
Chapter Eight
Brantley's POV:
It didn't take me long to realize that Nick had been right, that out of all the applications I had for the position of principal/chief administrator, I knew deep down that Delaney was the the perfect choice. Just seeing how she had been with the kids was all the proof I needed that she would be wonderful with children. And if everything Nick had said about her accomplishments and her work in the public school system was true, then there was no doubt in my mind that she would be an awesome fit for ARC.
But even though I knew all of that, I still couldn't force myself to send the 'send' button on the screen of my phone. This was a major step for me, putting someone in a position that should have been Amber's, having someone execute her vision for the school and make it everything that she had one day dreamed that it would be. It was the one position that I knew I had to get right the first time because putting the wrong person in the position could destroy everything that I was working for.
My mind continued to play tug-of-war, trying to figure out if I should just make the call or not. Years ago when I was struggling with a hard decision, I would turn to a full liquor bottle and drown my indecisiveness thinking that I would have a clear mind when the bottle was empty. That wasn't ever the case since most of the time I ended up still trying to make a decision while drunk off my ass; or even worse, hungover and my brain giving its best impression of a bass drum as it slammed into my skull.
Fed up with my indecisiveness, I took a deep breath and hit the button to connect the call. I waited with my heart beating wildly in my chest for it to be connected. After six rings, I was about to just hang up when the call connected. In the background, I heard a ruckus that quickly got quieter, as if she had stepped away from whatever she was doing in order to hear me better.
"Hello?"
"Hey Laney, it's Brantley."
"Oh, hey Brantley."
"I'm sure you're wondering why I would be calling..." I said, letting my sentence dangle –mostly because my nerves were off the charts right now.
"I think I have an idea. Daddy told me some things today, about what you are doing with the old community building."
"I kinda figured he would." I said, a small chuckle coming from my chest. "That man is your biggest champion, you know that right?"
"I do." she laughed. "I'm thankful everyday for him and for mama."
"I feel you on that." I said. "Anyway, I won't drag this out, that way I dont keep you from whatever you are doing."
Just as I was about to go into my whole job proposal thing, Delany cut me off. "Oh, we're just getting ready to roast some marshmallows and make s'mores. I'm such a bad parent in that aspect. Can you believe they are seven years old and I have never roasted marshmallows over an open flame for them? Their knowledge of s'mores is from a dang box of cereal that they just had to have one day in the store. A box of cereal that they wouldn't eat I might add."
"Well that's just a damn shame." I said, a genuine smile spreading across my face. "But you forget that I saw you with your kids today –and mine for that matter. And from what I saw, you are an amazing mother to them."
"I wouldn't say amazing but I try to be what my own mama was to me."
"And you're doing one helluva job at it." I said, meaning every single word.
"T-thanks."
"Anyway, as I was saying..." I said, shifting in the chair I was sitting in. The words I needed to say seemed to want to lodge in my chest but I pushed them down, needing to get this over with. "Since it seems that Nick told you what was happening with the community building, I can skip that part. I don't need to tell you why this project is so important to me and why I need to hire someone that is going to make this dream a reality in every way possible.
"So, that being said, I'm just going to spit it out. You can either accept the position or tell me to find someone else but if what your daddy told me is true, I can't think of anyone better to fill the position of Principal/Chief Administrator."
There was a long silence, long enough for me to check to make sure I hadn't dropped the call.
"Laney, are you still there?"
"Y-yeah." she said, stammering the single word. "I'm just... Wow, I don't know what to say. I know what this project must mean to you given that it is in honor of Amber. But the fact that you want me to fill the position, someone that you haven't seen in fifteen years, someone that you really didn't even know when I lived here before, is just... I don't think I can think of a word that fits how I feel right now, how much this means to me."
"Why do I feel like you're about to tell me you don't want the position?"
"What? No!"
"So you want it?" I asked, needing clarification.
"I–"
"Look, you don't have to answer right now. How about you meet me at the school tomorrow around ten a.m. and the two of us can work out all the logistics. Then, you can give me your decision." I said, cutting her off. "Then, when you know my complete vision on this, when you know just how Amber would want this school to operate, you can give me an answer."
"I don't need to think about it." she said, shocking me. "The answer is yes. I'd be proud to help you make this dream become a reality. I'd be proud to say that I had a hand in making this thing successful for everyone involved; you, the kids, Amber's memory... it would be an honor to be a part of this. But if you still want to meet tomorrow, I can. I'm sure that I need to fill out an actual application and bring in my resume, even if it is just so that the documents are on file."
"Then I guess I'll see you then." I said. "Oh, and unlike most interviews, the kids are welcome. Barrett and Bray love to be at the school with me when I'm there checking on progress. I think it makes them feel closer to their mother even if she isn't physically in the building."
"She's there, Brantley. No way in the world would she not be sitting in that building watching yall with a huge smile on her face as you did this." Said Delaney, her words making my chest hurt –not because they were bad but because deep down I knew she was right; Amber was everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.
Delaney and I ended the call not long after that when one of the kids came outside telling her that PopPop was back with the marshmallows. But I couldn't force my feet to move me from the chair I was sitting in. Instead, I looked out over the backyard from the window of my home office, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms behind my head. The weight that had felt like it had settled on my chest before the call was gone and as I sat there, I felt a smile on my face –a smile that Delaney was responsible for.
It's funny, but in the last eight hours, I'd smiled more than I had in the past year. And a certain dark-haired-green-eyed beauty was the cause of it. A woman, that if I let myself dream –and pretend that finding happiness after all the tragic shit in my life was possible– I could see myself getting to know better.
The words I'd heard earlier that sounded as if they had come straight from Amber's lips, floated back to me once again.
"I'd want you to be happy..."
"I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet." I said to myself. Or hell, maybe I was talking to Amber. Who knows? I just felt as if I needed to say the words out loud.
But the longer I sat there, the more words began to flow, making it clear who I was talking to.
"But it just feels wrong to think that I could be happy with someone else when you were the love of my fuckin' life. Things weren't supposed to be this way. We had plans. Dreams that we were supposed to make happen. And Amber, I am trying my best to make every last dream you ever had come true. I just need you to lead me, to tell me that I'm making you proud. That's all I ask baby.
"And if the day ever comes that someone comes into my life that you can see me being happy with, I won't question it because I know that you will have hand-picked her for me and for our kids. Doesn't mean that I won't try to blow things up since you know I'm good at that but when I finally get it through my thick skull that that woman is the one for me, I'll know that it's because you had a hand in it."
**NOTE**
I just want to thank everyone for the read so far. You all are the reason that we continue this hobby of writing. Also, I want to take the time to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. I hope your holidays are filled with enough love, family, and memories to last you a lifetime.
~J
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