CHAPTER FIVE:
THE FUNERAL

Five stood in front of the portrait of himself which was hanged on the wall next to the picture of the umbrella academy.

"Nice to know Dad didn't forget me." Five said as Vanya came and stood by him. Unknown to them, Alex was also standing next to Five. He was looking at the family pics. Well, family pics without Vanya. He sighed and turned to the other two -only one he could see- in the room.

"Read your book, by the way." Alex winced. The book was a sensitive subject in their family. All the unnecessary hate Vanya got was because of the book. He was there with Ben and Klaus when they first read the book. It basically exposed all their secrets to the public. Something that none wanted but still got.

"Found it in a library that was still standing.
I thought it was pretty good, all things considered." Five glanced at Vanya. "Yeah, definitely ballsy, giving up the family secrets.
Sure that went over well." he shrugged.

"They hate me." Vanya said in disappointment.

"Oh, there are worse things that can happen." Five tried to comfort her.

"You mean like what happened to Ben and Alex?" She got a nod in return.

"Was it bad?" she gave him a look.

Alex got a pained look on his face.

☄︎

The Hargreeves children, Grace and Pogo all stood outside in the pouring rain. All but two had a black umbrella over their heads. Klaus had a small white and pink umbrella over his head and Diego decided that he's too tough for an umbrella, so he was standing under the rain and getting wet. Alex was standing next to Ben, both had a colorful umbrella over their heads. But of course, no one but Klaus could see them.

The children -more like adults but they still act like kids so we're gonna call them children- looked at the statue of their brothers who weren't as lucky as them and had died at a young age. Both being around 20.

There in the garden stood two statues of ben and Alex Hargreeves.

"did something happen?" Grace asked in confusion and looked at her children for an answer. They all looked at her in concern.

Vanya was the one to reply. "dad died, remember?"

Grace looked around and seem to understand. "oh." and then started into the distance. "yes
, of course."

Allison voiced her concern for their mother. "is mom okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, she's fine." Diego started, "She just needs to rest. You know, recharge." he decided to defend her.

"Whenever you're ready, dear boy." Pogo said so they could start.

Luther picked the urn and got in the middle of the half circle they had made. He opened the urn and let the ashes of his father fall out.

Alex excepted a magical moment where the ashes would fly in the wind and they would all hear the whisper of their father saying something like, "goodbye my children." Or like, "I'm sorry...".

But it was nothing like that. When Luther emptied the urn, the ashes- not all of it because of what Klaus did. They had to put some of it under the carpet. And while doing so they prayed that their mother or Pogo wouldn't find out.- fell out and piled up.

Klaus pulled a face. Alex snorted and Ben elbowed him. Alex glared at Ben and pushed him out from under the umbrella.

"Hey!" Alex laughed.

"Probably would have been better with some wind." Luther tried to lighten up the situation and failed miserably.

"Does anyone wish to speak?" Pogo said and looked at the Hargreaves. They all looked at each other but neither spoke up. Alex despite being dead, started to whistle and look around. Klaus smiled at the others antics.

"Very well." Pogo said in disappointment, "In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master and my friend, and I shall miss him very much."

Alex looked at Ben and mouthed, "dad had Friends?" and Ben shrugged in reply.

"He leaves behind a complicated legacy-"

Diego interrupted the talking chimpanzee. "He was a monster." Alex nodded in agreement.

"He was a bad person and a worse father. The world's better off without him."

"Diego." Allison tried to talk to their angry brother.

"My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father couldn't be bothered to give us actual names. He had Mom do it." he started yelling at the end.

At the mention of her name, Grace turned to her children and smiled. "Would anyone like something to eat?"

Vanya answered with a smile on her face. "No, it's okay, Mom."

Grace looked sad at that."Oh, okay." and then started into a distance again.

"Look, you wanna pay your respects? Go ahead. But at least be honest about the kind of man he was." Diego continued his speech.

"You should stop talking now." number one decided to his brother from saying anything else.

"You know, you of all people should be on my side here, Number One."

"I am warning you." Luther threateningly stepped closer.

"After everything he did to you? He had to ship you a million miles away." Diego dismissed Luther.

"Diego, stop talking."

"That's how much he couldn't stand the sight of you!"

"Burnnn!"

Luther attacked Diego and they engaged in a battle.

"boys! Stop this at once!" Pogo shouted. No one listened.

After that Diego taunted Luther some more and they continued to fight. Klaus started to cheer and constantly shouted "hit him! Hit him!" in which he received a look from Alex who later joined him.

Ben and Alex placed bets on who would win or who would leave first. Of course they couldn't win anything because they were dead. Five was the first one to leave after commenting on how he didn't have time for these things. Pogo kinda disappeared.

They were wrestling when they came into contact with Ben and Alex's statue. Making them fall and get destroyed.

Alex whined, " come on man! I looked good. Can't say the same for ben but mine looked great!" Ben glare at his statue, he kinda agreed with Alex. He looked like that guy from lazy town.

"there goes my loves statue." he saw Ben glaring at him. "and Ben's."

"Jeez Ben, " Alex said. " you need to lighten up. You've glared at us more than you've glared in your whole life. Which was sad and short." he saw Ben's look. "I'm gonna shut up now."

They turned and saw that Diego was going back inside.

"uhh, we missed the fight!"

Klaus went to his father's ashes and put out the joint he had.

"I bet you're loving this. Hmm? The team at its best. It's just like old times. Best funeral ever." and with that, he turned and walked back inside with Ben and Alex, all chatting together.

☄︎

Reginald Hargreeves and Vanya stood on top of the stairs, Vanya with a whistle and Reginald had his red book in his hand and in his other hand, he had a watch.

"Nietzsche once said, 'Man is as a rope stretched between the animal and the superhuman. A rope over an abyss. It is a dangerous crossing, a dangerous looking-back, a dangerous trembling and halting.'"

He gave Vanya a look and she blew in her whistle.

"As much as you must strive for individual greatness, and strive you must, for it won't come to you of its own accord you must also remember that there is no individual stronger than the collective."

Diego grunted as five teleported a few stairs upper than them.

"That's not fair, Five's cheating!"

Reginald looked down, "He adapted."

The six hargreeves children wrestled to make it first. In the chaos, an invisible number eight quickly and quietly made his way up the stairs and appeared next to his father.

Reginald' lips moved and he smiled for less than a second. He then mentioned for number eight to stay hidden and wrote something in his book.

"The ties that bind you together - make you stronger than you are alone."

It was a normal day for the children until they heard their father calling them. When they all arrived in the hall, their cheerful faces changed to one of horror.

Allison cried in Klaus's arms. The two going first to get their tattoo.

"They will make you impervious to the pain and hardship the world will thrust upon you.
And believe me when I tell you, life will be hard"

Diego was next, he sat and waited for the pain to come. His mother, Grace, tried to hold his arm to comfort him but he pushed her away.

"It will be painful.
We can accomplish anything when we accept responsibility together.
This is what creates trust."

He made eye contact with Alex from across the room and the reassuring look his brother gave him was enough for him. He calmed down a bit and got his tattoo.

From where Alex sat beside his brothers, he held Ben's hand to comfort the boy. He was terrified but he knew that his siblings looked up to him and he couldn't be seen as weak in their eyes. not now.

"Together, you will stand against the reign of evil."

☄︎

Klaus and Alex were in the kitchen. Alex was laying on the table with his eyes closed as Klaus sat on a chair with his guitar.

"is that the one you stole?" Alex asked with his eyes closed.

Klaus didn't look up from where he was trying to play the guitar. "Which one?"

"Hmm? The one with the mustache guy."

Klaus thought for a second then shook his head. "no it was the guy who looked like a hippy Dumbledore."

"oh." after a moment they both laughed at the memory.

Five entered the kitchen and immediately started to look in the cabinets.

"ask what he's looking for." Alex told the seance.

"why should I?" Klaus asked making five look at him.

"what?"

"nothing, umm whatcha looking for?"

Five turned back to the cabinets. "coffee."

Klaus and Alex nodded.

Allison entered the Kitchen. "Where's Vanya"

"Oh, she's gone." Klaus answered as he played with the guitar.

"That's unfortunate." Five said about the lack of coffee in the house.

"Yeah," Allison said about Vanya.

"An entire square block. Forty-two bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, but no, not a single drop of coffee." Five said and slammed his hands on the table that Alex was laying on, making the said man to jump at the sound.

"Dad hated caffeine." Allison reasoned.

"Well, he hated children, too, and he had plenty of us." Klaus said jokingly and the only one who laughed was the dead sibling.

"I'm taking the car." Five said as he started to leave.

"Where are you going?" Allison asked in concern. Fearing that he would leave again.

"To get a decent cup of coffee."

"to get a decent cu- bitch please." Alex said and then put a hand on his heart.

"Do you even know how to drive?" Allison looked at him like he was crazy.

"I know how to do everything."

"cocky son of-"

And with that, Five teleported out to get his 'decent cup of coffee'.

"I feel like we should try and stop him, but then again, I also just kinda want to see what happens." there was the sound of the engine turning on.

Right then, Diego entered the room.

"All right, I guess I'll see you guys in, what, ten years? When Pogo dies? "

"Not if you die first." Allison snapped

"Yeah, love you too, sis." Diego snapped back. "Good luck on your next film, Hope it turns out better than your marriage, huh?"

Klaus got out of the chair and abandoned his stolen guitar. Alex also got of the wall he was leaning on after the scare Five gave him.

"Are-Are we leaving?"

"No, I'm leaving, me by myself." Diego emphasized on the 'me' part.

"Oh, fabulous! I'll get my things. Come on Al!" with that they both ran to get their stuff.

Diego used this time to slip away. As he sat in the car, Kalus opened the door waited for a second so Alex could get inside and sat inside. Ben also appeared next to them

"Hey! Diego." Diego closed his eyes and then opened them and sighed. He has gotten used to his brother.

"You know, every time I close my eyes, I see a diarrhetic hippo about to shit on my face.
It's terrifying! Terrific."

Alex looked at Klaus horrified. "What?!"

Diego sighed once more and looks at Klaus. "hold on."

☄︎

Diego parked them somewhere near the water and got out after telling them to stay in the car.

Klaus and Alex were in the middle of an important conversation. Ben was brooding beside them. Ben stuck between Klaus and Alex.

"-it's not possible for mushrooms to fly Klaus! It's not possible." Alex throws his hands in the air. They had this conversation before, and they never came to an agreement.

"But what if it was?! It could be possible. They could have wings!"

"For gods sake-"

"Guys!" Ben shouted, ending the argument that the lovers were having. Klaus and Alex looked at Ben.

"I'm hungry."

They looked at Ben in disbelief. Not believing that the horror stoped their important conversation for this.

"Well," Alex started. "Me too."

"You what?" Klaus questioned.

"I'm hungry." Both Ben and Alex looked at Klaus.

Klaus rolled his eyes and stocked his head out the window.

"Yoo-hoo, Diego! I hate to rush you through any kind of brooding moment you might be having, but come on, man, we're starving!"

He inhaled and exhaled. "I'm craving eggs."

"It's late."

"No! Wait, it's too late for eggs."

"It is."

"Waffles, huh? You like waffles, right?" Klaus got nods in return.

"Of course you do." He puffed. "Everyone likes waffles."

They heard water splashing and then the radio which Diego placed on the car said something about Griddy's Doughnuts. Diego came back to the car.

"Diego, thank you for joining us, we have decided on, drum roll, waffles."

"More like you decided on waffles."

"I'm gonna drop you off at the bus stop. I gotta get back to work." Diego said and started the car.

"But we don't have any money." Alex whined and Ben brooded even more.

"What, breaking bones and cracking skulls?" Klaus said sarcastically.

"Saving lives, baby."

Ben looked at Klaus. "Frozen waffles? Again?"

"Well, I guess it's frozen waffles again." Klaus said almost apologetically.

"We could have eggs and bacon." Alex suggested.

"Yeah, I could do egg and bacon, but I'm trying to cut down on my pig products." Klaus explained to his brother and lover.

Diego watched in silence as his brother had a conversation with a ghost.

"Klaus, why you lying?"

And with that They drove away.

☆彡WORDS: 2600☆彡

Hey guys!
It took me HOURS to write this.My fingers hurt. So if there's any mistake, kill me now.

But I was like 'WE REACHED 2K I HAVE TO WRITE THIS'
So here you go.

Thanks for the reads guys and your comments really motivates me to write faster. I also want to thank those who add my book to their reading list(s).

Ps: the mushroom convo is a real thing. I've been trying to convince my best friend that they could fly and can do it if they want. She disagrees.

love you all.
XXX