I didn't imagine...this...at all...like not this ya..she'll surely be angry at the two of us too...more so me...as well..given that...even though we'v been in touch for months now on text/calls..after reconnecting..even I never gave anything away...we used to be so close...at one time...the closest...perhaps...after...Arnav and Khushi...she has every right to feel betrayed by me in this context ...too...Aman..."
Aman wraps his arm around Meera snugger and hugs her in support – " I know what you mean...Meera...I know what you mean...but...don't worry...everything will be okay...we just need to give it time....Khushi will surely be furious with me too...that even I didn't give anything away....but it will be okay....it will be okay..."
Meera nods.
Aman nods and two just share a knowing nod in the overwhelming moment...wanting to get to Lucknow..as soon as possible themselves.
Ironical, though, that even the two of them had never imagined that the first time – the four of them would get together – i.e – Arnav, Khushi, Aman and Meera – after ages would be in a situation as emotionally delicate as the upcoming one....
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At The Orphanage
Matthew looked at the nervous and worried Mini pacing in their room and even though he was a worried wreck himself for both Arnav and Khushi in the moment, he says to Mini hoping that the words would bring him some soothing too amidst the worry - " Mini...stop worrying...and pacing like this....you'v been worried all day......they are on their way right? will reach us soon...what's worrying like this going to get any of us? Its just been taking all our peace away??hasn't it?"
At that Mini pauses in her worried pacing and looks at her husband and admits, the concern evident in her voice - " I know...worry isn't going to get us anywhere...Matthew but...I can't help what I feel. I won't be able to feel any peace, until I have finally seen Khushi. Remember what – Arnav filled us in on – she's just been crying a lot in dejected and disappointed...majority of the time ever since and when not weeping her heart out..she's just been in a vulnerable silence...and not to forget also trying to digest the betrayal on account of the man she looked on as a father figure in her life as well...and rightly so...and over time and specially ever since the two reconnected...no matter how much a part of me would ache for her to know the truth...the other part of me also always wanted it hidden given the turmoil it would lead to for both....she's in pain...he's in pain...and a part of me also feels like...Khushi has every right to feel let down on all our tangents..whatever our reasons...Matthew..afterall we too blindsided her on this for years..what if she's also been feeling let down and disappointed on our account all the while??,"she finishes worriedly and continues pacing.
Matthew sighs at that and stands up to hold her by her shoulders in front of him and admits honestly - " I know...what you mean...Mini...I know...but...,"and he pauses because his phone beeps.
He quickly looks into it. It was Arnav's text informing him that they were pulling up in front of the orphanage in about 3-4 mins..now. Matthew says to Mini now in a rush – " cmon Mini..the kids will be here in 3-4 mins..that was Arnav's text..."
Mini nods at that and the two get rushing out their room dowanstairs towards the entrance glad that everyone else in house including all the kids+ staff were all fast asleep already given that it was so late in the night.
Mini had gotten the room right next to theirs – the couple of the spare guest rooms in the orphanage – ready for Arnav&Khushi - to stay in. The guest rooms hadn't been a feature – in the premise for years. But, Arnav had insisted on including about 4 extra guest bedrooms on their side of the top floor - when they redid this side of the wing - for any of them or the kids who'd left and gone out to build a life for themselves but loved to visit back – as when - to stay in during their visit at the orphanage. And ever since, so many of Mini+ Matthew's loved foster kids would use these rooms on their visit as well. But as of now, no one else was visiting and Mini knew that three out of the four rooms would be immediately occupied. One each for Arnav and Khushi and the other by Aman+ Meera's arrival tomorrow....
Now whilst rushing in her steps to the enterance she says to Matthew worried – " text him...ask him...how Khushi is doing please??"
Matthew sighs – " they will be here soon Mini...are you sure??"
Mini sighs – " well, you are right about that...,"and the two together open the main enterance door and get walking out in the courtyard leading to the gate...in a worried silence.
The very second they reach the gate, they both spot a car pull right in front of it – and the two easily spot – a weeping Khushi cocooned in Arnav's side hug and him just holding on to her pained himself – a sight - which leads to automatic tears in both Matthew and Mini's eyes...
Given that the car had come to a halt...Matthew spots Arnav looking out at them straight and shoots them a look of relief plus worry at gesturing towards Khushi's crying frame in his arms – and just that gaze from his beloved son tells him – what a wreck they'd both probably been...
Mini catches on the vibe in the moment too, as she spots Arnav whispering into Khushi's ears now – after dropping a soft kiss on her head....
And right then, they both see, Khushi finally look up from Arnav's arms and wipe her emotional tears off her cheeks as her gaze finally meets – her Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad's worried gaze across...
..............................................
She was here. She was finally here. Back at the orphanage...back to Mini Maa and Matthew Dad.She was finally seeing her Mini Maa and Matthew Dad in front of her for real...
Emotional vulnerability, longing, ache, overwhelmed angst – Khushi didn't know what consumed her more, as she felt her emotional reflexes take over in the moment almost immediately as her emotional gaze held Mini Maa's worried yet so loving gaze.. across...
She leaped out of Arnav's sideframe immediately, out of the car and ran straight towards Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad at the speed of light...who had already opened their arms to a running her....
And just like that....in the very next second...she just flung herself into their collective embrace as she whispered broken – " Mini...Ma...Matthew...Da...d...I ..am he..re...i...am..finally...he...re...,"and it was only when she felt them both hug her hard to themselves – all lovingly – did Khushi succumb into another emotional meltdown as she whispered clutching onto them both the hardest – " perhaps... I should just have never left here...if only..I hadn't eve..r...l...ef...t...if...o..n...ly...I...I...,"and she pauses as words get chocked in her voice box due to overwhelming emotion and she hears Mini Maa and Matthew Dad collectively say in support – " shhhh....shhhh...Khushi.....shhh...everything will be okay...everything will be okay....,"she just continues to cling onto them both emotionally and pours her heart out in tears...
Ofcourse, the very sight in front of him right now, just ached Arnav so much that – after paying the cab driver and thanking him for his help on dragging their luggage in – uptill the gate – all Arnav feels like doing is just hugging onto Matthew Dad+ Mini Maa in the moment too and just cry...
But given that he didn't know if Khushi would want him to intrude on at the moment amidst their group hug – he just stays back with tears streaming down his face and continues to watch onto the sight of Khushi crying it out in Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad's arms – amidst his muted emotional turbulence this time around....
Mini maa was in tears too..Matthew Dad extremely emotional...at finally seeing Khushi after all this while....
But as if, Matthew Dad sensed his ache from across...Arnav saw him look up and walk upto him now leaving Khushi to embrace just Mini harder and he suddenly just paced across to Arnav with the aim to embrace him in his warm fatherly hug...
Arnav didn't wait a second, or even a nano-second – instead just straight leaped into Matthew Dad's arms and finally let loose on his own tears as he hugged his father hard and whispered dejected – " I'd imagined...anything but..this...Matthew...d..a...d...a.nnnything...but this....on our first tim..e...re..turnin..g...here...together...r...I...I...,"and it was his time to choke on in emotion.
And Matthew just whispered lovingly and sincerely engulfing his son in a hard fatherly supportive hug – " shh...son...sh...itll be okay...everything will be okay...now that you are both here...everything will be okay....just give yourself..time...give her time...that's all...we are here...for you both...we are all here...you both will be okay..."
And Arnav whispers dejected hugging onto him hard – " she hasn't even spoken twenty sentences to me enroute here...all the way in transit here...Matthew Dad...how will anything be okay..if she won't even talk to me..."
And to his surprise he hears Matthew Dad say reassuringly just hugging him back as hard – " I know it will be okay..given that it was Khushi who brokenly reminded me...that you are probably behind us and broken and in ache too...amidst her tears..and our emotional moment of finally seeing her...after ages..she actually asked me to come check on you...son..which means...she's loves you so very much in this moment too...nonetheless.....despite the hurt, disappointment or the anger....."
Well, that does comfort Arnav momentarily and he just sighs at observing onto the frame of Khushi still hugging Mini Maa and crying hard across and he just succumbs to doing the very same himself in Matthew Dad's arms this time around...
Perhaps, Matthew Dad was right? They'd both be okay. Everything would eventually be okay now that they were both finally here – back to where they'd first met one another and entered each other's lives?? Back with their Matthew Dad and Mini Maa...who'd always known how to guide the two in either of their lows...individually and even collectively...
They'd done it all once in a massive solid way..when Khushi's adoption had come through...and during the days prior to her departure and post it too...and Arnav could just desperately hope in the moment,that they'd be able to do the same for either of them, in this vulnerable moment in the present too...
They were - Home after all. The only place one often found sense of solace in – when all one to do was just rest and recoupe – after an event that had drained one of all their energy. And at the moment – not just Khushi but even Arnav felt like he needed just that...too!
.............................................................................
TADAAAAAAAAA!!
How was that guys?????????? Emotional much....?? I know...I know...but their collective and individual ache is just a natural consequence of what they both are feeling at the time and I just wanted to highlight that in this update too – for sometimes its so important to acknowledging and letting one's low's moments flow all out before thinking of beginning to dealing and then healing..over it all eventually. For only when you acknowledge a low honestly...you can understand the depth of the issue to be dealt and healed....
These two will get through this and will deal and heal eventually...but they also cannot just jump to that without acknowledging their emotional exhaustion in front of the other...wholeheartedly... the bit of which will be coming up in the next update in the heart to heart – in between of A&K – about it all....
Next Update – once again so happy to write this that the next update will be up on Friday/Saturday evening!
Take Care!
Much Love* Infinite Gratitude – Always
Prachi
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