FORTY-TWO:
THE FIVES

Finding that the old man in front of you is actually your 15 something-year-old brother from the future was a bit of a shock. But Alex was not any person.

If it was any other person, they would faint or cry or just go mad. But all Alex did was grinned and sat down next to old man Five, "Nice!"

He clapped the man on the back, "I'm still the eldest tho, don't get any ideas grandpa."

Old man Five stared at him with teary eyes. He had never thought he would see his brother ever again. Yes. he was planning on going back in time but the possibility of him succeeding was 50-50, there was a chance that he could never see Alex again. But here he was, a beer in his hand and sitting next to him grinning happily.

"So, what you guys talking about?"

He didn't get an answer, the two Fives were staring at each other with dead eyes, so he looked over at Luther who was sipping his beer.

"Ah, isn't this nice? the four of us here together?"

"No," Old man Five said without taking his eyes off of Five, "besides seeing Alex, no. somebody explain to me how I'm here having a pint of beer with my younger self?"

"Older, actually." Young-looking Five said, staring deep into his own old eyes, "I'm you, just 14 days older."

"I have pubic hair smarter than you. How is that possible?"

Alex sipped his beer enjoying this roasting-yourself or whatever it was show.

"I can explain it to you, see, in one hour from now on the grassy knoll, before the president was killed, you break your contract with the commission. I already know that you're thinking about it, all those years in the apocalypse we never stopped worrying about our family."

Alex silently cooed and noted to hug Five some more-- maybe even cuddle him!

"Well, today, you are going to do something about it. Today you are going to attempt to travel forward into 2019. However, you are going to screw up the jump and end up in this twip of a body." Five pointed at himself at the end, "Trapped, forever. small pubescent."

Old-man Five went red and said a little, "hey," before farting.

Alex stared at him in confusion, what?

"Even if I am to believe you what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?

"No, no. I need you to jump. You don't jump, I cease to exist.

Alex leaned closer to Luther and made sure the other two at the table couldn't hear him, "I think old-man Five is stupider than young-but-old Five."

Luther leaned closer as well and tried to whisper as much as physically possible for him, "Yeah, if they're the same person Five shouldn't have to explain this stuff to him, he's only 14 days younger."

Alex nodded and then leaned back against his chair like he hadn't just gossiped with Luther.

"What I need from you is to jump correctly."

"I'm listening."

"The first time through, I got the calculation wrong. That's how I ended up in this body. But now, I know the correct calculations."

"What is it?"

"I'd be glad to tell you, in exchange for that briefcase you got under the table."

Alex owed and leaned close to Luther once again, "we're here for the briefcase?"

"Mhm," Luther confirmed, "He said it was risky to meet himself cause of some Paradox Psychosis stuff."

"What's that?"

"he said there are seven stages, the farting earlier was one of them."

"Nice."

"Yeah, yeah. so you go back to 2019 as planned, but this time with the correct calculations so you remain-"

"A member of the elderly."

Luther glanced at Alex and shifted in his seat, "Yes, a fully grown man-"

"Who is also a member of the elderly."

Both Fives rolled their eyes.

"-In exchange we get that briefcase that you no longer need.," And with that Luther gave Old-man Five a creepy smile.

"Timeline restored, paradox resolved. everyone goes on existing happily ever after."

"That's quite a bit to take in."

"What do you think?" Young-old Five asked his old-14days-younger self after a moment of silence.

Alex and Luther leaned in, waiting for Five to answer.

"I think... I need to piss."

Alex groaned and looked at Luther, "This a stage ?"

Luther nodded.

without breaking eye contact, old-young Five picked up his briefcase and left.

"Well, besides the flop sweat, I think that went pretty well, am I right?" Luther took a napkin from the table and started cleaning Five's face.

"No, no there's something..."

Alex looked at his brother, "What is it?"

"I don't trust him."

"But he's just like you, you're just like him."

"exactly."

Alex looked at him for a second before looking at Luther and then looking back at Five, "I- don't get it?"

he sighed and flopped down on his chair, "I hope Klaus gets me a teddy bear. I lost my last one."

(somewhere, in Allison's neighbor's garage, Klaus sneezed. the owner of the house said 'bless you' which made Klaus jump up in fright. He ran back to Allison with a teddy bear in his hands.)

Luther left to go pee as well, leaving only Five and Alex.

"Listen, you can't- can't trust him." Five grabbed Alex by his shirt and leaned close to him so they were inches apart, "Anything happens, We need to get rid of him."

"kill him?"

"We have to."

"Can we dissolve his body in acid?"

"Yes," Five grinned evilly and Alex hesitantly grinned evilly back.

they waited in silence until The member of the elderly and monkey man returned.

"monke," Alex whispered and went to wipe his ketchup-covered finger on Luther's forehead like he's Simba.

Luther shoved him away.

"You good?" Five asked as Alex cleaned his fingers.

"We good."

"You got a deal. we gotta hurry, Kennedy's en route. less than an hour until showtime."

Five --the one Alex was with-- stood up and faced the other Five, both drenched in sweat, "Why are you anxious to get going all of a sudden?"

"Relax, you're getting paranoid," Luther's Five said emitting a chuckle from Alex's Five, "Oh, am I?"

Luther's Five looked away and then-

They both farted.

Alex sniffled a snort and disguised it as a cough, "Ok, let's go."

Alex and his Five left together and slowly, Luther and his Five followed them.

"Oh," Alex stopped, making the others stop as well.

"What?" Alex's Five said turning to look at the self-proclaimed older sibling.

"I just-" Alex shook his head, "I have somewhere I need to be."

And then he turned invisible.

"Alex!" Fives and Luther shouted, but Alex was gone.

☆彡WORDS: 1400☆彡

BONJOUR MA GIRLS, DUDES, AND FOLKS!
How y'all been this week?
Good I hope.

Sorry if this was short, Alex was canceled.

Here have a disturbing gif instead

Now memes :D

Ok so not creative but idc ^

Me next week: