Helloooo Everyoneee

How are you all doing? Hope you and your loved ones are doing great!😇❤

So Yes - Here I am with the second update of Invisible Strings today!!!!!!

I Absolutely loved penning this down from Arnav's POV! So excited for you all to read this!

I'd also like to take this moment to express my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you for being with me on my writing journey. For all the love and for all the patience – always! Like I always say – you all are a part of this enriching learning curve of my journey as a writer too. So thank you to one and all – for your time and support – Always!

And okay so now without further delay I shall let you all dive in.

Word Count – 5.9k Words

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2. Fate or Is It the Choices We Make?

Same Day – 24th Feburary,2022

On the Other Side of the World

Worli, Mumbai - @ Arnav's Home

His Music Studio( on the upper floor of his penthouse)

Upper floor - More Pics

Arnav's POV

Tu Safar Mera...

Hai Tu Hi Meri Manzil

Tere Bina Guzaara..

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil......

Tu Mera Khuda...

Tu hi dua mein shaamil....

And I pause.

The muscles around my voicebox happen to twitch/choke with emotion on their own accord as I finish singing just this bit.

Godammit. And here I thought to myself that I was at least going to be able to finish singing a couple of lines more – before my voicebox chokes on me the very first time.

Well – who was I kidding?

And guess what? Not just that bit has happened for – my eyes seemed to have welled up a little on their own accord too as that familiar vacuum of angst deep within comes to Life with its rhythms.

Godammit!

Just why did Aman have to have this number on the tentative playlist of songs that I am meant to sing - out ON STAGE -for one of my upcoming concerts here in Mumbai in a couple of days??? And my mind flips in with the reminder – that its only because the Sponsors shared a special request list of songs from their end this time too and well this number just happened to be on it, which basically means that Aman really isn't to blame for this at all.

(So usually apart from singing the numbers of my albums/songs on Stage – I often also sing a couple of popular hits sung by my contemporaries in the industry. Most of the times - I make my sing- on-the-stage song choices obviously but sometimes – it's only fair to accommodate for special requests by the Sponsors.)

Or Perhaps – I can probably manage to skip this song off my list? or rather leave it for the last and skip it in real time on stage under the pretext that we were running short on time?

Nah.

Raizada. That is so not going to work. You most surely cannot shift the first song of sponsors request list to the very last and worse – leave it out – only because you feel your insides chickening out at the mere thought off singing it loud on stage.

Secondly, this number is a super popular one as well, right? So perhaps – I just gotta convince myself to be able to pull this off for that very reason – perhaps?

Oh. The Struggle.Within...Though.( Please note – that I have already finished practicing most of my numbers to be sung out in a couple of days on stage with my stage band during the day today. I practiced every number three times with them – to get the synchoronisation apt. Every number.Except this One. Covered it up though – just told them that I wana get this done in some alone pracyice time before we get around to finally practicing this tomorrow with the full band whose going to be performing with me on stage.)

So this song...isn't just extremely popular but it's also been executed in a soulful voice full off deep emotion that it instantly touches a chord within – the heart off anyone whose probably had an incomplete love story revolving around within the lanes of one's heart. (I'v even voiced the same to the fellow artist from our industry who sang this originally for the movie – that he indeed did an exceptional job with getting the nuance of emotion just right – in his voice – while executing the recording off the same)

And given that I know you all are pretty much aware about the back-context into the story of my life until now – I am sure you all understand the context that when I point out the above premise – I am able to do so this confidently, from personal experience for sure.

Another point to be noted for a fair future reference - It isn't that I haven't listened/sung out to the tune wordings of this song prior. I have – a gazillion times actually....but just always in my alone time.And the reason why my voicebox choked on me instantly(as it does a lot more off late) is the bit that everytime – I hear these words play in my head/or I sing them out - they always reminds me instantly off Her.

Off Khushi.

( The only one – whose fated to be assigned that ever so important role off an irrevocable magnet for my existence)

Another point to be noted though – that this isn't the only number that reminds me off her. Just about every romantic number I'v ever recorded out in my career+ ever sung out in concerts/stage performances as a mash up of mixes by my contemporaries – reminds me off her.

Oh Yes. It Does.Most Surely.

But there surely is something extra poignant about this song nonetheless. Plus, I guess it's also totally the bit that I'v never really practised this number out in my very own music studio at home – with the intention off ever singing it out On Stage - to the audience at large!! ( Mostly because – just getting into a full zone practice zone with these words+ tune on my lips makes me fear a moment that I might just choke up with emotion on stage in front of everybody, and not be able to sing at all!!!!)

Calm.Raizada. Calm.

You can do this.

You most surely Can.

If you could pull off the seamless execution+ singing of your very first album years ago + still manage to sing it out on stage in every performance given it's been a fan favourite for years now, then you most surely can pull this number off too. Just take a deep breathe.And get on with it...

For a second as I take deep breathes – that instantly makes me feel a little better as the memories in context from a few – years ago returns to my head.The conext being, that the very first song titled in the name matching with the name off my first album – Rabba Ve – was surely executed into the mike while I was in recording – with just everything about Khushi and the times of US that was – playing on my mind – tugging my soul in deep angsty ways.

Alright.Alright. Alright.

I can do this. I have to pull this off. I remind myself that ten times over taking a couple of sips off water from the glass on the side and shift my attention to the task upfront.Taking a deep breathe within - I begin from the top...my hands clutching on the mike in my hands for support...

Tu Safar Mera..

Hai Tu hi meri Manzil..

Tere Bina Guzaara..

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil..

Tu Mera Khuda...Tu Hi Dua Mai Shaamil..

Tere Bina Guzaara...

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil...

Mujhe Aazmati hai teri kami...

Meri...Har Kami ko hai tu laazmi

Junoon hai mera...banu main tere kaabil...

Tere Bina...Guzaara...Ae Dil Hai Mushkil..

Yeh Rooh Bhi Meri...Yeh Jism bhi mera..

Utna mera nahi...jitna hua tera...

And I pause. Again.

But this time around its because my phone buzzes off with a familar shrill ringtone on it – a ringtone that I have personalised for two of my closest.

Aman & Meera.

My eye falls on the time.

10:00 PM.

They must have returned from their dinner date.

I pick up the phone almost instantly as a warm smile tugs on my lips on its own accord. And I hear their combined voice come through instantly – " Arnav..we are pulling into the parking in a minute...we will see you up in five? K?," and before I can even answer I hear Meera add with a little sulk in her voice – " I cannot believe you didn't come out with us though. You cannot keep skipping on our dinner outings ASR...,"she finishes with a little annoyance relevant in her tone. Meera only calls me ASR when she is mad at me. And yeah – so does Aman.

I bite back a fond smile as I answer – " actually,what I cannot keep doing my dear Meera , is to keep being the third wheel in between Aman and You. For heaven's sake – it's just been six months since the two of you tied the knot..alright?? and given that Aman's anyway super busy because our schedules so tight and when we are not busy with in town schedules/recordings - we are travelling for concerts/stage performances – so I think rather you should give me some credit here – for not third wheeling - on what should anyway have been just a romantic date with your husband...right Aman???,"I finish with that question for one of my bestest friends/more like a brother + also my business +PR manager.

Thankfully – Aman says in a matter of fact almost in an instant – "ofcourse...yes...full credit to you on that...plus...now that you put it this way brother...Meera's back to smiling.."

I hear Meera exclaim instantly – " Noo ..No...ways...don't you cover up..Aman...I am not smiling...just why do you always have to side with him for everything ya...."

I listen on to their fun banter for the next ten seconds and then as they confirm that they are on their way up – I finally make a move out of my music studio which is on the top floor of my penthouse and make my way down to open the door to the two. Raju( my helper at home) is on a half day leave today.

And while I am in the process of walking to the door – I find myself thanking God for the two(Aman+ Meera) in my life – a zillion times over. We all grew up in the orphanage together actually. Aman and me have always been super close just like Meera and her(Khushi) had been at one point in time. But due to the odds of the situation in between Khushi and Me after that turning point in our lives – I guess Meera just chose to be a constant part of my life instead – eventually. Just like most of our close acquaintances at the orphanage...

Another chord of familiar guilt tugs within on that thought though...which I successfully subside for now...

So coming back to Aman and Meera. The two were also like childhood sweethearts from our orphanage/school days...and I am glad...that at least the happily ever after worked out for the two of them. Meera joint us here in Mumbai for studying art about six months after we came in here and after years of hard work in her line she eventually opened up an art gallery(a couple of years ago)which she now runs quite successfully and like I mentioned prior – Aman is my business + PR manager. As hinted prior – the two tied the knot in holy matrimony in a small cozy ceremony – six months ago. Everyone from our growing up times at the orphanage attended the ceremony blessing the two. Everyone – except – Khushi.She obviously knows off the development through Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad for sure though. She did send her best wishes for two through the two – nonetheless.( The memory of Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad conveying the same to Aman and Meera on their big day – right in my presence makes its way back to my head. Along with the peirce worried gaze Mini Maa gave me.Her eyes telling me – Pick up the phone. Just Talk to Khushi. Just Once...Just Once.And I had just simply gulped down my emotions+ the urge to do so – as usual – in the moment and returned my focus to enjoying the moment for Aman+ Meera – instead)

Perhaps better that I return my focus to the two for now – again as my doorbell begins to ring in the rhythm that only Meera uses.(They also live right across off me).

I open the door with a quick swish now and before I can greet the two – in stomps in Meera with a little sulk on her face as she says – " No...No...don't you think that infectious warm grin up your face is going to melt us or rather me in the moment ASR...I am still mad at you for ditching out on us..last minute...you had such a long day at practice no?? why couldn't you just come out with us and unwind a little???????"

Aman and me share a fond chuckle at that though and as we side hug each other – he walks in giving me the gesture that says it all and – I close in the door stating to Meera from behind – " oh really? Meera? Then why does the grin on Aman's face tell me that the two of you had a wonderful time on a cozy dinner date.."

Meera turns around instantly as she folds her hand across stating – " exactly...that's what I mean...you would have enjoyed with us too...no??,"and then she walks in.

I chuckle fondly as I ask walking my way in with Aman– " but then that wouldn't have classified as a date no? then? Meera??oh cmon...I just wanted the two of you to have some time out by just yourselves...what's wrong in wishing/wanting that for two of my favourites in the whole wide world??????"

She surrenders now finally falling back into the sofa comfortably in the living room as she states looking at Aman – " ughh..as if I can ever win with him Aman? No point...arguing.."

Aman and me share a chuckle again and he walks over to sit next to his beloved as I take the chair across of the two and I ask grinning – " is it that point?? Really?or is it just that you can never stay mad at me longer...Meera..so basically no point trying.."( I am like a brother to her. It's always been that way. In fact, on their wedding – I can't really state who was I crying out in happiness for more. Aman or Her. We'v now come to a conclusion in between the three of us – that it was for both of them. Equally.)

Meera finally breaks into a smile at that and states – " okay...yes..well...it's the latter...you know that bit very well don't you?which is why you always take advantage off it..ASR.."

I grin – "still ASR??"

She grins and gives in – "uhhhhhhh – fine....I will just let it go..Arnav..."

Aman wraps his hands across her shoulder lovingly and kisses her head and then says releived – " I am glad the two of you sorted this..without me having to say a word..I absolutely hate to get caught up in between the two of you..which is why on such rare occasions I always follow the golden rule of silence mostly.."

We all share a chuckle and Meera and me end up saying in unison – " and boy..aren't you glad that it works.."

He chuckles – "I most surely am..,"and then asks – " anyways..whats up ?you finished up with dinner??"

Meera – "Raju did say he's cooked dinner prior and left it in the fridge..before he left this afternoon...did you eat that??"

I admit nodding – "indeed...I did.."( Given that Meera is like my sister+bhabi plus that she also lives across – she's obviously always upto date with what's happening in both homes. Theirs and Mine. And I love that. They are my family – after all.)

She smiles and shrugs – "and here I was telling him on the phone..that we all are planning to go out for dinner anyway..so no point of him leaving something cooked...but he suggested he do the same nonetheless..glad..about that.."

I admit with a smile – "or else...I'd just have ordered in..Meera..god bless..swiggy and Zomato.."

We all share a chuckle at that and Meera's eyes hover up towards the full light reflection coming in from the top floor – which mostly comprises of a lounging space with my Music Studio in the center off it + indoor green patio leading to a little outdoor green space above.She asks now – " ohh wait...Arnav..were you practicing???? But you were in practice all day...,"and her voice softens as the dots connect in her head – "ohh...wait...were you in the middle of practicing the only number you couldn't get yourself to sing out loud with the band in practice today?????Aman told me...how you just left that bit for the last..and then..just nudged/covered it up saying...you want to do it in private first?"

I walk up from the chair almost instantly feigning to head to the open kitchen to get myself some water (the act which was to be a cover up from the two since they are expert at reading my moods) as I say – " yup...that was exactly what..I was upto.."

And I hear the two ask to my back from behind in a concerned unison as they walked up to me – " and wait...tell us the truth? Did you choke on it? or did you manage to finish practicing it all out?"

I continue to gulp down the water from the bottle in my hand knowing very well that this gesture from me would answer the two anyway. It's a bonus when your close ones know you like an open book. Saves you the time – explaining yourself - repeatedly.

I hear Aman sigh now – "knew it...knew it the very minute I saw it up on that list..that it would bother you...immense emotionally..before you actually get around to doing it..."

I hear Meera sigh further – " I wonder...how is it you are able to pull off singing Rabba ve everytime though Arnav..without choking...given that we all know...the context of the feelings you were going through within for her..then...,"and she adds after a soft pause – " and also the bit off feelings that you are going through now..years later??"

I turn around at that after placing the bottle on the sideshelf of the kitchen.I shrug and admit – " I was wondering the very same..actually...Meera...just about ten mins ago..."

Meera walks up more giving me a knowing look as she takes her seat on the stool chair near the breakfast counter and Aman follows and she speaks cautiously – " I guess I have the answer...you don't choke on singing Rabba Ve..ever...perhaps because back then when you recorded that song..thinking off Khushi..there was only angst plus intense emotion+ love+that crazy mission in your head to make it big for her sake too and every time you sing it now it just takes you back to that memory...but now......perhaps...you often choke up so much more...thinking off her..while singing any other romantic number based on angst/longing in initial days of practice is because...,"and she pauses because Aman gives her a nudge of the elbow to pause.

She gapes at Aman sideways and he says – " now might not be the right time to bring this theory up – my love..doesnt the expression on his face tells us that hes gotta a lot of intense thoughts circling in at the moment..."

Meera sighs – " perhaps..that is precisely why...this is the right time...Aman..,"and she looks at me and asks me with a silent gesture that says – I gotta theory you might want to listen.Do You? And I silently nod at her affirming her to go ahead.

And Aman looks at me for a second as he asks – " are you sure??"

I nod as I adjust my elbows on the counter upfront leaning forward in front of the two."Sure...shoot..Meera..so what's this theory you got?? Why do I feel all choked up in emotion..off late..in the initial moments of practice...so much more...while ever trying to execute a romantic number based on angst/longing???"

Meera continues in her to the point tone – " well...so...that's because...I think..infact we both think....given that we know exactly what/how you feel that now...it isn't just angst+ intense emotions of love+ the passion to make it big - hidden in there in your heart with context to Khushi anymore...it's also that mountain of guilt..perhaps..??for the bit that now your 25 year old mind thinks you could have handled the situation in the past better/ or that now you feel you didn't have to cut her off with silence then making her believe you'd met someone here../or send her that last text through Mini Maa/ or maybe if you could have found atleast some ways to be in touch after/plus there's also the guilt you harbour within at the thought...that eventually things got kinda cut off between us all and Khushi...because of you..."

A heavy intense silence engulfs the space in between of us. And just like that – I am sure the look on my face gave me away too to the two of them. I didn't need to voice out – that Meera got her theory right on hitting the Bulls Eye – actually. They knew. Just by the look on my face. Guilt can surely be that mountain weighing you down, when allowed to creep in.And off late – there's just been so much guilt within...on all those points...that I just don't know...how to begin dealing with it...so I just do one thing that I am used to doing. I just shut it In.Keep It In.

I continue to stay silent as Aman continues now clutching onto Meera's hands as they both shoot me a worried look – "also we both know that along with those aching shades off guilt...now you also have this intense fear within ruling instead...the fear that she probably doesn't even remember you anymore/has moved one/began hating you over years.....because we all got cut off from her in some ways eventually and it's the combination of this guilt+ fear that stops you from reaching out...and here you'v only lived all your life loving just person...Her..and she's so freaking far away from the truth...for heavens sake...Arnav...you tell us..until when will you continue to torture yourself this way?? huh????until when are you not going to do a damm about it?? until when do you expect us to just sit here..and watch you suffer and burn within???and not do anything about it because we obviously don't want to hurt you/go behind your back on the same...."

I stay – Silent.Staunchly Silent.Still. For I don't have an answer to that Until When. How could I answer when I didn't know the answer within myself???

Meera sighs at that dejected – her voice heavy with emotion and her eyes wet – " you know..Khushi...is just a call away actually not just for you...but like through me...through Aman too...through all of our close ones from back at the orphanage days...we can surely reach out to her for you...but you just won't let us......remember how I planned it all prior...that our wedding would have been the perfect occasion to get you two face to face six months ago...I was even about to send her the invitation...but then...the look on your face was so disturbed...at the very thought off finally seeing her...that I didn't act on my plan...didn'd freaking invite the one...I was so so so close too...we were all so close too..at one point in my life...all our lives...."

And just as she says that this time around I instantly realise that it wasn't just about me in the moment. It was about – Meera too. She missed Khushi as much. I admit sincerely – " I am sorry. Meera. I really am. I don't know what else to say.I know you miss her too Meera..given that you two were so close as well...a part of you probably feels like...you'd probably do just about anything...to just be in touch with her today....."

And Meera and Aman say in unison instantly – " as would you..."

I nod sincerely at that. Of course there is that part of me within that actually would trade off just about anything to just be in touch with her – today.But if only it were that simple to walk out the complexities one has webbed around one's self. I admit nonetheless – " right...as would...I...but...but..."

And they ask in unison – "oh the but again??? why??????the damm.... but....?????"

And I admit dejected rubbing my hands over my face – " the Buttttttt....because...just freaking what will I say to her dammit?? Aman? Meera you tell me?? how can I tell her the truth???that your adoptive dad..whom you love so wholeheartedly is the reason or the wedge/distance in between of you and me??? have her hate him for the same? Have her hate the one who gave her a family again?????? what will I tell her??? That I literally hate myself now..for the way I handled it all then? that I kinda also chickened out within? Because when Rajesh Maan pointed out the harsh truths to my face then he also directly feeded on the insecurities+ complexes within me that were probably harbouring due to the thought – that I wanted to make myself a life that was going to be good enough for you?? matching with the one you began to live after moving to Fiji?????????? What do I tell her..haan? that the truths he pointed to my face only cut as deeper because there was a similar mirror of a seed within somewhere deep down within me too??????? with what face do I tell her..that yes even though I am the man I am today..professionally...in the quest of a chase towards a future with her...I am absolutely ashamed and embarrassed to have lost everything in the present????? With what face do I tell her...that even though I have achieved all that I had once...keeping her as the goal in my mind...it totally feels like I'v lost out on all those rights to even dream of a future with her..because of all the time lost..in the present...with what face do I tell her – that Khushi...I had once set out to achieve success for your sake...and look...in that process...yes..i have reached where I once dreamed I'd be...but I lost out on all sight of you being in my life....that yeah from the outward looking on...people might see my story of success as a rags to riches story...thinking I have acaheived everything I probably ever dreamed off today...but if only they knew...that despite all those acheivements, the name, the fame, success - I don't have the only one I ever wanted...YOU....the only one..I'v ever Loved/or will Love......YOU......,"I pause on to take a heavy breathe.

This time around – the two look back at me – intensely and silently.

I look at the two in the eye as I now think off admiting a thought that had just come to my heart with a solid+ lightening realisation just last night.My eyes to well up a little but I say nonetheless– " ironical isn't it??"

Meera asks – " what is ironical??"

I admit – " that uptil now..for all these years...I would often tell to myself..you both..all our close ones...that perhaps..it was just fated to be this way..that it was fate...that is responsible for Khushi+ my story to turn out this way...and just last night...I realised that what if it was never fate to begin with???"

Aman asks puzzled – " huh?? What do you mean??"

I admit with a dejected shrug of my shoulder – " that what if it was never fate? It was always about the choices I made? That it is always about the choices we make??? I mean...here I am ..after spending years blaming fate for what happened..when it turns out...I have no one...but to blame myself for the volcano of angsty emotions I feel within? I haven't been able to let go...I haven't been able to take that step towards her...I have chosen to stay stuck..I guess...probably because I'v become so used to staying in that mode???? so you two tell me...who am I to blame fate?????? It was never fate...just the choices I made...if I have anyone to blame...it's just me...it seems fair..that I man up and take accountability for the same fully without blaming any external circumstances..."

And – Boy – saying that out loud to the two feels liberating in a way...

Aman says instantly – " okay..wait...but that's just you being way too harsh on yourself brother...we all know the circumstances that led to it all...Rajesh Maan...went out of his way..to make sure...you felt/hit rock bottom within...on that day..he was the trigger..."

And I say ashamed now – " but the fact remains...that even though he was the trigger... I let him be it and drive my choice after...right? I let him make me feel that way...I gave him the right to make me feel that way...I made the choice to give his words the weightage I did then...back then...it felt like...I had no other choice...but...today...why does it feel like...I perhaps could have dished out another way...if only I'd thought on it longer..."

Meera asks now softly – " hmm...now that you out it this way...I get what you mean...but Arnav...why don't you look at it this way, whats gone is gone. You cannot go back to the past and undo things. The what if's always seem a cage of wonder when looked back at in retrospect...where in – I say now – why don't you look at the present? For what also matters is the choice you make now...too... Arnav?? do you still want to make the choice to be stuck in an emotional rut?? Or begin to take a step to do something about it?? you have a choice now too Arnav...for heavens sake...just make it..."

And I hear myself ask the two on reflex – " but..what if...I am too late??"

And Aman says – " and just what if...you aren't??? like what if...Khushi hasn't ended the silence from her end...because firstly she never gave it to you from her end in the first place? which is why its only fair that you be the one to end this aching silence from your end?? remember your last text to her through Mini Maa?? Its you who gotta buckle up within and just dive into making that choice off reaching out to her..Arnav...about time...please....."

I close my eyes. And for a couple of seconds – I feel my heartbeats going all haywire at just the thought. I haven't heard Khushi's voice in the last seven years. Havent seen her online in the same number of years too. Last seen her physically almost eleven years ago.And yet – just the mere thought of reaching out to her in the present – seeing her in front off me again- makes my heart go all haywire...

What will I first say to her?
What will she say to me?????
Will she answer??
Will she smile???????????
Will she stay put in the spot and talk to me???
Or will she walk away????

Mini Maa has mentioned to all of us subtly over the years – that so much of Our Khushi is still the same – despite the life she is living now. I haven't reacted to that statement in anyone's presence till date nor have I dared to question further. But I can't help but wonder a zillion times in private.
Wonder what?

That really – could so much off our Khushi - still be the same? Physically in person - none of us have even seen her for what is the definition - Ages!

It couldn't be right? Her voice would have deepened and matured with age – perhaps? She'd have gotten more gorgeous – perhaps? Did her soulful eyes – have the same sparkle????

Godammit. Plus - I haven't even seen a picture of her – in years. Only because – I knew it could tempt me crazily to go knocking on her door. And I have blocked all temptations- Out! And that just makes me wonder for a bit – now – is it that she's done the same from her end too? I mean – has she heard my music? Seen my concert videos up online?? Or has she also just blocked me – OUT??

Aman's voice reaches my ears through the webs of my thoughts  – " don't zone out on us brother..talk to us about what's on your mind...please?"

I admit honestly opening my eyes now  – " basically my hearts gone all erratic at just the thought off reaching out to her...today... I mean...want to think on the possibility for a bit I guess...and actually convince myself that there could be a probability that what you are referring to Aman...could be a possibility....for in my head...that's surely a far etched dream..."

Aman and Meera say now – " but you will only know if it's a far etched dream/reality once you will act to know it/make the effort to know the same right? look all we want is for you stop burning yourself in the corridors of your own assumptions yaa..."

I sigh – " I wana work on the same guys...I really do...a part of me is exhausted with just living in the corridors of my assumptions in my mind...I want to take the leap..but at the same time...am also scared to take the leap...sounds crazy I know..but it is what it is...."

Meera says putting her hand over mind – " look...Arnav...I think..," and she shares a knowing look with Aman as they share a nod- " we both think that it's so great that you'v finally come out to admitting that a part of you is exhausted roaming in the circle of your assumptions... our advice is that just do not procrastinate over it longer then? please?please??? I can message her now itself you know...I don't have her new number ..for she changed hers a couple of years ago...but Matthew Dad+ Mini Maa most surely do..."

And my heart tugs on a string within and I end up saying – " no...not now...Meera...not so instantly...I need to work on this..emotionally...give me a while...I'll work on it..I promise...I do not want to go blank...in front of her after all these years....I mean I wana be able to make conversation...at the least...get myself to the point of being able to just focus on the present of that present moment when that comes...without the baggage of the past.....like I think this might work in my head if I tell myself that its about time I focus on the present going forward..."

Meera nods and she says now – " alright..alright...I give you a while..then? how many days you need??Its 24th feb..today...so perhaps when shall we discuss this...again..??????,"and she pauses - probably because of the sight of me paling in my face again.

Why?

Because she just mentioned the date. Today is 24th Feb. It's the very date – I first met Khushi – all those years ago.Its the very first day she walked into the orphanage and my life...

Meera adds softly going into nostalgic mode – "it's the date..we all first met her...you first met her...Arnav..

Aman says now softly – "I still remember her timid and scared face..when the little her walked in with Mini Maa+ Matthew Dad that day.."

Meera sighs but smiles – " just like I also remember the smile...she had on her face..when our little Arnav..went into his rockstar mode for her just then...singing all of her fav rhymes.."

I smile at the memory on reflex as I admit now – "and I remember both..of those instances too..guys...so clearly...plus all of that was after....such fond memories..remain...memories that I deeply cherish.How to forget? How to not love her?"

Aman says now deciding to shift the scene getting off the chair tapping his hand on the table – " okay then......so how about this?you also need to vent out all that you are feeling right now...k? just channelise it all into practice? I guess? Like you come around to doing majority of the time..eventually?? remember your rule – Focus on the love, and not just the angst. Just the love.And not the ache.You continue practicing on the song as you were before we came..but this time around..we'd also be here for you in support..k? just get it done out in practice once brother..and you will be sorted...then you will not choke up on stage...k?"

I nod.

Aman Nods.

Meera nods.

And we all make our way up to my Music studio.

The two take their seats opposite me - I take the centre of the room almost instantly getting hold of the mike and also switching on – the background instrumental to match the number deciding to..pour out..all that I was feeling within into the moment...focusing on just the Love that was.. the love that still is atleast within the lanes of my heart...with two of my closest people listening on..and memories of Khushi/Us revolving in my being...leading me to close my eyes in the moment...too...as I Begin...

Tu safar Mera..

Tu hi meri Manzil

Tere Baigaar guzara

Ae dil hai Mushkil...

And I am able to continue without choking this time thankfully and minutes later after I finish the first stanza - I reach the wordings off the second stanza that continues to tug on massive strings of intense emotions within...but I carry on nonetheless....

Mana ke teri maujaudgi se..

Yeh zindangani mehrrom hai

Jine ka koi tarika na mere dil ko maloom hai

Tujhko mein kitni shiddat se chahun

Chahe toh rehna tu bekhabar

Mauhtaj manzil ka toh nahi hai yeh ek tarfa mera safar

Safar khoobsurat hai manzil se bhi...

Meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi....

Adhoora hoke bhi..hai..ishq...mera kaamil...

Tere bina...guzaara....

Ae dil hai Mushkil....

And just like that as I finish singing this bit and the instrumental music flows in the background– two realisations nail their way to my being again. One that hasn't changed in my perspective for years. That ever since I first met her – majority of the times...I have ever sung after..Khushi's been the one who's at the center of being during the process.And second that just completely changed in my perspective last night.That perhaps – its never really about Fate and its strings at all. Its always about the Choices we make..and just the consequences that follow............

...........................................

TADAAAAAAAAA!!

How was that guys? For the first bit from Arnav's POV??

Also only fair I attach the song for the feel

Next Update- Tuesday/Wednesday. (For a bit the posts might come like once a week/or sometimes twice a week)

Plus please note - very important - given that ASR is the rockstar + singing sensation in this fiction and I am obviously not going to be able to make hit songs outta my head now so going forward in the story - there will be instances that I might mention - that this hit song was sung by him etc etc...for fictional purposes where even though in reality it was sung by some other amazing musical talents.

At the end of those update - I will obviously be stating due credit to the orignal singer . That just for fictional purposes this Story says it was sung by ASR where as in reality was sung by so and so!

Just like in this chapter- Iv mentioned that Rabba Ve ( male versions) were sung by him and that was the name of his very first album too😉😊 I mean I just had to include Rabba ve - ya!

( All due credit to the IPKKND makers- four lions + the orignal band off singers on the same.)

Ok that's all from me now! Hope you all enjoyed the update😊

See you soon guys! Take Care!

Much Love* Infinite Gratitude – Now&Always

❤
Prachi