I SIGHED violently when I finished taking my exams. Ako yata ang panglima sa pinakamatagal natapos pero confident ako sa sagot ko. Of course, Seph helped me every night before exams. Advantage ko na rin siguro ang pagkakaroon ng isang senior boyfriend na ahead sa akin. Dagdag mo na rin ang pagiging matalino niya. Yiiee.

Ngiting-ngiti akong naupo sa labas ng Room E-204. May isang armchair dun na sira pero nauupuan pa naman. I sat down and waited for Angela to finish. This is the last day of examination. Wala kaming klase pagkatapos nito, at makakapagpahinga na rin ako after three days of consecutive burning my brows. Halos wala akong maayos na tulog gabi-gabi dahil dito.

This is worth celebrating.

My phone pinged and saw Seph's name printed on the screen.

Seph Sweety : Precious, iinom sana kami mamaya, If okay lang sau.

Inom? Like drink beers? Diba?

Ruby : Tawagan mo ako. Now na!

I don't want to respond through texts. Biglang umalingawngaw ang ringtone ko sa kabuuan nitong hallway dahilan para sitahin ako ng matandang proctor na nagbabantay sa amin.

"Ssh, Ms. Mendoza, quiet," pabulong niyang sigaw.

Nag-peace sign ako at... "Sorry po."

Mabilis akong nagpunta sa hagdanan pababa ng Resource Library at naupo para sagutin ang tawag.

"Hello?"

"Precious"

"Ako nga, sino pa ba?" pagtataray ko.

"Sige na pleaseee. Kasama ko naman si Mark"

"Hindi ko naman sinabi na hihindi ako."

"So... agree ka?"

Tumango-tango ako kahit hindi n'ya iyon nakikita.

"Yup. Ayaw kitang pigilan sa mga gusto mo, tsaka alam ko naman na hindi ka gagawa ng kalokohan."

"Of course, I won't. Sino ba ako sa akala mo?"

"Ikaw si Joseph Angelo Rivera," nakangisi kong sambit.

"And? 'Yun lang ba ang tingin mo sa akin, Precious?" he sounds like he was pouting.

"Hmm, ano pa ba?"

"Psh. Sabay tayong kumain ngayon ah. Baka kasi gabihin ako mamaya."

"I'm fine, Seph. I'll be having lunch with Angela ngayon," I said. "How's work? Busy ba ngayon ang café?"

"Not the usual weekdays pero okay naman so far. Carlo and June are already here."

Seph decided to take today's morning shift dahil wala s'yang ginawa buong araw.

"That's good. May kasama ka," napatingin ako sa mga estudyanteng nadaraan sa harapan ko.

"Saan nga pala kayo iinom?"

"Magcecelebrate kami sa Echelon since we are done with all the projects and requirements."

"Well," I sighed and stared at my swaying feet.

"Just don't do things I wouldn't do."

"I already said I won't." I heard him violently whispered on the line. "I'm your boyfriend and you're my precious gem. I'll take care of you for the rest of my life."

Pahapyaw akong ngumiti at napatingin sa examination room namin. I saw Angela approaching me while clicking her phone.

"Just get ready for your celebration, Seph. I'll eat lunch with Angela nalang," I said. "And I still have a work this afternoon. I don't want to be late."

"Hindi ka galit?"

"Hindi nga. Baka gusto mong magbago ang isip ko?"

"I'm just joking, Precious. Huhuhu"

"Fuck, parang bata. Hindi ka cute uy!"

"Bibig mo, teh!"

Naramdaman kong may tumabi sa akin. It was Angela, smirking.

"Sorry," pabulong kong dispensa. "As I was-"

"Precious, let's clean your dirty mouth," he seriously said. "I kiss dirty mouth lalo na't ikaw ang hahalikan ko."

Namula ako sa inis at tinakpan ng kamay ang aking mukha.

"Bwiset ka talaga, Seph," I heard him laugh. "I have to go. Andito na si Angela."

"Yeah, sure. My break is almost done. See you this evening, Precious. I love you."

"I-I..." I stuttered.

Napatingin si Gelai sa akin na may panunudyo sa kanyang mga mata. I rolled my eyes while blushing.

"I love you too, Seph," mabilis kong ibinaba ang tawag at tinaasan ng kilay ang katabi ko. "What?"

"You're blushing, loka."

"Alam ko," napatitig ako sa mirror case ng phone ko. My cheeks were fucking red as a tomato paste.

"I'm damn in love with him."

"Halata nga," she commented, not even looking at me. "So did you tell him about your celebration plan for tonight?"

Truth is, I'd planned something tonight. I wanted to surprise him in his room. It's my way of thanking him for helping me study for three days straight. Tapos nalaman ko na may plano na pala s'ya, ayoko lang magpaka-selfish.

I shook my head. "He has plans for tonight with his groupmates."

"Hindi mo kasi sinabi na gusto mo muna siyang solohin for tonight kaya hindi na siya nakatanggi sa mga kasama niya."

"I don't want to be selfish okay? Hindi ko naman pagmamay-ari si Seph."

"You owned him, silly old girl," binatukan n'ya ako. "Gaga ka talaga. Para saan pa 'yang status n'yo?"

"Hindi naman ako possessive," napairap ako sa kawalan.

He has plans. I don't want to ruin it.

***

Umuwi ako mag-isa pagkatapos ng 11 PM shift ko. Tinulungan ko pa kasi sila Vivian maglinis ng café. Agad akong pumara ng jeepney pauwi nung may kotseng huminto sa harapan ko. I squinted my eyes to see who's inside because the car looks so familiar. Kung hindi lang dahil sa kulay dilaw na postlight, malalaman ko na agad kung kanino ang kotse na ito.

The driver rolls down his window car beaming at me.

"Hey?"

Nanigas ako sa aking kinatatayuan habang nakatingin sa kanya. How the fuck did he know that I work here?

"A-Adam," my lips quivered. "Anong ginagawa mo rito?"

He rolls his tongue on his lip before answering me.

"I just happened to see you here waiting."

"I'm not waiting," I chided.

"Kung ganun sumabay ka na sa akin," aniya na nakangiti. "I will take you home."

Nanatili akong tahimik.

"Come on, Ruby. You just said na wala kang hinihintay diba?"

"Adam, I already told you-"

"No feelings attached," ngiti n'ya. "Come on. Baka abutan ka pa ng ulan."

"Hindi naman uulan."

"Come on, Ruby. I don't want to see you keep standing over there waiting for no one," tawa niya.

Marahas akong nagbuntong at naglakad papasok sa loob ng kanyang kotse. Makapal ang mukha ko kaya sa front seat ko napagdesisyunang maupo. Nakangiti lang s'ya sa akin habang nagseseat belt ako.

"Ngiti ngiti mo dyan?" inis kong tanong. "Iuwi mo na ako."

"Kumain ka na ba?"

Napairap ako sa kawalan tsaka siya minatahan.

"Huwag ka pong pafall. Wala na yang effect sa akin. Hindi na ako marupok."

"Really? Sure ka ba talaga na hindi na?" duda niya.

"Marupok pa rin ako pero hindi na sayo."

Napangiwi s'ya sa sinabi ko at agad na binuhay ang makina.

"Have you eaten already?" he asked when he was in the middle of driving.

"I told you hindi na ako marupok."

"I know," he said. "I'm asking a serious question. I'll treat you at McDo malaman ko lang na hindi ka pa kumakain."

Hindi nga siya nagbibiro. He sounds serious.

"H-Hindi pa," I replied, looking outside the window.

"Then let's eat."

Hindi ko na nagawang magreklamo. Hinayaan ko lang sya na iparada ang sasakyan sa McDonalds dito sa Bajada. Pinaghintay niya muna ako while he's ordering something for me. Nakangiting napapatingin sa kanya ang customers habang sya ay walang pake sa kanila. That's Adam Cordova's charisma for you girls. Pati nga ako ay nagkamali sa lalaking iyan. Sabay kaming kumain pagkatapos n'yang umorder. We didn't talk a lot about our current situation but more on reminiscing our past.

"Yeah, remember when you laughed so hard because of my joke. The drink went to your freaking nose," tawa pa sya ng tawa.

"Tseh! Ikaw kasi dahilan nun," ngisi ko. "Kung bakit ka ba kasi nagjoke nang ganun kakorni."

"I'm sorry. Hahahaha. It was too hilarious that I couldn't keep it to myself," he wiped his tears of joy.

Naiiling akong bumalik sa pag kain habang nakangiti.

"Memories bring back memories..."

"But never brings you back," he bitterly smiled. "Sorry."

Matabang akong ngumiti at bumalik sa pagkain. Agad nya rin akong hinatid pagkatapos. The whole drive to boarding house was quiet. Ilang beses ding nagpapaling-paling ang ulo ko dahil sa sobrang antok. Hindi rin sya nagsasalita or nagkukwento tungkol sa kanila ni Ivy or sa bago nyang lovelife. Besides, wala rin akong balak makinig.

Pinarada n'ya ang sasakyan sa harap ng gate. Agad akong bumaba, but he followed me outside.

"What's wrong? Do you need something else?"

"I'm... I'm sorry."

I don't even know why he's apologizing to me.

"About what? I should be thanking you for treating me."

"Akala ko kasi okay na ako na wala ka. Akala ko okay na ako na may bago kang boyfriend. I thought that I'll be happy if you're happy, but I guess I am just a selfish little boy that could never be happy for you."

His eyes were almost teary, it makes me want to hug him.

"Adam, we already talked about this..."

"I know. I know," he frustratingly sighed. "I just... I couldn't let you go that easy."

"But you have to."

"I will, but can I ask you one favor? I promise na titigilan na kita pagkatapos nito."

Ngumiti ako. "Sure, anything."

"Can we kiss? One last kiss... for the last time," he asked.

I was dumbfounded by his blunt request. Nagdadalawang isip ako kung tatanggapin ko ba iyon o hindi, but he promised me that he will stop pursuing me for our sake.

"S-Sige."

He took two steps closer. I closed my eyes waiting for his lips to press against mine hanggang maramdaman ko ang malalambot niyang labi, even his tongue, and how sweet his breath was. He slowly pulled away while hesitantly smiling.

"I love you," bulong niya.

"I love you mo mukha mo!"

Isang suntok ang natanggap ni Adam mula sa lalaki na nasa kanyang likuran. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita si Adam sa lupa hawak-hawak ang kanyang putok na labi. I could see a smudge of blood on his lip.

"Sinong nagsabi sayo na pwede mong halikan ang girlfriend ko?!" he was fuming in anger while looking at Adam scornfully. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Umamba sya ng isang suntok pero agad akong pumagitna sa kanilang away. I could smell Seph's breath and it reeks alcohol. Namumula rin ang mga pisngi niya, as well as his eyes.

"Tumabi ka Ruby!" he just called me by my name, and I'm not used to it.

"NO! Walang ginagawang masama si Adam sa akin!" naiiyak kong sigaw.

"I saw you kissing each other," he said in gritted teeth. "Tumabi ka kung ayaw mong puwersahan ko iyong gagawin."

Hindi ko sya pinakinggan at tinulungan kong tumayo si Adam ng maayos.

"Ayos ka lang ba?"

"Do you still love him, Ruby? Iniwan ka nya diba?! Bulag ka ba? Mas lasing ka pa siguro kesa sa akin kasi napakamartir mo. Umaasa ka pa rin ba na magkakabalikan kayong dalawa ha?"

"Please, mag-usap na lang tayo mamaya."

"Ano Ruby? I fixed you when you were broken because of that guy! And now you're helping him instead of me?" galit niyang sabi. "Ako ang boyfriend mo! Bakit andyan ka? Why aren't you here by my side? I was always there for you even when you don't need me. Why aren't you even here when I need you?"

I saw his tears falling down slowly. Bigla na lang lumabas si Ivy mula sa loob at gulat na gulat kaming tinignan.

"What's with all the commotion?" she asked as she squints her eyes at Adam. "And why is Adam here?"

"Ivy, maaari bang samahan mo muna ang kuya mo sa loob?" I could feel tears falling to my cheeks. "He's a bit drunk."

"I'm not drunk."

"JOSEPH, TAMA NA PWEDE BA?!" singhal ko kasabay nun ang pagbuhos ng luhang kanina pa nagbabadya. "Tama na please. Tama na."

Lumapit si Ivy sa pwesto ko. She took Adam instead of Seph, whispering to my ears.

"Help your boyfriend, Ruby."

Inuwi niya si Adam mag-isa and drive his car instead. Kahit bumubuhos pa ang luha sa mga mata ko ay naglakad pa rin ako papunta kay Seph. I was standing firm in front of him when he suddenly pulled me into his chest, covering me around his arms. I pulled away from him, pulling his hand inside the gate. Hinatid ko sya sa kanyang kwarto at agad na pinagpahinga. His roommate was nowhere to be found... again.

"Kukuha lang ako ng bimpo at tubig," walang gana kong sambit.

Matapos niyang sabihin sa akin ang mga masasakit na salitang iyon? I doubt myself to even look directly in his eyes.

Tumayo ako nung bigla n'yang hinawakan ang aking kamay.

"I'm sorry," dispensa niya. "I'm drunk."

"I know."

—

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