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" I'll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind
And I'll use you as a focal point
So I don't lose sight of what I want
And I've moved further than I thought I could
But I missed you more than I thought I would
And I'll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind"

I Found - Amber Run

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Chapter Seven:

- Everly -

After hearing Jasper's words, a shockwave of deceit hit me. Think, Everly, I told myself. Did you hear a noise downstairs? Yes, you ignored it. Before you passed out, did you see footsteps behind your door? Yes, you did.

I broke away from James and rushed toward the cabins, collapsing against the bathroom door, forgetting to lock it. A panic attack hit me hard. Had I underestimated how far Jasper would go to destroy my life? "Fuck," I yelped, pressing my feet down on the tile floor. A rush of pain surged through me, and I lifted my foot to see it slashed open, likely from a piece of broken champagne glass I'd stepped on in my hasty exit. Blood dripped onto the tile, and I just watched it. Maybe I deserved it. Maybe I deserved all of it. I didn't deserve James. How he fell for me, I'll never know.

Pain has been my constant companion. The pain of silence while my parents slammed doors and screamed at each other. The pain of hiding in my room, confined by my curfew. The pain of knowing that, no matter how much I love him, I might never be enough for James. Maybe Ellie was right that night I found her and James kissing. I'll never be what he needs. I'm damaged, and everyone can see it. Blood dripped onto the white tile of the bathroom floor, and I just watched it, doing nothing.

If James hadn't been there that night, Jasper would have gotten exactly what he wanted. It would be over, and maybe my mum would have even come home. James could move on, knowing he did everything he could. Lydia would... My thoughts were cut short as Lydia walked in and locked the door behind her.

"Everly, what have you done to yourself?" Lydia's concern was palpable as she noticed the puddle of blood on the floor.

"I stepped on some broken champagne glass. It's fine," I replied.

"You're not fine. Not even close. Everly, please talk to me," Lydia pleaded.

"Lydia, there's nothing to say. I just... I feel like if I wasn't here, you'd all be better off. Jasper has this sick vendetta against me, and it's going to drag you all down," I sighed.

"If you were in London, it wouldn't be any different," Lydia said, misunderstanding what I was trying to convey.

"Lydia..no I mean here as in..."  it took her all of one second to break down into hysterics.

"Everly don't you ever...don't you even dare say this world...would be better without you...I can't imagine one minute without you in it. Let alone my fucking life. You would destroy James life. He would never be the same." She cried and I sobbed with her.

"Jasper set that fire...in my house. He doesn't just want to destroy my reputation Lydia. He wants my life. And he won't stop till he gets it. I know I created that mess myself. So I'm dealing with that and add my parents problems on top of it. Look at this." I sobbed handing her my phone. It was a text from my father that had come through.

"Everly I've filed for separation from your mother. Please stay in France till we are legally settled. I don't want you causing anymore attention to our family. And do not call your mother. She doesn't want to speak to either of us. Most likely ever again."

"Everly...oh my god." Lydia pulled me into her lap.

"I think my mum...saw this family as damaged goods. So she took off to the US for a new start. I can't fault her for that but I can't do the same. I don't want a new start. I just want the pain to stop. Fuck..how have I become this disappointment. I did everything perfect and it still wasn't enough." I winced pulled my foot up again.

"Evie...you are not damaged goods. You are a diamond and you always have been. You saved James and I. You changed our lives the day we met you. James has always loved you. I have always loved you like you were my actual sister. I know this shite is impossible with our families. And the outside chaos adding pyro Jasper doesn't help...but" I cut Lydia off.

"Before you walked in here...I thought to myself. What if James hadn't gotten to me in time. What if it ended there." Tears poured down both our faces and Lydia held onto me tighter than before. She raised my wrist.

"Do you see this bracelet. You've had this since we were 10. We have matching best friends bracelets Eve. Yours is gold and mine is silver. No better combination. This is it we're linked for infinity. We're in this forever. You're my sister. I know right now we're in deep shite. But you can't give up. The world needs you in it. I need you and fuck Everly James loves you more and more each day. I couldn't forgive you if you hurt him in that way." Lydia cried.

"You're my best friend Lydia, you've seen my life through my eyes since we could walk. And I've made it 17 years. And it feels like in those years I've lived too many lives to have the privilege to be this young. I'm not allowed to have fun or be stupid. I'm still trying to pick up the pieces my parents shattered. I...I don't think I'm strong enough to do it anymore. And I can't ask James to do it for me. I won't." I cried. I heard the door knob try to turn.

"James.." Lydia knew her brother had been behind the door for at least a quarter of our conversation. "Get the first aid kit from the gallery. Eve step on a piece of champagne glass and she's freaking out." Lydia said to her brother through the door.

"Oh my god, I'll be right back." He said, I could hear his footsteps disappear up the stairs.

"I won't tell him anything we talked about. We'll just tell him you were freaking out because you were hurt. But Everly, promise me you won't do anything stupid or reckless. Your head in not in a good space right now. You shouldn't be alone. And if I'm honest you should be the one to share all of this with James. That's your boyfriend. You both always wanted this. Please don't let either one of you fuck this up." Lydia said.

"Lydia I..." my lip quivered.

"Evie...promise me" Lydia said as James opened the door. Lydia grabbed a towel and held it against my foot.

"Everly..." James looked frantic as he knelt next to me and his sister.

"I'm so clumsy...I didn't see it. Cyril must've dropped it after we finished our toast." I lied.

"Oh love, that looks deep. That had to hurt." James said as he cleaned the cut and wrapped my foot for me. I wanted to say...I didn't feel it. But I knew that might scare him.

"Oh yeah it did." I said staring up at him while Lydia looked at me with concern.

"Think you can walk? Come here let me pick you up." James wrapped his hands around my waist.

"Oh yeah Jamesie...I'm fine don't worry." I said as I got up off the floor. "Let's get back to the party..shall we." I tried to persuade him.

"Eve, I'd like to talk to you for a second." James' tone was filled with worry as Lydia took that as her queue to leave.

"Sure babe, what did you want to talk about." I said as I picked up the tequila soda I was drinking off the bathroom counter. I did my best to suck it down as he spoke.

"What happened with you and Jasper before? You ran off after he mentioned the fire. It seemed like there was more to that night than you're telling me." He said.

He was right...James could see right through me. Well him and his sister. Lydia saw the sadness in me that I think James tried to pretend wasn't there. And I suppose I tried to pretend the same.

"James...I don't know I was just annoyed with him. Jasper just...he won't leave me alone. He had to come on this trip, I know it was Ellie's doing but...he agreed to it. I just don't want to be around him." I danced around the truth.

"Eve...you're lying. I've known you 17 years babe. I know when you're lying. What I don't understand is why you feel the need to lie to me." James raised his voice this time.

"I'm not. Why don't you just leave it alone for once, James? It doesn't concern you," I argued with him.

"Anything to do with you concerns me, Everly." He sighed.

"Well I'm fine aren't I? I'm right here in fucking front of you." I said back to him.

"Than why do I feel like you're still a world away." James turned away from me. "Eve, I can't keep playing games with you. You're killing me." James was more than frustrated as he spoke.

"James, I can't drag you down to hell with me. You don't deserve it." I was trying to push him away again. He was about to walk out the door, and something triggered inside me. Maybe it was the reality setting in that if he walked out, it would be the end of us. And I'd always imagined James and I as infinite. If I was the reason for our end I would never forgive myself.

"Everly... I can't do this with you again. The only thing I don't deserve is you lying to me. You're not protecting me; you're hurting me." James' words cut deep, but he was right.

I was lying to him again, and if I kept lying, everything would only get worse. I couldn't protect James from myself. He placed his hand on the door, ready to walk out, when I grabbed his hand.

"James..." Tears streamed down my face. "I know I need to stop lying to you, or I'll ruin our relationship. But I'm so scared. James, I'm a mess." I cried as he pulled me into a hug.

"I'm already in this, Eve. I was born into it just like you. Your mess is mine too. Let me in, and I promise I won't freak out." James tried to reassure me. But once I let him in, like how Lydia found me... it was a floodgate I couldn't close.

"Jasper started the fire at my house. He broke in—that noise I heard was him. He's been sneaking around the grounds since the party at Alistair's. Mimi kept saying she saw him, but I thought she was imagining things because I never saw him myself. Right after you left, I heard the door crack. He must've found a way in. While I was talking to Lydia, I got a text from my father. He just filed for divorce from my mom, and now it's a media frenzy. He told me not to come home, call him, or reach out to her because she wouldn't want to talk to me. I've lost her officially. She's gone, like she never existed. And I'm just supposed to nod and say everything is fine. To pretend I'm okay. James, I told your sister you'd all be better off without me, and I meant it. You understand that, right? You shouldn't be with me." Tears streamed down my face as James took off his jacket and wrapped it around my bare shoulders, pulling me tighter into his embrace.

"Evie... my god," James murmured, gazing down at me. "I can't find the words to express how I feel about you. There aren't enough in the English language to explain it. Right now, all I can ask is, look at me... look into my eyes. And tell me you would never do that to me. If you love me, if you truly love me, you wouldn't." His lip quivered as he waited for my response.

"I would never do anything to hurt you, James," I sobbed into his chest. "I know I'm not making sense, but I'd be lying if I said I never thought about it. And I just can't lie to you anymore."

"I love you, Evie. I love you so much. I'm here, and I'm not leaving. We're going to get through this. If you told me right now that you wanted to, I'd marry you, and we could run away and live on an island together. I just want you." James' words were filled with heartfelt sincerity.

"I would never let you throw your life away from me." I said back to him.

"I have no life without you. Plus, you already have my parents golden approval." He teased me trying to take the edge off of my nervous break down.

"That's true...who would've thought Mortimer would actually be rooting for us." I couldn't help my laugh.

"The man constantly has me stunned." James said as we both got up from our embrace on the floor.

"James... can we keep all of this between us, please? Jasper is denying his involvement, and until I get proof, we're all stuck on this boat together," I said as James stared at me. He sighed and nodded.

"For now." He continued as he opened the bathroom door, Alistair nearly fell through.

"I was not eavesdropping I had to use the restroom." He lied.

James shook his head, then picked me up and playfully threw me over his shoulder. "All yours, mate," he yelled to Alistair as I cheekily squealed in his arms.

"James, put me down!" I exclaimed as he carried me up the stairs to rejoin the group. All eyes turned to us as he set me down and kissed me.

"Cyril, do me a favor and watch where you drop glasses. One of the champagne glasses shattered, and Evie stepped right on it," James said, shaking his head at him.

"Oh shite... I thought I picked most of it up! So sorry, Evie," Cyril apologized, as Lydia gave him a disapproving girlfriend stare.

"Nothing a tequila soda couldn't fix." I joked as James grabbed one from the bar.

"No better medicine." He smirked as he handed it to me.

"You sure?" I whispered gripping the buttons on his collared shirt.

"Really?" He asked.

"The cabin downstairs has a lock, and I need to remember this trip for something other than unloading my trauma on my ridiculously hot boyfriend," I teased him.

"Well, look at that, Eve. Your bikini bottom is untied on the side. It really does have a mind of its own!" James said, pulling the strings loose.

"JAMES!" I exclaimed. "Alright, well now we definitely need to go to the cabin. I need you to finish what you started," I winked at him.

After James and I spent an hour "fixing my bikini" inside the yacht cabin, we were going to rejoin the group for dinner on the top deck. It was pitch black out, the only light coming from the stars. While James and I were in cabin changing, the weather took a turn for the worst. The boat was rocking like crazy, and the wind was howling outside. There was a knock on the door, followed by the echo of the captain's voice.

"James, a storm is coming in. We'll have to dock sooner than we planned." He said.

"Babe.. I can slip into this dress on my own. Go talk to the captain." I instructed him sending him out of the room.

"Okay, but I'll be right back." He kissed me before leaving the room.

I finished getting ready, grabbed my drink and picked up my phone to snap a photo. I saw a text from Lydia, with our usual outfit check videos we send each other. She was worried she was too dressed up. I laughed because she was the fashion queen, I learned everything I knew from her. I set my phone down on the charger and I started recording my outfit video to send back to her. Of course in the middle of me going over my accessories, there was another knock on the cabin door. I forgot to stop the video as I opened it, my blood running cold at the sight of Jasper standing there.

"Excuse me," I said, trying to push past him. He grabbed me and shoved me back into the room, locking the door behind us.

"Come on Everly..leaving so soon?" He said as he pushed me back into the cabin and toward the balcony.

"Jasper, I'll scream and the entire boat will hear me. James will be back any second." I tried to stay calm.

"Well then we should have this conversation quick." He smirked at me.

"I have nothing to say to you. I know what you've done. You won't get away with it, my father had the police comb the house. When they find out what started the fire...I will make sure you're the number one suspect." I said looking for a way to get around him and out the door.

"Everly, don't be naive. Even if I did start the fire, you have no proof. It's a shame you didn't hold up your end of the deal. You've been causing me a lot of trouble, not just with the dean at Maxton Hall but also with my father at home. He's terrified of your last name. I am not. Imagine the scandal if the prodigal daughter never returned from her trip to France. Her boyfriend would be blamed. That would be very bad for James." Jasper laughed, pressing me against the balcony glass.

"Jasper, if something happens to me, James will come for you in ways that will haunt you every night. You'll be looking over your shoulder every second, for the rest of your life. Forget about graduating from Maxton Hall; you'll be lucky if a public school takes you. James will ensure you never experience a moment of happiness again. You should really rethink your next move," I said, continuing to talk, praying James would make it back in time..

"Everly...I'm not scared of you or your little boyfriend. Frankly you're a nuisance to all of us. James will move on to Ellie. You and I both know that." Jasper sneered.

"Well you should be Wellington...if you do anything to me James will know. He knows you started the fire. I fucking told him and guess what...he believes me. He knows you. The world knows you. You're going down for this one." I said realizing I was making him angrier by the second.

I made a run for it back into the cabin, remembering I was still recording the outfit video for Lydia. I hit delayed send as he grabbed me and pulled me back over to the balcony.

"Shut up...you bitch. You ruined my life!" He yelled slapping me across the face.

"You did this to yourself! You could've just let me go when I broke up with you. Look where your pride has gotten us Jasper. All over sex with me! Guess what I was never going to sleep with you. If anything I used you!" I shouted, tears streaming down my face. Unable to handle the truth, he blacked out. The next thing I knew, I was in the water—the girl who couldn't swim.

I screamed, but my voice was swallowed by the rushing water. The current pulled me under, leaving me with only one chance to get their attention. I thrust my arm up, Lydia and I's best friends bracelet catching the light from the boat. It worked. Lydia started screaming, her voice piercing through as I bobbed up and down in the water..

"Everly!!" I knew that scream, that was my James. This wasn't fair. Not to him. He shouldn't have to watch my end. I should've learned to swim. I shouldn't have let fear hold me back all these years. I did whatever I could to tread water. But I was being pulled under more and more. Then the rain started. It was freezing cold and the wind was pelting me with it in the face. I kept screaming. But I couldn't hear anything. My body was in such shock I didn't realize I had started to sink underwater.

"James!!" I screamed. "James please!" I cried fighting my way back to the top. All of a sudden I saw a shadow beneath me in the water. It took me a second to remember the cut on the bottom of my foot. Now fully exposed to all sea life below me. And that included sharks. What an awful way to go. Fuck...I tried to tread, losing my bearings on the world around me. Where was I? Where was the boat? I'm so cold. The rain hasn't stopped.

"What was that?" I screamed out loud feeling something graze my foot. I could tell it has fins. I stared to cry because I was the prey. Jasper had gotten exactly what he wanted and no one would be able to prove what happened to me. I told myself not to give up, I kept trying to tread water. But I was struggling so much and the exhaustion had finally set in. I felt my body give up on me before my mind did.

"Everly! Everly!!" I swore my mind was playing tricks on me, hearing James' voice in the distance.

I gathered my last bit of strength to swim towards the light when a searing pain shot through my leg, as if I'd stepped on a thousand champagne glasses. The water around me darkened with blood. Panic set in as I realized something was biting me, likely a shark. Desperately, I kicked with all my might and miraculously freed myself. Summoning every ounce of energy, I swam harder and faster than I ever thought possible. I finally reached the lifeboat and collapsed into James' arms.

"Everly!" He cried as he pulled me up. I was so happy to see him, I didn't realize he was looking at me horrified.

"James.." I said laying on the floor of the boat.

"Evie...babe you're hurt. Everly just stay still. Your leg's bleeding a lot." He cried.

"Shark..." I mumbled deliriously.

"Fuck....how did you get away from it?" James asked me in shock.

"Kicked it...in the nose." My delirious answer brought a half smile to my boyfriend's face before he snapped back into tending to my injuries.

"You're losing a lot of blood, Eve... here." James said, tearing off his shirt and quickly wrapping it around my leg.

"I think I taught myself to swim." I laughed deliriously as James kissed my head.

"That you did my girl. I can't tell you how happy I am I found you." His voice was fading in and out.

"Me too... it worked," I said weakly, barely lifting my wrist to show the matching bracelet I had with Lydia.

"You and Lyds...forever and when my sister sets her mind to something. She gets it. So stay with me pretty girl." James' voice was barely audible as I closed my eyes.

"I'm just going to rest my eyes...for a minute." My voice weakened.

"No, Eve, keep your eyes open. You can't sleep, you're losing too much blood," James said sternly as he sat me up. It hit me then—we weren't on the yacht anymore.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"A long way from England sweet girl." James sighed.

"James, I never thought I'd say this but can we go home now?" I asked. He nodded pressing down on my leg to clot the bleeding.

"We'll be back in London before you know it Evie." He was lying to me. But it made me feel better in the moment.

"How did you find me?" I winced.

"The second Lydia saw your bracelet I got in the lifeboat and took off. I thought about just jumping off and swimming to you. But I realized that wouldn't help either of us. And I was worried you were hurt...Eve what happened?" James said.

"Jasper...I...told you...he won't stop." I mumbled before I completely lost consciousness.