"Time-y what now?"
"Nothing, just ho ho ho!"
•••••••

Doctor who and the umbrella academy crossover
••••••••

It was a normal day. A normal Christmasy day.

And I mean it was.

Emphasize the was.

Everyone was doing they're own stuff, from painting their nails and doing their make up, to attempting murder.

Sad thing is, you can't really say who would be doing what. The old children- cause they act like kids but are like 30- could be found doing those stuff based on their mood. But luckily, after sometime and with Alex nagging constantly, they went to the living room in their pajamas (some in their onesies) to watch a movie. The tree was place in the corner of the living room and was decorated with so much glitter it was concerning, Grace had dug our the lights and everyone had put a thing or two on the tree. The tree was a perfect mix of the family. With the glitter, knives and bombs all over it. The Hargreeves were happy with the outcome. Even Five smiled a tiny smile!

After constant bickering over what to watch (Klaus was sitting on Luther and yelling "NEMO" in his face -Ben was shouting too but klaus' voice overpowered him- while Diego had his knives out and was threatening Alex with them. Alex wanted to watch 'dumb and dumber' and Diego wanted 'Titanic'. Five had insisted on watching a documentary on global warming and would teleport anyone who said otherwise to a desert until Grace would walk in and make him bring them back. Vanya had said 'the pianist' and was silent ever since, watching as her siblings tore each other apart) Allison rumored everyone and they quietly sat and waited for Allison to put a movie on

So here they were, watching "Home alone" and shouting at the screen when Trump appeared, when they heard a strange noise coming from outside.

Alex paused the movie and stood beside Vanya who was wearing her white pajamas.

"What was that?" Ben asked. He had a Nemo onesies.

No one replied. Except for the dumb one.

"Santa?" Alex said with a shrug.

They all looked at Five, excepting the man child to have some answers. He just took a sip from his margarita and shrugged.

They all started going to the back yard, where they heard the noise come from.

As they got closer, they could hear a man with Scottish accent.

"...Gerard Way,Gabriel Ba. All of them! That reminds me, I don't want to run into the cast. I owe Mathew a chimichanga."

"You what?!" They heard another female voice.

"Eh, it was a bet and- Ohh! Interesting!" The male seemed to be distracted by something, Causing the female to huff. 

The eight Hargreeves looked at each other, and they opened the door. Slowly might I add.

As the female turned, she was met with the sight of seven adults huddled together wearing pajamas-two of which were hello kitty and not worn by the females- and a teenager drinking margarita.

"Umm...Doctor?" She called the male.

The Hargreeves then noticed the giant blue box with "POLICE BOX" written on the front in their back yard. They had no such thing in their house and they doubt that Pogo had bought it.

From behind the box a gray head appeared.

"Santa?!" Alex whispered.

The old man had a grumpy face. Like he was furious. He saw the group and blinked, "Oh! Hello!" He waved while holding a strange thing in his hand.

Diego immediately took one of his knives and threw it the old guy. The knife hit the wall behind the furious man, painfully close to his face.

Everyone had token a defensive stance.

They didn't look that intimidating while wearing pajamas and one still sipping a margarita.

"Who are you?" Luther asked a second before Diego, making him glare at the bigger guy.

"I'm the Doctor. Just that, Doctor. Nothing before or after it. And this is Clara." The old guy-now known as the Doctor- said and when he looked at Alex he scoffed.

"I'm not going to give you your chimichangas." He said with his Scottish accent.

Alex frowned, "I don't even like chimichangas."

Clara looked at the group excited. "Oh my god. It's them!"

The Doctor guy scoffed, "of course it's them, I said I'll bring you to them and I did. Like always. Right place, right Time. Always." He ignored the look his companion gave him at the last part.

Klaus looked at them and said, "Are you her grandpa or somethin' ?"

The Doctor looked at him in surprise, "How can you say that when we look exactly the same age?"

Ben looked at the gray hair and the face, "beside the obviously gray hair and wrinkles?"

The Doctor's frown deepened even more, "I'm not wrinkly, you are."

Clara rolled her eyes, "real mature Doctor."

And then turned to the group, once again excited.

"Oh god, hi! I'm a big fan." She said with a big smile on her face and waved.

Klaus and Alex were the only ones who returned the wave.

(Maybe Vanya did too but she was behind everyone so you couldn't actually see her)

"Something's wrong." The Doctor said and started sniffing around like a dog.

"Doctor?" Clara called the older man, sounding concerned.

The group just watched.

The Doctor walked up to Ben, sniffed and whispered something like 'fish' before moving to where Ben's broken statue once stood. And then he licked it.

The eight kick-assers gagged. Not Klaus. Never Klaus. 

"You!" He said and turned, pointing at Alex, "you said you don't like chimichangas."

Alex blinked, "Duh."

Clara cleared her throat, "thought you said you owed him a chimichanga?"

The Doctor winced, "I did. I still do."

"If he won't eat it, i will!" Klaus said cheerfully from where he was standing next to Alex.

Doctor rolled his eyes, "No Robert, I'm not gonna give you chimichangas."

The group looked confused.

Klaus turned to Alex and mouthed, "Robert?"

Alex shrugged.

Everyone was confused.

"Why do you smell like that?" The Doctor asked.

"Who?" Clara asked.

The doctor pointed at Luther, "you smell like monkey."

Diego snorted, earning a glare from Luther, " because he is."

"And the boy is old."

Clara looked at Doctor, "how can Aiden be old?"

"Whoa," Five interrupted, "who the fuck is Aiden, Robert and Mathew?"

Doctors blinked before a look of realization took it's place.

"Ah, you must be Five then."

Clara looked confused, "sorry, what?"

Alex looked at her, "believe me, I'm just as confused as you are."

"Clara, I might have made a mistake." The Doctor winced.

Clara groaned, "again?"

He huffed, "I don't make mistakes much. I just... don't do something correctly from time to time."

Diego snapped at him, tired of being ignored and confused, "and how is that different, grandpa?!"

"I'm not old!"

Alex looked at him, "you kinda are."

"I'm not!"

"Doctor calm down." Clara said with a huff.

"Back to the mistake," Allison began, "What is the mistake?"

The Doctor brightened up," the mistake! Yes,yes! Well you see I must have mistaken a one for a nine, making my calculations slightly off, and with how the time vortex took it's time and the ride was rather bumpy, dear lord, it was bumpier than that ride in Roxacoricofallapatourius," everyone tried to follow the Doctor as he went from one topic to a long ass name.

"Can you believe it has a twin planet named Clom? Clom! Who even named these!" Now he sounded furious. Like his face.

"And don't get me started on the Judoonia! Those stupid Judoons. I remember one time one of them told me 'blo mo co jo, ta co fo jo' and I told him, I said and I quote, 'fo mo co jo to sa ho po'. And I can't believe he thought I insulted him!"

He stopped to breathe.

There was silence for eight seconds before Alex said, "whaaaaat?"

Doctor waved him off, "your little brain couldn't handle this complicated conversation."

Five snorted and toke another sip.

"I still want the chimichangas." Klaus said when no one said anything for a second.

Ben turned to Alex, "okay, are we the only ones excepting Santa?"

"I guess?" Alex shrugged, "I mean I'm still waiting for him to appear out of nowhere and give us-except for Luther cause he's a little bitch- our presents."

Klaus pitched in, "dude same."

Clara's voice bought them back to the conversation everyone was having.

"How are we gonna go back!"

"Your faith and trust in me is concerning," the Doctor said with a hand on his heart.

"Your concerning me, dude," Ben snapped or tried to snap but give him a break!

"Why do I have to fix everything?" Five spoke for the first time in forever and walked up to the Doctor. "Just reverse whatever you were doing and you'll go back to your dimension, idiot."

The Doctor sneered at him, "I know what to do."

"Sure you did," Five took a sip from his never ending margarita.

"Okay," Allison gained everyone's attention, "everyone back in, we were watching a movie."

Everyone started to groan but complied and got back into the house, before Allison could follow them she was stopped by Clara.

"Can we- can we join you guys?" She asked nervously, playing with the end of her sweater.

"Clara don't be stupi-"

"Of course you can, come in." Allison Interrupted old man Doctor and gestured for them to enter.

And that's how the eight kick-assers and the dimension travelers were found the next morning by Grace.

All cuddling and snoring.

She snapped a picture to use as blackmail, but beside that everything was well in the Hargreeves household.

.Marry Christmas everyone.